Going for the 2nd baby

rubyroselee · Dec 26, 2007

Hi Christian,

It is definitely hard to decide when and if you want to have more kids. My spouse and I figured that we wanted more than one from the very beginning. When our son was born we realized that having a child is much harder work than we thought and having a second child seemed like it would just be too much for us. But after our son reached 6 months and started becoming more independent, we realized that it is something that we'd be able to do. It will be hard but we can do it. I wanted to have our second child very soon afterwards while my health is stable and I am okay to get pregnant. Plus we wanted them to be close in age. My brother and I were 4.5 years apart and I felt that was too much of an age difference and I didn't like it. It just seems like it will flow with having our kids 1.5 years apart.

But I do worry about how we will handle two little ones. I just figure that we will get into a routine with two kids just as we did with our first.

I guess you just have to figure out what's right for you. Give Vienna some more quality one-on-one time and get to know her personality. You'll be able to judge if it's a good time to think about bringing a little sister or brother into the world (just like Caroline mentioned).

See how your health is doing next summer and if you're ready for #2. In the meantime, take care of yourself and try to get yourself in the best shape possible for pregnancy. I think you'll figure out when the best time is.

Leah 26 w/CF, 7 weeks pregnant, mom to non-biological son born 2/4/07

rubyroselee · Dec 26, 2007

Hi Christian,

It is definitely hard to decide when and if you want to have more kids. My spouse and I figured that we wanted more than one from the very beginning. When our son was born we realized that having a child is much harder work than we thought and having a second child seemed like it would just be too much for us. But after our son reached 6 months and started becoming more independent, we realized that it is something that we'd be able to do. It will be hard but we can do it. I wanted to have our second child very soon afterwards while my health is stable and I am okay to get pregnant. Plus we wanted them to be close in age. My brother and I were 4.5 years apart and I felt that was too much of an age difference and I didn't like it. It just seems like it will flow with having our kids 1.5 years apart.

But I do worry about how we will handle two little ones. I just figure that we will get into a routine with two kids just as we did with our first.

I guess you just have to figure out what's right for you. Give Vienna some more quality one-on-one time and get to know her personality. You'll be able to judge if it's a good time to think about bringing a little sister or brother into the world (just like Caroline mentioned).

See how your health is doing next summer and if you're ready for #2. In the meantime, take care of yourself and try to get yourself in the best shape possible for pregnancy. I think you'll figure out when the best time is.

Leah 26 w/CF, 7 weeks pregnant, mom to non-biological son born 2/4/07

rubyroselee · Dec 26, 2007

Hi Christian,

It is definitely hard to decide when and if you want to have more kids. My spouse and I figured that we wanted more than one from the very beginning. When our son was born we realized that having a child is much harder work than we thought and having a second child seemed like it would just be too much for us. But after our son reached 6 months and started becoming more independent, we realized that it is something that we'd be able to do. It will be hard but we can do it. I wanted to have our second child very soon afterwards while my health is stable and I am okay to get pregnant. Plus we wanted them to be close in age. My brother and I were 4.5 years apart and I felt that was too much of an age difference and I didn't like it. It just seems like it will flow with having our kids 1.5 years apart.

But I do worry about how we will handle two little ones. I just figure that we will get into a routine with two kids just as we did with our first.

I guess you just have to figure out what's right for you. Give Vienna some more quality one-on-one time and get to know her personality. You'll be able to judge if it's a good time to think about bringing a little sister or brother into the world (just like Caroline mentioned).

See how your health is doing next summer and if you're ready for #2. In the meantime, take care of yourself and try to get yourself in the best shape possible for pregnancy. I think you'll figure out when the best time is.

Leah 26 w/CF, 7 weeks pregnant, mom to non-biological son born 2/4/07

rubyroselee · Dec 26, 2007

Hi Christian,

It is definitely hard to decide when and if you want to have more kids. My spouse and I figured that we wanted more than one from the very beginning. When our son was born we realized that having a child is much harder work than we thought and having a second child seemed like it would just be too much for us. But after our son reached 6 months and started becoming more independent, we realized that it is something that we'd be able to do. It will be hard but we can do it. I wanted to have our second child very soon afterwards while my health is stable and I am okay to get pregnant. Plus we wanted them to be close in age. My brother and I were 4.5 years apart and I felt that was too much of an age difference and I didn't like it. It just seems like it will flow with having our kids 1.5 years apart.

But I do worry about how we will handle two little ones. I just figure that we will get into a routine with two kids just as we did with our first.

I guess you just have to figure out what's right for you. Give Vienna some more quality one-on-one time and get to know her personality. You'll be able to judge if it's a good time to think about bringing a little sister or brother into the world (just like Caroline mentioned).

See how your health is doing next summer and if you're ready for #2. In the meantime, take care of yourself and try to get yourself in the best shape possible for pregnancy. I think you'll figure out when the best time is.

Leah 26 w/CF, 7 weeks pregnant, mom to non-biological son born 2/4/07

rubyroselee · Dec 26, 2007

Hi Christian,

It is definitely hard to decide when and if you want to have more kids. My spouse and I figured that we wanted more than one from the very beginning. When our son was born we realized that having a child is much harder work than we thought and having a second child seemed like it would just be too much for us. But after our son reached 6 months and started becoming more independent, we realized that it is something that we'd be able to do. It will be hard but we can do it. I wanted to have our second child very soon afterwards while my health is stable and I am okay to get pregnant. Plus we wanted them to be close in age. My brother and I were 4.5 years apart and I felt that was too much of an age difference and I didn't like it. It just seems like it will flow with having our kids 1.5 years apart.

But I do worry about how we will handle two little ones. I just figure that we will get into a routine with two kids just as we did with our first.

I guess you just have to figure out what's right for you. Give Vienna some more quality one-on-one time and get to know her personality. You'll be able to judge if it's a good time to think about bringing a little sister or brother into the world (just like Caroline mentioned).

See how your health is doing next summer and if you're ready for #2. In the meantime, take care of yourself and try to get yourself in the best shape possible for pregnancy. I think you'll figure out when the best time is.

Leah 26 w/CF, 7 weeks pregnant, mom to non-biological son born 2/4/07

mom2lillian · Dec 27, 2007

well sounds like you are in the same boat I was about 6 months ago! I was itching for one but I held out my better judgement and now I am glad.

Studies have shown that 12-15 months is the optimal time between pregnancies to reduce risk of complications (from having them too close). My peri said that with an additional illness you might want to wait the 15 months.

Since I work full time I think it makes a big difference in that I want them to be a bit further apart, if I was staying home I wouldnt mind having them closer together and would probably start trying asap after weaning. Lillian still wakes up 2x a night and is NOT ready to wean so that is a big factor.

Also I had a hard pregnancy so if I were to get pregnant and still have her not sleeping well.....not good. I am also in process of getting in really good shape as I hope it will help make my next pregnancy better/easier.

Right now hubby is loosing his job in spring/summer and we are listing our house in spring so those are two potential big stressors I know I dont want to deal with while prengant so we are just waiting to see how things go.

I dont have a special time in mind right now but I am thinking that trying again around same time (mar-May) is a good idea since it avoids my sickest times but it wont be this spring. However my peri also mentioned it can be good if you think you are going to get sick to do so when baby small so it doesnt compromis yoru lungs for me this was not an issue last time so I think I will stick with my plan but who knows maybe this time next year we will be ready. Since we will be doing FET it may take us a while so I am not set on a certain time. I do think it would be nice to get pregnant so that the season of my mat clothes is still about right LOL

All that being said my health is pretty good right now even with a new child. But I am 28 so in 'cf' years that is what about 45 LOL and hubby is closing in on 40 so we do not want to wait a *long* time. If it was up to DH I would have been pregnant 7 weeks post partum but now he is singing a different tune so we are both ok with the wait and see how things go method for now.

mom2lillian · Dec 27, 2007

well sounds like you are in the same boat I was about 6 months ago! I was itching for one but I held out my better judgement and now I am glad.

Studies have shown that 12-15 months is the optimal time between pregnancies to reduce risk of complications (from having them too close). My peri said that with an additional illness you might want to wait the 15 months.

Since I work full time I think it makes a big difference in that I want them to be a bit further apart, if I was staying home I wouldnt mind having them closer together and would probably start trying asap after weaning. Lillian still wakes up 2x a night and is NOT ready to wean so that is a big factor.

Also I had a hard pregnancy so if I were to get pregnant and still have her not sleeping well.....not good. I am also in process of getting in really good shape as I hope it will help make my next pregnancy better/easier.

Right now hubby is loosing his job in spring/summer and we are listing our house in spring so those are two potential big stressors I know I dont want to deal with while prengant so we are just waiting to see how things go.

I dont have a special time in mind right now but I am thinking that trying again around same time (mar-May) is a good idea since it avoids my sickest times but it wont be this spring. However my peri also mentioned it can be good if you think you are going to get sick to do so when baby small so it doesnt compromis yoru lungs for me this was not an issue last time so I think I will stick with my plan but who knows maybe this time next year we will be ready. Since we will be doing FET it may take us a while so I am not set on a certain time. I do think it would be nice to get pregnant so that the season of my mat clothes is still about right LOL

All that being said my health is pretty good right now even with a new child. But I am 28 so in 'cf' years that is what about 45 LOL and hubby is closing in on 40 so we do not want to wait a *long* time. If it was up to DH I would have been pregnant 7 weeks post partum but now he is singing a different tune so we are both ok with the wait and see how things go method for now.

mom2lillian · Dec 27, 2007

well sounds like you are in the same boat I was about 6 months ago! I was itching for one but I held out my better judgement and now I am glad.

Studies have shown that 12-15 months is the optimal time between pregnancies to reduce risk of complications (from having them too close). My peri said that with an additional illness you might want to wait the 15 months.

Since I work full time I think it makes a big difference in that I want them to be a bit further apart, if I was staying home I wouldnt mind having them closer together and would probably start trying asap after weaning. Lillian still wakes up 2x a night and is NOT ready to wean so that is a big factor.

Also I had a hard pregnancy so if I were to get pregnant and still have her not sleeping well.....not good. I am also in process of getting in really good shape as I hope it will help make my next pregnancy better/easier.

Right now hubby is loosing his job in spring/summer and we are listing our house in spring so those are two potential big stressors I know I dont want to deal with while prengant so we are just waiting to see how things go.

I dont have a special time in mind right now but I am thinking that trying again around same time (mar-May) is a good idea since it avoids my sickest times but it wont be this spring. However my peri also mentioned it can be good if you think you are going to get sick to do so when baby small so it doesnt compromis yoru lungs for me this was not an issue last time so I think I will stick with my plan but who knows maybe this time next year we will be ready. Since we will be doing FET it may take us a while so I am not set on a certain time. I do think it would be nice to get pregnant so that the season of my mat clothes is still about right LOL

All that being said my health is pretty good right now even with a new child. But I am 28 so in 'cf' years that is what about 45 LOL and hubby is closing in on 40 so we do not want to wait a *long* time. If it was up to DH I would have been pregnant 7 weeks post partum but now he is singing a different tune so we are both ok with the wait and see how things go method for now.

mom2lillian · Dec 27, 2007

well sounds like you are in the same boat I was about 6 months ago! I was itching for one but I held out my better judgement and now I am glad.

Studies have shown that 12-15 months is the optimal time between pregnancies to reduce risk of complications (from having them too close). My peri said that with an additional illness you might want to wait the 15 months.

Since I work full time I think it makes a big difference in that I want them to be a bit further apart, if I was staying home I wouldnt mind having them closer together and would probably start trying asap after weaning. Lillian still wakes up 2x a night and is NOT ready to wean so that is a big factor.

Also I had a hard pregnancy so if I were to get pregnant and still have her not sleeping well.....not good. I am also in process of getting in really good shape as I hope it will help make my next pregnancy better/easier.

Right now hubby is loosing his job in spring/summer and we are listing our house in spring so those are two potential big stressors I know I dont want to deal with while prengant so we are just waiting to see how things go.

I dont have a special time in mind right now but I am thinking that trying again around same time (mar-May) is a good idea since it avoids my sickest times but it wont be this spring. However my peri also mentioned it can be good if you think you are going to get sick to do so when baby small so it doesnt compromis yoru lungs for me this was not an issue last time so I think I will stick with my plan but who knows maybe this time next year we will be ready. Since we will be doing FET it may take us a while so I am not set on a certain time. I do think it would be nice to get pregnant so that the season of my mat clothes is still about right LOL

All that being said my health is pretty good right now even with a new child. But I am 28 so in 'cf' years that is what about 45 LOL and hubby is closing in on 40 so we do not want to wait a *long* time. If it was up to DH I would have been pregnant 7 weeks post partum but now he is singing a different tune so we are both ok with the wait and see how things go method for now.

mom2lillian · Dec 27, 2007

well sounds like you are in the same boat I was about 6 months ago! I was itching for one but I held out my better judgement and now I am glad.

Studies have shown that 12-15 months is the optimal time between pregnancies to reduce risk of complications (from having them too close). My peri said that with an additional illness you might want to wait the 15 months.

Since I work full time I think it makes a big difference in that I want them to be a bit further apart, if I was staying home I wouldnt mind having them closer together and would probably start trying asap after weaning. Lillian still wakes up 2x a night and is NOT ready to wean so that is a big factor.

Also I had a hard pregnancy so if I were to get pregnant and still have her not sleeping well.....not good. I am also in process of getting in really good shape as I hope it will help make my next pregnancy better/easier.

Right now hubby is loosing his job in spring/summer and we are listing our house in spring so those are two potential big stressors I know I dont want to deal with while prengant so we are just waiting to see how things go.

I dont have a special time in mind right now but I am thinking that trying again around same time (mar-May) is a good idea since it avoids my sickest times but it wont be this spring. However my peri also mentioned it can be good if you think you are going to get sick to do so when baby small so it doesnt compromis yoru lungs for me this was not an issue last time so I think I will stick with my plan but who knows maybe this time next year we will be ready. Since we will be doing FET it may take us a while so I am not set on a certain time. I do think it would be nice to get pregnant so that the season of my mat clothes is still about right LOL

All that being said my health is pretty good right now even with a new child. But I am 28 so in 'cf' years that is what about 45 LOL and hubby is closing in on 40 so we do not want to wait a *long* time. If it was up to DH I would have been pregnant 7 weeks post partum but now he is singing a different tune so we are both ok with the wait and see how things go method for now.

Scarlett81 · Dec 27, 2007

oh no, jenny I didn't take it the wrong way. I'm open to all thoughts on this. In fact I wanted to add that I'm not only interested in hearing from moms that decided to go for a 2nd baby, but moms that didn't go for it. Also from moms that had a first baby biologically and had the second by adoption...or vice versa.
the only thing is, let downs and disappointments can happen with anything. it doesn't mean we just decide not to try something. we would never do anything if we gave into the fact that we may be disappointed.<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

I don't know if I was really clear on it, but what I was trying to say was that before I had my LO, I had this 'plan' in mind-but now that I have her...I don't feel the same way. Meaning, I want to enjoy the time I have with Vienna now and I don't want to rush it.
If I spaced my kids 2 yrs apart which is what I originally wanted, I feel like by the time I'd feel fully recovered from having the first one-it would be time to start trying for the 2nd! Its too fast for me.
And I also realize that I got very lucky getting preg right away. The saying-you plan and God laughs. Very true. But we still have to plan things out to a degree obviously.

Caroline-I totally get what you meant about wanting to take of the LO you have here and now, and not worry about child/children that aren't even here yet. Thats how I feel too. I also feel a responsibility to care for my daughter-and not risk losing what I have.

This is such a great discussion. Its not talked about alot, so I thought there'd be alot of people thinking of it, as we have alot of new first time moms right now.

Scarlett81 · Dec 27, 2007

oh no, jenny I didn't take it the wrong way. I'm open to all thoughts on this. In fact I wanted to add that I'm not only interested in hearing from moms that decided to go for a 2nd baby, but moms that didn't go for it. Also from moms that had a first baby biologically and had the second by adoption...or vice versa.
the only thing is, let downs and disappointments can happen with anything. it doesn't mean we just decide not to try something. we would never do anything if we gave into the fact that we may be disappointed.<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

I don't know if I was really clear on it, but what I was trying to say was that before I had my LO, I had this 'plan' in mind-but now that I have her...I don't feel the same way. Meaning, I want to enjoy the time I have with Vienna now and I don't want to rush it.
If I spaced my kids 2 yrs apart which is what I originally wanted, I feel like by the time I'd feel fully recovered from having the first one-it would be time to start trying for the 2nd! Its too fast for me.
And I also realize that I got very lucky getting preg right away. The saying-you plan and God laughs. Very true. But we still have to plan things out to a degree obviously.

Caroline-I totally get what you meant about wanting to take of the LO you have here and now, and not worry about child/children that aren't even here yet. Thats how I feel too. I also feel a responsibility to care for my daughter-and not risk losing what I have.

This is such a great discussion. Its not talked about alot, so I thought there'd be alot of people thinking of it, as we have alot of new first time moms right now.

Scarlett81 · Dec 27, 2007

oh no, jenny I didn't take it the wrong way. I'm open to all thoughts on this. In fact I wanted to add that I'm not only interested in hearing from moms that decided to go for a 2nd baby, but moms that didn't go for it. Also from moms that had a first baby biologically and had the second by adoption...or vice versa.
the only thing is, let downs and disappointments can happen with anything. it doesn't mean we just decide not to try something. we would never do anything if we gave into the fact that we may be disappointed.<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

I don't know if I was really clear on it, but what I was trying to say was that before I had my LO, I had this 'plan' in mind-but now that I have her...I don't feel the same way. Meaning, I want to enjoy the time I have with Vienna now and I don't want to rush it.
If I spaced my kids 2 yrs apart which is what I originally wanted, I feel like by the time I'd feel fully recovered from having the first one-it would be time to start trying for the 2nd! Its too fast for me.
And I also realize that I got very lucky getting preg right away. The saying-you plan and God laughs. Very true. But we still have to plan things out to a degree obviously.

Caroline-I totally get what you meant about wanting to take of the LO you have here and now, and not worry about child/children that aren't even here yet. Thats how I feel too. I also feel a responsibility to care for my daughter-and not risk losing what I have.

This is such a great discussion. Its not talked about alot, so I thought there'd be alot of people thinking of it, as we have alot of new first time moms right now.

Scarlett81 · Dec 27, 2007

oh no, jenny I didn't take it the wrong way. I'm open to all thoughts on this. In fact I wanted to add that I'm not only interested in hearing from moms that decided to go for a 2nd baby, but moms that didn't go for it. Also from moms that had a first baby biologically and had the second by adoption...or vice versa.
the only thing is, let downs and disappointments can happen with anything. it doesn't mean we just decide not to try something. we would never do anything if we gave into the fact that we may be disappointed.<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

I don't know if I was really clear on it, but what I was trying to say was that before I had my LO, I had this 'plan' in mind-but now that I have her...I don't feel the same way. Meaning, I want to enjoy the time I have with Vienna now and I don't want to rush it.
If I spaced my kids 2 yrs apart which is what I originally wanted, I feel like by the time I'd feel fully recovered from having the first one-it would be time to start trying for the 2nd! Its too fast for me.
And I also realize that I got very lucky getting preg right away. The saying-you plan and God laughs. Very true. But we still have to plan things out to a degree obviously.

Caroline-I totally get what you meant about wanting to take of the LO you have here and now, and not worry about child/children that aren't even here yet. Thats how I feel too. I also feel a responsibility to care for my daughter-and not risk losing what I have.

This is such a great discussion. Its not talked about alot, so I thought there'd be alot of people thinking of it, as we have alot of new first time moms right now.

Scarlett81 · Dec 27, 2007

oh no, jenny I didn't take it the wrong way. I'm open to all thoughts on this. In fact I wanted to add that I'm not only interested in hearing from moms that decided to go for a 2nd baby, but moms that didn't go for it. Also from moms that had a first baby biologically and had the second by adoption...or vice versa.
the only thing is, let downs and disappointments can happen with anything. it doesn't mean we just decide not to try something. we would never do anything if we gave into the fact that we may be disappointed.<img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">

I don't know if I was really clear on it, but what I was trying to say was that before I had my LO, I had this 'plan' in mind-but now that I have her...I don't feel the same way. Meaning, I want to enjoy the time I have with Vienna now and I don't want to rush it.
If I spaced my kids 2 yrs apart which is what I originally wanted, I feel like by the time I'd feel fully recovered from having the first one-it would be time to start trying for the 2nd! Its too fast for me.
And I also realize that I got very lucky getting preg right away. The saying-you plan and God laughs. Very true. But we still have to plan things out to a degree obviously.

Caroline-I totally get what you meant about wanting to take of the LO you have here and now, and not worry about child/children that aren't even here yet. Thats how I feel too. I also feel a responsibility to care for my daughter-and not risk losing what I have.

This is such a great discussion. Its not talked about alot, so I thought there'd be alot of people thinking of it, as we have alot of new first time moms right now.

Scarlett81 · Dec 27, 2007