Loving and and being a Caregiver to a CFer

[TestifyToLove]

I'm a parent and not a spouse. However, I'm an intentional parent. By that I mean that my Dh and I knowingly and intentionally choose to adopt a son with CF. We choose to expose our other 6 children to this life and to what the future is going to hold. We did all of this knowing he had CF, knowing he was terminal and knowing that his CF is significant and his days may be even more numbered than most CFers.

So, why do you intentionally embark upon this life when it wasn't given to you? For some very simple reasons. We strongly felt that everyone deserves to be loved. And, that having CF should not mean a person is somehow less deserving of love. If anything, the complication of CF should mean you love harder and stronger because you just don't have time to play around without that love.

We have been asked how we intend to handle the fact that we will bury this child. Not only that, but we will force our 6 healthy children to bury their brother. How can we do this to ourselves and these children. And, the answer is how can we not? How can we see this child knowing he has lived without love and realize that if we do not love him, he could die without knowing that love? How can we expect him to understand that because he has CF the world wants to guard their hearts from him and walk away from him?

Absolutely not. We want to love this child. We understand that in this journey we are all going to learn to allow our hearts to walk outside of our bodies. And, when we finally have to say good-bye, a part of each one of us will die with this child. But, to know that he will live surrounded by love, by family and by those who will fight for him and will comfort him, care for him and stand beside him, that is the honor. Whenever that day finally comes we will have been blessed and honored to have known him, to have loved him and to stand there as say good-bye to him.

And, I hope when the final day comes, I hope that he will fully know what it means to be loved and will be at peace at what his life has been. I know its vital that my other 6 children understand that loving someone is not about what they will give us back, but about what we can give them by loving them. Loving this child is about learning to do the selfless and to embrace him for eternity. I hope that he will live on in their hearts, and in the hearts of their children and grandchildren as the child who taught every one of us in this family what it means to stand as a family and to love and support someone even when you face the worst.

We took this step because we had love to give to a child. We took it with this child because he needed someone to love him. Its really just as simple as that.

 

[TestifyToLove]

I'm a parent and not a spouse. However, I'm an intentional parent. By that I mean that my Dh and I knowingly and intentionally choose to adopt a son with CF. We choose to expose our other 6 children to this life and to what the future is going to hold. We did all of this knowing he had CF, knowing he was terminal and knowing that his CF is significant and his days may be even more numbered than most CFers.

So, why do you intentionally embark upon this life when it wasn't given to you? For some very simple reasons. We strongly felt that everyone deserves to be loved. And, that having CF should not mean a person is somehow less deserving of love. If anything, the complication of CF should mean you love harder and stronger because you just don't have time to play around without that love.

We have been asked how we intend to handle the fact that we will bury this child. Not only that, but we will force our 6 healthy children to bury their brother. How can we do this to ourselves and these children. And, the answer is how can we not? How can we see this child knowing he has lived without love and realize that if we do not love him, he could die without knowing that love? How can we expect him to understand that because he has CF the world wants to guard their hearts from him and walk away from him?

Absolutely not. We want to love this child. We understand that in this journey we are all going to learn to allow our hearts to walk outside of our bodies. And, when we finally have to say good-bye, a part of each one of us will die with this child. But, to know that he will live surrounded by love, by family and by those who will fight for him and will comfort him, care for him and stand beside him, that is the honor. Whenever that day finally comes we will have been blessed and honored to have known him, to have loved him and to stand there as say good-bye to him.

And, I hope when the final day comes, I hope that he will fully know what it means to be loved and will be at peace at what his life has been. I know its vital that my other 6 children understand that loving someone is not about what they will give us back, but about what we can give them by loving them. Loving this child is about learning to do the selfless and to embrace him for eternity. I hope that he will live on in their hearts, and in the hearts of their children and grandchildren as the child who taught every one of us in this family what it means to stand as a family and to love and support someone even when you face the worst.

We took this step because we had love to give to a child. We took it with this child because he needed someone to love him. Its really just as simple as that.

 

[TestifyToLove]

I'm a parent and not a spouse. However, I'm an intentional parent. By that I mean that my Dh and I knowingly and intentionally choose to adopt a son with CF. We choose to expose our other 6 children to this life and to what the future is going to hold. We did all of this knowing he had CF, knowing he was terminal and knowing that his CF is significant and his days may be even more numbered than most CFers.

So, why do you intentionally embark upon this life when it wasn't given to you? For some very simple reasons. We strongly felt that everyone deserves to be loved. And, that having CF should not mean a person is somehow less deserving of love. If anything, the complication of CF should mean you love harder and stronger because you just don't have time to play around without that love.

We have been asked how we intend to handle the fact that we will bury this child. Not only that, but we will force our 6 healthy children to bury their brother. How can we do this to ourselves and these children. And, the answer is how can we not? How can we see this child knowing he has lived without love and realize that if we do not love him, he could die without knowing that love? How can we expect him to understand that because he has CF the world wants to guard their hearts from him and walk away from him?

Absolutely not. We want to love this child. We understand that in this journey we are all going to learn to allow our hearts to walk outside of our bodies. And, when we finally have to say good-bye, a part of each one of us will die with this child. But, to know that he will live surrounded by love, by family and by those who will fight for him and will comfort him, care for him and stand beside him, that is the honor. Whenever that day finally comes we will have been blessed and honored to have known him, to have loved him and to stand there as say good-bye to him.

And, I hope when the final day comes, I hope that he will fully know what it means to be loved and will be at peace at what his life has been. I know its vital that my other 6 children understand that loving someone is not about what they will give us back, but about what we can give them by loving them. Loving this child is about learning to do the selfless and to embrace him for eternity. I hope that he will live on in their hearts, and in the hearts of their children and grandchildren as the child who taught every one of us in this family what it means to stand as a family and to love and support someone even when you face the worst.

We took this step because we had love to give to a child. We took it with this child because he needed someone to love him. Its really just as simple as that.

 

[TestifyToLove]

I'm a parent and not a spouse. However, I'm an intentional parent. By that I mean that my Dh and I knowingly and intentionally choose to adopt a son with CF. We choose to expose our other 6 children to this life and to what the future is going to hold. We did all of this knowing he had CF, knowing he was terminal and knowing that his CF is significant and his days may be even more numbered than most CFers.

So, why do you intentionally embark upon this life when it wasn't given to you? For some very simple reasons. We strongly felt that everyone deserves to be loved. And, that having CF should not mean a person is somehow less deserving of love. If anything, the complication of CF should mean you love harder and stronger because you just don't have time to play around without that love.

We have been asked how we intend to handle the fact that we will bury this child. Not only that, but we will force our 6 healthy children to bury their brother. How can we do this to ourselves and these children. And, the answer is how can we not? How can we see this child knowing he has lived without love and realize that if we do not love him, he could die without knowing that love? How can we expect him to understand that because he has CF the world wants to guard their hearts from him and walk away from him?

Absolutely not. We want to love this child. We understand that in this journey we are all going to learn to allow our hearts to walk outside of our bodies. And, when we finally have to say good-bye, a part of each one of us will die with this child. But, to know that he will live surrounded by love, by family and by those who will fight for him and will comfort him, care for him and stand beside him, that is the honor. Whenever that day finally comes we will have been blessed and honored to have known him, to have loved him and to stand there as say good-bye to him.

And, I hope when the final day comes, I hope that he will fully know what it means to be loved and will be at peace at what his life has been. I know its vital that my other 6 children understand that loving someone is not about what they will give us back, but about what we can give them by loving them. Loving this child is about learning to do the selfless and to embrace him for eternity. I hope that he will live on in their hearts, and in the hearts of their children and grandchildren as the child who taught every one of us in this family what it means to stand as a family and to love and support someone even when you face the worst.

We took this step because we had love to give to a child. We took it with this child because he needed someone to love him. Its really just as simple as that.

 

[TestifyToLove]

I'm a parent and not a spouse. However, I'm an intentional parent. By that I mean that my Dh and I knowingly and intentionally choose to adopt a son with CF. We choose to expose our other 6 children to this life and to what the future is going to hold. We did all of this knowing he had CF, knowing he was terminal and knowing that his CF is significant and his days may be even more numbered than most CFers.
<br />
<br />So, why do you intentionally embark upon this life when it wasn't given to you? For some very simple reasons. We strongly felt that everyone deserves to be loved. And, that having CF should not mean a person is somehow less deserving of love. If anything, the complication of CF should mean you love harder and stronger because you just don't have time to play around without that love.
<br />
<br />We have been asked how we intend to handle the fact that we will bury this child. Not only that, but we will force our 6 healthy children to bury their brother. How can we do this to ourselves and these children. And, the answer is how can we not? How can we see this child knowing he has lived without love and realize that if we do not love him, he could die without knowing that love? How can we expect him to understand that because he has CF the world wants to guard their hearts from him and walk away from him?
<br />
<br />Absolutely not. We want to love this child. We understand that in this journey we are all going to learn to allow our hearts to walk outside of our bodies. And, when we finally have to say good-bye, a part of each one of us will die with this child. But, to know that he will live surrounded by love, by family and by those who will fight for him and will comfort him, care for him and stand beside him, that is the honor. Whenever that day finally comes we will have been blessed and honored to have known him, to have loved him and to stand there as say good-bye to him.
<br />
<br />And, I hope when the final day comes, I hope that he will fully know what it means to be loved and will be at peace at what his life has been. I know its vital that my other 6 children understand that loving someone is not about what they will give us back, but about what we can give them by loving them. Loving this child is about learning to do the selfless and to embrace him for eternity. I hope that he will live on in their hearts, and in the hearts of their children and grandchildren as the child who taught every one of us in this family what it means to stand as a family and to love and support someone even when you face the worst.
<br />
<br />We took this step because we had love to give to a child. We took it with this child because he needed someone to love him. Its really just as simple as that.

 

[BreatheHope]

I agree with the sentiments posted above. I think that no one should ever give up on love. Finding love in your life is a great blessing, and in my opinion, you can't give up on that because there may be challenges in the future. Everyone faces challenges. The challenge of CF is a big one, but if you love each other, it is worth it to face it together.

I've been married for almost a year to my husband who has CF. I had a lot of fears when we were dating and I first learned about CF. My biggest fear is that I won't be strong enough to handle it when things get harder in the future. Luckily, both of us have very supportive families, and I have a strong faith that God will give me the strength I need. Having to face the fears that I've had has only strengthened our relationship and made me a stronger person over all.

I am so glad that we got married, and would never change that decision, no matter how much time we end up having together. I would regret never having this experience much more than I would regret choosing to deal with CF and all its consequences.

One thing that helps me is to focus on all the reasons we have to be hopeful. I have researched everything that I can on CF, and have found so much encouraging information on progress in treatments and therapies. The website I have linked in my profile gives more details about why we can be hopeful; making this website has been a great experience and has made me feel much more confident about our future together. Interacting with people on these forums has also shown me that there are many CF patients who are living full, happy lives. I believe my husband and I will also live a full happy life, regardless of how much time we have together.

Best of luck to you both - I hope you work this out, and can gain the support of Talia's family.

 

[BreatheHope]

I agree with the sentiments posted above. I think that no one should ever give up on love. Finding love in your life is a great blessing, and in my opinion, you can't give up on that because there may be challenges in the future. Everyone faces challenges. The challenge of CF is a big one, but if you love each other, it is worth it to face it together.

I've been married for almost a year to my husband who has CF. I had a lot of fears when we were dating and I first learned about CF. My biggest fear is that I won't be strong enough to handle it when things get harder in the future. Luckily, both of us have very supportive families, and I have a strong faith that God will give me the strength I need. Having to face the fears that I've had has only strengthened our relationship and made me a stronger person over all.

I am so glad that we got married, and would never change that decision, no matter how much time we end up having together. I would regret never having this experience much more than I would regret choosing to deal with CF and all its consequences.

One thing that helps me is to focus on all the reasons we have to be hopeful. I have researched everything that I can on CF, and have found so much encouraging information on progress in treatments and therapies. The website I have linked in my profile gives more details about why we can be hopeful; making this website has been a great experience and has made me feel much more confident about our future together. Interacting with people on these forums has also shown me that there are many CF patients who are living full, happy lives. I believe my husband and I will also live a full happy life, regardless of how much time we have together.

Best of luck to you both - I hope you work this out, and can gain the support of Talia's family.

 

[BreatheHope]

I agree with the sentiments posted above. I think that no one should ever give up on love. Finding love in your life is a great blessing, and in my opinion, you can't give up on that because there may be challenges in the future. Everyone faces challenges. The challenge of CF is a big one, but if you love each other, it is worth it to face it together.

I've been married for almost a year to my husband who has CF. I had a lot of fears when we were dating and I first learned about CF. My biggest fear is that I won't be strong enough to handle it when things get harder in the future. Luckily, both of us have very supportive families, and I have a strong faith that God will give me the strength I need. Having to face the fears that I've had has only strengthened our relationship and made me a stronger person over all.

I am so glad that we got married, and would never change that decision, no matter how much time we end up having together. I would regret never having this experience much more than I would regret choosing to deal with CF and all its consequences.

One thing that helps me is to focus on all the reasons we have to be hopeful. I have researched everything that I can on CF, and have found so much encouraging information on progress in treatments and therapies. The website I have linked in my profile gives more details about why we can be hopeful; making this website has been a great experience and has made me feel much more confident about our future together. Interacting with people on these forums has also shown me that there are many CF patients who are living full, happy lives. I believe my husband and I will also live a full happy life, regardless of how much time we have together.

Best of luck to you both - I hope you work this out, and can gain the support of Talia's family.

 

[BreatheHope]

I agree with the sentiments posted above. I think that no one should ever give up on love. Finding love in your life is a great blessing, and in my opinion, you can't give up on that because there may be challenges in the future. Everyone faces challenges. The challenge of CF is a big one, but if you love each other, it is worth it to face it together.

I've been married for almost a year to my husband who has CF. I had a lot of fears when we were dating and I first learned about CF. My biggest fear is that I won't be strong enough to handle it when things get harder in the future. Luckily, both of us have very supportive families, and I have a strong faith that God will give me the strength I need. Having to face the fears that I've had has only strengthened our relationship and made me a stronger person over all.

I am so glad that we got married, and would never change that decision, no matter how much time we end up having together. I would regret never having this experience much more than I would regret choosing to deal with CF and all its consequences.

One thing that helps me is to focus on all the reasons we have to be hopeful. I have researched everything that I can on CF, and have found so much encouraging information on progress in treatments and therapies. The website I have linked in my profile gives more details about why we can be hopeful; making this website has been a great experience and has made me feel much more confident about our future together. Interacting with people on these forums has also shown me that there are many CF patients who are living full, happy lives. I believe my husband and I will also live a full happy life, regardless of how much time we have together.

Best of luck to you both - I hope you work this out, and can gain the support of Talia's family.

 

[BreatheHope]

I agree with the sentiments posted above. I think that no one should ever give up on love. Finding love in your life is a great blessing, and in my opinion, you can't give up on that because there may be challenges in the future. Everyone faces challenges. The challenge of CF is a big one, but if you love each other, it is worth it to face it together.
<br />
<br />I've been married for almost a year to my husband who has CF. I had a lot of fears when we were dating and I first learned about CF. My biggest fear is that I won't be strong enough to handle it when things get harder in the future. Luckily, both of us have very supportive families, and I have a strong faith that God will give me the strength I need. Having to face the fears that I've had has only strengthened our relationship and made me a stronger person over all.
<br />
<br />I am so glad that we got married, and would never change that decision, no matter how much time we end up having together. I would regret never having this experience much more than I would regret choosing to deal with CF and all its consequences.
<br />
<br />One thing that helps me is to focus on all the reasons we have to be hopeful. I have researched everything that I can on CF, and have found so much encouraging information on progress in treatments and therapies. The website I have linked in my profile gives more details about why we can be hopeful; making this website has been a great experience and has made me feel much more confident about our future together. Interacting with people on these forums has also shown me that there are many CF patients who are living full, happy lives. I believe my husband and I will also live a full happy life, regardless of how much time we have together.
<br />
<br />Best of luck to you both - I hope you work this out, and can gain the support of Talia's family.

 

[JazzysMom]

I understand the obvious.....wanting what appears best for your daughter. However; I know many people who have married the "perfect" person just to end up miserable.

I am not saying CF will be a walk in the park. What I am saying is that those walks in the park will be more meaningful then any that she could have with another.....

What if she was never to find the true love like she has with Grendel (Lance) in another person? What if she gave up on this relationship to be destined to loneliness? Which would be the greater loss?

It takes special people to commit to a CFer. Only your daughter knows if SHE is one of these special people....dont under estimate her!

Thank you from just ONE CFer!

 

[JazzysMom]

I understand the obvious.....wanting what appears best for your daughter. However; I know many people who have married the "perfect" person just to end up miserable.

I am not saying CF will be a walk in the park. What I am saying is that those walks in the park will be more meaningful then any that she could have with another.....

What if she was never to find the true love like she has with Grendel (Lance) in another person? What if she gave up on this relationship to be destined to loneliness? Which would be the greater loss?

It takes special people to commit to a CFer. Only your daughter knows if SHE is one of these special people....dont under estimate her!

Thank you from just ONE CFer!

 

[JazzysMom]

I understand the obvious.....wanting what appears best for your daughter. However; I know many people who have married the "perfect" person just to end up miserable.

I am not saying CF will be a walk in the park. What I am saying is that those walks in the park will be more meaningful then any that she could have with another.....

What if she was never to find the true love like she has with Grendel (Lance) in another person? What if she gave up on this relationship to be destined to loneliness? Which would be the greater loss?

It takes special people to commit to a CFer. Only your daughter knows if SHE is one of these special people....dont under estimate her!

Thank you from just ONE CFer!

 

[JazzysMom]

I understand the obvious.....wanting what appears best for your daughter. However; I know many people who have married the "perfect" person just to end up miserable.

I am not saying CF will be a walk in the park. What I am saying is that those walks in the park will be more meaningful then any that she could have with another.....

What if she was never to find the true love like she has with Grendel (Lance) in another person? What if she gave up on this relationship to be destined to loneliness? Which would be the greater loss?

It takes special people to commit to a CFer. Only your daughter knows if SHE is one of these special people....dont under estimate her!

Thank you from just ONE CFer!

 

[JazzysMom]

I understand the obvious.....wanting what appears best for your daughter. However; I know many people who have married the "perfect" person just to end up miserable.
<br />
<br />I am not saying CF will be a walk in the park. What I am saying is that those walks in the park will be more meaningful then any that she could have with another.....
<br />
<br />What if she was never to find the true love like she has with Grendel (Lance) in another person? What if she gave up on this relationship to be destined to loneliness? Which would be the greater loss?
<br />
<br />It takes special people to commit to a CFer. Only your daughter knows if SHE is one of these special people....dont under estimate her!
<br />
<br />Thank you from just ONE CFer!

 

[ElizabethlovesChris]

Grendel: I applaud your courage and honesty for asking for our experience in this arena.

Talia's father and mother: My own parents were quite worried about the future (or lack thereof) I might have with my Chris. Chris was diagnosed at birth and has been a quite 'sick' CF for much of his life. Definite periods of better and worse, but always a minimum of 3 hospital stays per year, each at least 2 weeks in length. We met in high school - I was 14, he was 16. I suppose my parents probably thought it was a young love that would likely break off at some point, but it never did. We got engaged when I was 18, and married when I was 20. There was never any question that I would finish college though (I was valedictorian of our high school & had a scholarship). Marrying Chris is the single most important decision I have ever made in life, as I believe marriage should be viewed. I am not in it for the short haul - it is a lifetime commitment. But words do not begin to describe that marrying Chris was also the single most wonderful, amazing, life-changing, door-opening, fulfilling, made-me-feel-content decision I have ever made. And this is coming from a person that is an awful decision maker; I flounder back and forth on little things and second guess myself on what ifs... but marrying Chris I have NEVER doubted. Have I doubted that I have the strength to do it? Yes. Have I cried many nights that I don't know how I will go on without him one day? Yes. Have I spent holidays & vacations in a hospital room instead of a preferable family living room? Yes. Have we struggled with the decision of whether or not to expand our family of 2 to 3 by adding a child? Yes. (side note: I was tested to see if I was a CF carrier, and it was negative, otherwise we would not have proceeded with having a biological child of our own).

Despite all those difficult questions though, would I trade in having known Chris and falling in love and marrying him and building a life together? Unquestionably NO. I have no idea what is in store for us - I could have 3 more months with him (I plead every day that he is here to see our child be born in July), or I could have 3 more years. Or even 13 more years (Chris laughs at that last one!). But whatever I get, it won't be long enough. Living to be 100 together wouldn't be long enough (but don't get be wrong - that would be INCREDIBLE!!!!). If Talia & Grendel truly have found the person of their dreams in each other (and I don't know them, so that's between them), then it would be a shame not to experience this brief window of time called life without the other by their side.

Talia: I hope to heaven that our worst fears do not come true, but I know in reality they likely will. I hope for you that there are many, many days of bliss in between though.

Good luck to all of you.
Liz

 

[ElizabethlovesChris]

Grendel: I applaud your courage and honesty for asking for our experience in this arena.

Talia's father and mother: My own parents were quite worried about the future (or lack thereof) I might have with my Chris. Chris was diagnosed at birth and has been a quite 'sick' CF for much of his life. Definite periods of better and worse, but always a minimum of 3 hospital stays per year, each at least 2 weeks in length. We met in high school - I was 14, he was 16. I suppose my parents probably thought it was a young love that would likely break off at some point, but it never did. We got engaged when I was 18, and married when I was 20. There was never any question that I would finish college though (I was valedictorian of our high school & had a scholarship). Marrying Chris is the single most important decision I have ever made in life, as I believe marriage should be viewed. I am not in it for the short haul - it is a lifetime commitment. But words do not begin to describe that marrying Chris was also the single most wonderful, amazing, life-changing, door-opening, fulfilling, made-me-feel-content decision I have ever made. And this is coming from a person that is an awful decision maker; I flounder back and forth on little things and second guess myself on what ifs... but marrying Chris I have NEVER doubted. Have I doubted that I have the strength to do it? Yes. Have I cried many nights that I don't know how I will go on without him one day? Yes. Have I spent holidays & vacations in a hospital room instead of a preferable family living room? Yes. Have we struggled with the decision of whether or not to expand our family of 2 to 3 by adding a child? Yes. (side note: I was tested to see if I was a CF carrier, and it was negative, otherwise we would not have proceeded with having a biological child of our own).

Despite all those difficult questions though, would I trade in having known Chris and falling in love and marrying him and building a life together? Unquestionably NO. I have no idea what is in store for us - I could have 3 more months with him (I plead every day that he is here to see our child be born in July), or I could have 3 more years. Or even 13 more years (Chris laughs at that last one!). But whatever I get, it won't be long enough. Living to be 100 together wouldn't be long enough (but don't get be wrong - that would be INCREDIBLE!!!!). If Talia & Grendel truly have found the person of their dreams in each other (and I don't know them, so that's between them), then it would be a shame not to experience this brief window of time called life without the other by their side.

Talia: I hope to heaven that our worst fears do not come true, but I know in reality they likely will. I hope for you that there are many, many days of bliss in between though.

Good luck to all of you.
Liz

 

[ElizabethlovesChris]

Grendel: I applaud your courage and honesty for asking for our experience in this arena.

Talia's father and mother: My own parents were quite worried about the future (or lack thereof) I might have with my Chris. Chris was diagnosed at birth and has been a quite 'sick' CF for much of his life. Definite periods of better and worse, but always a minimum of 3 hospital stays per year, each at least 2 weeks in length. We met in high school - I was 14, he was 16. I suppose my parents probably thought it was a young love that would likely break off at some point, but it never did. We got engaged when I was 18, and married when I was 20. There was never any question that I would finish college though (I was valedictorian of our high school & had a scholarship). Marrying Chris is the single most important decision I have ever made in life, as I believe marriage should be viewed. I am not in it for the short haul - it is a lifetime commitment. But words do not begin to describe that marrying Chris was also the single most wonderful, amazing, life-changing, door-opening, fulfilling, made-me-feel-content decision I have ever made. And this is coming from a person that is an awful decision maker; I flounder back and forth on little things and second guess myself on what ifs... but marrying Chris I have NEVER doubted. Have I doubted that I have the strength to do it? Yes. Have I cried many nights that I don't know how I will go on without him one day? Yes. Have I spent holidays & vacations in a hospital room instead of a preferable family living room? Yes. Have we struggled with the decision of whether or not to expand our family of 2 to 3 by adding a child? Yes. (side note: I was tested to see if I was a CF carrier, and it was negative, otherwise we would not have proceeded with having a biological child of our own).

Despite all those difficult questions though, would I trade in having known Chris and falling in love and marrying him and building a life together? Unquestionably NO. I have no idea what is in store for us - I could have 3 more months with him (I plead every day that he is here to see our child be born in July), or I could have 3 more years. Or even 13 more years (Chris laughs at that last one!). But whatever I get, it won't be long enough. Living to be 100 together wouldn't be long enough (but don't get be wrong - that would be INCREDIBLE!!!!). If Talia & Grendel truly have found the person of their dreams in each other (and I don't know them, so that's between them), then it would be a shame not to experience this brief window of time called life without the other by their side.

Talia: I hope to heaven that our worst fears do not come true, but I know in reality they likely will. I hope for you that there are many, many days of bliss in between though.

Good luck to all of you.
Liz

 

[ElizabethlovesChris]

Grendel: I applaud your courage and honesty for asking for our experience in this arena.

Talia's father and mother: My own parents were quite worried about the future (or lack thereof) I might have with my Chris. Chris was diagnosed at birth and has been a quite 'sick' CF for much of his life. Definite periods of better and worse, but always a minimum of 3 hospital stays per year, each at least 2 weeks in length. We met in high school - I was 14, he was 16. I suppose my parents probably thought it was a young love that would likely break off at some point, but it never did. We got engaged when I was 18, and married when I was 20. There was never any question that I would finish college though (I was valedictorian of our high school & had a scholarship). Marrying Chris is the single most important decision I have ever made in life, as I believe marriage should be viewed. I am not in it for the short haul - it is a lifetime commitment. But words do not begin to describe that marrying Chris was also the single most wonderful, amazing, life-changing, door-opening, fulfilling, made-me-feel-content decision I have ever made. And this is coming from a person that is an awful decision maker; I flounder back and forth on little things and second guess myself on what ifs... but marrying Chris I have NEVER doubted. Have I doubted that I have the strength to do it? Yes. Have I cried many nights that I don't know how I will go on without him one day? Yes. Have I spent holidays & vacations in a hospital room instead of a preferable family living room? Yes. Have we struggled with the decision of whether or not to expand our family of 2 to 3 by adding a child? Yes. (side note: I was tested to see if I was a CF carrier, and it was negative, otherwise we would not have proceeded with having a biological child of our own).

Despite all those difficult questions though, would I trade in having known Chris and falling in love and marrying him and building a life together? Unquestionably NO. I have no idea what is in store for us - I could have 3 more months with him (I plead every day that he is here to see our child be born in July), or I could have 3 more years. Or even 13 more years (Chris laughs at that last one!). But whatever I get, it won't be long enough. Living to be 100 together wouldn't be long enough (but don't get be wrong - that would be INCREDIBLE!!!!). If Talia & Grendel truly have found the person of their dreams in each other (and I don't know them, so that's between them), then it would be a shame not to experience this brief window of time called life without the other by their side.

Talia: I hope to heaven that our worst fears do not come true, but I know in reality they likely will. I hope for you that there are many, many days of bliss in between though.

Good luck to all of you.
Liz

 

[ElizabethlovesChris]

Grendel: I applaud your courage and honesty for asking for our experience in this arena.
<br />
<br />Talia's father and mother: My own parents were quite worried about the future (or lack thereof) I might have with my Chris. Chris was diagnosed at birth and has been a quite 'sick' CF for much of his life. Definite periods of better and worse, but always a minimum of 3 hospital stays per year, each at least 2 weeks in length. We met in high school - I was 14, he was 16. I suppose my parents probably thought it was a young love that would likely break off at some point, but it never did. We got engaged when I was 18, and married when I was 20. There was never any question that I would finish college though (I was valedictorian of our high school & had a scholarship). Marrying Chris is the single most important decision I have ever made in life, as I believe marriage should be viewed. I am not in it for the short haul - it is a lifetime commitment. But words do not begin to describe that marrying Chris was also the single most wonderful, amazing, life-changing, door-opening, fulfilling, made-me-feel-content decision I have ever made. And this is coming from a person that is an awful decision maker; I flounder back and forth on little things and second guess myself on what ifs... but marrying Chris I have NEVER doubted. Have I doubted that I have the strength to do it? Yes. Have I cried many nights that I don't know how I will go on without him one day? Yes. Have I spent holidays & vacations in a hospital room instead of a preferable family living room? Yes. Have we struggled with the decision of whether or not to expand our family of 2 to 3 by adding a child? Yes. (side note: I was tested to see if I was a CF carrier, and it was negative, otherwise we would not have proceeded with having a biological child of our own).
<br />
<br />Despite all those difficult questions though, would I trade in having known Chris and falling in love and marrying him and building a life together? Unquestionably NO. I have no idea what is in store for us - I could have 3 more months with him (I plead every day that he is here to see our child be born in July), or I could have 3 more years. Or even 13 more years (Chris laughs at that last one!). But whatever I get, it won't be long enough. Living to be 100 together wouldn't be long enough (but don't get be wrong - that would be INCREDIBLE!!!!). If Talia & Grendel truly have found the person of their dreams in each other (and I don't know them, so that's between them), then it would be a shame not to experience this brief window of time called life without the other by their side.
<br />
<br />Talia: I hope to heaven that our worst fears do not come true, but I know in reality they likely will. I hope for you that there are many, many days of bliss in between though.
<br />
<br />Good luck to all of you.
<br />Liz