Feeling guilty

NoExcuses · Jun 20, 2008

kids in daycare get colds more often. colds can be so rough on CFers, i don't see the point in subjecting an innocent child to such torture.

and the whole "build up immunity" saying is a myth - talk to any infectious disease doctor or microbiologist.

if we all built up immunity to colds, we would never get them again. when exposed to a virus, your body builds immunity to that exact virus. but viruses mutate throughout cold and flu season and from year to year, and this is why many people (especially CFers) get sick with colds repeatedly.

if the goal is to prolong life and preserve lung function (colds can lead to colonized bacteria growth in CFer's lungs), daycare would be the exact opposite of what you want.

every case is different blah blah so if you feel the need to reply and delcare your kid has an FEV1 over 100% despite going to daycare, good for you. i'm speaking on average, on the whole, statistically. there are always outliers.

edited to add: i also don't see the point in having a kid to then have someone else raise the kid. you can work when the kid is in school. why not make sure that you're there for your child's most formative years to bond, teach, and create a warm, stable environment that only a parent can give.

i've never heard of a kid say "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more.

take a minute to reflect why you had a child in the first place. i doubt you had it to bond more and identify more with a nanny than you. and it doesn't matter how good the nanny is - no one will care for your child better than you.

again, i anticipate a lot of "i was raised by a nanny and i turned out fine" type of responses. that's not what i'm getting at. i'm talking about the best for a child as opposed to rolling the dice.

i hope you chose to put off working until kindergarden.

NoExcuses · Jun 20, 2008

kids in daycare get colds more often. colds can be so rough on CFers, i don't see the point in subjecting an innocent child to such torture.

and the whole "build up immunity" saying is a myth - talk to any infectious disease doctor or microbiologist.

if we all built up immunity to colds, we would never get them again. when exposed to a virus, your body builds immunity to that exact virus. but viruses mutate throughout cold and flu season and from year to year, and this is why many people (especially CFers) get sick with colds repeatedly.

if the goal is to prolong life and preserve lung function (colds can lead to colonized bacteria growth in CFer's lungs), daycare would be the exact opposite of what you want.

every case is different blah blah so if you feel the need to reply and delcare your kid has an FEV1 over 100% despite going to daycare, good for you. i'm speaking on average, on the whole, statistically. there are always outliers.

edited to add: i also don't see the point in having a kid to then have someone else raise the kid. you can work when the kid is in school. why not make sure that you're there for your child's most formative years to bond, teach, and create a warm, stable environment that only a parent can give.

i've never heard of a kid say "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more.

take a minute to reflect why you had a child in the first place. i doubt you had it to bond more and identify more with a nanny than you. and it doesn't matter how good the nanny is - no one will care for your child better than you.

again, i anticipate a lot of "i was raised by a nanny and i turned out fine" type of responses. that's not what i'm getting at. i'm talking about the best for a child as opposed to rolling the dice.

i hope you chose to put off working until kindergarden.

NoExcuses · Jun 20, 2008

kids in daycare get colds more often. colds can be so rough on CFers, i don't see the point in subjecting an innocent child to such torture.

and the whole "build up immunity" saying is a myth - talk to any infectious disease doctor or microbiologist.

if we all built up immunity to colds, we would never get them again. when exposed to a virus, your body builds immunity to that exact virus. but viruses mutate throughout cold and flu season and from year to year, and this is why many people (especially CFers) get sick with colds repeatedly.

if the goal is to prolong life and preserve lung function (colds can lead to colonized bacteria growth in CFer's lungs), daycare would be the exact opposite of what you want.

every case is different blah blah so if you feel the need to reply and delcare your kid has an FEV1 over 100% despite going to daycare, good for you. i'm speaking on average, on the whole, statistically. there are always outliers.

edited to add: i also don't see the point in having a kid to then have someone else raise the kid. you can work when the kid is in school. why not make sure that you're there for your child's most formative years to bond, teach, and create a warm, stable environment that only a parent can give.

i've never heard of a kid say "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more.

take a minute to reflect why you had a child in the first place. i doubt you had it to bond more and identify more with a nanny than you. and it doesn't matter how good the nanny is - no one will care for your child better than you.

again, i anticipate a lot of "i was raised by a nanny and i turned out fine" type of responses. that's not what i'm getting at. i'm talking about the best for a child as opposed to rolling the dice.

i hope you chose to put off working until kindergarden.

NoExcuses · Jun 20, 2008

kids in daycare get colds more often. colds can be so rough on CFers, i don't see the point in subjecting an innocent child to such torture.

and the whole "build up immunity" saying is a myth - talk to any infectious disease doctor or microbiologist.

if we all built up immunity to colds, we would never get them again. when exposed to a virus, your body builds immunity to that exact virus. but viruses mutate throughout cold and flu season and from year to year, and this is why many people (especially CFers) get sick with colds repeatedly.

if the goal is to prolong life and preserve lung function (colds can lead to colonized bacteria growth in CFer's lungs), daycare would be the exact opposite of what you want.

every case is different blah blah so if you feel the need to reply and delcare your kid has an FEV1 over 100% despite going to daycare, good for you. i'm speaking on average, on the whole, statistically. there are always outliers.

edited to add: i also don't see the point in having a kid to then have someone else raise the kid. you can work when the kid is in school. why not make sure that you're there for your child's most formative years to bond, teach, and create a warm, stable environment that only a parent can give.

i've never heard of a kid say "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more.

take a minute to reflect why you had a child in the first place. i doubt you had it to bond more and identify more with a nanny than you. and it doesn't matter how good the nanny is - no one will care for your child better than you.

again, i anticipate a lot of "i was raised by a nanny and i turned out fine" type of responses. that's not what i'm getting at. i'm talking about the best for a child as opposed to rolling the dice.

i hope you chose to put off working until kindergarden.

NoExcuses · Jun 20, 2008

kids in daycare get colds more often. colds can be so rough on CFers, i don't see the point in subjecting an innocent child to such torture.
 
 and the whole "build up immunity" saying is a myth - talk to any infectious disease doctor or microbiologist.
 
 if we all built up immunity to colds, we would never get them again. when exposed to a virus, your body builds immunity to that exact virus. but viruses mutate throughout cold and flu season and from year to year, and this is why many people (especially CFers) get sick with colds repeatedly.
 
 if the goal is to prolong life and preserve lung function (colds can lead to colonized bacteria growth in CFer's lungs), daycare would be the exact opposite of what you want.
 
 every case is different blah blah so if you feel the need to reply and delcare your kid has an FEV1 over 100% despite going to daycare, good for you. i'm speaking on average, on the whole, statistically. there are always outliers.
 
 edited to add: i also don't see the point in having a kid to then have someone else raise the kid. you can work when the kid is in school. why not make sure that you're there for your child's most formative years to bond, teach, and create a warm, stable environment that only a parent can give.
 
 i've never heard of a kid say "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more.
 
 take a minute to reflect why you had a child in the first place. i doubt you had it to bond more and identify more with a nanny than you. and it doesn't matter how good the nanny is - no one will care for your child better than you.
 
 again, i anticipate a lot of "i was raised by a nanny and i turned out fine" type of responses. that's not what i'm getting at. i'm talking about the best for a child as opposed to rolling the dice.
 
 i hope you chose to put off working until kindergarden.

Sheridan · Jun 20, 2008

I am sorry but No Excuses what a horrible, nasty post. A child is happiest when the parent is happy. Having an unhappy parent at home who wished they were elsewhere is far much worse for the child then being with someone who is paid to look and care for the child and having happy fulfilled parent.

It is the parents right to choose how there child is raised without people replying in such a manner as to make them feel guilty for even thinking about it.

Yes I will do the whole my child thing. I have 2 CF children and yes both of them have been in or are in care. My eldest started just after his 1st birthday and my youngest started at 5 months. No i am not going to go on about FEV scores or anything like that. But both boys are happy and healthy with no major health concerns for either yet.

I think your post was rude and extremely opininated and I truly hope that if you have children you are in a postition that stay home, however posting a reply like this is hurtful you point could have been delivered in a much nicer manner.

I recently went through this myself about giving up work. I spoke to both my CF doctor and my pead and they both told me flat outright not to give up my job as and I quote "you need time for yourself, you need a release from the stress of it all".

In terms of health people can not live their lives in a bubble, children need exposure to things and other people and yes they may get a cold or sick, but they may not and if they were never to be exposed to anything in the fear of getting sick who then is missing out - the child.

To suggest that we parents are 'rolling the dice' indicates that parents who work and use childcare have put no thought into it whatsoever. Most parents spend hours researching, questioning, looking and visitng places before settling on the best one. Parents can work and still be around, sometimes quality is so much better than quantity.

I think the whole "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more" is crap sure there are kids that would say this because their parents are neglectful but to suggest that lots of kids say this is silly, if thats the case how many kids wished they had a pony, does that mean to be good parents we need to boy them one!

Sarah, I would suggest that you go for what you feel deep down and I think that you have choosen to go to work and are looking for people to reassure you that it is okay to be doing something for yourself. I am a teacher too and I think it is the most rewarding career and the best bit is all the holidays when you can spend all that time at home with your children and then later on oversee them at school if they go to the same - Think about what is best for your family as a whole.

Good luck with whatever your decision is!

Sheridan · Jun 20, 2008

I am sorry but No Excuses what a horrible, nasty post. A child is happiest when the parent is happy. Having an unhappy parent at home who wished they were elsewhere is far much worse for the child then being with someone who is paid to look and care for the child and having happy fulfilled parent.

It is the parents right to choose how there child is raised without people replying in such a manner as to make them feel guilty for even thinking about it.

Yes I will do the whole my child thing. I have 2 CF children and yes both of them have been in or are in care. My eldest started just after his 1st birthday and my youngest started at 5 months. No i am not going to go on about FEV scores or anything like that. But both boys are happy and healthy with no major health concerns for either yet.

I think your post was rude and extremely opininated and I truly hope that if you have children you are in a postition that stay home, however posting a reply like this is hurtful you point could have been delivered in a much nicer manner.

I recently went through this myself about giving up work. I spoke to both my CF doctor and my pead and they both told me flat outright not to give up my job as and I quote "you need time for yourself, you need a release from the stress of it all".

In terms of health people can not live their lives in a bubble, children need exposure to things and other people and yes they may get a cold or sick, but they may not and if they were never to be exposed to anything in the fear of getting sick who then is missing out - the child.

To suggest that we parents are 'rolling the dice' indicates that parents who work and use childcare have put no thought into it whatsoever. Most parents spend hours researching, questioning, looking and visitng places before settling on the best one. Parents can work and still be around, sometimes quality is so much better than quantity.

I think the whole "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more" is crap sure there are kids that would say this because their parents are neglectful but to suggest that lots of kids say this is silly, if thats the case how many kids wished they had a pony, does that mean to be good parents we need to boy them one!

Sarah, I would suggest that you go for what you feel deep down and I think that you have choosen to go to work and are looking for people to reassure you that it is okay to be doing something for yourself. I am a teacher too and I think it is the most rewarding career and the best bit is all the holidays when you can spend all that time at home with your children and then later on oversee them at school if they go to the same - Think about what is best for your family as a whole.

Good luck with whatever your decision is!

Sheridan · Jun 20, 2008

I am sorry but No Excuses what a horrible, nasty post. A child is happiest when the parent is happy. Having an unhappy parent at home who wished they were elsewhere is far much worse for the child then being with someone who is paid to look and care for the child and having happy fulfilled parent.

It is the parents right to choose how there child is raised without people replying in such a manner as to make them feel guilty for even thinking about it.

Yes I will do the whole my child thing. I have 2 CF children and yes both of them have been in or are in care. My eldest started just after his 1st birthday and my youngest started at 5 months. No i am not going to go on about FEV scores or anything like that. But both boys are happy and healthy with no major health concerns for either yet.

I think your post was rude and extremely opininated and I truly hope that if you have children you are in a postition that stay home, however posting a reply like this is hurtful you point could have been delivered in a much nicer manner.

I recently went through this myself about giving up work. I spoke to both my CF doctor and my pead and they both told me flat outright not to give up my job as and I quote "you need time for yourself, you need a release from the stress of it all".

In terms of health people can not live their lives in a bubble, children need exposure to things and other people and yes they may get a cold or sick, but they may not and if they were never to be exposed to anything in the fear of getting sick who then is missing out - the child.

To suggest that we parents are 'rolling the dice' indicates that parents who work and use childcare have put no thought into it whatsoever. Most parents spend hours researching, questioning, looking and visitng places before settling on the best one. Parents can work and still be around, sometimes quality is so much better than quantity.

I think the whole "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more" is crap sure there are kids that would say this because their parents are neglectful but to suggest that lots of kids say this is silly, if thats the case how many kids wished they had a pony, does that mean to be good parents we need to boy them one!

Sarah, I would suggest that you go for what you feel deep down and I think that you have choosen to go to work and are looking for people to reassure you that it is okay to be doing something for yourself. I am a teacher too and I think it is the most rewarding career and the best bit is all the holidays when you can spend all that time at home with your children and then later on oversee them at school if they go to the same - Think about what is best for your family as a whole.

Good luck with whatever your decision is!

Sheridan · Jun 20, 2008

I am sorry but No Excuses what a horrible, nasty post. A child is happiest when the parent is happy. Having an unhappy parent at home who wished they were elsewhere is far much worse for the child then being with someone who is paid to look and care for the child and having happy fulfilled parent.

It is the parents right to choose how there child is raised without people replying in such a manner as to make them feel guilty for even thinking about it.

Yes I will do the whole my child thing. I have 2 CF children and yes both of them have been in or are in care. My eldest started just after his 1st birthday and my youngest started at 5 months. No i am not going to go on about FEV scores or anything like that. But both boys are happy and healthy with no major health concerns for either yet.

I think your post was rude and extremely opininated and I truly hope that if you have children you are in a postition that stay home, however posting a reply like this is hurtful you point could have been delivered in a much nicer manner.

I recently went through this myself about giving up work. I spoke to both my CF doctor and my pead and they both told me flat outright not to give up my job as and I quote "you need time for yourself, you need a release from the stress of it all".

In terms of health people can not live their lives in a bubble, children need exposure to things and other people and yes they may get a cold or sick, but they may not and if they were never to be exposed to anything in the fear of getting sick who then is missing out - the child.

To suggest that we parents are 'rolling the dice' indicates that parents who work and use childcare have put no thought into it whatsoever. Most parents spend hours researching, questioning, looking and visitng places before settling on the best one. Parents can work and still be around, sometimes quality is so much better than quantity.

I think the whole "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more" is crap sure there are kids that would say this because their parents are neglectful but to suggest that lots of kids say this is silly, if thats the case how many kids wished they had a pony, does that mean to be good parents we need to boy them one!

Sarah, I would suggest that you go for what you feel deep down and I think that you have choosen to go to work and are looking for people to reassure you that it is okay to be doing something for yourself. I am a teacher too and I think it is the most rewarding career and the best bit is all the holidays when you can spend all that time at home with your children and then later on oversee them at school if they go to the same - Think about what is best for your family as a whole.

Good luck with whatever your decision is!

Sheridan · Jun 20, 2008

I am sorry but No Excuses what a horrible, nasty post. A child is happiest when the parent is happy. Having an unhappy parent at home who wished they were elsewhere is far much worse for the child then being with someone who is paid to look and care for the child and having happy fulfilled parent.
 
 It is the parents right to choose how there child is raised without people replying in such a manner as to make them feel guilty for even thinking about it.
 
 Yes I will do the whole my child thing. I have 2 CF children and yes both of them have been in or are in care. My eldest started just after his 1st birthday and my youngest started at 5 months. No i am not going to go on about FEV scores or anything like that. But both boys are happy and healthy with no major health concerns for either yet.
 
 I think your post was rude and extremely opininated and I truly hope that if you have children you are in a postition that stay home, however posting a reply like this is hurtful you point could have been delivered in a much nicer manner.
 
 I recently went through this myself about giving up work. I spoke to both my CF doctor and my pead and they both told me flat outright not to give up my job as and I quote "you need time for yourself, you need a release from the stress of it all".
 
 In terms of health people can not live their lives in a bubble, children need exposure to things and other people and yes they may get a cold or sick, but they may not and if they were never to be exposed to anything in the fear of getting sick who then is missing out - the child.
 
 To suggest that we parents are 'rolling the dice' indicates that parents who work and use childcare have put no thought into it whatsoever. Most parents spend hours researching, questioning, looking and visitng places before settling on the best one. Parents can work and still be around, sometimes quality is so much better than quantity.
 
 I think the whole "i wish my mom worked .... my life would have been so much better. i do know lots of kids who wished their parents were around more" is crap sure there are kids that would say this because their parents are neglectful but to suggest that lots of kids say this is silly, if thats the case how many kids wished they had a pony, does that mean to be good parents we need to boy them one!
 
 Sarah, I would suggest that you go for what you feel deep down and I think that you have choosen to go to work and are looking for people to reassure you that it is okay to be doing something for yourself. I am a teacher too and I think it is the most rewarding career and the best bit is all the holidays when you can spend all that time at home with your children and then later on oversee them at school if they go to the same - Think about what is best for your family as a whole.
 
 Good luck with whatever your decision is!

Ratatosk · Jun 20, 2008

As mentioned before, this wasn't a decision we took lightly and it's hard to put down in a post like this all that went into our choice. One thing we considered was that eventually DS was going to be going to public school and we were worried about suddenly tossing him into an environment like that if he hadn't been around other children -- germs, etc.

We spoke with his doctor at length about what precautions should be taken -- babies separated from the general population -- DS was in a group of 6 babies, they've all grown up together. He gets a a flu shot.... When someone within the center gets sick, the daycare director has been very good about keeping us informed. Also I've been very impressed with their sanitation, handwashing practices. They also keep the kids active -- go on walks, to the park, go sledding... In the wintertime getting them all outside instead of stuck inside during cold and flu season, really keeps the numbers down as far as sick kids.

I will say that so far, DS has pretty much been the healthiest kid in his group. I was warned two years ago that some of his classmates got rotavirus -- he was the only one who didn't get it. He's gotten a cold or two thru out the years...

Ratatosk · Jun 20, 2008

As mentioned before, this wasn't a decision we took lightly and it's hard to put down in a post like this all that went into our choice. One thing we considered was that eventually DS was going to be going to public school and we were worried about suddenly tossing him into an environment like that if he hadn't been around other children -- germs, etc.

We spoke with his doctor at length about what precautions should be taken -- babies separated from the general population -- DS was in a group of 6 babies, they've all grown up together. He gets a a flu shot.... When someone within the center gets sick, the daycare director has been very good about keeping us informed. Also I've been very impressed with their sanitation, handwashing practices. They also keep the kids active -- go on walks, to the park, go sledding... In the wintertime getting them all outside instead of stuck inside during cold and flu season, really keeps the numbers down as far as sick kids.

I will say that so far, DS has pretty much been the healthiest kid in his group. I was warned two years ago that some of his classmates got rotavirus -- he was the only one who didn't get it. He's gotten a cold or two thru out the years...

Ratatosk · Jun 20, 2008

As mentioned before, this wasn't a decision we took lightly and it's hard to put down in a post like this all that went into our choice. One thing we considered was that eventually DS was going to be going to public school and we were worried about suddenly tossing him into an environment like that if he hadn't been around other children -- germs, etc.

We spoke with his doctor at length about what precautions should be taken -- babies separated from the general population -- DS was in a group of 6 babies, they've all grown up together. He gets a a flu shot.... When someone within the center gets sick, the daycare director has been very good about keeping us informed. Also I've been very impressed with their sanitation, handwashing practices. They also keep the kids active -- go on walks, to the park, go sledding... In the wintertime getting them all outside instead of stuck inside during cold and flu season, really keeps the numbers down as far as sick kids.

I will say that so far, DS has pretty much been the healthiest kid in his group. I was warned two years ago that some of his classmates got rotavirus -- he was the only one who didn't get it. He's gotten a cold or two thru out the years...

Ratatosk · Jun 20, 2008

As mentioned before, this wasn't a decision we took lightly and it's hard to put down in a post like this all that went into our choice. One thing we considered was that eventually DS was going to be going to public school and we were worried about suddenly tossing him into an environment like that if he hadn't been around other children -- germs, etc.

We spoke with his doctor at length about what precautions should be taken -- babies separated from the general population -- DS was in a group of 6 babies, they've all grown up together. He gets a a flu shot.... When someone within the center gets sick, the daycare director has been very good about keeping us informed. Also I've been very impressed with their sanitation, handwashing practices. They also keep the kids active -- go on walks, to the park, go sledding... In the wintertime getting them all outside instead of stuck inside during cold and flu season, really keeps the numbers down as far as sick kids.

I will say that so far, DS has pretty much been the healthiest kid in his group. I was warned two years ago that some of his classmates got rotavirus -- he was the only one who didn't get it. He's gotten a cold or two thru out the years...

Ratatosk · Jun 20, 2008

As mentioned before, this wasn't a decision we took lightly and it's hard to put down in a post like this all that went into our choice. One thing we considered was that eventually DS was going to be going to public school and we were worried about suddenly tossing him into an environment like that if he hadn't been around other children -- germs, etc.
 
 We spoke with his doctor at length about what precautions should be taken -- babies separated from the general population -- DS was in a group of 6 babies, they've all grown up together. He gets a a flu shot.... When someone within the center gets sick, the daycare director has been very good about keeping us informed. Also I've been very impressed with their sanitation, handwashing practices. They also keep the kids active -- go on walks, to the park, go sledding... In the wintertime getting them all outside instead of stuck inside during cold and flu season, really keeps the numbers down as far as sick kids.
 
 I will say that so far, DS has pretty much been the healthiest kid in his group. I was warned two years ago that some of his classmates got rotavirus -- he was the only one who didn't get it. He's gotten a cold or two thru out the years...

pjspiegle · Jun 20, 2008

I think that what you are feeling is normal. Just be careful not to set up a trap for yourself that when you go back to work and she gets sick for the first time that you do not blame yourself. I assure you with CF she is going to get sick and it isn't going to matter whether you went back to work or not.

I think that if I had someone that I trusted, like my momm or a best friend, to watch my kids while I was working, I would go to work. I have worked from time to time while raising my children, I have four, and was fortunante enough to have either my husband or mother be able to take care of them while I was working. I also had the perfect situation of a job for about 7 years while my father owned a property management company. I was able to work very flexible hours and take the kids to work with me or work at home when needed. It was also great because if Nathan did get sick, I was able to take off with no problems, it was perfect.

The next best person for taking care of your kids, is your mom and I am sure all will be fine. I am understanding you correctly that it is your mother that will be taking care of her, right?

I personally have been more of a stay at home mom than a career mom but at times I had to work for one reason or another, but I also have 4. I am currently going back to school to work on my BSN degree and have felt kind of guilty about going back to school and my kids are all now older, 13, 15, 16, and 17. I think that you are questioning yourself is proof that you are a good mother and that your priorities are in the right place, so go back to work and don't feel guilty. You will be better able to take care of your daughter if you take care of yourself and if working is one way of feeling normal, do it and don't feel guilty about it.

We need good teachers! It is an important job. Just an idea, but perhaps you could think about becoming a professor at a college or Jr college someday and be an online teacher. I know that a couple of my instructors had families, one with a chronically ill child (not CF, something else) and she needed to work and teaching at college online was a great option for her. It allowed her to work but have all the time she needed for her son the same time. She would take her laptop with her when he was in the hosptial and be there for him but be able to work too. I don't know if this would work for you at all but just an idea for you to keep in the back of your mind should you ever need to come up with a new or different plan. I only mention this because I also know that in this day and age being a stay at home mom just isn't possible for many different reasons and some of us really need to be able to work for our own personal reasons. Anyways, being a teacher, this could be an option for you for the future if needed.

LOL, DON'T feel guilty or bad,

Patty

pjspiegle · Jun 20, 2008

I think that what you are feeling is normal. Just be careful not to set up a trap for yourself that when you go back to work and she gets sick for the first time that you do not blame yourself. I assure you with CF she is going to get sick and it isn't going to matter whether you went back to work or not.

I think that if I had someone that I trusted, like my momm or a best friend, to watch my kids while I was working, I would go to work. I have worked from time to time while raising my children, I have four, and was fortunante enough to have either my husband or mother be able to take care of them while I was working. I also had the perfect situation of a job for about 7 years while my father owned a property management company. I was able to work very flexible hours and take the kids to work with me or work at home when needed. It was also great because if Nathan did get sick, I was able to take off with no problems, it was perfect.

The next best person for taking care of your kids, is your mom and I am sure all will be fine. I am understanding you correctly that it is your mother that will be taking care of her, right?

I personally have been more of a stay at home mom than a career mom but at times I had to work for one reason or another, but I also have 4. I am currently going back to school to work on my BSN degree and have felt kind of guilty about going back to school and my kids are all now older, 13, 15, 16, and 17. I think that you are questioning yourself is proof that you are a good mother and that your priorities are in the right place, so go back to work and don't feel guilty. You will be better able to take care of your daughter if you take care of yourself and if working is one way of feeling normal, do it and don't feel guilty about it.

We need good teachers! It is an important job. Just an idea, but perhaps you could think about becoming a professor at a college or Jr college someday and be an online teacher. I know that a couple of my instructors had families, one with a chronically ill child (not CF, something else) and she needed to work and teaching at college online was a great option for her. It allowed her to work but have all the time she needed for her son the same time. She would take her laptop with her when he was in the hosptial and be there for him but be able to work too. I don't know if this would work for you at all but just an idea for you to keep in the back of your mind should you ever need to come up with a new or different plan. I only mention this because I also know that in this day and age being a stay at home mom just isn't possible for many different reasons and some of us really need to be able to work for our own personal reasons. Anyways, being a teacher, this could be an option for you for the future if needed.

LOL, DON'T feel guilty or bad,

Patty

pjspiegle · Jun 20, 2008

I think that what you are feeling is normal. Just be careful not to set up a trap for yourself that when you go back to work and she gets sick for the first time that you do not blame yourself. I assure you with CF she is going to get sick and it isn't going to matter whether you went back to work or not.

I think that if I had someone that I trusted, like my momm or a best friend, to watch my kids while I was working, I would go to work. I have worked from time to time while raising my children, I have four, and was fortunante enough to have either my husband or mother be able to take care of them while I was working. I also had the perfect situation of a job for about 7 years while my father owned a property management company. I was able to work very flexible hours and take the kids to work with me or work at home when needed. It was also great because if Nathan did get sick, I was able to take off with no problems, it was perfect.

The next best person for taking care of your kids, is your mom and I am sure all will be fine. I am understanding you correctly that it is your mother that will be taking care of her, right?

I personally have been more of a stay at home mom than a career mom but at times I had to work for one reason or another, but I also have 4. I am currently going back to school to work on my BSN degree and have felt kind of guilty about going back to school and my kids are all now older, 13, 15, 16, and 17. I think that you are questioning yourself is proof that you are a good mother and that your priorities are in the right place, so go back to work and don't feel guilty. You will be better able to take care of your daughter if you take care of yourself and if working is one way of feeling normal, do it and don't feel guilty about it.

We need good teachers! It is an important job. Just an idea, but perhaps you could think about becoming a professor at a college or Jr college someday and be an online teacher. I know that a couple of my instructors had families, one with a chronically ill child (not CF, something else) and she needed to work and teaching at college online was a great option for her. It allowed her to work but have all the time she needed for her son the same time. She would take her laptop with her when he was in the hosptial and be there for him but be able to work too. I don't know if this would work for you at all but just an idea for you to keep in the back of your mind should you ever need to come up with a new or different plan. I only mention this because I also know that in this day and age being a stay at home mom just isn't possible for many different reasons and some of us really need to be able to work for our own personal reasons. Anyways, being a teacher, this could be an option for you for the future if needed.

LOL, DON'T feel guilty or bad,

Patty

pjspiegle · Jun 20, 2008

I think that what you are feeling is normal. Just be careful not to set up a trap for yourself that when you go back to work and she gets sick for the first time that you do not blame yourself. I assure you with CF she is going to get sick and it isn't going to matter whether you went back to work or not.

I think that if I had someone that I trusted, like my momm or a best friend, to watch my kids while I was working, I would go to work. I have worked from time to time while raising my children, I have four, and was fortunante enough to have either my husband or mother be able to take care of them while I was working. I also had the perfect situation of a job for about 7 years while my father owned a property management company. I was able to work very flexible hours and take the kids to work with me or work at home when needed. It was also great because if Nathan did get sick, I was able to take off with no problems, it was perfect.

The next best person for taking care of your kids, is your mom and I am sure all will be fine. I am understanding you correctly that it is your mother that will be taking care of her, right?

I personally have been more of a stay at home mom than a career mom but at times I had to work for one reason or another, but I also have 4. I am currently going back to school to work on my BSN degree and have felt kind of guilty about going back to school and my kids are all now older, 13, 15, 16, and 17. I think that you are questioning yourself is proof that you are a good mother and that your priorities are in the right place, so go back to work and don't feel guilty. You will be better able to take care of your daughter if you take care of yourself and if working is one way of feeling normal, do it and don't feel guilty about it.

We need good teachers! It is an important job. Just an idea, but perhaps you could think about becoming a professor at a college or Jr college someday and be an online teacher. I know that a couple of my instructors had families, one with a chronically ill child (not CF, something else) and she needed to work and teaching at college online was a great option for her. It allowed her to work but have all the time she needed for her son the same time. She would take her laptop with her when he was in the hosptial and be there for him but be able to work too. I don't know if this would work for you at all but just an idea for you to keep in the back of your mind should you ever need to come up with a new or different plan. I only mention this because I also know that in this day and age being a stay at home mom just isn't possible for many different reasons and some of us really need to be able to work for our own personal reasons. Anyways, being a teacher, this could be an option for you for the future if needed.

LOL, DON'T feel guilty or bad,

Patty

pjspiegle · Jun 20, 2008

I think that what you are feeling is normal. Just be careful not to set up a trap for yourself that when you go back to work and she gets sick for the first time that you do not blame yourself. I assure you with CF she is going to get sick and it isn't going to matter whether you went back to work or not.
 
 I think that if I had someone that I trusted, like my momm or a best friend, to watch my kids while I was working, I would go to work. I have worked from time to time while raising my children, I have four, and was fortunante enough to have either my husband or mother be able to take care of them while I was working. I also had the perfect situation of a job for about 7 years while my father owned a property management company. I was able to work very flexible hours and take the kids to work with me or work at home when needed. It was also great because if Nathan did get sick, I was able to take off with no problems, it was perfect.
 
 The next best person for taking care of your kids, is your mom and I am sure all will be fine. I am understanding you correctly that it is your mother that will be taking care of her, right?
 
 I personally have been more of a stay at home mom than a career mom but at times I had to work for one reason or another, but I also have 4. I am currently going back to school to work on my BSN degree and have felt kind of guilty about going back to school and my kids are all now older, 13, 15, 16, and 17. I think that you are questioning yourself is proof that you are a good mother and that your priorities are in the right place, so go back to work and don't feel guilty. You will be better able to take care of your daughter if you take care of yourself and if working is one way of feeling normal, do it and don't feel guilty about it.
 
 We need good teachers! It is an important job. Just an idea, but perhaps you could think about becoming a professor at a college or Jr college someday and be an online teacher. I know that a couple of my instructors had families, one with a chronically ill child (not CF, something else) and she needed to work and teaching at college online was a great option for her. It allowed her to work but have all the time she needed for her son the same time. She would take her laptop with her when he was in the hosptial and be there for him but be able to work too. I don't know if this would work for you at all but just an idea for you to keep in the back of your mind should you ever need to come up with a new or different plan. I only mention this because I also know that in this day and age being a stay at home mom just isn't possible for many different reasons and some of us really need to be able to work for our own personal reasons. Anyways, being a teacher, this could be an option for you for the future if needed.
 
 LOL, DON'T feel guilty or bad,
 
 Patty

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