Legally married versus ceremonial marriage

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Keepercjr

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>I have watched my parents lose everything financially because of my mom having breast cancer, and NOT qualifying for government help. It stinks.</end quote><br><br></i>The same thing happened to my inlaws but different medical issue. My mother in law almost died from diverticulitis gone horribly wrong and now they are financially ruined for a very long time since they had no health insurance and did not qualify for any assistance. We even have collectors calling here! <br><br>I am quite happy with my living situation and agree with the nature of Julie's original post minus the religious aspect since we do not have a religious belief. I suppose there is nothing more for me to say <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><i><br></i>
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>I have watched my parents lose everything financially because of my mom having breast cancer, and NOT qualifying for government help. It stinks.</end quote><br><br></i>The same thing happened to my inlaws but different medical issue. My mother in law almost died from diverticulitis gone horribly wrong and now they are financially ruined for a very long time since they had no health insurance and did not qualify for any assistance. We even have collectors calling here! <br><br>I am quite happy with my living situation and agree with the nature of Julie's original post minus the religious aspect since we do not have a religious belief. I suppose there is nothing more for me to say <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"><i><br></i>
 
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musclemania70

New member
Its too bad the government programs have to be so confusing and they cannot find a way to help to the people who need it vs the people who don't need it no matter if you're married or not. People shouldn't have to live as 'partners' because of the financial burdens that a legal marriage would impose.
That sucks.
 
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musclemania70

New member
Its too bad the government programs have to be so confusing and they cannot find a way to help to the people who need it vs the people who don't need it no matter if you're married or not. People shouldn't have to live as 'partners' because of the financial burdens that a legal marriage would impose.
That sucks.
 
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musclemania70

New member
Its too bad the government programs have to be so confusing and they cannot find a way to help to the people who need it vs the people who don't need it no matter if you're married or not. People shouldn't have to live as 'partners' because of the financial burdens that a legal marriage would impose.
<br />That sucks.
 
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AnnieT

New member
Why don't yall let this post go and work it out amongst yourselfs. Arguing over things that aren't significan are a waste of time and energy. She was try to explain how this system works~AND yes some things I didn't agree with but I'm human. So let it go.
 
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AnnieT

New member
Why don't yall let this post go and work it out amongst yourselfs. Arguing over things that aren't significan are a waste of time and energy. She was try to explain how this system works~AND yes some things I didn't agree with but I'm human. So let it go.
 
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AnnieT

New member
Why don't yall let this post go and work it out amongst yourselfs. Arguing over things that aren't significan are a waste of time and energy. She was try to explain how this system works~AND yes some things I didn't agree with but I'm human. So let it go.
 
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Tobit

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>schmj4910</b></i>

Julie - I think you misunderstood my post...I was not discussing the differences between Medicare and Medicaid. Honestly, I don't know the differences, so I typically use the term "Medicare/Medicaid" to mean government-funded health care.



My question for the "not legally married" CF people was: Are you asked to report single income or household income? My point was that if you are being asked for your household income, that is what you should report, regardless of marriage status. If you are not truthful about your income, you could be found guilty of fraud, which probably has some dire consequences.



I have heard about people lying to collect unemployment insurance money, only to be found out and forced to repay the money. It would be horrible if someone had to repay all of their Medicare/Medicaid-covered things. I know my son's meds cost close to $10,000/month and he is "healthy".



Julie - From your angry posts, I can tell that you are struggling with something and I hope you are able to resolve that soon. I am sorry for "getting you into a tizzy". I just wanted to post a point that has not been brought up yet.</end quote></div><br><br>A quick example will show why you don't report household income: My wife has been on SSI for several years now. When she was single at college, she lived in an apartment with 5 other girls (a fairly typical housing arrangement for students). Of course she wasn't supposed to go around and ask each of her roommates each month what their income was. That would be silly, because even if her roommate was making a million dollars a month, my wife didn't receive any of it and was still responsible for her own rent, food, etc. QED.<br><br>On the other hand, you are supposed to report certain things like housing, utility, and grocery assistance. If someone with CF lives with their "spouse", and their "spouse" pays the mortgage, that is something that is supposed to be reported. However, I believe that even if all your living expenses are paid for, there are some kinds of limits on how far your SSI will be reduced, so that you will still receive some SSI (and therefore be Medicaid eligible, at least in states that use SSI eligibility as a test for Medicaid eligiblity). <br><br>Of course, it gets a lot grayer when you consider that the working spouse probably gives money to the CF spouse. With that taken into account, you may have a valid point. <br>
 
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Tobit

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>schmj4910</b></i>

Julie - I think you misunderstood my post...I was not discussing the differences between Medicare and Medicaid. Honestly, I don't know the differences, so I typically use the term "Medicare/Medicaid" to mean government-funded health care.



My question for the "not legally married" CF people was: Are you asked to report single income or household income? My point was that if you are being asked for your household income, that is what you should report, regardless of marriage status. If you are not truthful about your income, you could be found guilty of fraud, which probably has some dire consequences.



I have heard about people lying to collect unemployment insurance money, only to be found out and forced to repay the money. It would be horrible if someone had to repay all of their Medicare/Medicaid-covered things. I know my son's meds cost close to $10,000/month and he is "healthy".



Julie - From your angry posts, I can tell that you are struggling with something and I hope you are able to resolve that soon. I am sorry for "getting you into a tizzy". I just wanted to post a point that has not been brought up yet.</end quote><br><br>A quick example will show why you don't report household income: My wife has been on SSI for several years now. When she was single at college, she lived in an apartment with 5 other girls (a fairly typical housing arrangement for students). Of course she wasn't supposed to go around and ask each of her roommates each month what their income was. That would be silly, because even if her roommate was making a million dollars a month, my wife didn't receive any of it and was still responsible for her own rent, food, etc. QED.<br><br>On the other hand, you are supposed to report certain things like housing, utility, and grocery assistance. If someone with CF lives with their "spouse", and their "spouse" pays the mortgage, that is something that is supposed to be reported. However, I believe that even if all your living expenses are paid for, there are some kinds of limits on how far your SSI will be reduced, so that you will still receive some SSI (and therefore be Medicaid eligible, at least in states that use SSI eligibility as a test for Medicaid eligiblity). <br><br>Of course, it gets a lot grayer when you consider that the working spouse probably gives money to the CF spouse. With that taken into account, you may have a valid point. <br>
 
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Tobit

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>schmj4910</b></i>

Julie - I think you misunderstood my post...I was not discussing the differences between Medicare and Medicaid. Honestly, I don't know the differences, so I typically use the term "Medicare/Medicaid" to mean government-funded health care.



My question for the "not legally married" CF people was: Are you asked to report single income or household income? My point was that if you are being asked for your household income, that is what you should report, regardless of marriage status. If you are not truthful about your income, you could be found guilty of fraud, which probably has some dire consequences.



I have heard about people lying to collect unemployment insurance money, only to be found out and forced to repay the money. It would be horrible if someone had to repay all of their Medicare/Medicaid-covered things. I know my son's meds cost close to $10,000/month and he is "healthy".



Julie - From your angry posts, I can tell that you are struggling with something and I hope you are able to resolve that soon. I am sorry for "getting you into a tizzy". I just wanted to post a point that has not been brought up yet.</end quote><br><br>A quick example will show why you don't report household income: My wife has been on SSI for several years now. When she was single at college, she lived in an apartment with 5 other girls (a fairly typical housing arrangement for students). Of course she wasn't supposed to go around and ask each of her roommates each month what their income was. That would be silly, because even if her roommate was making a million dollars a month, my wife didn't receive any of it and was still responsible for her own rent, food, etc. QED.<br><br>On the other hand, you are supposed to report certain things like housing, utility, and grocery assistance. If someone with CF lives with their "spouse", and their "spouse" pays the mortgage, that is something that is supposed to be reported. However, I believe that even if all your living expenses are paid for, there are some kinds of limits on how far your SSI will be reduced, so that you will still receive some SSI (and therefore be Medicaid eligible, at least in states that use SSI eligibility as a test for Medicaid eligiblity). <br><br>Of course, it gets a lot grayer when you consider that the working spouse probably gives money to the CF spouse. With that taken into account, you may have a valid point. <br>
 
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Blessed4Times

New member
Married or not, if two people are living together and clearly in a relationship then the WHOLE household income should be reported. (Roommates that are NOT in a relationship would be exempt from this of course as Tobit explained above). Anything else is technically fraud and there is a potential of investigation. Money doesn't grow on trees - all these "benefits" come as a price to someone.

A CFer claiming to be single to obtain SSI and stay home with their children isn't really any different than a "single" mom who stays home and lives with their child's father but doesn't claim their partner's income in order to collect food stamps, housing, etc. On paper that mom is "single" but in reality that is not the case. They are essentially collecting benefits that they aren't entitled to. I would hate to see a CFer have to pay back benefits that they weren't LEGALLY entitled to. It is against my morals, but I can understand why many scam the system for medical benefits. Even with medical insurance, we still pay ~$400 a month in co-pays. This is a non-negotiable expense so we cut from other areas (fewer date nights, no big vacations this year, etc.) to make sure we can afford his meds. It sucks, but we make it work one way or another.

Aside from the legally married vs. not married debate that is your personal decision, IS is not possible for the spouses of CFers to obtain better jobs for better medical coverage and do the right thing? I just can't fathom scamming the system my whole life so there must be a better way to accomplish the end result that a CFer needs to sustain life.
 
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Blessed4Times

New member
Married or not, if two people are living together and clearly in a relationship then the WHOLE household income should be reported. (Roommates that are NOT in a relationship would be exempt from this of course as Tobit explained above). Anything else is technically fraud and there is a potential of investigation. Money doesn't grow on trees - all these "benefits" come as a price to someone.

A CFer claiming to be single to obtain SSI and stay home with their children isn't really any different than a "single" mom who stays home and lives with their child's father but doesn't claim their partner's income in order to collect food stamps, housing, etc. On paper that mom is "single" but in reality that is not the case. They are essentially collecting benefits that they aren't entitled to. I would hate to see a CFer have to pay back benefits that they weren't LEGALLY entitled to. It is against my morals, but I can understand why many scam the system for medical benefits. Even with medical insurance, we still pay ~$400 a month in co-pays. This is a non-negotiable expense so we cut from other areas (fewer date nights, no big vacations this year, etc.) to make sure we can afford his meds. It sucks, but we make it work one way or another.

Aside from the legally married vs. not married debate that is your personal decision, IS is not possible for the spouses of CFers to obtain better jobs for better medical coverage and do the right thing? I just can't fathom scamming the system my whole life so there must be a better way to accomplish the end result that a CFer needs to sustain life.
 
B

Blessed4Times

New member
Married or not, if two people are living together and clearly in a relationship then the WHOLE household income should be reported. (Roommates that are NOT in a relationship would be exempt from this of course as Tobit explained above). Anything else is technically fraud and there is a potential of investigation. Money doesn't grow on trees - all these "benefits" come as a price to someone.
<br />
<br />A CFer claiming to be single to obtain SSI and stay home with their children isn't really any different than a "single" mom who stays home and lives with their child's father but doesn't claim their partner's income in order to collect food stamps, housing, etc. On paper that mom is "single" but in reality that is not the case. They are essentially collecting benefits that they aren't entitled to. I would hate to see a CFer have to pay back benefits that they weren't LEGALLY entitled to. It is against my morals, but I can understand why many scam the system for medical benefits. Even with medical insurance, we still pay ~$400 a month in co-pays. This is a non-negotiable expense so we cut from other areas (fewer date nights, no big vacations this year, etc.) to make sure we can afford his meds. It sucks, but we make it work one way or another.
<br />
<br />Aside from the legally married vs. not married debate that is your personal decision, IS is not possible for the spouses of CFers to obtain better jobs for better medical coverage and do the right thing? I just can't fathom scamming the system my whole life so there must be a better way to accomplish the end result that a CFer needs to sustain life.
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
I thought I had no more to say but couldn't help respond since it was clear Blessed was talking about me here since I am the only one who mentioned staying home with my kids... And a disclaimer that what I mention pertains to my situation only.<br><br><div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Blessed4Times</b></i>

A CFer claiming to be single to obtain SSI and stay home with their children isn't really any different than a "single" mom who stays home and lives with their child's father but doesn't claim their partner's income in order to collect food stamps, housing, etc. On paper that mom is "single" but in reality that is not the case. They are essentially collecting benefits that they aren't entitled to. </end quote></div><br><br>I can tell by the language you use (scam, fraud, do the right thing, etc) that you are clearly bothered by my choices in life even though you claim to understand.  Me "claiming to be single" (even though I technically AM single) to keep my benefits so I can YES stay home (ie not weaken myself by working) with my kids (and FWIW I would most likely not be working outside the home either if we didn't have kids)  is NO WHERE NEAR a healthy able-bodied person living with his/her partner and collecting benefits just to not have to work because they are too lazy.  I have to say I am a little offended.  I am doing it so I can stay healthy, not so I can have lots of date nights and go on fancy vacations. I have a family member defrauding the system like you described because he learned how to play it in prison - and it infuriates me.   But I'm not trading my (very modest) Social Security income and lifelong 100% secure forever health insurance for DH's "fine" health insurance and the possibility of losing it should he ever lose employment just to make people like you feel better.  It would cost us almost $2000 per month to compensate for the actual $ and other benefits I'd lose (and $ we would need to pay) if we got married.  I don't know where you live but for him to make another $2000 per month anytime soon is out of the question and he has a good job, a college degree and many years of experience!  I don't collect food stamps even though I qualify - I don't take WIC even though I qualify - I don't collect welfare (no idea if I qualify or not).  <br><br>Remember that we are talking about a rather unique situation here.  This isn't a problem that affects most Americans - just a select few.  So it isn't like there are millions of us with CF out there "scamming" left and right.  With the way our system is set up now there is no other good choice for people in *my* shoes.  I'm sorry but there just isn't.  Wishing there was, or saying there must be is not the same as there actually being one.  Trust me - I know. <br><br>In the end, when we reflect back on our lives, what is really going to matter?  Are my family and friends really going to care that I remained "single" so that I could live as long and healthy a life as I could?  They are going to remember that I was an honest, loving, caring person who did the best I could with what life threw at me.  <br>
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
I thought I had no more to say but couldn't help respond since it was clear Blessed was talking about me here since I am the only one who mentioned staying home with my kids... And a disclaimer that what I mention pertains to my situation only.<br><br><div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Blessed4Times</b></i>

A CFer claiming to be single to obtain SSI and stay home with their children isn't really any different than a "single" mom who stays home and lives with their child's father but doesn't claim their partner's income in order to collect food stamps, housing, etc. On paper that mom is "single" but in reality that is not the case. They are essentially collecting benefits that they aren't entitled to. </end quote><br><br>I can tell by the language you use (scam, fraud, do the right thing, etc) that you are clearly bothered by my choices in life even though you claim to understand. Me "claiming to be single" (even though I technically AM single) to keep my benefits so I can YES stay home (ie not weaken myself by working) with my kids (and FWIW I would most likely not be working outside the home either if we didn't have kids) is NO WHERE NEAR a healthy able-bodied person living with his/her partner and collecting benefits just to not have to work because they are too lazy. I have to say I am a little offended. I am doing it so I can stay healthy, not so I can have lots of date nights and go on fancy vacations. I have a family member defrauding the system like you described because he learned how to play it in prison - and it infuriates me. But I'm not trading my (very modest) Social Security income and lifelong 100% secure forever health insurance for DH's "fine" health insurance and the possibility of losing it should he ever lose employment just to make people like you feel better. It would cost us almost $2000 per month to compensate for the actual $ and other benefits I'd lose (and $ we would need to pay) if we got married. I don't know where you live but for him to make another $2000 per month anytime soon is out of the question and he has a good job, a college degree and many years of experience! I don't collect food stamps even though I qualify - I don't take WIC even though I qualify - I don't collect welfare (no idea if I qualify or not). <br><br>Remember that we are talking about a rather unique situation here. This isn't a problem that affects most Americans - just a select few. So it isn't like there are millions of us with CF out there "scamming" left and right. With the way our system is set up now there is no other good choice for people in *my* shoes. I'm sorry but there just isn't. Wishing there was, or saying there must be is not the same as there actually being one. Trust me - I know. <br><br>In the end, when we reflect back on our lives, what is really going to matter? Are my family and friends really going to care that I remained "single" so that I could live as long and healthy a life as I could? They are going to remember that I was an honest, loving, caring person who did the best I could with what life threw at me. <br>
 
K

Keepercjr

Guest
I thought I had no more to say but couldn't help respond since it was clear Blessed was talking about me here since I am the only one who mentioned staying home with my kids... And a disclaimer that what I mention pertains to my situation only.<br><br><div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Blessed4Times</b></i>

A CFer claiming to be single to obtain SSI and stay home with their children isn't really any different than a "single" mom who stays home and lives with their child's father but doesn't claim their partner's income in order to collect food stamps, housing, etc. On paper that mom is "single" but in reality that is not the case. They are essentially collecting benefits that they aren't entitled to. </end quote><br><br>I can tell by the language you use (scam, fraud, do the right thing, etc) that you are clearly bothered by my choices in life even though you claim to understand. Me "claiming to be single" (even though I technically AM single) to keep my benefits so I can YES stay home (ie not weaken myself by working) with my kids (and FWIW I would most likely not be working outside the home either if we didn't have kids) is NO WHERE NEAR a healthy able-bodied person living with his/her partner and collecting benefits just to not have to work because they are too lazy. I have to say I am a little offended. I am doing it so I can stay healthy, not so I can have lots of date nights and go on fancy vacations. I have a family member defrauding the system like you described because he learned how to play it in prison - and it infuriates me. But I'm not trading my (very modest) Social Security income and lifelong 100% secure forever health insurance for DH's "fine" health insurance and the possibility of losing it should he ever lose employment just to make people like you feel better. It would cost us almost $2000 per month to compensate for the actual $ and other benefits I'd lose (and $ we would need to pay) if we got married. I don't know where you live but for him to make another $2000 per month anytime soon is out of the question and he has a good job, a college degree and many years of experience! I don't collect food stamps even though I qualify - I don't take WIC even though I qualify - I don't collect welfare (no idea if I qualify or not). <br><br>Remember that we are talking about a rather unique situation here. This isn't a problem that affects most Americans - just a select few. So it isn't like there are millions of us with CF out there "scamming" left and right. With the way our system is set up now there is no other good choice for people in *my* shoes. I'm sorry but there just isn't. Wishing there was, or saying there must be is not the same as there actually being one. Trust me - I know. <br><br>In the end, when we reflect back on our lives, what is really going to matter? Are my family and friends really going to care that I remained "single" so that I could live as long and healthy a life as I could? They are going to remember that I was an honest, loving, caring person who did the best I could with what life threw at me. <br>
 
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