Feeling guilty

C

chrissyd

New member
Its a tough choice thats for sure. When my step daughter came to live with us (she was 1 when custody was determined the first time) I did home day care. I took classes in child development and had always wanted to teach. But with my health, home daycare was my best bet. I watched 3 kids total, and within 1 year of my daughter! (younger)

When it was time for preschool; I took classes and became a preschool teacher! My class were right across from hers; so when she started full day kindergarten; it wasn't so hard on her. (although I cried!)

She is almost 12 now (27th!!) and is doing well in school. Very well; she got a presidential achievement award this year, and next year will be going to middle school (7th grade)

I think we all struggle with the choice to go back or not. My daughter is healthy, thank God, but if she was not...I would have taken every precaution I could...

Meaning if you have someone who knows her medical needs and can help you, that is wonderful. If not, you should wait until you found someone (although from your post it sounds like you have already found someone) I agree with what noexcueses said about building up immunity...silly idea. But if you have a smaller daycare, then why not?
It's the factory like daycares I get worried about anyway (I used to work for one!!)

Good luck...and yes...I think it's ok to want to get back to a "normal" life.


<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
Its a tough choice thats for sure. When my step daughter came to live with us (she was 1 when custody was determined the first time) I did home day care. I took classes in child development and had always wanted to teach. But with my health, home daycare was my best bet. I watched 3 kids total, and within 1 year of my daughter! (younger)

When it was time for preschool; I took classes and became a preschool teacher! My class were right across from hers; so when she started full day kindergarten; it wasn't so hard on her. (although I cried!)

She is almost 12 now (27th!!) and is doing well in school. Very well; she got a presidential achievement award this year, and next year will be going to middle school (7th grade)

I think we all struggle with the choice to go back or not. My daughter is healthy, thank God, but if she was not...I would have taken every precaution I could...

Meaning if you have someone who knows her medical needs and can help you, that is wonderful. If not, you should wait until you found someone (although from your post it sounds like you have already found someone) I agree with what noexcueses said about building up immunity...silly idea. But if you have a smaller daycare, then why not?
It's the factory like daycares I get worried about anyway (I used to work for one!!)

Good luck...and yes...I think it's ok to want to get back to a "normal" life.


<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
Its a tough choice thats for sure. When my step daughter came to live with us (she was 1 when custody was determined the first time) I did home day care. I took classes in child development and had always wanted to teach. But with my health, home daycare was my best bet. I watched 3 kids total, and within 1 year of my daughter! (younger)

When it was time for preschool; I took classes and became a preschool teacher! My class were right across from hers; so when she started full day kindergarten; it wasn't so hard on her. (although I cried!)

She is almost 12 now (27th!!) and is doing well in school. Very well; she got a presidential achievement award this year, and next year will be going to middle school (7th grade)

I think we all struggle with the choice to go back or not. My daughter is healthy, thank God, but if she was not...I would have taken every precaution I could...

Meaning if you have someone who knows her medical needs and can help you, that is wonderful. If not, you should wait until you found someone (although from your post it sounds like you have already found someone) I agree with what noexcueses said about building up immunity...silly idea. But if you have a smaller daycare, then why not?
It's the factory like daycares I get worried about anyway (I used to work for one!!)

Good luck...and yes...I think it's ok to want to get back to a "normal" life.


<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
Its a tough choice thats for sure. When my step daughter came to live with us (she was 1 when custody was determined the first time) I did home day care. I took classes in child development and had always wanted to teach. But with my health, home daycare was my best bet. I watched 3 kids total, and within 1 year of my daughter! (younger)

When it was time for preschool; I took classes and became a preschool teacher! My class were right across from hers; so when she started full day kindergarten; it wasn't so hard on her. (although I cried!)

She is almost 12 now (27th!!) and is doing well in school. Very well; she got a presidential achievement award this year, and next year will be going to middle school (7th grade)

I think we all struggle with the choice to go back or not. My daughter is healthy, thank God, but if she was not...I would have taken every precaution I could...

Meaning if you have someone who knows her medical needs and can help you, that is wonderful. If not, you should wait until you found someone (although from your post it sounds like you have already found someone) I agree with what noexcueses said about building up immunity...silly idea. But if you have a smaller daycare, then why not?
It's the factory like daycares I get worried about anyway (I used to work for one!!)

Good luck...and yes...I think it's ok to want to get back to a "normal" life.


<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

chrissyd

New member
Its a tough choice thats for sure. When my step daughter came to live with us (she was 1 when custody was determined the first time) I did home day care. I took classes in child development and had always wanted to teach. But with my health, home daycare was my best bet. I watched 3 kids total, and within 1 year of my daughter! (younger)
<br />
<br />When it was time for preschool; I took classes and became a preschool teacher! My class were right across from hers; so when she started full day kindergarten; it wasn't so hard on her. (although I cried!)
<br />
<br />She is almost 12 now (27th!!) and is doing well in school. Very well; she got a presidential achievement award this year, and next year will be going to middle school (7th grade)
<br />
<br />I think we all struggle with the choice to go back or not. My daughter is healthy, thank God, but if she was not...I would have taken every precaution I could...
<br />
<br />Meaning if you have someone who knows her medical needs and can help you, that is wonderful. If not, you should wait until you found someone (although from your post it sounds like you have already found someone) I agree with what noexcueses said about building up immunity...silly idea. But if you have a smaller daycare, then why not?
<br />It's the factory like daycares I get worried about anyway (I used to work for one!!)
<br />
<br />Good luck...and yes...I think it's ok to want to get back to a "normal" life.
<br />
<br />
<br /><img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
<br />
 
C

carriepathy

New member
Fully agree with everyone that NoExcuses post was out of order. As Mums all we can hope for is to do our best, and to be the best we can be ourselves. I have 2 kids, one aged nearly 4 without cf but with asthma and fits, and one at 5 months with cf. I worked from 3 months with my first, and am about to return to work next week. Yes, I worry about how things will work out with our nanny, and the cost of private care is really more than we can afford, but I strongly believe that it's the best I can do to go back to work and organise great childcare.

My kids need me to be strong, happy, fulfilled - for me this includes my work. My daughter has always flourished with nannies - she's confident, independent, and knows that there are lots of people who love her and who can care for her. But she also often tells me that she loves me more than anyone - we have a fantastic, cuddly, loving relationship. I know I'm a better mum for working - it's a private choice, but when you've made it, please don't feel guilty. We can't let our children's illness take over - it's too much responsibility to put on them. And one day they'll leave home and go and start their own families - we can't just live all our lives for them - they need us to be complete individuals too.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right thing for your family, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
 
C

carriepathy

New member
Fully agree with everyone that NoExcuses post was out of order. As Mums all we can hope for is to do our best, and to be the best we can be ourselves. I have 2 kids, one aged nearly 4 without cf but with asthma and fits, and one at 5 months with cf. I worked from 3 months with my first, and am about to return to work next week. Yes, I worry about how things will work out with our nanny, and the cost of private care is really more than we can afford, but I strongly believe that it's the best I can do to go back to work and organise great childcare.

My kids need me to be strong, happy, fulfilled - for me this includes my work. My daughter has always flourished with nannies - she's confident, independent, and knows that there are lots of people who love her and who can care for her. But she also often tells me that she loves me more than anyone - we have a fantastic, cuddly, loving relationship. I know I'm a better mum for working - it's a private choice, but when you've made it, please don't feel guilty. We can't let our children's illness take over - it's too much responsibility to put on them. And one day they'll leave home and go and start their own families - we can't just live all our lives for them - they need us to be complete individuals too.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right thing for your family, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
 
C

carriepathy

New member
Fully agree with everyone that NoExcuses post was out of order. As Mums all we can hope for is to do our best, and to be the best we can be ourselves. I have 2 kids, one aged nearly 4 without cf but with asthma and fits, and one at 5 months with cf. I worked from 3 months with my first, and am about to return to work next week. Yes, I worry about how things will work out with our nanny, and the cost of private care is really more than we can afford, but I strongly believe that it's the best I can do to go back to work and organise great childcare.

My kids need me to be strong, happy, fulfilled - for me this includes my work. My daughter has always flourished with nannies - she's confident, independent, and knows that there are lots of people who love her and who can care for her. But she also often tells me that she loves me more than anyone - we have a fantastic, cuddly, loving relationship. I know I'm a better mum for working - it's a private choice, but when you've made it, please don't feel guilty. We can't let our children's illness take over - it's too much responsibility to put on them. And one day they'll leave home and go and start their own families - we can't just live all our lives for them - they need us to be complete individuals too.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right thing for your family, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
 
C

carriepathy

New member
Fully agree with everyone that NoExcuses post was out of order. As Mums all we can hope for is to do our best, and to be the best we can be ourselves. I have 2 kids, one aged nearly 4 without cf but with asthma and fits, and one at 5 months with cf. I worked from 3 months with my first, and am about to return to work next week. Yes, I worry about how things will work out with our nanny, and the cost of private care is really more than we can afford, but I strongly believe that it's the best I can do to go back to work and organise great childcare.

My kids need me to be strong, happy, fulfilled - for me this includes my work. My daughter has always flourished with nannies - she's confident, independent, and knows that there are lots of people who love her and who can care for her. But she also often tells me that she loves me more than anyone - we have a fantastic, cuddly, loving relationship. I know I'm a better mum for working - it's a private choice, but when you've made it, please don't feel guilty. We can't let our children's illness take over - it's too much responsibility to put on them. And one day they'll leave home and go and start their own families - we can't just live all our lives for them - they need us to be complete individuals too.
Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right thing for your family, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
 
C

carriepathy

New member
Fully agree with everyone that NoExcuses post was out of order. As Mums all we can hope for is to do our best, and to be the best we can be ourselves. I have 2 kids, one aged nearly 4 without cf but with asthma and fits, and one at 5 months with cf. I worked from 3 months with my first, and am about to return to work next week. Yes, I worry about how things will work out with our nanny, and the cost of private care is really more than we can afford, but I strongly believe that it's the best I can do to go back to work and organise great childcare.
<br />
<br />My kids need me to be strong, happy, fulfilled - for me this includes my work. My daughter has always flourished with nannies - she's confident, independent, and knows that there are lots of people who love her and who can care for her. But she also often tells me that she loves me more than anyone - we have a fantastic, cuddly, loving relationship. I know I'm a better mum for working - it's a private choice, but when you've made it, please don't feel guilty. We can't let our children's illness take over - it's too much responsibility to put on them. And one day they'll leave home and go and start their own families - we can't just live all our lives for them - they need us to be complete individuals too.
<br />Whatever you decide, I'm sure it will be the right thing for your family, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
 
T

TonyaH

Guest
Hi there,

First of all, Sarah, if you need to work then you need to work. Don't feel guilty for supporting your family. Ellie will grow up needing care that will cost a LOT of money, and having the means to provide it will be very important to her health. If you truly need to work, then you are making a good parenting decision.

Secondly, if I could go off topic for moment, I would like to urge the parents, especially the new ones here, to remember what a wonderful resource we have in this website. I may not always agree with people's tones, but I come here for information and stories of experience dealing with this disease. Amy, (NO EXCUSES), is a very good source of information here. You do not have to agree with what she says, but if a question is posted asking for perspective, we should be open to hearing different oppinions. That is why we come here! And please, let us not throw the "until you're a parent" card in the CFers faces. We are parents. God blessed us with children. The advice CFers can give us to help care for our children is priceless. Let's remember that some of them selflessly give us advice knowing that they may never have children of their own to care for.

Anyway, just my two cents. I usually stay out of things like this and figure they will work themselves out, but I appreciate people's experience too much to have them bashed for sharing it.

Everyone here really does mean well.
 
T

TonyaH

Guest
Hi there,

First of all, Sarah, if you need to work then you need to work. Don't feel guilty for supporting your family. Ellie will grow up needing care that will cost a LOT of money, and having the means to provide it will be very important to her health. If you truly need to work, then you are making a good parenting decision.

Secondly, if I could go off topic for moment, I would like to urge the parents, especially the new ones here, to remember what a wonderful resource we have in this website. I may not always agree with people's tones, but I come here for information and stories of experience dealing with this disease. Amy, (NO EXCUSES), is a very good source of information here. You do not have to agree with what she says, but if a question is posted asking for perspective, we should be open to hearing different oppinions. That is why we come here! And please, let us not throw the "until you're a parent" card in the CFers faces. We are parents. God blessed us with children. The advice CFers can give us to help care for our children is priceless. Let's remember that some of them selflessly give us advice knowing that they may never have children of their own to care for.

Anyway, just my two cents. I usually stay out of things like this and figure they will work themselves out, but I appreciate people's experience too much to have them bashed for sharing it.

Everyone here really does mean well.
 
T

TonyaH

Guest
Hi there,

First of all, Sarah, if you need to work then you need to work. Don't feel guilty for supporting your family. Ellie will grow up needing care that will cost a LOT of money, and having the means to provide it will be very important to her health. If you truly need to work, then you are making a good parenting decision.

Secondly, if I could go off topic for moment, I would like to urge the parents, especially the new ones here, to remember what a wonderful resource we have in this website. I may not always agree with people's tones, but I come here for information and stories of experience dealing with this disease. Amy, (NO EXCUSES), is a very good source of information here. You do not have to agree with what she says, but if a question is posted asking for perspective, we should be open to hearing different oppinions. That is why we come here! And please, let us not throw the "until you're a parent" card in the CFers faces. We are parents. God blessed us with children. The advice CFers can give us to help care for our children is priceless. Let's remember that some of them selflessly give us advice knowing that they may never have children of their own to care for.

Anyway, just my two cents. I usually stay out of things like this and figure they will work themselves out, but I appreciate people's experience too much to have them bashed for sharing it.

Everyone here really does mean well.
 
T

TonyaH

Guest
Hi there,

First of all, Sarah, if you need to work then you need to work. Don't feel guilty for supporting your family. Ellie will grow up needing care that will cost a LOT of money, and having the means to provide it will be very important to her health. If you truly need to work, then you are making a good parenting decision.

Secondly, if I could go off topic for moment, I would like to urge the parents, especially the new ones here, to remember what a wonderful resource we have in this website. I may not always agree with people's tones, but I come here for information and stories of experience dealing with this disease. Amy, (NO EXCUSES), is a very good source of information here. You do not have to agree with what she says, but if a question is posted asking for perspective, we should be open to hearing different oppinions. That is why we come here! And please, let us not throw the "until you're a parent" card in the CFers faces. We are parents. God blessed us with children. The advice CFers can give us to help care for our children is priceless. Let's remember that some of them selflessly give us advice knowing that they may never have children of their own to care for.

Anyway, just my two cents. I usually stay out of things like this and figure they will work themselves out, but I appreciate people's experience too much to have them bashed for sharing it.

Everyone here really does mean well.
 
T

TonyaH

Guest
Hi there,
<br />
<br />First of all, Sarah, if you need to work then you need to work. Don't feel guilty for supporting your family. Ellie will grow up needing care that will cost a LOT of money, and having the means to provide it will be very important to her health. If you truly need to work, then you are making a good parenting decision.
<br />
<br />Secondly, if I could go off topic for moment, I would like to urge the parents, especially the new ones here, to remember what a wonderful resource we have in this website. I may not always agree with people's tones, but I come here for information and stories of experience dealing with this disease. Amy, (NO EXCUSES), is a very good source of information here. You do not have to agree with what she says, but if a question is posted asking for perspective, we should be open to hearing different oppinions. That is why we come here! And please, let us not throw the "until you're a parent" card in the CFers faces. We are parents. God blessed us with children. The advice CFers can give us to help care for our children is priceless. Let's remember that some of them selflessly give us advice knowing that they may never have children of their own to care for.
<br />
<br />Anyway, just my two cents. I usually stay out of things like this and figure they will work themselves out, but I appreciate people's experience too much to have them bashed for sharing it.
<br />
<br />Everyone here really does mean well.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I agree with what Tonya says!!!

Amy (NoExcuses) is very passionate about children having the best both with their health & their parents. She wants the best for ANY CFer.

As Tonya pointed out some CFers will never be parents so to play the "you arent a parent card" is just as hurtful.

One thing to keep in mind is that we are all in this fight together. We might have different roles (CFers, parents, grandparents, kids, aunts or friends), but the ultimate goal is the same!
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I agree with what Tonya says!!!

Amy (NoExcuses) is very passionate about children having the best both with their health & their parents. She wants the best for ANY CFer.

As Tonya pointed out some CFers will never be parents so to play the "you arent a parent card" is just as hurtful.

One thing to keep in mind is that we are all in this fight together. We might have different roles (CFers, parents, grandparents, kids, aunts or friends), but the ultimate goal is the same!
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I agree with what Tonya says!!!

Amy (NoExcuses) is very passionate about children having the best both with their health & their parents. She wants the best for ANY CFer.

As Tonya pointed out some CFers will never be parents so to play the "you arent a parent card" is just as hurtful.

One thing to keep in mind is that we are all in this fight together. We might have different roles (CFers, parents, grandparents, kids, aunts or friends), but the ultimate goal is the same!
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I agree with what Tonya says!!!

Amy (NoExcuses) is very passionate about children having the best both with their health & their parents. She wants the best for ANY CFer.

As Tonya pointed out some CFers will never be parents so to play the "you arent a parent card" is just as hurtful.

One thing to keep in mind is that we are all in this fight together. We might have different roles (CFers, parents, grandparents, kids, aunts or friends), but the ultimate goal is the same!
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
I agree with what Tonya says!!!
<br />
<br />Amy (NoExcuses) is very passionate about children having the best both with their health & their parents. She wants the best for ANY CFer.
<br />
<br />As Tonya pointed out some CFers will never be parents so to play the "you arent a parent card" is just as hurtful.
<br />
<br />One thing to keep in mind is that we are all in this fight together. We might have different roles (CFers, parents, grandparents, kids, aunts or friends), but the ultimate goal is the same!
<br />
<br />
 
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