Hey all.<br><br>I have recently become single with a house all by myself and on my own (my fiance left me...I don't want to get into it). I'm scared to death. I'm currently on SSDI, food stamps, working part time and going through school (though it's summer break right now). I now have yards I need kept up, repairs I need done and either have no idea how to do or no money to pay someone else to do it, a ton of chores and bills to pay. The bills haven't put me into debt yet (working part time gives me just enough to get by), but I fear that that's right around the corner. I have rampant mycobacterial infections, fevers, SOB, etc. I'm on O2 part time right now. I can't handle this. I worked earlier today and I just got back from the grocery store and I want to keel over. My fiance at least help me bring the groceries in the house if he didn't/couldn't help me shop. Now it's me, myself, I and a cat. Before I was left with this house to myself, I was seriously seeking help from my friends and family because I feel like my part time job is too much (I've posted several times about this) and I want so much to quit and be able to take a break. Now, I have no choice. I can't pay my car insurance/pharmacy bills/property taxes/utilities with just SSDI. I feel like I've read about some of you living completely on your own. How do you do it? Are you healthier than I am (PFTs are somewhere in the 30s)? What do you do when you're sick? <br><br>My washer/dryer is in the basement and when it's hot out (I only have A/C in my bedroom) I can barely make it up the steps WITHOUT carrying a full laundry basket. I also have cfrd and have had some pretty bad low blood sugars...bad enough that being alone could land me in the hospital. I've thought about getting a roomie, but I haven't found anyone out of my circle of family or friends that I feel comfortable living with. My parents have offered to let me move back home in a month or so (they're having work done that prevents me from moving in any day) but I'm almost 26 years old and feel really embarrassed, and almost ashamed, that I may need to move back in with my parents because I'm not healthy enough to take care of myself and a home. That wouldn't be an easy transition either...I have a house full of stuff (including a pet) and I'd be moving back into a single bedroom.<br><br>Actually, I'm sorry this sort of went from "what to do when you're sick and alone" to "I'm scared and overwhelmed", that was not my intention. Do any of you have any bits of wisdom or suggestions for me? Am I overreacting about living alone or am I crazy for even trying? Those of you living alone, how do you take care of your self and the rest of your life when you're sick? Have any of you had to give up your independence completely because of your health?<br><br>Again, sorry this post is all over the place...that's where my mind is right now, lol. Thanks for any input!<br>
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living alone and being sick
- Thread starter ej0820
- Start date
Hey all.<br><br>I have recently become single with a house all by myself and on my own (my fiance left me...I don't want to get into it). I'm scared to death. I'm currently on SSDI, food stamps, working part time and going through school (though it's summer break right now). I now have yards I need kept up, repairs I need done and either have no idea how to do or no money to pay someone else to do it, a ton of chores and bills to pay. The bills haven't put me into debt yet (working part time gives me just enough to get by), but I fear that that's right around the corner. I have rampant mycobacterial infections, fevers, SOB, etc. I'm on O2 part time right now. I can't handle this. I worked earlier today and I just got back from the grocery store and I want to keel over. My fiance at least help me bring the groceries in the house if he didn't/couldn't help me shop. Now it's me, myself, I and a cat. Before I was left with this house to myself, I was seriously seeking help from my friends and family because I feel like my part time job is too much (I've posted several times about this) and I want so much to quit and be able to take a break. Now, I have no choice. I can't pay my car insurance/pharmacy bills/property taxes/utilities with just SSDI. I feel like I've read about some of you living completely on your own. How do you do it? Are you healthier than I am (PFTs are somewhere in the 30s)? What do you do when you're sick? <br><br>My washer/dryer is in the basement and when it's hot out (I only have A/C in my bedroom) I can barely make it up the steps WITHOUT carrying a full laundry basket. I also have cfrd and have had some pretty bad low blood sugars...bad enough that being alone could land me in the hospital. I've thought about getting a roomie, but I haven't found anyone out of my circle of family or friends that I feel comfortable living with. My parents have offered to let me move back home in a month or so (they're having work done that prevents me from moving in any day) but I'm almost 26 years old and feel really embarrassed, and almost ashamed, that I may need to move back in with my parents because I'm not healthy enough to take care of myself and a home. That wouldn't be an easy transition either...I have a house full of stuff (including a pet) and I'd be moving back into a single bedroom.<br><br>Actually, I'm sorry this sort of went from "what to do when you're sick and alone" to "I'm scared and overwhelmed", that was not my intention. Do any of you have any bits of wisdom or suggestions for me? Am I overreacting about living alone or am I crazy for even trying? Those of you living alone, how do you take care of your self and the rest of your life when you're sick? Have any of you had to give up your independence completely because of your health?<br><br>Again, sorry this post is all over the place...that's where my mind is right now, lol. Thanks for any input!<br>
Hey all.<br><br>I have recently become single with a house all by myself and on my own (my fiance left me...I don't want to get into it). I'm scared to death. I'm currently on SSDI, food stamps, working part time and going through school (though it's summer break right now). I now have yards I need kept up, repairs I need done and either have no idea how to do or no money to pay someone else to do it, a ton of chores and bills to pay. The bills haven't put me into debt yet (working part time gives me just enough to get by), but I fear that that's right around the corner. I have rampant mycobacterial infections, fevers, SOB, etc. I'm on O2 part time right now. I can't handle this. I worked earlier today and I just got back from the grocery store and I want to keel over. My fiance at least help me bring the groceries in the house if he didn't/couldn't help me shop. Now it's me, myself, I and a cat. Before I was left with this house to myself, I was seriously seeking help from my friends and family because I feel like my part time job is too much (I've posted several times about this) and I want so much to quit and be able to take a break. Now, I have no choice. I can't pay my car insurance/pharmacy bills/property taxes/utilities with just SSDI. I feel like I've read about some of you living completely on your own. How do you do it? Are you healthier than I am (PFTs are somewhere in the 30s)? What do you do when you're sick? <br><br>My washer/dryer is in the basement and when it's hot out (I only have A/C in my bedroom) I can barely make it up the steps WITHOUT carrying a full laundry basket. I also have cfrd and have had some pretty bad low blood sugars...bad enough that being alone could land me in the hospital. I've thought about getting a roomie, but I haven't found anyone out of my circle of family or friends that I feel comfortable living with. My parents have offered to let me move back home in a month or so (they're having work done that prevents me from moving in any day) but I'm almost 26 years old and feel really embarrassed, and almost ashamed, that I may need to move back in with my parents because I'm not healthy enough to take care of myself and a home. That wouldn't be an easy transition either...I have a house full of stuff (including a pet) and I'd be moving back into a single bedroom.<br><br>Actually, I'm sorry this sort of went from "what to do when you're sick and alone" to "I'm scared and overwhelmed", that was not my intention. Do any of you have any bits of wisdom or suggestions for me? Am I overreacting about living alone or am I crazy for even trying? Those of you living alone, how do you take care of your self and the rest of your life when you're sick? Have any of you had to give up your independence completely because of your health?<br><br>Again, sorry this post is all over the place...that's where my mind is right now, lol. Thanks for any input!<br>
StillFighting
New member
Erin,
My personal experience has taught me that it is OK to ask for help when one is completely overwhelmed. However, you have to feel comfortable in doing so. The reality of this disease is that at some point in our lives, we will lose our independence, because we will not be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. From what I hear, your parents would be willing to support you if necessary. This is one option. Do you have a brother/sister than can assist you in your time of need? Are other friends available that can help you with physical chores?
Is selling your home and moving into a smaller appartment/condo an option?
Bear in mind that there is no shame in asking for help. I have learned that most people will willingly assist if you just ask them.
I am not certain if this reply will help. But I want you to consider all options that you have at your disposal.
Ana
My personal experience has taught me that it is OK to ask for help when one is completely overwhelmed. However, you have to feel comfortable in doing so. The reality of this disease is that at some point in our lives, we will lose our independence, because we will not be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. From what I hear, your parents would be willing to support you if necessary. This is one option. Do you have a brother/sister than can assist you in your time of need? Are other friends available that can help you with physical chores?
Is selling your home and moving into a smaller appartment/condo an option?
Bear in mind that there is no shame in asking for help. I have learned that most people will willingly assist if you just ask them.
I am not certain if this reply will help. But I want you to consider all options that you have at your disposal.
Ana
StillFighting
New member
Erin,
My personal experience has taught me that it is OK to ask for help when one is completely overwhelmed. However, you have to feel comfortable in doing so. The reality of this disease is that at some point in our lives, we will lose our independence, because we will not be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. From what I hear, your parents would be willing to support you if necessary. This is one option. Do you have a brother/sister than can assist you in your time of need? Are other friends available that can help you with physical chores?
Is selling your home and moving into a smaller appartment/condo an option?
Bear in mind that there is no shame in asking for help. I have learned that most people will willingly assist if you just ask them.
I am not certain if this reply will help. But I want you to consider all options that you have at your disposal.
Ana
My personal experience has taught me that it is OK to ask for help when one is completely overwhelmed. However, you have to feel comfortable in doing so. The reality of this disease is that at some point in our lives, we will lose our independence, because we will not be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. From what I hear, your parents would be willing to support you if necessary. This is one option. Do you have a brother/sister than can assist you in your time of need? Are other friends available that can help you with physical chores?
Is selling your home and moving into a smaller appartment/condo an option?
Bear in mind that there is no shame in asking for help. I have learned that most people will willingly assist if you just ask them.
I am not certain if this reply will help. But I want you to consider all options that you have at your disposal.
Ana
StillFighting
New member
Erin,
<br />
<br />My personal experience has taught me that it is OK to ask for help when one is completely overwhelmed. However, you have to feel comfortable in doing so. The reality of this disease is that at some point in our lives, we will lose our independence, because we will not be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. From what I hear, your parents would be willing to support you if necessary. This is one option. Do you have a brother/sister than can assist you in your time of need? Are other friends available that can help you with physical chores?
<br />
<br />Is selling your home and moving into a smaller appartment/condo an option?
<br />
<br />Bear in mind that there is no shame in asking for help. I have learned that most people will willingly assist if you just ask them.
<br />
<br />I am not certain if this reply will help. But I want you to consider all options that you have at your disposal.
<br />
<br />Ana
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />My personal experience has taught me that it is OK to ask for help when one is completely overwhelmed. However, you have to feel comfortable in doing so. The reality of this disease is that at some point in our lives, we will lose our independence, because we will not be healthy enough to take care of ourselves. From what I hear, your parents would be willing to support you if necessary. This is one option. Do you have a brother/sister than can assist you in your time of need? Are other friends available that can help you with physical chores?
<br />
<br />Is selling your home and moving into a smaller appartment/condo an option?
<br />
<br />Bear in mind that there is no shame in asking for help. I have learned that most people will willingly assist if you just ask them.
<br />
<br />I am not certain if this reply will help. But I want you to consider all options that you have at your disposal.
<br />
<br />Ana
<br />
<br />
icefisherman
New member
<P>WOW! I'm sorry i don't have any advise, but it is freakishly like my situation right now. My wife is leaving me after 8 years. We are on good terms and actually the things you mentioned are what she is worried about lol. This week i went to the doc and my fev1's were in the low 30's. I mow the lawn do the trash and maintain the house. My job isn't good for me, but it pays the bills. Now i have no backup. Its scary, it's hard, but my outlook is its life. life, good or for bad is always a great thing. Embrace it and make the most out of it. </P>
<P>Ben</P>
<P>Ben</P>
icefisherman
New member
<P>WOW! I'm sorry i don't have any advise, but it is freakishly like my situation right now. My wife is leaving me after 8 years. We are on good terms and actually the things you mentioned are what she is worried about lol. This week i went to the doc and my fev1's were in the low 30's. I mow the lawn do the trash and maintain the house. My job isn't good for me, but it pays the bills. Now i have no backup. Its scary, it's hard, but my outlook is its life.life, good or for bad is always a great thing. Embrace it and make the most out of it. </P>
<P>Ben</P>
<P>Ben</P>
icefisherman
New member
<P><BR>WOW! I'm sorry i don't have any advise, but it is freakishly like my situation right now. My wife is leaving me after 8 years. We are on good terms and actually the things you mentioned are what she is worried about lol. This week i went to the doc and my fev1's were in the low 30's. I mow the lawn do the trash and maintain the house. My job isn't good for me, but it pays the bills. Now i have no backup. Its scary, it's hard, but my outlook is its life.life, good or for bad is always a great thing. Embrace it and make the most out of it. </P>
<P>Ben</P>
<P>Ben</P>
musclemania70
New member
Even though finding a roomate would be difficult with someone you don't know and sharing the details of your health would be hard, it might be the best option for getting some extra money brought in. You would have full control over interviewing and selecting this person...sometimes an older person may not seem like the 'coolest' person, but they would more likely be more understanding and mature about your circumstances.
Other than that, I was in the same boat for a while and it was looking like I would need to move back in with my parents. Don't be afraid to do so. They are there to help you and if you have parents that are willing to share in your struggles, don't be too proud to let them help. You are not like everyone else. You are different and your circumstances require extra help. No shame in that.
Once you move in with them, you will feel so relieved that you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. Loss of independence will be worth the extra help they will provide. Be grateful to have family who want to help.
Other than that, I was in the same boat for a while and it was looking like I would need to move back in with my parents. Don't be afraid to do so. They are there to help you and if you have parents that are willing to share in your struggles, don't be too proud to let them help. You are not like everyone else. You are different and your circumstances require extra help. No shame in that.
Once you move in with them, you will feel so relieved that you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. Loss of independence will be worth the extra help they will provide. Be grateful to have family who want to help.
musclemania70
New member
Even though finding a roomate would be difficult with someone you don't know and sharing the details of your health would be hard, it might be the best option for getting some extra money brought in. You would have full control over interviewing and selecting this person...sometimes an older person may not seem like the 'coolest' person, but they would more likely be more understanding and mature about your circumstances.
Other than that, I was in the same boat for a while and it was looking like I would need to move back in with my parents. Don't be afraid to do so. They are there to help you and if you have parents that are willing to share in your struggles, don't be too proud to let them help. You are not like everyone else. You are different and your circumstances require extra help. No shame in that.
Once you move in with them, you will feel so relieved that you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. Loss of independence will be worth the extra help they will provide. Be grateful to have family who want to help.
Other than that, I was in the same boat for a while and it was looking like I would need to move back in with my parents. Don't be afraid to do so. They are there to help you and if you have parents that are willing to share in your struggles, don't be too proud to let them help. You are not like everyone else. You are different and your circumstances require extra help. No shame in that.
Once you move in with them, you will feel so relieved that you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. Loss of independence will be worth the extra help they will provide. Be grateful to have family who want to help.
musclemania70
New member
Even though finding a roomate would be difficult with someone you don't know and sharing the details of your health would be hard, it might be the best option for getting some extra money brought in. You would have full control over interviewing and selecting this person...sometimes an older person may not seem like the 'coolest' person, but they would more likely be more understanding and mature about your circumstances.
<br />
<br />Other than that, I was in the same boat for a while and it was looking like I would need to move back in with my parents. Don't be afraid to do so. They are there to help you and if you have parents that are willing to share in your struggles, don't be too proud to let them help. You are not like everyone else. You are different and your circumstances require extra help. No shame in that.
<br />
<br />Once you move in with them, you will feel so relieved that you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. Loss of independence will be worth the extra help they will provide. Be grateful to have family who want to help.
<br />
<br />Other than that, I was in the same boat for a while and it was looking like I would need to move back in with my parents. Don't be afraid to do so. They are there to help you and if you have parents that are willing to share in your struggles, don't be too proud to let them help. You are not like everyone else. You are different and your circumstances require extra help. No shame in that.
<br />
<br />Once you move in with them, you will feel so relieved that you will wonder why you didn't do it earlier. Loss of independence will be worth the extra help they will provide. Be grateful to have family who want to help.
Hi,
I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Prior to my transplant I lived with a fabulous roomate. When she first moved in, she had no idea I had CF but of course it became obvious right off the bat. She ended up helping me with my piccs, and with household chores. However, after a while, my illness really caught up with me and I was forced to really sit back and think about things. I had gotten to the point, where I couldnt get the groceries up the stairs without stopping two or three times then having to rest before putting them away, I couldnt carry my laundry from one end of the apartment to the other without resting, etc. I was in denial that I needed more help ( I am fiercely independent). At one point though, it became obvious that I needed more help then my roomie could give me, and with alot of anger and tears I realzied that I had to move home. I totally can emphathize with the fact that you are 26 and want to be independent, I was 27, but once you get over the frustration of needing help, and accept it, life becomes so much easier. Being at home let me rest when I needed to, I had help whenever I needed it, I didnt have to worry about the trash not being taken out or the fact that I had left laundry in the washer, because my family understood.
I am not saying, " GO HOME" but I am saying that it is an option you should seriously consider.
I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Prior to my transplant I lived with a fabulous roomate. When she first moved in, she had no idea I had CF but of course it became obvious right off the bat. She ended up helping me with my piccs, and with household chores. However, after a while, my illness really caught up with me and I was forced to really sit back and think about things. I had gotten to the point, where I couldnt get the groceries up the stairs without stopping two or three times then having to rest before putting them away, I couldnt carry my laundry from one end of the apartment to the other without resting, etc. I was in denial that I needed more help ( I am fiercely independent). At one point though, it became obvious that I needed more help then my roomie could give me, and with alot of anger and tears I realzied that I had to move home. I totally can emphathize with the fact that you are 26 and want to be independent, I was 27, but once you get over the frustration of needing help, and accept it, life becomes so much easier. Being at home let me rest when I needed to, I had help whenever I needed it, I didnt have to worry about the trash not being taken out or the fact that I had left laundry in the washer, because my family understood.
I am not saying, " GO HOME" but I am saying that it is an option you should seriously consider.
Hi,
I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Prior to my transplant I lived with a fabulous roomate. When she first moved in, she had no idea I had CF but of course it became obvious right off the bat. She ended up helping me with my piccs, and with household chores. However, after a while, my illness really caught up with me and I was forced to really sit back and think about things. I had gotten to the point, where I couldnt get the groceries up the stairs without stopping two or three times then having to rest before putting them away, I couldnt carry my laundry from one end of the apartment to the other without resting, etc. I was in denial that I needed more help ( I am fiercely independent). At one point though, it became obvious that I needed more help then my roomie could give me, and with alot of anger and tears I realzied that I had to move home. I totally can emphathize with the fact that you are 26 and want to be independent, I was 27, but once you get over the frustration of needing help, and accept it, life becomes so much easier. Being at home let me rest when I needed to, I had help whenever I needed it, I didnt have to worry about the trash not being taken out or the fact that I had left laundry in the washer, because my family understood.
I am not saying, " GO HOME" but I am saying that it is an option you should seriously consider.
I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Prior to my transplant I lived with a fabulous roomate. When she first moved in, she had no idea I had CF but of course it became obvious right off the bat. She ended up helping me with my piccs, and with household chores. However, after a while, my illness really caught up with me and I was forced to really sit back and think about things. I had gotten to the point, where I couldnt get the groceries up the stairs without stopping two or three times then having to rest before putting them away, I couldnt carry my laundry from one end of the apartment to the other without resting, etc. I was in denial that I needed more help ( I am fiercely independent). At one point though, it became obvious that I needed more help then my roomie could give me, and with alot of anger and tears I realzied that I had to move home. I totally can emphathize with the fact that you are 26 and want to be independent, I was 27, but once you get over the frustration of needing help, and accept it, life becomes so much easier. Being at home let me rest when I needed to, I had help whenever I needed it, I didnt have to worry about the trash not being taken out or the fact that I had left laundry in the washer, because my family understood.
I am not saying, " GO HOME" but I am saying that it is an option you should seriously consider.
Hi,
<br />I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Prior to my transplant I lived with a fabulous roomate. When she first moved in, she had no idea I had CF but of course it became obvious right off the bat. She ended up helping me with my piccs, and with household chores. However, after a while, my illness really caught up with me and I was forced to really sit back and think about things. I had gotten to the point, where I couldnt get the groceries up the stairs without stopping two or three times then having to rest before putting them away, I couldnt carry my laundry from one end of the apartment to the other without resting, etc. I was in denial that I needed more help ( I am fiercely independent). At one point though, it became obvious that I needed more help then my roomie could give me, and with alot of anger and tears I realzied that I had to move home. I totally can emphathize with the fact that you are 26 and want to be independent, I was 27, but once you get over the frustration of needing help, and accept it, life becomes so much easier. Being at home let me rest when I needed to, I had help whenever I needed it, I didnt have to worry about the trash not being taken out or the fact that I had left laundry in the washer, because my family understood.
<br />I am not saying, " GO HOME" but I am saying that it is an option you should seriously consider.
<br />I can only image how difficult this must be for you. Prior to my transplant I lived with a fabulous roomate. When she first moved in, she had no idea I had CF but of course it became obvious right off the bat. She ended up helping me with my piccs, and with household chores. However, after a while, my illness really caught up with me and I was forced to really sit back and think about things. I had gotten to the point, where I couldnt get the groceries up the stairs without stopping two or three times then having to rest before putting them away, I couldnt carry my laundry from one end of the apartment to the other without resting, etc. I was in denial that I needed more help ( I am fiercely independent). At one point though, it became obvious that I needed more help then my roomie could give me, and with alot of anger and tears I realzied that I had to move home. I totally can emphathize with the fact that you are 26 and want to be independent, I was 27, but once you get over the frustration of needing help, and accept it, life becomes so much easier. Being at home let me rest when I needed to, I had help whenever I needed it, I didnt have to worry about the trash not being taken out or the fact that I had left laundry in the washer, because my family understood.
<br />I am not saying, " GO HOME" but I am saying that it is an option you should seriously consider.
R
rarab43
Guest
I am a mom to a 25 yr old with CF and I know he would hate to move home -He is pretty self sufficient - I help him some with cleaning and more things if hes sick. I was wondering if maybe you could find someone to volunteer some to help you- I know if I knew of someone who needed help I would be glad to. Is there a church you could ask or maybe some close friends? I live in a town recently devastated by tornados and the volunteer effort has been wonderful. It just makes people feel good to help when they can. Hoping you can find a solution to get help while being able to stay in your home.
R
rarab43
Guest
I am a mom to a 25 yr old with CF and I know he would hate to move home -He is pretty self sufficient - I help him some with cleaning and more things if hes sick. I was wondering if maybe you could find someone to volunteer some to help you- I know if I knew of someone who needed help I would be glad to. Is there a church you could ask or maybe some close friends? I live in a town recently devastated by tornados and the volunteer effort has been wonderful. It just makes people feel good to help when they can. Hoping you can find a solution to get help while being able to stay in your home.