Grandparent wanna-be

just1more · Sep 9, 2008

I guess my first thought is have you considered that being a father (or grandmother) does NOT require your son to be fertile?

There are thousands of opportunities to adopt & love a child, one that otherwise will live without parents. They come in all sizes, shapes, colors and both healthy & with special needs.

I can't say that adoption is for everyone, but I think it is a shame that as a society we tend to consider it somehow 'less' than biological children. How can I explain this to my kids: both the adopted and bio ones?

If your son wants to be a father, and his wife is prepared to parent once he is gone; then by all means pursue any options available to be one. But please while discussing options, include adoption as it is one of the greatests gifts anyone can give.

just1more · Sep 9, 2008

I guess my first thought is have you considered that being a father (or grandmother) does NOT require your son to be fertile?

There are thousands of opportunities to adopt & love a child, one that otherwise will live without parents. They come in all sizes, shapes, colors and both healthy & with special needs.

I can't say that adoption is for everyone, but I think it is a shame that as a society we tend to consider it somehow 'less' than biological children. How can I explain this to my kids: both the adopted and bio ones?

If your son wants to be a father, and his wife is prepared to parent once he is gone; then by all means pursue any options available to be one. But please while discussing options, include adoption as it is one of the greatests gifts anyone can give.

just1more · Sep 9, 2008

I guess my first thought is have you considered that being a father (or grandmother) does NOT require your son to be fertile?

There are thousands of opportunities to adopt & love a child, one that otherwise will live without parents. They come in all sizes, shapes, colors and both healthy & with special needs.

I can't say that adoption is for everyone, but I think it is a shame that as a society we tend to consider it somehow 'less' than biological children. How can I explain this to my kids: both the adopted and bio ones?

If your son wants to be a father, and his wife is prepared to parent once he is gone; then by all means pursue any options available to be one. But please while discussing options, include adoption as it is one of the greatests gifts anyone can give.

just1more · Sep 9, 2008

I guess my first thought is have you considered that being a father (or grandmother) does NOT require your son to be fertile?

There are thousands of opportunities to adopt & love a child, one that otherwise will live without parents. They come in all sizes, shapes, colors and both healthy & with special needs.

I can't say that adoption is for everyone, but I think it is a shame that as a society we tend to consider it somehow 'less' than biological children. How can I explain this to my kids: both the adopted and bio ones?

If your son wants to be a father, and his wife is prepared to parent once he is gone; then by all means pursue any options available to be one. But please while discussing options, include adoption as it is one of the greatests gifts anyone can give.

just1more · Sep 9, 2008

I guess my first thought is have you considered that being a father (or grandmother) does NOT require your son to be fertile?
 
 There are thousands of opportunities to adopt & love a child, one that otherwise will live without parents. They come in all sizes, shapes, colors and both healthy & with special needs.
 
 I can't say that adoption is for everyone, but I think it is a shame that as a society we tend to consider it somehow 'less' than biological children. How can I explain this to my kids: both the adopted and bio ones?
 
 If your son wants to be a father, and his wife is prepared to parent once he is gone; then by all means pursue any options available to be one. But please while discussing options, include adoption as it is one of the greatests gifts anyone can give.

jlmortenson · Sep 11, 2008

Thank you all for your responses. I know you are right about so many things. I can't imagine not ever having had my son; he is so wonderful!... and I know there is never ever any guarantees in life! So I plan to approach him with your thoughts on this subject. We have avoided it pretty much to this point, but his fiance has said that she is leaving it up to him to make the kids/ no kids decision. So... I will let him know that his dad and I will support them any way we can, with any decision they might make.

jlmortenson · Sep 11, 2008

Thank you all for your responses. I know you are right about so many things. I can't imagine not ever having had my son; he is so wonderful!... and I know there is never ever any guarantees in life! So I plan to approach him with your thoughts on this subject. We have avoided it pretty much to this point, but his fiance has said that she is leaving it up to him to make the kids/ no kids decision. So... I will let him know that his dad and I will support them any way we can, with any decision they might make.

jlmortenson · Sep 11, 2008

Thank you all for your responses. I know you are right about so many things. I can't imagine not ever having had my son; he is so wonderful!... and I know there is never ever any guarantees in life! So I plan to approach him with your thoughts on this subject. We have avoided it pretty much to this point, but his fiance has said that she is leaving it up to him to make the kids/ no kids decision. So... I will let him know that his dad and I will support them any way we can, with any decision they might make.

jlmortenson · Sep 11, 2008

Thank you all for your responses. I know you are right about so many things. I can't imagine not ever having had my son; he is so wonderful!... and I know there is never ever any guarantees in life! So I plan to approach him with your thoughts on this subject. We have avoided it pretty much to this point, but his fiance has said that she is leaving it up to him to make the kids/ no kids decision. So... I will let him know that his dad and I will support them any way we can, with any decision they might make.

jlmortenson · Sep 11, 2008

Thank you all for your responses. I know you are right about so many things. I can't imagine not ever having had my son; he is so wonderful!... and I know there is never ever any guarantees in life! So I plan to approach him with your thoughts on this subject. We have avoided it pretty much to this point, but his fiance has said that she is leaving it up to him to make the kids/ no kids decision. So... I will let him know that his dad and I will support them any way we can, with any decision they might make.

blackchameleon · Feb 10, 2009

just thought id throw my thoughts in.i have cf and my wife and i knew i was sterile and planned for a no kids life!! a medical procedure enabled my sperm to be extracted from my testicle, then one sperm was injected into each egg harvested from my wife. my wife was tested for being a cf carrier first and was clear so we knew our children would be free from cf but be a carrier only. my health then was pretty good and is the same now. im 38 soon and our boys are 11 and 9. i became very sick 8 years ago and thought we could have saved two boys alot of grief in seeing their father die if we never had them. i decided to really take cf on and do so much exercise and lung clearance now i am actually fitter than many of my mates. we have travelled to brazil, sri lanka and india with our boys and they have a wonderful life. i had a responsibility to my boys to keep fighting cf and show them the importance of being diligent. i dont think i would have done that without having their interests in mind. i very nearly lost all hope and gave up. as you can see they are a wonderful and beautiful part of my life. they are, like all children, extaordinary creations full of love and life!! even if i die suddenly they have a huge family support network behind them and will be ok. i think thats an important part of the decission process too. i will watch with interest what path they decide to take. cheers from Australia. Blacky

blackchameleon · Feb 10, 2009

just thought id throw my thoughts in.i have cf and my wife and i knew i was sterile and planned for a no kids life!! a medical procedure enabled my sperm to be extracted from my testicle, then one sperm was injected into each egg harvested from my wife. my wife was tested for being a cf carrier first and was clear so we knew our children would be free from cf but be a carrier only. my health then was pretty good and is the same now. im 38 soon and our boys are 11 and 9. i became very sick 8 years ago and thought we could have saved two boys alot of grief in seeing their father die if we never had them. i decided to really take cf on and do so much exercise and lung clearance now i am actually fitter than many of my mates. we have travelled to brazil, sri lanka and india with our boys and they have a wonderful life. i had a responsibility to my boys to keep fighting cf and show them the importance of being diligent. i dont think i would have done that without having their interests in mind. i very nearly lost all hope and gave up. as you can see they are a wonderful and beautiful part of my life. they are, like all children, extaordinary creations full of love and life!! even if i die suddenly they have a huge family support network behind them and will be ok. i think thats an important part of the decission process too. i will watch with interest what path they decide to take. cheers from Australia. Blacky

blackchameleon · Feb 10, 2009

just thought id throw my thoughts in.i have cf and my wife and i knew i was sterile and planned for a no kids life!! a medical procedure enabled my sperm to be extracted from my testicle, then one sperm was injected into each egg harvested from my wife. my wife was tested for being a cf carrier first and was clear so we knew our children would be free from cf but be a carrier only. my health then was pretty good and is the same now. im 38 soon and our boys are 11 and 9. i became very sick 8 years ago and thought we could have saved two boys alot of grief in seeing their father die if we never had them. i decided to really take cf on and do so much exercise and lung clearance now i am actually fitter than many of my mates. we have travelled to brazil, sri lanka and india with our boys and they have a wonderful life. i had a responsibility to my boys to keep fighting cf and show them the importance of being diligent. i dont think i would have done that without having their interests in mind. i very nearly lost all hope and gave up. as you can see they are a wonderful and beautiful part of my life. they are, like all children, extaordinary creations full of love and life!! even if i die suddenly they have a huge family support network behind them and will be ok. i think thats an important part of the decission process too. i will watch with interest what path they decide to take. cheers from Australia. Blacky

blackchameleon · Feb 10, 2009

just thought id throw my thoughts in.i have cf and my wife and i knew i was sterile and planned for a no kids life!! a medical procedure enabled my sperm to be extracted from my testicle, then one sperm was injected into each egg harvested from my wife. my wife was tested for being a cf carrier first and was clear so we knew our children would be free from cf but be a carrier only. my health then was pretty good and is the same now. im 38 soon and our boys are 11 and 9. i became very sick 8 years ago and thought we could have saved two boys alot of grief in seeing their father die if we never had them. i decided to really take cf on and do so much exercise and lung clearance now i am actually fitter than many of my mates. we have travelled to brazil, sri lanka and india with our boys and they have a wonderful life. i had a responsibility to my boys to keep fighting cf and show them the importance of being diligent. i dont think i would have done that without having their interests in mind. i very nearly lost all hope and gave up. as you can see they are a wonderful and beautiful part of my life. they are, like all children, extaordinary creations full of love and life!! even if i die suddenly they have a huge family support network behind them and will be ok. i think thats an important part of the decission process too. i will watch with interest what path they decide to take. cheers from Australia. Blacky

blackchameleon · Feb 10, 2009

just thought id throw my thoughts in.i have cf and my wife and i knew i was sterile and planned for a no kids life!! a medical procedure enabled my sperm to be extracted from my testicle, then one sperm was injected into each egg harvested from my wife. my wife was tested for being a cf carrier first and was clear so we knew our children would be free from cf but be a carrier only. my health then was pretty good and is the same now. im 38 soon and our boys are 11 and 9. i became very sick 8 years ago and thought we could have saved two boys alot of grief in seeing their father die if we never had them. i decided to really take cf on and do so much exercise and lung clearance now i am actually fitter than many of my mates. we have travelled to brazil, sri lanka and india with our boys and they have a wonderful life. i had a responsibility to my boys to keep fighting cf and show them the importance of being diligent. i dont think i would have done that without having their interests in mind. i very nearly lost all hope and gave up. as you can see they are a wonderful and beautiful part of my life. they are, like all children, extaordinary creations full of love and life!! even if i die suddenly they have a huge family support network behind them and will be ok. i think thats an important part of the decission process too. i will watch with interest what path they decide to take. cheers from Australia. Blacky

lilywing · Feb 10, 2009

Hi everyone,
I find this topic so interesting, and love to hear others' points of view.
I grew up thinking I would not be able to have children, should I make it to adulthood. Along the way, I talked myself into thinking that luckily, I just wasn't the motherly type. However, now at age 30, I'm not sure one way or the other.
I do know that when I'm sick, and while I'm in hospital, my life can seem to fall apart. In the past, I've been forced to leave school, quit jobs, find people to take care of my life's business (including my fur-baby, Howie). I find it stressful, especially as I have been requiring more hospitalizations and home IV's now than ever before.
I don't know what my future holds, and I think the nature of cystic fibrosis is very unpredictable, regardless of one's current state of health. My personal opinion is that children might do well with more predictability than less.
I hate watching my mother struggle with her sarcoidosis and still try to take care of me. And the day I might lose her would be the worst day of my life. I guess maybe I'm not good with uncertainty, and so the decision to not have children (naturally or otherwise) is the right one for me.
But as I said before, who knows what the future holds? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Kelly

lilywing · Feb 10, 2009

Hi everyone,
I find this topic so interesting, and love to hear others' points of view.
I grew up thinking I would not be able to have children, should I make it to adulthood. Along the way, I talked myself into thinking that luckily, I just wasn't the motherly type. However, now at age 30, I'm not sure one way or the other.
I do know that when I'm sick, and while I'm in hospital, my life can seem to fall apart. In the past, I've been forced to leave school, quit jobs, find people to take care of my life's business (including my fur-baby, Howie). I find it stressful, especially as I have been requiring more hospitalizations and home IV's now than ever before.
I don't know what my future holds, and I think the nature of cystic fibrosis is very unpredictable, regardless of one's current state of health. My personal opinion is that children might do well with more predictability than less.
I hate watching my mother struggle with her sarcoidosis and still try to take care of me. And the day I might lose her would be the worst day of my life. I guess maybe I'm not good with uncertainty, and so the decision to not have children (naturally or otherwise) is the right one for me.
But as I said before, who knows what the future holds? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Kelly

lilywing · Feb 10, 2009

Hi everyone,
I find this topic so interesting, and love to hear others' points of view.
I grew up thinking I would not be able to have children, should I make it to adulthood. Along the way, I talked myself into thinking that luckily, I just wasn't the motherly type. However, now at age 30, I'm not sure one way or the other.
I do know that when I'm sick, and while I'm in hospital, my life can seem to fall apart. In the past, I've been forced to leave school, quit jobs, find people to take care of my life's business (including my fur-baby, Howie). I find it stressful, especially as I have been requiring more hospitalizations and home IV's now than ever before.
I don't know what my future holds, and I think the nature of cystic fibrosis is very unpredictable, regardless of one's current state of health. My personal opinion is that children might do well with more predictability than less.
I hate watching my mother struggle with her sarcoidosis and still try to take care of me. And the day I might lose her would be the worst day of my life. I guess maybe I'm not good with uncertainty, and so the decision to not have children (naturally or otherwise) is the right one for me.
But as I said before, who knows what the future holds? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Kelly

lilywing · Feb 10, 2009

Hi everyone,
I find this topic so interesting, and love to hear others' points of view.
I grew up thinking I would not be able to have children, should I make it to adulthood. Along the way, I talked myself into thinking that luckily, I just wasn't the motherly type. However, now at age 30, I'm not sure one way or the other.
I do know that when I'm sick, and while I'm in hospital, my life can seem to fall apart. In the past, I've been forced to leave school, quit jobs, find people to take care of my life's business (including my fur-baby, Howie). I find it stressful, especially as I have been requiring more hospitalizations and home IV's now than ever before.
I don't know what my future holds, and I think the nature of cystic fibrosis is very unpredictable, regardless of one's current state of health. My personal opinion is that children might do well with more predictability than less.
I hate watching my mother struggle with her sarcoidosis and still try to take care of me. And the day I might lose her would be the worst day of my life. I guess maybe I'm not good with uncertainty, and so the decision to not have children (naturally or otherwise) is the right one for me.
But as I said before, who knows what the future holds? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Kelly

lilywing · Feb 10, 2009

Hi everyone,
 I find this topic so interesting, and love to hear others' points of view.
 I grew up thinking I would not be able to have children, should I make it to adulthood. Along the way, I talked myself into thinking that luckily, I just wasn't the motherly type. However, now at age 30, I'm not sure one way or the other.
 I do know that when I'm sick, and while I'm in hospital, my life can seem to fall apart. In the past, I've been forced to leave school, quit jobs, find people to take care of my life's business (including my fur-baby, Howie). I find it stressful, especially as I have been requiring more hospitalizations and home IV's now than ever before.
 I don't know what my future holds, and I think the nature of cystic fibrosis is very unpredictable, regardless of one's current state of health. My personal opinion is that children might do well with more predictability than less.
 I hate watching my mother struggle with her sarcoidosis and still try to take care of me. And the day I might lose her would be the worst day of my life. I guess maybe I'm not good with uncertainty, and so the decision to not have children (naturally or otherwise) is the right one for me.
 But as I said before, who knows what the future holds? <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
 Kelly

Grandparent wanna-be

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