I have a few stories, but I am sure that they are not nearly as funny as all of these.
In grade 4 (around 8 yrs old) I was at the blackboard in class writing something. I coughed and then sneezed and a big blob of mucous landed on top of the words I was writing. My whole class saw it, and I had to run around trying to find a tissue to wipe it off. They laughed. I did not.
I have had plenty of gas incidences. Naturally I get VERY gassy in enclosed public spaces. Murphys Law!
Oh, here's another one. The first night I was staying at my current partners house I used the bathroom for a #2. It smelled BAD, and it wouldn't flush. I didn't want her to hear me flushing again and again and again, but I had no choice. I tried applying weight on it with tissue. Nup. I had absolutely no idea what to do. So after much deliberation I did something that is VERY VERY gross. I picked it up and placed it in the bin outside. It was a sneaky mission but there was not much choice.
I was clubbing and dancing and had had a few drinks. The drinks had some sort of laxative effect (I shall blame it on that!) and I needed to go, really really badly. There were many a challenge to overcome. Firstly, it was crowded. Secondly, there were a lot of narrow wooden stairs to climb to get to the bathroom. Thirdly, there was a queue. A small queue, but I really had to go. I overcome the first two, and then when I reached the third I, once again thanks to the alcohol, had the confidence to ask the people in front of me if I could go first because "a taxi was outside waiting for me". It was loud, it smelt, and afterwards I quickly washed my hands and ran. Oh happy days.
Even when I was on O2 I still searched for that wonderful independence. People tripped over my tank and tubing, one time ripping it off my face. It was fine, I tried tucking it in and all, but it still happened. Very embarrassing. Probably more so for them, but bad for me.
In the movies I had a coughing fit courtesy of asthma. In the space of 2 minutes I managed to disrupt the people around me, make the people around me die from asphyxiation from my fart smells, make them laugh from the sounds, and experience slight incontinence. Then they suffered with my wheezing and sounds of inhaler pushes.
