Moving out

jeterbug

New member
I would like to start a dialogue with parents and young adults regarding the expectations of independent living.
 

jeterbug

New member
I would like to start a dialogue with parents and young adults regarding the expectations of independent living.
 

jeterbug

New member
I would like to start a dialogue with parents and young adults regarding the expectations of independent living.
 

Emily65Roses

New member
I plan to move out after I finish college. Roughly 2-3 years (course this does mean I'll be living at home until I'm 25). Part of the reason I'm going to be able to do this is because I will not be moving out alone. I'm going to be moving in with my fiance. He knows he's going to be carrying my @ss a bit (or a lot, when the time comes). *shrug*
 

Emily65Roses

New member
I plan to move out after I finish college. Roughly 2-3 years (course this does mean I'll be living at home until I'm 25). Part of the reason I'm going to be able to do this is because I will not be moving out alone. I'm going to be moving in with my fiance. He knows he's going to be carrying my @ss a bit (or a lot, when the time comes). *shrug*
 

Emily65Roses

New member
I plan to move out after I finish college. Roughly 2-3 years (course this does mean I'll be living at home until I'm 25). Part of the reason I'm going to be able to do this is because I will not be moving out alone. I'm going to be moving in with my fiance. He knows he's going to be carrying my @ss a bit (or a lot, when the time comes). *shrug*
 

NoExcuses

New member
'll let my mom post on this. But i'll put my two cents in as well:

I was allowed to live at home (or at college) after age 18 as long as I was in school. My parents paid for me to live on campus in college.

The day after I received my bachelors degree, however, I was on my own. I was to have a job (even if it was at McDonald's) and support myself. I could live at home, but I would be paying rent.

Since January 1, 2004, at age 22, I was living on my own. Paying 100% of my own bills, including medical expenses, rent, food, etc.

I'm sure if I were to become ill and unable to work, my parents would make an exception.

At first I thought my parents were being harsh - forcing me to have a job right out of school and making me have a huge sense of urgency to support myself. Now that I'm older, I look back and I see others whose parents didn't put that pressure on them. Guess what - they're still living at home, they don't have very good jobs (even though they have the potential), etc.

And it hasn't been without health problems - i was in the hospital for IV antibiotics twice in 2005 and I had gallbladder surgery that same year.

So I am grateful for my parents pushing me. I know many CF parents baby their children and I'm grateful that my parents decided to raise me just like any other child.
 

NoExcuses

New member
'll let my mom post on this. But i'll put my two cents in as well:

I was allowed to live at home (or at college) after age 18 as long as I was in school. My parents paid for me to live on campus in college.

The day after I received my bachelors degree, however, I was on my own. I was to have a job (even if it was at McDonald's) and support myself. I could live at home, but I would be paying rent.

Since January 1, 2004, at age 22, I was living on my own. Paying 100% of my own bills, including medical expenses, rent, food, etc.

I'm sure if I were to become ill and unable to work, my parents would make an exception.

At first I thought my parents were being harsh - forcing me to have a job right out of school and making me have a huge sense of urgency to support myself. Now that I'm older, I look back and I see others whose parents didn't put that pressure on them. Guess what - they're still living at home, they don't have very good jobs (even though they have the potential), etc.

And it hasn't been without health problems - i was in the hospital for IV antibiotics twice in 2005 and I had gallbladder surgery that same year.

So I am grateful for my parents pushing me. I know many CF parents baby their children and I'm grateful that my parents decided to raise me just like any other child.
 

NoExcuses

New member
'll let my mom post on this. But i'll put my two cents in as well:

I was allowed to live at home (or at college) after age 18 as long as I was in school. My parents paid for me to live on campus in college.

The day after I received my bachelors degree, however, I was on my own. I was to have a job (even if it was at McDonald's) and support myself. I could live at home, but I would be paying rent.

Since January 1, 2004, at age 22, I was living on my own. Paying 100% of my own bills, including medical expenses, rent, food, etc.

I'm sure if I were to become ill and unable to work, my parents would make an exception.

At first I thought my parents were being harsh - forcing me to have a job right out of school and making me have a huge sense of urgency to support myself. Now that I'm older, I look back and I see others whose parents didn't put that pressure on them. Guess what - they're still living at home, they don't have very good jobs (even though they have the potential), etc.

And it hasn't been without health problems - i was in the hospital for IV antibiotics twice in 2005 and I had gallbladder surgery that same year.

So I am grateful for my parents pushing me. I know many CF parents baby their children and I'm grateful that my parents decided to raise me just like any other child.
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
It really depends where u r in your life right now. I lived at home when in college and the first few years I worked. I thought it was good because you can save money up to buy a house and not just throw money away on rent. But you do give up some of your indepenence when still at home. With my son, if he wants I would support him living on campus for college, just to make him grow up and see how tough life is. But if would still be living at home on some holidays, weekends, and summers. I had a few friends that their parents told them after 18 if they lived at home they would pay rent. I think that is ashame, they might as well moved out, and had a hard time ever getting ahead. I would never make my child pay rent, unless he was maybe 35 and still there.

It never hurts to try and see if u can do it, just hopefully your parents will understand and support you and they r not the type that says, "once u move out, u can't come back.."
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
It really depends where u r in your life right now. I lived at home when in college and the first few years I worked. I thought it was good because you can save money up to buy a house and not just throw money away on rent. But you do give up some of your indepenence when still at home. With my son, if he wants I would support him living on campus for college, just to make him grow up and see how tough life is. But if would still be living at home on some holidays, weekends, and summers. I had a few friends that their parents told them after 18 if they lived at home they would pay rent. I think that is ashame, they might as well moved out, and had a hard time ever getting ahead. I would never make my child pay rent, unless he was maybe 35 and still there.

It never hurts to try and see if u can do it, just hopefully your parents will understand and support you and they r not the type that says, "once u move out, u can't come back.."
 
2

2perfectboys

Guest
It really depends where u r in your life right now. I lived at home when in college and the first few years I worked. I thought it was good because you can save money up to buy a house and not just throw money away on rent. But you do give up some of your indepenence when still at home. With my son, if he wants I would support him living on campus for college, just to make him grow up and see how tough life is. But if would still be living at home on some holidays, weekends, and summers. I had a few friends that their parents told them after 18 if they lived at home they would pay rent. I think that is ashame, they might as well moved out, and had a hard time ever getting ahead. I would never make my child pay rent, unless he was maybe 35 and still there.

It never hurts to try and see if u can do it, just hopefully your parents will understand and support you and they r not the type that says, "once u move out, u can't come back.."
 

amysmom

New member
I think that it's crucial that every child, when they become an adult, has limitations enforced from the parents about where they live and what they'll be doing. The fact that our daughter, Amy (age 25), has CF made it even more important that she become independent of us. Ultimately, she has to be able to take care of herself and live on her own. As hard as it was to force her to go out on her own, it would have set up a nightmare scenario of her moving in and out whenever she had challenges if we didn't set guidelines. (This was after we put her through college and she graduated with a marketable degree!) I've seen this happen with friends of ours and their adult children. When the rules are set clearly, it's amazing how capable they are of rising to the 'ocassion'. CF only factors in for us if, at some point, Amy cannot work to support herself. Other than that, because people with CF are so dependent on doctors, medications and physical therapy routines, I think it's the best possible thing they can do to build their self-esteem and have an amazing life.
 

amysmom

New member
I think that it's crucial that every child, when they become an adult, has limitations enforced from the parents about where they live and what they'll be doing. The fact that our daughter, Amy (age 25), has CF made it even more important that she become independent of us. Ultimately, she has to be able to take care of herself and live on her own. As hard as it was to force her to go out on her own, it would have set up a nightmare scenario of her moving in and out whenever she had challenges if we didn't set guidelines. (This was after we put her through college and she graduated with a marketable degree!) I've seen this happen with friends of ours and their adult children. When the rules are set clearly, it's amazing how capable they are of rising to the 'ocassion'. CF only factors in for us if, at some point, Amy cannot work to support herself. Other than that, because people with CF are so dependent on doctors, medications and physical therapy routines, I think it's the best possible thing they can do to build their self-esteem and have an amazing life.
 

amysmom

New member
I think that it's crucial that every child, when they become an adult, has limitations enforced from the parents about where they live and what they'll be doing. The fact that our daughter, Amy (age 25), has CF made it even more important that she become independent of us. Ultimately, she has to be able to take care of herself and live on her own. As hard as it was to force her to go out on her own, it would have set up a nightmare scenario of her moving in and out whenever she had challenges if we didn't set guidelines. (This was after we put her through college and she graduated with a marketable degree!) I've seen this happen with friends of ours and their adult children. When the rules are set clearly, it's amazing how capable they are of rising to the 'ocassion'. CF only factors in for us if, at some point, Amy cannot work to support herself. Other than that, because people with CF are so dependent on doctors, medications and physical therapy routines, I think it's the best possible thing they can do to build their self-esteem and have an amazing life.
 

amysmom

New member
I think that it's crucial that every child, when they become an adult, has limitations enforced from the parents about where they live and what they'll be doing. The fact that our daughter, Amy (age 25), has CF made it even more important that she become independent of us. Ultimately, she has to be able to take care of herself and live on her own. As hard as it was to force her to go out on her own, it would have set up a nightmare scenario of her moving in and out whenever she had challenges if we didn't set guidelines. (This was after we put her through college and she graduated with a marketable degree!) I've seen this happen with friends of ours and their adult children. When the rules are set clearly, it's amazing how capable they are of rising to the 'ocassion'. CF only factors in for us if, at some point, Amy cannot work to support herself. Other than that, because people with CF are so dependent on doctors, medications and physical therapy routines, I think it's the best possible thing they can do to build their self-esteem and have an amazing life.
 

amysmom

New member
I think that it's crucial that every child, when they become an adult, has limitations enforced from the parents about where they live and what they'll be doing. The fact that our daughter, Amy (age 25), has CF made it even more important that she become independent of us. Ultimately, she has to be able to take care of herself and live on her own. As hard as it was to force her to go out on her own, it would have set up a nightmare scenario of her moving in and out whenever she had challenges if we didn't set guidelines. (This was after we put her through college and she graduated with a marketable degree!) I've seen this happen with friends of ours and their adult children. When the rules are set clearly, it's amazing how capable they are of rising to the 'ocassion'. CF only factors in for us if, at some point, Amy cannot work to support herself. Other than that, because people with CF are so dependent on doctors, medications and physical therapy routines, I think it's the best possible thing they can do to build their self-esteem and have an amazing life.
 

amysmom

New member
I think that it's crucial that every child, when they become an adult, has limitations enforced from the parents about where they live and what they'll be doing. The fact that our daughter, Amy (age 25), has CF made it even more important that she become independent of us. Ultimately, she has to be able to take care of herself and live on her own. As hard as it was to force her to go out on her own, it would have set up a nightmare scenario of her moving in and out whenever she had challenges if we didn't set guidelines. (This was after we put her through college and she graduated with a marketable degree!) I've seen this happen with friends of ours and their adult children. When the rules are set clearly, it's amazing how capable they are of rising to the 'ocassion'. CF only factors in for us if, at some point, Amy cannot work to support herself. Other than that, because people with CF are so dependent on doctors, medications and physical therapy routines, I think it's the best possible thing they can do to build their self-esteem and have an amazing life.
 

momtoCory

New member
I have very mixed feeling on this subject. I have a 21 year old that lives at home. He does not work and he does not go to school.
To be honest, I look at it from a medical insurance view. I spent a great deal of money in attorney fees to keep his father from dropping his insurance when he turned 18 (He does not pay for it, it is company provided). Right now, he is still covered under his fathers insurance as long as he still lives at home. He has very good insurance that covers 100% of almost everything.
It does not cost me any more money to have him live at home.
He takes complete care of his one medical health. I am only there for the emotional support.
So if he is living at home and can spent the time he needs on his medical health and enjoying life then I have no problem with it.
I encourage him to to spend time working out and he does not have to run himself down trying to work fulltime or go to school fulltime. If he choses to work a few hours a week, I support this. If he choses to take a class, I support this. I have always encouraged him to do what he is able to do.
As Cory has gotten older a hospital stay ends up being 3 or more week and it is still several more weeks before he feels up to anything.
If this is babying my CFer. Then it is what I chose to do and I am very happy doing it. I will always do what I feel is the best choice for his LIFE before I chose a moral issue.
I watch what he goes through everyday. I see the pain he lives in. And if he can spent that little time he has without pain, doing something he enjoys, then I will support that too.
Each and every person with CF is different. I do beleive that there are some people that can do so much more and therefore should. I think personally it is an individual decision.
 

momtoCory

New member
I have very mixed feeling on this subject. I have a 21 year old that lives at home. He does not work and he does not go to school.
To be honest, I look at it from a medical insurance view. I spent a great deal of money in attorney fees to keep his father from dropping his insurance when he turned 18 (He does not pay for it, it is company provided). Right now, he is still covered under his fathers insurance as long as he still lives at home. He has very good insurance that covers 100% of almost everything.
It does not cost me any more money to have him live at home.
He takes complete care of his one medical health. I am only there for the emotional support.
So if he is living at home and can spent the time he needs on his medical health and enjoying life then I have no problem with it.
I encourage him to to spend time working out and he does not have to run himself down trying to work fulltime or go to school fulltime. If he choses to work a few hours a week, I support this. If he choses to take a class, I support this. I have always encouraged him to do what he is able to do.
As Cory has gotten older a hospital stay ends up being 3 or more week and it is still several more weeks before he feels up to anything.
If this is babying my CFer. Then it is what I chose to do and I am very happy doing it. I will always do what I feel is the best choice for his LIFE before I chose a moral issue.
I watch what he goes through everyday. I see the pain he lives in. And if he can spent that little time he has without pain, doing something he enjoys, then I will support that too.
Each and every person with CF is different. I do beleive that there are some people that can do so much more and therefore should. I think personally it is an individual decision.
 
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