Loving and and being a Caregiver to a CFer

S

sheanna

New member
Gosh, I don't know. I understand there are hardships when marrying a CFer, such as myself, but that doesn't mean it is all hardships!

I have a close friend who also married another girl with CF (who, interestingly enough, I haven't met!) and he seems to just cope with it day by day. I'm taking a class right now in clinical biochemistry, and we learned that everybody walks around 5-6 defective alleles for SOMETHING. That means that even if somebody doesn't get sick themselves, they may still be a carrier. So why base your life decision on the health of a person?

You never know what is going to happen. A sad example from my life: my long-term boyfriend's dad was a wrestler, marathon bicyclist, weight lifter, and all-around healthy dude. Suddenly at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 months later. It goes to show, you never know. But that is part of living with, and loving somebody- you do the best you can with what you have, and damn the circumstances <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
S

sheanna

New member
Gosh, I don't know. I understand there are hardships when marrying a CFer, such as myself, but that doesn't mean it is all hardships!

I have a close friend who also married another girl with CF (who, interestingly enough, I haven't met!) and he seems to just cope with it day by day. I'm taking a class right now in clinical biochemistry, and we learned that everybody walks around 5-6 defective alleles for SOMETHING. That means that even if somebody doesn't get sick themselves, they may still be a carrier. So why base your life decision on the health of a person?

You never know what is going to happen. A sad example from my life: my long-term boyfriend's dad was a wrestler, marathon bicyclist, weight lifter, and all-around healthy dude. Suddenly at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 months later. It goes to show, you never know. But that is part of living with, and loving somebody- you do the best you can with what you have, and damn the circumstances <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
S

sheanna

New member
Gosh, I don't know. I understand there are hardships when marrying a CFer, such as myself, but that doesn't mean it is all hardships!

I have a close friend who also married another girl with CF (who, interestingly enough, I haven't met!) and he seems to just cope with it day by day. I'm taking a class right now in clinical biochemistry, and we learned that everybody walks around 5-6 defective alleles for SOMETHING. That means that even if somebody doesn't get sick themselves, they may still be a carrier. So why base your life decision on the health of a person?

You never know what is going to happen. A sad example from my life: my long-term boyfriend's dad was a wrestler, marathon bicyclist, weight lifter, and all-around healthy dude. Suddenly at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 months later. It goes to show, you never know. But that is part of living with, and loving somebody- you do the best you can with what you have, and damn the circumstances <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
S

sheanna

New member
Gosh, I don't know. I understand there are hardships when marrying a CFer, such as myself, but that doesn't mean it is all hardships!

I have a close friend who also married another girl with CF (who, interestingly enough, I haven't met!) and he seems to just cope with it day by day. I'm taking a class right now in clinical biochemistry, and we learned that everybody walks around 5-6 defective alleles for SOMETHING. That means that even if somebody doesn't get sick themselves, they may still be a carrier. So why base your life decision on the health of a person?

You never know what is going to happen. A sad example from my life: my long-term boyfriend's dad was a wrestler, marathon bicyclist, weight lifter, and all-around healthy dude. Suddenly at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 months later. It goes to show, you never know. But that is part of living with, and loving somebody- you do the best you can with what you have, and damn the circumstances <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
S

sheanna

New member
Gosh, I don't know. I understand there are hardships when marrying a CFer, such as myself, but that doesn't mean it is all hardships!
<br />
<br />I have a close friend who also married another girl with CF (who, interestingly enough, I haven't met!) and he seems to just cope with it day by day. I'm taking a class right now in clinical biochemistry, and we learned that everybody walks around 5-6 defective alleles for SOMETHING. That means that even if somebody doesn't get sick themselves, they may still be a carrier. So why base your life decision on the health of a person?
<br />
<br />You never know what is going to happen. A sad example from my life: my long-term boyfriend's dad was a wrestler, marathon bicyclist, weight lifter, and all-around healthy dude. Suddenly at the age of 46, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died 3 months later. It goes to show, you never know. But that is part of living with, and loving somebody- you do the best you can with what you have, and damn the circumstances <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
J

julie

New member
Wow,what a question. I must say without a doubt that it sounds like you really love her and want her family to support her, but to understand (maybe from a different view) what they can support.

Mark and I have been together 8 years, married 5.5 (6 this August). Four years into our marriage we welcome our triplets into our lives. My life with Mark has been an amazing journey, learning life lessons that I cannot imagine experiencing on my own or with anyone else.

Is it easy? No, but really, what relationship is. There are hard days, there are days when I'm frustrated because of the situation and how unfair I think it is. But NOTHING in the world could make me do anything different, especially for what being with him has taught me. It has taught me to seize every moment, to be grateful for the very small things in life because this might be the last time we take a walk together, or crawl in bed together, or just sit and talk. It's not something I dwell on, but once in a while I get a little reminder of what a blessing he is in my life and how much I need to appreciate all the little things.

To answer your specific questions, would I do anything differently? Absolutely not, I love my life the way it is and feel so blessed.

Do I regret the hardship CF imposes? I actually feel blessed to know about this in our lives. It gives us an opportunity to live life to the fullest. I think the worst hardships happen to those who don't know and who are blindsided by some sudden death or some sudden and life changing illness where the person is given months to live. At least we know that his life might be shorter and we can take advantage of that knowledge by enjoying and LIVING life.

would I do it over again? YES, in a heartbeat

I hope that they are able to support her in her decision to be with you. You are quite a man Grendel to be asking for this feedback.
 
J

julie

New member
Wow,what a question. I must say without a doubt that it sounds like you really love her and want her family to support her, but to understand (maybe from a different view) what they can support.

Mark and I have been together 8 years, married 5.5 (6 this August). Four years into our marriage we welcome our triplets into our lives. My life with Mark has been an amazing journey, learning life lessons that I cannot imagine experiencing on my own or with anyone else.

Is it easy? No, but really, what relationship is. There are hard days, there are days when I'm frustrated because of the situation and how unfair I think it is. But NOTHING in the world could make me do anything different, especially for what being with him has taught me. It has taught me to seize every moment, to be grateful for the very small things in life because this might be the last time we take a walk together, or crawl in bed together, or just sit and talk. It's not something I dwell on, but once in a while I get a little reminder of what a blessing he is in my life and how much I need to appreciate all the little things.

To answer your specific questions, would I do anything differently? Absolutely not, I love my life the way it is and feel so blessed.

Do I regret the hardship CF imposes? I actually feel blessed to know about this in our lives. It gives us an opportunity to live life to the fullest. I think the worst hardships happen to those who don't know and who are blindsided by some sudden death or some sudden and life changing illness where the person is given months to live. At least we know that his life might be shorter and we can take advantage of that knowledge by enjoying and LIVING life.

would I do it over again? YES, in a heartbeat

I hope that they are able to support her in her decision to be with you. You are quite a man Grendel to be asking for this feedback.
 
J

julie

New member
Wow,what a question. I must say without a doubt that it sounds like you really love her and want her family to support her, but to understand (maybe from a different view) what they can support.

Mark and I have been together 8 years, married 5.5 (6 this August). Four years into our marriage we welcome our triplets into our lives. My life with Mark has been an amazing journey, learning life lessons that I cannot imagine experiencing on my own or with anyone else.

Is it easy? No, but really, what relationship is. There are hard days, there are days when I'm frustrated because of the situation and how unfair I think it is. But NOTHING in the world could make me do anything different, especially for what being with him has taught me. It has taught me to seize every moment, to be grateful for the very small things in life because this might be the last time we take a walk together, or crawl in bed together, or just sit and talk. It's not something I dwell on, but once in a while I get a little reminder of what a blessing he is in my life and how much I need to appreciate all the little things.

To answer your specific questions, would I do anything differently? Absolutely not, I love my life the way it is and feel so blessed.

Do I regret the hardship CF imposes? I actually feel blessed to know about this in our lives. It gives us an opportunity to live life to the fullest. I think the worst hardships happen to those who don't know and who are blindsided by some sudden death or some sudden and life changing illness where the person is given months to live. At least we know that his life might be shorter and we can take advantage of that knowledge by enjoying and LIVING life.

would I do it over again? YES, in a heartbeat

I hope that they are able to support her in her decision to be with you. You are quite a man Grendel to be asking for this feedback.
 
J

julie

New member
Wow,what a question. I must say without a doubt that it sounds like you really love her and want her family to support her, but to understand (maybe from a different view) what they can support.

Mark and I have been together 8 years, married 5.5 (6 this August). Four years into our marriage we welcome our triplets into our lives. My life with Mark has been an amazing journey, learning life lessons that I cannot imagine experiencing on my own or with anyone else.

Is it easy? No, but really, what relationship is. There are hard days, there are days when I'm frustrated because of the situation and how unfair I think it is. But NOTHING in the world could make me do anything different, especially for what being with him has taught me. It has taught me to seize every moment, to be grateful for the very small things in life because this might be the last time we take a walk together, or crawl in bed together, or just sit and talk. It's not something I dwell on, but once in a while I get a little reminder of what a blessing he is in my life and how much I need to appreciate all the little things.

To answer your specific questions, would I do anything differently? Absolutely not, I love my life the way it is and feel so blessed.

Do I regret the hardship CF imposes? I actually feel blessed to know about this in our lives. It gives us an opportunity to live life to the fullest. I think the worst hardships happen to those who don't know and who are blindsided by some sudden death or some sudden and life changing illness where the person is given months to live. At least we know that his life might be shorter and we can take advantage of that knowledge by enjoying and LIVING life.

would I do it over again? YES, in a heartbeat

I hope that they are able to support her in her decision to be with you. You are quite a man Grendel to be asking for this feedback.
 
J

julie

New member
Wow,what a question. I must say without a doubt that it sounds like you really love her and want her family to support her, but to understand (maybe from a different view) what they can support.
<br />
<br />Mark and I have been together 8 years, married 5.5 (6 this August). Four years into our marriage we welcome our triplets into our lives. My life with Mark has been an amazing journey, learning life lessons that I cannot imagine experiencing on my own or with anyone else.
<br />
<br />Is it easy? No, but really, what relationship is. There are hard days, there are days when I'm frustrated because of the situation and how unfair I think it is. But NOTHING in the world could make me do anything different, especially for what being with him has taught me. It has taught me to seize every moment, to be grateful for the very small things in life because this might be the last time we take a walk together, or crawl in bed together, or just sit and talk. It's not something I dwell on, but once in a while I get a little reminder of what a blessing he is in my life and how much I need to appreciate all the little things.
<br />
<br />To answer your specific questions, would I do anything differently? Absolutely not, I love my life the way it is and feel so blessed.
<br />
<br />Do I regret the hardship CF imposes? I actually feel blessed to know about this in our lives. It gives us an opportunity to live life to the fullest. I think the worst hardships happen to those who don't know and who are blindsided by some sudden death or some sudden and life changing illness where the person is given months to live. At least we know that his life might be shorter and we can take advantage of that knowledge by enjoying and LIVING life.
<br />
<br />would I do it over again? YES, in a heartbeat
<br />
<br />I hope that they are able to support her in her decision to be with you. You are quite a man Grendel to be asking for this feedback.
 
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