<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>I feel like if I hold her down for every little thing - then she will feel like I am betraying her by allowing them to do such things, but I feel like if I leave the room or just stand by she will think I am abandoning her? I don't know. I am sure there are bigger problems than this out there, but with all that our little CFers go through, where do we draw the line between nurse and mother?</end quote></div>
I think this is a really valid concern, esp. with our kids that have to go through so much... and their experiences when very small with medical procedures can set them up for very long-term feelings about medical staff, testing, etc. So finding ways to minimize trauma and finding a role in the process you feel best about is REALLY important.
Emily has needed medical tests and frequent labwork since she was really little, far pre-dating her cf dx. As an example: labs/iv's. She has very small veins that collapse and roll, etc- so many of you here can relate to that. After some bad experiences culminating in one experience with a lab tech that supposively knew how to deal with kids that I was ready to KILL, resulting in about 5 or 6 blown veins, blood all over the place and bruises from being held down by me and multiple other staff... I said ENOUGH.
I started taking her to the ped floor of our hospital and the staff up there that does it all the time with kids took care of her in their procedure room with a technique that was so much less traumatizing. They swaddled her in several huge sheets to render her motionless on a soft bed- so instead of being held down in what had to be a painful way resulting in bruises, all it took was one nurse just leaning a little on her. I could just stand by her head and sing in her ear.
I felt so much better about this, playing role of comforter rather than 'enabler of torture.' And one other nurse could handle the flailing arm without a problem, the only part left out of the swaddle hold- and she knew what she was doing and managed getting her on the FIRST STICK. This helped Emily immensely in learning to cope with labs. It's not like she could get out of them, she still panicked at first, but the calm atmosphere, no one yelling at her, and her not being able to let the situation get out of control- and yes, I believe me being able to just comfort and not be part of the restraining, etc- really helped a lot. Within 2 years she was able to get her labs done quietly sitting in my lap again, no swaddling... largely having overcome the trauma of it. I am so glad we did this. She still cries a little but is over the blind panic!
*Warning, about to step up on soapbox after years of dealing with a particular pet peeve of mine...* She's needed a lot of other stuff done over the years and where you do it makes all the difference. Most of our kids here are seen at great children's hospitals but not all medical professionals are alike in seeing things as KIDS do, being slow, patient, understanding, letting kids acclimate to what IS scary and overwhelming to them.
Kids deserve to be treated with the same respect we expect in a doctor's office. We would hate to have some dr just start poking us and touching us all over the place without dignifying it with an explanation, asking permission, and going slowly so we can know what to expect. I think lots of kids are unnecessarily traumatized by drs not being respectful of kids' needs in this way. (And what seem like simple, routine and non-traumatic things don't necessarily seem so to our kids. The otoscope seems really benign to us, but once it's gone in their ears with an ear infection, it might terrorize them and is associated with pain even once they are well, the bright light in their eyes can be quite painful when ill with fever and thereafter scary to face, that stethoscope is cold! ...etc. And that's the little stuff. Never mind the big stuff our kids go through. Mature powers of reasoning don't exist for little kids that we have as adults.) ...ok, off my soapbox. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-tongue.gif" border="0">
I am also fan of letting them sedate kids for testing and various procedures that might traumatize them, personally. I might catch flak for that from some parents that are bigger fans of having kids gut things out from a very early age, but it's where I stand. If Emily is too little to process it and thoroughly understand it, I am not going to force her too.
