How do you handle the worry... the what ifs?

M

MargaritaChic

New member
My daughter is 3 1/2 months old now. She is beautiful and a complete joy to have in my life.

My question is...
How do you handle the fears you have about what could happen to your child? The what ifs? The things none of us have any control over?

I try not to think too far ahead, to just deal with each day as they come. But today I am having a tough day. Today I just want my baby to not have this damn disease. I just want to know that she will be ok. That she will be healthy and live to be 70 years old.
 
M

MargaritaChic

New member
My daughter is 3 1/2 months old now. She is beautiful and a complete joy to have in my life.

My question is...
How do you handle the fears you have about what could happen to your child? The what ifs? The things none of us have any control over?

I try not to think too far ahead, to just deal with each day as they come. But today I am having a tough day. Today I just want my baby to not have this damn disease. I just want to know that she will be ok. That she will be healthy and live to be 70 years old.
 
M

MargaritaChic

New member
My daughter is 3 1/2 months old now. She is beautiful and a complete joy to have in my life.

My question is...
How do you handle the fears you have about what could happen to your child? The what ifs? The things none of us have any control over?

I try not to think too far ahead, to just deal with each day as they come. But today I am having a tough day. Today I just want my baby to not have this damn disease. I just want to know that she will be ok. That she will be healthy and live to be 70 years old.
 
M

MargaritaChic

New member
My daughter is 3 1/2 months old now. She is beautiful and a complete joy to have in my life.

My question is...
How do you handle the fears you have about what could happen to your child? The what ifs? The things none of us have any control over?

I try not to think too far ahead, to just deal with each day as they come. But today I am having a tough day. Today I just want my baby to not have this damn disease. I just want to know that she will be ok. That she will be healthy and live to be 70 years old.
 
M

MargaritaChic

New member
My daughter is 3 1/2 months old now. She is beautiful and a complete joy to have in my life.
<br />
<br />My question is...
<br />How do you handle the fears you have about what could happen to your child? The what ifs? The things none of us have any control over?
<br />
<br />I try not to think too far ahead, to just deal with each day as they come. But today I am having a tough day. Today I just want my baby to not have this damn disease. I just want to know that she will be ok. That she will be healthy and live to be 70 years old.
 
S

SuperRyan

New member
Hello

I think that all of us will have our good and bad days when dealing with this tragic illness. It is important to let yourself have those moments b/c that is the reality of the situation. That being said, take comfort in the fact that hopefully due to the excellent care i know you are giving your child, you will be able to beat the odds. I still have days like that, especially when Ryan is ill, b/c this is what brings you back to the reality of the situation. I turn the negative into a positive and use that energy to fight even harder for my son so that hopefully the "What Ifs" aren't even an option. I guess I am a "glass is half full" kind of girl and this is just how I get through these times of uncertainty. But don't ignore them, b/c it is real and like you said, some of it, we have no control over. What we do have control over is giving our children the best possible care so as to avoid as many complications as possible and accepting that sometimes the cards will fall as they will. Trust me, you are not alone with the feelings that you are having. Take care
 
S

SuperRyan

New member
Hello

I think that all of us will have our good and bad days when dealing with this tragic illness. It is important to let yourself have those moments b/c that is the reality of the situation. That being said, take comfort in the fact that hopefully due to the excellent care i know you are giving your child, you will be able to beat the odds. I still have days like that, especially when Ryan is ill, b/c this is what brings you back to the reality of the situation. I turn the negative into a positive and use that energy to fight even harder for my son so that hopefully the "What Ifs" aren't even an option. I guess I am a "glass is half full" kind of girl and this is just how I get through these times of uncertainty. But don't ignore them, b/c it is real and like you said, some of it, we have no control over. What we do have control over is giving our children the best possible care so as to avoid as many complications as possible and accepting that sometimes the cards will fall as they will. Trust me, you are not alone with the feelings that you are having. Take care
 
S

SuperRyan

New member
Hello

I think that all of us will have our good and bad days when dealing with this tragic illness. It is important to let yourself have those moments b/c that is the reality of the situation. That being said, take comfort in the fact that hopefully due to the excellent care i know you are giving your child, you will be able to beat the odds. I still have days like that, especially when Ryan is ill, b/c this is what brings you back to the reality of the situation. I turn the negative into a positive and use that energy to fight even harder for my son so that hopefully the "What Ifs" aren't even an option. I guess I am a "glass is half full" kind of girl and this is just how I get through these times of uncertainty. But don't ignore them, b/c it is real and like you said, some of it, we have no control over. What we do have control over is giving our children the best possible care so as to avoid as many complications as possible and accepting that sometimes the cards will fall as they will. Trust me, you are not alone with the feelings that you are having. Take care
 
S

SuperRyan

New member
Hello

I think that all of us will have our good and bad days when dealing with this tragic illness. It is important to let yourself have those moments b/c that is the reality of the situation. That being said, take comfort in the fact that hopefully due to the excellent care i know you are giving your child, you will be able to beat the odds. I still have days like that, especially when Ryan is ill, b/c this is what brings you back to the reality of the situation. I turn the negative into a positive and use that energy to fight even harder for my son so that hopefully the "What Ifs" aren't even an option. I guess I am a "glass is half full" kind of girl and this is just how I get through these times of uncertainty. But don't ignore them, b/c it is real and like you said, some of it, we have no control over. What we do have control over is giving our children the best possible care so as to avoid as many complications as possible and accepting that sometimes the cards will fall as they will. Trust me, you are not alone with the feelings that you are having. Take care
 
S

SuperRyan

New member
Hello
<br />
<br />I think that all of us will have our good and bad days when dealing with this tragic illness. It is important to let yourself have those moments b/c that is the reality of the situation. That being said, take comfort in the fact that hopefully due to the excellent care i know you are giving your child, you will be able to beat the odds. I still have days like that, especially when Ryan is ill, b/c this is what brings you back to the reality of the situation. I turn the negative into a positive and use that energy to fight even harder for my son so that hopefully the "What Ifs" aren't even an option. I guess I am a "glass is half full" kind of girl and this is just how I get through these times of uncertainty. But don't ignore them, b/c it is real and like you said, some of it, we have no control over. What we do have control over is giving our children the best possible care so as to avoid as many complications as possible and accepting that sometimes the cards will fall as they will. Trust me, you are not alone with the feelings that you are having. Take care
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We were told early on to only allow ourselves 15 minutes a day to worry about DS. Tried to do so, though it was very difficult at first. I was so worried DS would end up back in the hospital, have another bowel obstruction... Little by little I got thru each worry.

First time he got an ear infection, stomach flu, thought, hey, that wasn't so bad. Now I know what to look for... The worst time for me is if DS is feeling a little bit under the weather -- a cough, fever... And I worry soooo much. My husband seems to be more practical -- I'll talk to him about my worries, my what ifs -- just helps to talk thru things sometimes.

So have a good cry, a good rant or rage. Then go look at some pictures of her smiling, go play with her or just rock her.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We were told early on to only allow ourselves 15 minutes a day to worry about DS. Tried to do so, though it was very difficult at first. I was so worried DS would end up back in the hospital, have another bowel obstruction... Little by little I got thru each worry.

First time he got an ear infection, stomach flu, thought, hey, that wasn't so bad. Now I know what to look for... The worst time for me is if DS is feeling a little bit under the weather -- a cough, fever... And I worry soooo much. My husband seems to be more practical -- I'll talk to him about my worries, my what ifs -- just helps to talk thru things sometimes.

So have a good cry, a good rant or rage. Then go look at some pictures of her smiling, go play with her or just rock her.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We were told early on to only allow ourselves 15 minutes a day to worry about DS. Tried to do so, though it was very difficult at first. I was so worried DS would end up back in the hospital, have another bowel obstruction... Little by little I got thru each worry.

First time he got an ear infection, stomach flu, thought, hey, that wasn't so bad. Now I know what to look for... The worst time for me is if DS is feeling a little bit under the weather -- a cough, fever... And I worry soooo much. My husband seems to be more practical -- I'll talk to him about my worries, my what ifs -- just helps to talk thru things sometimes.

So have a good cry, a good rant or rage. Then go look at some pictures of her smiling, go play with her or just rock her.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We were told early on to only allow ourselves 15 minutes a day to worry about DS. Tried to do so, though it was very difficult at first. I was so worried DS would end up back in the hospital, have another bowel obstruction... Little by little I got thru each worry.

First time he got an ear infection, stomach flu, thought, hey, that wasn't so bad. Now I know what to look for... The worst time for me is if DS is feeling a little bit under the weather -- a cough, fever... And I worry soooo much. My husband seems to be more practical -- I'll talk to him about my worries, my what ifs -- just helps to talk thru things sometimes.

So have a good cry, a good rant or rage. Then go look at some pictures of her smiling, go play with her or just rock her.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
We were told early on to only allow ourselves 15 minutes a day to worry about DS. Tried to do so, though it was very difficult at first. I was so worried DS would end up back in the hospital, have another bowel obstruction... Little by little I got thru each worry.
<br />
<br />First time he got an ear infection, stomach flu, thought, hey, that wasn't so bad. Now I know what to look for... The worst time for me is if DS is feeling a little bit under the weather -- a cough, fever... And I worry soooo much. My husband seems to be more practical -- I'll talk to him about my worries, my what ifs -- just helps to talk thru things sometimes.
<br />
<br />So have a good cry, a good rant or rage. Then go look at some pictures of her smiling, go play with her or just rock her.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I think we all have good days and bad days. For me, its gotten easier as my daughter grew out of the baby stage and became a toddler. She's a walking, talking person now ... I don't have as much time to wonder what if. I think about it a lot and some days it makes me very sad. But I'd do anything for her. I think at some point I realized it couldn't be all about me being sad and worried for her -- I had to be able to help her through it all. And I'm sure as she gets even older it will be more of my focus.

You have time, so take it while you adjust and grieve. It is sad, but there is also a lot of hope. I try to remind myself daily of all the hope that balances all the scary unknown.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I think we all have good days and bad days. For me, its gotten easier as my daughter grew out of the baby stage and became a toddler. She's a walking, talking person now ... I don't have as much time to wonder what if. I think about it a lot and some days it makes me very sad. But I'd do anything for her. I think at some point I realized it couldn't be all about me being sad and worried for her -- I had to be able to help her through it all. And I'm sure as she gets even older it will be more of my focus.

You have time, so take it while you adjust and grieve. It is sad, but there is also a lot of hope. I try to remind myself daily of all the hope that balances all the scary unknown.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I think we all have good days and bad days. For me, its gotten easier as my daughter grew out of the baby stage and became a toddler. She's a walking, talking person now ... I don't have as much time to wonder what if. I think about it a lot and some days it makes me very sad. But I'd do anything for her. I think at some point I realized it couldn't be all about me being sad and worried for her -- I had to be able to help her through it all. And I'm sure as she gets even older it will be more of my focus.

You have time, so take it while you adjust and grieve. It is sad, but there is also a lot of hope. I try to remind myself daily of all the hope that balances all the scary unknown.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I think we all have good days and bad days. For me, its gotten easier as my daughter grew out of the baby stage and became a toddler. She's a walking, talking person now ... I don't have as much time to wonder what if. I think about it a lot and some days it makes me very sad. But I'd do anything for her. I think at some point I realized it couldn't be all about me being sad and worried for her -- I had to be able to help her through it all. And I'm sure as she gets even older it will be more of my focus.

You have time, so take it while you adjust and grieve. It is sad, but there is also a lot of hope. I try to remind myself daily of all the hope that balances all the scary unknown.
 
M

Mommafirst

Guest
I think we all have good days and bad days. For me, its gotten easier as my daughter grew out of the baby stage and became a toddler. She's a walking, talking person now ... I don't have as much time to wonder what if. I think about it a lot and some days it makes me very sad. But I'd do anything for her. I think at some point I realized it couldn't be all about me being sad and worried for her -- I had to be able to help her through it all. And I'm sure as she gets even older it will be more of my focus.
<br />
<br />You have time, so take it while you adjust and grieve. It is sad, but there is also a lot of hope. I try to remind myself daily of all the hope that balances all the scary unknown.
 
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