Going for the 2nd baby

[hopesiris]

This is on my mind a lot too. Amelia turned 3 months yesterday. To start with, I wanted to have two children before I found out I had CF this year. Now that I have been diagnosed, there are two important considerations.

1. My health is great still, I have zero lung damage and my PFT's are in the 80's. My doctor made it clear that I need to stay this way for as long as possible. Another pregnancy is not likely to do any damage to my health but the stress of caring for two children might.

2. We have a 50% chance of conceiving a CF baby so we want to do IVF and PGD. These procedures have risks, are very expensive and require some time where DH would have to miss work (not always possible).

So it comes down to the amount of work involved in raising children and having enough money. Right now I am struggling with one, so I'm feeling insecure about my ability to handle two. My heart wants Amelia to have a sibling and my husband to have a son, but I am very concerned that it may be too much for me to handle. I'm really torn and don't know what the right decision is. I worry that it would be unfair to Amelia to have to share my attention, especially if my health takes a turn for the worse and I require more treatment.

I'm glad you posted about this, I am so confused.

 

[hopesiris]

This is on my mind a lot too. Amelia turned 3 months yesterday. To start with, I wanted to have two children before I found out I had CF this year. Now that I have been diagnosed, there are two important considerations.

1. My health is great still, I have zero lung damage and my PFT's are in the 80's. My doctor made it clear that I need to stay this way for as long as possible. Another pregnancy is not likely to do any damage to my health but the stress of caring for two children might.

2. We have a 50% chance of conceiving a CF baby so we want to do IVF and PGD. These procedures have risks, are very expensive and require some time where DH would have to miss work (not always possible).

So it comes down to the amount of work involved in raising children and having enough money. Right now I am struggling with one, so I'm feeling insecure about my ability to handle two. My heart wants Amelia to have a sibling and my husband to have a son, but I am very concerned that it may be too much for me to handle. I'm really torn and don't know what the right decision is. I worry that it would be unfair to Amelia to have to share my attention, especially if my health takes a turn for the worse and I require more treatment.

I'm glad you posted about this, I am so confused.

 

[hopesiris]

This is on my mind a lot too. Amelia turned 3 months yesterday. To start with, I wanted to have two children before I found out I had CF this year. Now that I have been diagnosed, there are two important considerations.

1. My health is great still, I have zero lung damage and my PFT's are in the 80's. My doctor made it clear that I need to stay this way for as long as possible. Another pregnancy is not likely to do any damage to my health but the stress of caring for two children might.

2. We have a 50% chance of conceiving a CF baby so we want to do IVF and PGD. These procedures have risks, are very expensive and require some time where DH would have to miss work (not always possible).

So it comes down to the amount of work involved in raising children and having enough money. Right now I am struggling with one, so I'm feeling insecure about my ability to handle two. My heart wants Amelia to have a sibling and my husband to have a son, but I am very concerned that it may be too much for me to handle. I'm really torn and don't know what the right decision is. I worry that it would be unfair to Amelia to have to share my attention, especially if my health takes a turn for the worse and I require more treatment.

I'm glad you posted about this, I am so confused.

 

[hopesiris]

This is on my mind a lot too. Amelia turned 3 months yesterday. To start with, I wanted to have two children before I found out I had CF this year. Now that I have been diagnosed, there are two important considerations.

1. My health is great still, I have zero lung damage and my PFT's are in the 80's. My doctor made it clear that I need to stay this way for as long as possible. Another pregnancy is not likely to do any damage to my health but the stress of caring for two children might.

2. We have a 50% chance of conceiving a CF baby so we want to do IVF and PGD. These procedures have risks, are very expensive and require some time where DH would have to miss work (not always possible).

So it comes down to the amount of work involved in raising children and having enough money. Right now I am struggling with one, so I'm feeling insecure about my ability to handle two. My heart wants Amelia to have a sibling and my husband to have a son, but I am very concerned that it may be too much for me to handle. I'm really torn and don't know what the right decision is. I worry that it would be unfair to Amelia to have to share my attention, especially if my health takes a turn for the worse and I require more treatment.

I'm glad you posted about this, I am so confused.

 

[hopesiris]

This is on my mind a lot too. Amelia turned 3 months yesterday. To start with, I wanted to have two children before I found out I had CF this year. Now that I have been diagnosed, there are two important considerations.

1. My health is great still, I have zero lung damage and my PFT's are in the 80's. My doctor made it clear that I need to stay this way for as long as possible. Another pregnancy is not likely to do any damage to my health but the stress of caring for two children might.

2. We have a 50% chance of conceiving a CF baby so we want to do IVF and PGD. These procedures have risks, are very expensive and require some time where DH would have to miss work (not always possible).

So it comes down to the amount of work involved in raising children and having enough money. Right now I am struggling with one, so I'm feeling insecure about my ability to handle two. My heart wants Amelia to have a sibling and my husband to have a son, but I am very concerned that it may be too much for me to handle. I'm really torn and don't know what the right decision is. I worry that it would be unfair to Amelia to have to share my attention, especially if my health takes a turn for the worse and I require more treatment.

I'm glad you posted about this, I am so confused.

 

[Keepercjr]

I think having a rough plan is always a good idea but you have to have the expectation that it will change as time goes on.

Nicole - When we started trying, my old maternity clothes (and what I've bought in anticipation since Logan) would have gotten me through. But now all my old maternity jeans will only get me through a few months. I don't even expect to wear any of my old long sleeved shirts. Luckily I've been collecting spring and summer wear just in case (I'm a clearance shopping queen). You just never know what will happen <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Bonnie - Amelia is still very young and you are still overwhelmed with motherhood. When Logan was little having #2 was about as far away from my thoughts as anything could get. I knew it would be in my future plans but I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just concentrating on baby and me. As she grows and changes you will better be able to judge if you could handle 2 or not. I believe the safest time between pregnancies for women who have had c-sections is 18 months. So if I were in your shoes and needed to do what you need to do to get pregnant again, I'd reassess after she turns a year old. I honestly wouldn't worry about right now. Just enjoy your baby. I started getting baby fever around when Logan turned 2 but I wasn't ready at that point.

 

[Keepercjr]

I think having a rough plan is always a good idea but you have to have the expectation that it will change as time goes on.

Nicole - When we started trying, my old maternity clothes (and what I've bought in anticipation since Logan) would have gotten me through. But now all my old maternity jeans will only get me through a few months. I don't even expect to wear any of my old long sleeved shirts. Luckily I've been collecting spring and summer wear just in case (I'm a clearance shopping queen). You just never know what will happen <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Bonnie - Amelia is still very young and you are still overwhelmed with motherhood. When Logan was little having #2 was about as far away from my thoughts as anything could get. I knew it would be in my future plans but I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just concentrating on baby and me. As she grows and changes you will better be able to judge if you could handle 2 or not. I believe the safest time between pregnancies for women who have had c-sections is 18 months. So if I were in your shoes and needed to do what you need to do to get pregnant again, I'd reassess after she turns a year old. I honestly wouldn't worry about right now. Just enjoy your baby. I started getting baby fever around when Logan turned 2 but I wasn't ready at that point.

 

[Keepercjr]

I think having a rough plan is always a good idea but you have to have the expectation that it will change as time goes on.

Nicole - When we started trying, my old maternity clothes (and what I've bought in anticipation since Logan) would have gotten me through. But now all my old maternity jeans will only get me through a few months. I don't even expect to wear any of my old long sleeved shirts. Luckily I've been collecting spring and summer wear just in case (I'm a clearance shopping queen). You just never know what will happen <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Bonnie - Amelia is still very young and you are still overwhelmed with motherhood. When Logan was little having #2 was about as far away from my thoughts as anything could get. I knew it would be in my future plans but I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just concentrating on baby and me. As she grows and changes you will better be able to judge if you could handle 2 or not. I believe the safest time between pregnancies for women who have had c-sections is 18 months. So if I were in your shoes and needed to do what you need to do to get pregnant again, I'd reassess after she turns a year old. I honestly wouldn't worry about right now. Just enjoy your baby. I started getting baby fever around when Logan turned 2 but I wasn't ready at that point.

 

[Keepercjr]

I think having a rough plan is always a good idea but you have to have the expectation that it will change as time goes on.

Nicole - When we started trying, my old maternity clothes (and what I've bought in anticipation since Logan) would have gotten me through. But now all my old maternity jeans will only get me through a few months. I don't even expect to wear any of my old long sleeved shirts. Luckily I've been collecting spring and summer wear just in case (I'm a clearance shopping queen). You just never know what will happen <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Bonnie - Amelia is still very young and you are still overwhelmed with motherhood. When Logan was little having #2 was about as far away from my thoughts as anything could get. I knew it would be in my future plans but I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just concentrating on baby and me. As she grows and changes you will better be able to judge if you could handle 2 or not. I believe the safest time between pregnancies for women who have had c-sections is 18 months. So if I were in your shoes and needed to do what you need to do to get pregnant again, I'd reassess after she turns a year old. I honestly wouldn't worry about right now. Just enjoy your baby. I started getting baby fever around when Logan turned 2 but I wasn't ready at that point.

 

[Keepercjr]

I think having a rough plan is always a good idea but you have to have the expectation that it will change as time goes on.

Nicole - When we started trying, my old maternity clothes (and what I've bought in anticipation since Logan) would have gotten me through. But now all my old maternity jeans will only get me through a few months. I don't even expect to wear any of my old long sleeved shirts. Luckily I've been collecting spring and summer wear just in case (I'm a clearance shopping queen). You just never know what will happen <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Bonnie - Amelia is still very young and you are still overwhelmed with motherhood. When Logan was little having #2 was about as far away from my thoughts as anything could get. I knew it would be in my future plans but I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just concentrating on baby and me. As she grows and changes you will better be able to judge if you could handle 2 or not. I believe the safest time between pregnancies for women who have had c-sections is 18 months. So if I were in your shoes and needed to do what you need to do to get pregnant again, I'd reassess after she turns a year old. I honestly wouldn't worry about right now. Just enjoy your baby. I started getting baby fever around when Logan turned 2 but I wasn't ready at that point.

 

[mom2lillian]

Christian-Lillian just turned one last week <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We do quite well here, we have our routine, everything is easier and we really enjoy being parents. There are days is seems we cant get everything done but for the most part we are coasting and having a really good time, I just am not ready to change that----Even though DH and I would both like to have our kids close together. In my family it has went both ways so I liked seeing that, there was: me-->5years-->sister-->5 years-->brother-->14mo-->brother#2-->3 years-->sister#3. I think 5 years is too far apart to have them be really close (just my opinion, unless they were homeschooled perhaps). But I think less than 2 years apart is a recipe for insanity IMHO!

my brothers are very close and have same friends etc etc so that is nice but I think it would be nice that Lillian is able to understand abit when #2 comes and be out of diapers, weaned etc. In my perfect world I would have them 4 years apart but somehow they would only be about 1-2 years apart LOL. Anyway also to mention my sister followed in family footsteps (gma had kdis 16mo apart, mom had kids 14 mo apart, sister had kids 14mo apart) and although they play pretty well together it was rough on her and they are just far enough apart that they want to play with same toys but it is hard because the older one needs a bit more challenge then the younger one will have a melt down wanting her to get away because she is truly messing everythign up thus preventing him from doing what it was meant to do etc.

I have had this conversation with many other mothers and no matter which way you play it there are LOTS advantages and disadvantages and generally whatever way the person did it is what they think is the best --- of course LOL

 

[mom2lillian]

Christian-Lillian just turned one last week <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We do quite well here, we have our routine, everything is easier and we really enjoy being parents. There are days is seems we cant get everything done but for the most part we are coasting and having a really good time, I just am not ready to change that----Even though DH and I would both like to have our kids close together. In my family it has went both ways so I liked seeing that, there was: me-->5years-->sister-->5 years-->brother-->14mo-->brother#2-->3 years-->sister#3. I think 5 years is too far apart to have them be really close (just my opinion, unless they were homeschooled perhaps). But I think less than 2 years apart is a recipe for insanity IMHO!

my brothers are very close and have same friends etc etc so that is nice but I think it would be nice that Lillian is able to understand abit when #2 comes and be out of diapers, weaned etc. In my perfect world I would have them 4 years apart but somehow they would only be about 1-2 years apart LOL. Anyway also to mention my sister followed in family footsteps (gma had kdis 16mo apart, mom had kids 14 mo apart, sister had kids 14mo apart) and although they play pretty well together it was rough on her and they are just far enough apart that they want to play with same toys but it is hard because the older one needs a bit more challenge then the younger one will have a melt down wanting her to get away because she is truly messing everythign up thus preventing him from doing what it was meant to do etc.

I have had this conversation with many other mothers and no matter which way you play it there are LOTS advantages and disadvantages and generally whatever way the person did it is what they think is the best --- of course LOL

 

[mom2lillian]

Christian-Lillian just turned one last week <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We do quite well here, we have our routine, everything is easier and we really enjoy being parents. There are days is seems we cant get everything done but for the most part we are coasting and having a really good time, I just am not ready to change that----Even though DH and I would both like to have our kids close together. In my family it has went both ways so I liked seeing that, there was: me-->5years-->sister-->5 years-->brother-->14mo-->brother#2-->3 years-->sister#3. I think 5 years is too far apart to have them be really close (just my opinion, unless they were homeschooled perhaps). But I think less than 2 years apart is a recipe for insanity IMHO!

my brothers are very close and have same friends etc etc so that is nice but I think it would be nice that Lillian is able to understand abit when #2 comes and be out of diapers, weaned etc. In my perfect world I would have them 4 years apart but somehow they would only be about 1-2 years apart LOL. Anyway also to mention my sister followed in family footsteps (gma had kdis 16mo apart, mom had kids 14 mo apart, sister had kids 14mo apart) and although they play pretty well together it was rough on her and they are just far enough apart that they want to play with same toys but it is hard because the older one needs a bit more challenge then the younger one will have a melt down wanting her to get away because she is truly messing everythign up thus preventing him from doing what it was meant to do etc.

I have had this conversation with many other mothers and no matter which way you play it there are LOTS advantages and disadvantages and generally whatever way the person did it is what they think is the best --- of course LOL

 

[mom2lillian]

Christian-Lillian just turned one last week <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We do quite well here, we have our routine, everything is easier and we really enjoy being parents. There are days is seems we cant get everything done but for the most part we are coasting and having a really good time, I just am not ready to change that----Even though DH and I would both like to have our kids close together. In my family it has went both ways so I liked seeing that, there was: me-->5years-->sister-->5 years-->brother-->14mo-->brother#2-->3 years-->sister#3. I think 5 years is too far apart to have them be really close (just my opinion, unless they were homeschooled perhaps). But I think less than 2 years apart is a recipe for insanity IMHO!

my brothers are very close and have same friends etc etc so that is nice but I think it would be nice that Lillian is able to understand abit when #2 comes and be out of diapers, weaned etc. In my perfect world I would have them 4 years apart but somehow they would only be about 1-2 years apart LOL. Anyway also to mention my sister followed in family footsteps (gma had kdis 16mo apart, mom had kids 14 mo apart, sister had kids 14mo apart) and although they play pretty well together it was rough on her and they are just far enough apart that they want to play with same toys but it is hard because the older one needs a bit more challenge then the younger one will have a melt down wanting her to get away because she is truly messing everythign up thus preventing him from doing what it was meant to do etc.

I have had this conversation with many other mothers and no matter which way you play it there are LOTS advantages and disadvantages and generally whatever way the person did it is what they think is the best --- of course LOL

 

[mom2lillian]

Christian-Lillian just turned one last week <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">

We do quite well here, we have our routine, everything is easier and we really enjoy being parents. There are days is seems we cant get everything done but for the most part we are coasting and having a really good time, I just am not ready to change that----Even though DH and I would both like to have our kids close together. In my family it has went both ways so I liked seeing that, there was: me-->5years-->sister-->5 years-->brother-->14mo-->brother#2-->3 years-->sister#3. I think 5 years is too far apart to have them be really close (just my opinion, unless they were homeschooled perhaps). But I think less than 2 years apart is a recipe for insanity IMHO!

my brothers are very close and have same friends etc etc so that is nice but I think it would be nice that Lillian is able to understand abit when #2 comes and be out of diapers, weaned etc. In my perfect world I would have them 4 years apart but somehow they would only be about 1-2 years apart LOL. Anyway also to mention my sister followed in family footsteps (gma had kdis 16mo apart, mom had kids 14 mo apart, sister had kids 14mo apart) and although they play pretty well together it was rough on her and they are just far enough apart that they want to play with same toys but it is hard because the older one needs a bit more challenge then the younger one will have a melt down wanting her to get away because she is truly messing everythign up thus preventing him from doing what it was meant to do etc.

I have had this conversation with many other mothers and no matter which way you play it there are LOTS advantages and disadvantages and generally whatever way the person did it is what they think is the best --- of course LOL

 

[ashleydog]

Funny that this is the topic you posted on, since having another baby is the whole reason I started looking at this board. My son wil be 1 in 2 weeks. It took me 2 years including 8 months of IUI's to get pregnant with him. When I went for my post partum appt. the dr I saw was not one I had met before, I think he is the oldest in the practice. He came in and told me how excited he was to meet me,l that when they discuss all the patients ( I go to a MFM group) he was very impressed how well I did with the pregnancy. He said wait at least six months for another, but of course he is not a CF doc. When I told my CF dr we were going to try for a second one, He laughed and said " I was going to ask you about that, but was afraid of the answer" He is supportive, but gets fustrated when I limit his treatment options with pregnancy and breastfeeding restrictions. Fortunately I was very healthy during pregnancy, I know that doesn't mean I will definitly be that way next time, but I am not worried. My friends without CF have had every complication possible with pregnacy between them, so I just try to make sure I am healthy enough to handle it.
I do worry about having the energy for more than one when I am sick, so I have had to think about who can help me if I need it. I think I have enough friends who would help out if I were sick, at least in the short term.
I think anyone worries about the energy and divided attention that comes with more children. I know it is a personal decision for everyone.
I wish you the best whatever you decide <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[ashleydog]

Funny that this is the topic you posted on, since having another baby is the whole reason I started looking at this board. My son wil be 1 in 2 weeks. It took me 2 years including 8 months of IUI's to get pregnant with him. When I went for my post partum appt. the dr I saw was not one I had met before, I think he is the oldest in the practice. He came in and told me how excited he was to meet me,l that when they discuss all the patients ( I go to a MFM group) he was very impressed how well I did with the pregnancy. He said wait at least six months for another, but of course he is not a CF doc. When I told my CF dr we were going to try for a second one, He laughed and said " I was going to ask you about that, but was afraid of the answer" He is supportive, but gets fustrated when I limit his treatment options with pregnancy and breastfeeding restrictions. Fortunately I was very healthy during pregnancy, I know that doesn't mean I will definitly be that way next time, but I am not worried. My friends without CF have had every complication possible with pregnacy between them, so I just try to make sure I am healthy enough to handle it.
I do worry about having the energy for more than one when I am sick, so I have had to think about who can help me if I need it. I think I have enough friends who would help out if I were sick, at least in the short term.
I think anyone worries about the energy and divided attention that comes with more children. I know it is a personal decision for everyone.
I wish you the best whatever you decide <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[ashleydog]

Funny that this is the topic you posted on, since having another baby is the whole reason I started looking at this board. My son wil be 1 in 2 weeks. It took me 2 years including 8 months of IUI's to get pregnant with him. When I went for my post partum appt. the dr I saw was not one I had met before, I think he is the oldest in the practice. He came in and told me how excited he was to meet me,l that when they discuss all the patients ( I go to a MFM group) he was very impressed how well I did with the pregnancy. He said wait at least six months for another, but of course he is not a CF doc. When I told my CF dr we were going to try for a second one, He laughed and said " I was going to ask you about that, but was afraid of the answer" He is supportive, but gets fustrated when I limit his treatment options with pregnancy and breastfeeding restrictions. Fortunately I was very healthy during pregnancy, I know that doesn't mean I will definitly be that way next time, but I am not worried. My friends without CF have had every complication possible with pregnacy between them, so I just try to make sure I am healthy enough to handle it.
I do worry about having the energy for more than one when I am sick, so I have had to think about who can help me if I need it. I think I have enough friends who would help out if I were sick, at least in the short term.
I think anyone worries about the energy and divided attention that comes with more children. I know it is a personal decision for everyone.
I wish you the best whatever you decide <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[ashleydog]

Funny that this is the topic you posted on, since having another baby is the whole reason I started looking at this board. My son wil be 1 in 2 weeks. It took me 2 years including 8 months of IUI's to get pregnant with him. When I went for my post partum appt. the dr I saw was not one I had met before, I think he is the oldest in the practice. He came in and told me how excited he was to meet me,l that when they discuss all the patients ( I go to a MFM group) he was very impressed how well I did with the pregnancy. He said wait at least six months for another, but of course he is not a CF doc. When I told my CF dr we were going to try for a second one, He laughed and said " I was going to ask you about that, but was afraid of the answer" He is supportive, but gets fustrated when I limit his treatment options with pregnancy and breastfeeding restrictions. Fortunately I was very healthy during pregnancy, I know that doesn't mean I will definitly be that way next time, but I am not worried. My friends without CF have had every complication possible with pregnacy between them, so I just try to make sure I am healthy enough to handle it.
I do worry about having the energy for more than one when I am sick, so I have had to think about who can help me if I need it. I think I have enough friends who would help out if I were sick, at least in the short term.
I think anyone worries about the energy and divided attention that comes with more children. I know it is a personal decision for everyone.
I wish you the best whatever you decide <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

 

[ashleydog]

Funny that this is the topic you posted on, since having another baby is the whole reason I started looking at this board. My son wil be 1 in 2 weeks. It took me 2 years including 8 months of IUI's to get pregnant with him. When I went for my post partum appt. the dr I saw was not one I had met before, I think he is the oldest in the practice. He came in and told me how excited he was to meet me,l that when they discuss all the patients ( I go to a MFM group) he was very impressed how well I did with the pregnancy. He said wait at least six months for another, but of course he is not a CF doc. When I told my CF dr we were going to try for a second one, He laughed and said " I was going to ask you about that, but was afraid of the answer" He is supportive, but gets fustrated when I limit his treatment options with pregnancy and breastfeeding restrictions. Fortunately I was very healthy during pregnancy, I know that doesn't mean I will definitly be that way next time, but I am not worried. My friends without CF have had every complication possible with pregnacy between them, so I just try to make sure I am healthy enough to handle it.
I do worry about having the energy for more than one when I am sick, so I have had to think about who can help me if I need it. I think I have enough friends who would help out if I were sick, at least in the short term.
I think anyone worries about the energy and divided attention that comes with more children. I know it is a personal decision for everyone.
I wish you the best whatever you decide <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">