Is this tacky???

[chipper28]

My general thought is if you're comfortable with it, do it, if
you're not, don't.  Trying to determine other people's
"tacky-reading" just isn't worth the effort.<br>
<br>
I do have one bit of information on the diapering expense.  My
brother and sister-in-law are using a product called Kushies.
 These are reusable cloth diapers which seem really well
designed.  You don't have to do any folding since they're
already shaped, and they have liners (both disposable and
washable) and covers which can be used to make the diaper work
for different circumstances (out and about, normal wear, night
time...).  The website is <a href=
"http://www.kushies.com">www.kushies.com</a> with a FAQ at: <a
href=
"http://www.kushies.com/FAQ/faq.html">http://www.kushies.com/FAQ/faq.html</a>.<br>

<br>
I think that they used disposables for the first bit and just
bought Infant sized diapers (10-22lb), however they do have preemie
sized kushies which are 2-4 lbs which might be useful for
multiples.<br>
<br>
Again, I have not used these personally, so I can't talk too much
about the convenience and cost factors, but I do know my brother
and his wife seem very happy.  I was concerned that the
increase in water in energy usage would make up for some of the
expense, but they've told me that it does not in the least bit.<br>
<br>
They did look at getting a diaper service for cleaning them, but
decided it didn't make sense to pay for something that they found
quite easy to do.<br>
<br>
The diapers come in bright colors and patterns (they probably have
white too, but none on my niece), and can be bought individually or
in packs of 5 or 8.  Might be something to look into!<br>
<br>

 

[thelizardqueen]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>wallflower</b></i>

I don't think there's any such thing as being financially secure enough to have kids. Mark could've had an amazing job and then been laid off.</end quote></div>

I completly agree with Wallflower. You could have been financially set up, and then one of you could have lost your job, or some other sort of horrible financial situation could have come up. You weren't expecting to have triplets. What a wonderful gift it is to have triplets, but you weren't expecting it. I'm not sure if I necessarily believe in God, but I know that we are only dealt cards that we can handle.

I don't think its tacky at all. You're not ashamed to admit that you need help. Nor should you be ashamed. Its not like you're living the high life, and still asking for donations. You're going to a food bank, you've cut out cable, you're doing all that YOU can to save money. I don't think you're asking people to do things that they don't want to do. People donate out of the goodness of their heart, because they want to help. I myself don't know what I would have done without the donations that I've gotten for my situation. Granted, its an entirly different situation, but non the less.

Do what you feel is right. If people want to help out and donate, then they can. If they choose not to, then they don't have to. I only wish that there was something I could do for you guys myself, but at the moment I can't. Just know that I'm here for you if ever you want to talk, or even down the line if you need help and I'm able to.

 

[LisaV]

Don't forget that there are coupons available for new babies - particularly multiples (Search "diapers" "triplets" "coupons").

And I know my daughter and her friends registered for baby gifts at Babies-R-Us online (which is really www.toysrus. com). They had to stay on top of it as presents from other places arrived, but still it was a help to those of us far away who wanted to give something other than cash.

I think you'll find that WIC will be a great help for the little ones (until they are on solids at any rate). And it is more than possible that you'll be eligible for food stamps for a while. You're right it's the diapers that will be pricey. And I can't imagine using regular diapers rather than disposables, so many and so many washings, yuck. I forget, did you ever get a diaper service quote? I remember one friend did use this for her twins and a different person picked up the bill for each month for a year (her mom sort of "raffled off the opportunity").

Try not to panic too much.

 

[julie]

Thanks for the ideas and suggestions (I promise this post won't be a novel <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">)

Lisa, yes we looked into the diaper service and it's about $375 a month, not including diaper covers, which you can buy from them or buy somewhere else. I think we are going to give it a try, because it is a lot cheaper than the disposables, but then leaks come into play and I'm not sure it if would be worth changing baby clothes and diapers so often. I guess we'll see.

Chipper, I talked to a few other triplet moms who did cloth diapers and they did so only because the cloths were passed to them (I think they used something similar to Kushies which was an all in one diaper with the option of a reuseable or disposable insert) but they did say that doing the diaper washes for 3 babies had upped their water and electricity bill. Enough to offset the diapers??? None of them really knew, but they did say it was a good increase of about $45-50 increase on each bill each month, and they attributed 1/2 of that increase to the diapers, the other 1/2 to the baby clothes, blankets, burp cloths.... a mom of triplets who had a singleton before and clothed him said that there wasn't the increase in bills with the one baby, but definately with 3. So that's another consideration for Mark and I. And also the time in washing the diapers and cleaning them. Maybe for 1 baby it would be ok, but i imainge for 3 it will be time consuming. And since my schedule is really not the same everyday, somtimes I get lucky and it's only an 8 hour day, most of the times it's a 10 hour day, and about 2-3x a month it's a 12 hour day. Also 2 times a month I work satruday or sunday, or sometimes both days in a week. So 7 days a week at an average of 9 hours a day.... poor Mark is going to need a break and I can't see him using his break to wash diapers <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Thanks everyone!

 

[Scarlett81]

Julie-

I don't know if you thought of this yet, but I went to EBAY and typed in the following:Baby Lot, Baby Diapers, Diapers Lots
-and cheap cheap bunches of stuff came up. Like several boxes of Pampers for 6.99, lots of cloth diapers, stuff like that. There was some really cheap stuff.

Check it out!

 

[julie]

Will do!! I found some used cloth diaper covers there (I bought about 5 in preemie and 5 in newborn) to test out with the month of cloths we are going to do. I didn't even think about looking for disposables there. Thanks for the info!

 

[bmombtoo]

Hey, can you go public with a news story and just say that
infertility problems are normal in CF with out all the details. It
would make a good human interest story.<br>
Tacky, maybe not, maybe so....all ways 2 ways to look at
everything. Post on this site what u need. Let the church know what
u need if you are involved in one. Hit the big corporations that
make diapers, wipes, baby food, formula........always need a tax
right off with a good human interest pitch. Tell them the whole
story.<br>
Even with the best planning some things can't be planned........I
found out I was pregnant with Josh when I was five months along
after 11 years of you can't have any more children.

 

[EnergyGal]

Julie there are affiliate programs online that you can have on your website so you can earn money. You can place a banner on your site from a company that does this sort of thing and when someone clicks on your banner and buys a product, this is connected to you by the affiliate. It is like they are renting space to adverstise from you on your website. I never did this but you can look into this.

 

[EnergyGal]

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.affiliateprograms.com/?source=google
">http://www.affiliateprograms.com/?source=google
</a>this explains it all

 

[EnergyGal]

This one sounds perfect but I would see what else is out there.
<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.thebabyjoint.com/affiliate.php">http://www.thebabyjoint.com/affiliate.php</a>

 

[Emily65Roses]

The original question... eh. It could be either. Part of me says it's tacky because you guys did that by choice, and ran into some unexpecteds, but it was still a choice. And like I said before, you can't say you didn't get your IVF money's worth. At the same time, what harm is it to post the information? If people think it's tacky or don't want to / can't donate, they won't. On the other hand, you're making the opportunity available to those who might like to take advantage of it. I might not come out and say something like "please donate!" but more like "if you'd like to give us a hand, here's how." Oh and... I might not put it in BIG HUGE LETTERS right on the front page. Haha. If you add some modesty, some humility to it, it'll be more attractive, I think. A link on the side, or at the very bottom. Something like that. Course, again, that's just my opinion.

Either way, it's up to you. I'd say post it somewhere, allow people the opportunity. Those who don't want to, won't, and those who do and can, will. I think it's possible for someone to find basically anything you do tacky, so being "embarrassed" about possibly being tacky (to some people) isn't worth it, especially when it's your kids and their needs on the line.

 

[Landy]

Julie
Here's my take on it....go ahead & mention it. If folks can't afford to help or don't want to then they won't. I don't think it's tacky.
What's the old saying....."Desperate times call for desperate measures?"?
Sometimes that is just a reality of life. I remember when my daughter was a baby---those diapers & formula were expensive. The only time I've ever written a check knowing that it would bounce was one time when we had no money but needed diapers/formula. I went to an off-beat store that I knew I would never go to again & bit the big one. After later paying return check fees to them & to the bank...those were the most expensive diapers I have even bought, but what else could we do??
Almost all of us have had those desperate times....times when we should ask for help but are too prideful to.

 

[JazzysMom]

I think everyone covered most of it, but I will give my 2 cents. Tacky=no...welcomed by all=no....worth a shot= yes. Short & sweet!

 

[EnergyGal]

Check out this site too

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060726144005AAYEnst">http://answers.yahoo.com/quest...=20060726144005AAYEnst</a>

 

[EnergyGal]

I found a very interesting site for you Julie

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.tripletconnection.org/triplet_forum/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=137">http://www.tripletconnection.o...=show_topics&forum=137</a>

 

[dolphin1]

Hi, Julie<br>
 I do not think that it is taky at all.  Three babies at
once wow.  Alot of people would need help.  I have three
children two with cf and we need help at times for copays.
 Our church has recently set up a trust fund for my children
and wow in one morning we did a bake sale and raised 1400.  I
think you deserve it.  I was on wic with my children and
didn't have to buy much formula at all.  I also breastfed for
awhile to.  My son was a year when we found out he had cf and
wic even covered his special formula and pediasure after that as
long as his doc wrote a script for it.  Also local churchs may
help out too.  Our church does things like this to help out
people in the community.  We have around 2700 members but hey
you may be surprised.  My two oldest kids were diagnosed in
Jan 2002.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  God will
make a way, he always does.<br>
Jeanine mother of three, Sydney w/cf, Trey w/cf and Abbey w/out cf

 

[julie]

Thanks so much risa for your wealth of information!!! I looked at the link you provided and applied so we'll see if they accept it. I had no idea this was a possibility!!! Thanks so much!

 

[kybert]

i think its tacky but you gotta do what you gotta do. i agree with others that you should go public. i think the media would be really interested.

 

[Momtana]

Good job, Risa, finding that site for parents of triplets! Any local CF organizations near you, Julie?

 

[blindhearted]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>julie</b></i>

I actually thought it might be leaning towards the tacky side, but Mark and I talked and his opinion was, "well put it there and if people want to donate they can. If they don't want to or can't, they won't". I think he makes a good point and if I had money to donate to these other multiple families (or giftcards or whatever the need be) I would in a heartbeat. </end quote></div>

Mark took the words right out of my brain. I have no "it is tacky / is not tacky" opinion. I agree with mark. Put it there. Those who want to donate will and those who dont want to, will not donate. Cant hurt anything.

Non-CF related : We had a couple in our town who had one child and wanted one more, decided on IVF after many failed tries naturally and they ended up with 5 more kids (6 originally, but one passed away at birth). So now they have five 7 yr olds and one older child (i think he was six at the time of births, so now would be 13 yrs old). I'm not sure how they did it, but I know the whole neighborhood has helped raising them. Her mother even moved next door to help with them.