Emily65Roses
New member
My opinions don't change, no matter who is asking the question. Just thought I'd throw that out there. And there is a difference between a CF carrier... and a CFer. *shrug*
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My Husband Wants Another Child
- Thread starter LUCYJANE
- Start date
i agree with emily . there is a massive difference between being a carrier of the cf gene and actually having cf. what are the chances of julie's babies falling in love with another carrier . when the babies are older they they will know to get their partners tested before they have children of their own. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
We all live with the consequences of our own decisions however, many times those consequences have a much larger impact or effect on those we love then they do on us. The last time I saw this question about having more children I thought about responding but didn't. I have thought about it a lot since and then today I see the question again. I am posting my experience, maybe it will help others, maybe it will only stir up more conflict, at least I will get it off my chest.
I gave birth to my 3rd child, a beautiful boy in 1993. When he was 2 mos. old I knew he had more than just a cold. Turns out he had CF. He spent nearly 7 mos of the first 10 mos of his life in the hospital. While he was hospitalized, docx not sure if he would make it, I decided to have my "tubes tied". I made that decision because not matter my sons outcome I couldn't put another child through that. Just 6 short months after having that procedure I was pregnant. I was in shock, I just couldn't believe I was pregnant. Even though my son was now home, he was still a sick baby on lots of medication and oxygen. I chose to have an abortion. There are many times over these many years that I have thought about that decision. That child may or may not have been born w/cf, the child may or may not have been born a carrier. There are days when i believe i made the wrong decision. When my son smiles, when he brings home straight A's, when he's laughing his butt off, out playing football, dirtbiking, when he tells me I love you. Those are the times that I feel that maybe I made the wrong decision.
There are times when I feel my decision was the right one. When they can't find a good vein, when he starts laughing and it throws him into a coughing fit, when he doesn't have the energy to play, when he asked why this happened to him, when he was real sick in the hospital and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he was afraid to go to sleep because he thought he might not wake up. Those are the times when I know I made the right decision.
I gave birth to my 3rd child, a beautiful boy in 1993. When he was 2 mos. old I knew he had more than just a cold. Turns out he had CF. He spent nearly 7 mos of the first 10 mos of his life in the hospital. While he was hospitalized, docx not sure if he would make it, I decided to have my "tubes tied". I made that decision because not matter my sons outcome I couldn't put another child through that. Just 6 short months after having that procedure I was pregnant. I was in shock, I just couldn't believe I was pregnant. Even though my son was now home, he was still a sick baby on lots of medication and oxygen. I chose to have an abortion. There are many times over these many years that I have thought about that decision. That child may or may not have been born w/cf, the child may or may not have been born a carrier. There are days when i believe i made the wrong decision. When my son smiles, when he brings home straight A's, when he's laughing his butt off, out playing football, dirtbiking, when he tells me I love you. Those are the times that I feel that maybe I made the wrong decision.
There are times when I feel my decision was the right one. When they can't find a good vein, when he starts laughing and it throws him into a coughing fit, when he doesn't have the energy to play, when he asked why this happened to him, when he was real sick in the hospital and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he was afraid to go to sleep because he thought he might not wake up. Those are the times when I know I made the right decision.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>anonymous</b></i>
We all live with the consequences of our own decisions however, many times those consequences have a much larger impact or effect on those we love then they do on us. The last time I saw this question about having more children I thought about responding but didn't. I have thought about it a lot since and then today I see the question again. I am posting my experience, maybe it will help others, maybe it will only stir up more conflict, at least I will get it off my chest.
I gave birth to my 3rd child, a beautiful boy in 1993. When he was 2 mos. old I knew he had more than just a cold. Turns out he had CF. He spent nearly 7 mos of the first 10 mos of his life in the hospital. While he was hospitalized, docx not sure if he would make it, I decided to have my "tubes tied". I made that decision because not matter my sons outcome I couldn't put another child through that. Just 6 short months after having that procedure I was pregnant. I was in shock, I just couldn't believe I was pregnant. Even though my son was now home, he was still a sick baby on lots of medication and oxygen. I chose to have an abortion. There are many times over these many years that I have thought about that decision. That child may or may not have been born w/cf, the child may or may not have been born a carrier. There are days when i believe i made the wrong decision. When my son smiles, when he brings home straight A's, when he's laughing his butt off, out playing football, dirtbiking, when he tells me I love you. Those are the times that I feel that maybe I made the wrong decision.
There are times when I feel my decision was the right one. When they can't find a good vein, when he starts laughing and it throws him into a coughing fit, when he doesn't have the energy to play, when he asked why this happened to him, when he was real sick in the hospital and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he was afraid to go to sleep because he thought he might not wake up. Those are the times when I know I made the right decision.</end quote></div>
I can not judge you. It seems you yourself are torn between the choice you made. It would have not been my choice but I wish you peace. I hope that your son finds meaning and purpose to his life. I can tell he is well loved so that is a great blessing.
We all live with the consequences of our own decisions however, many times those consequences have a much larger impact or effect on those we love then they do on us. The last time I saw this question about having more children I thought about responding but didn't. I have thought about it a lot since and then today I see the question again. I am posting my experience, maybe it will help others, maybe it will only stir up more conflict, at least I will get it off my chest.
I gave birth to my 3rd child, a beautiful boy in 1993. When he was 2 mos. old I knew he had more than just a cold. Turns out he had CF. He spent nearly 7 mos of the first 10 mos of his life in the hospital. While he was hospitalized, docx not sure if he would make it, I decided to have my "tubes tied". I made that decision because not matter my sons outcome I couldn't put another child through that. Just 6 short months after having that procedure I was pregnant. I was in shock, I just couldn't believe I was pregnant. Even though my son was now home, he was still a sick baby on lots of medication and oxygen. I chose to have an abortion. There are many times over these many years that I have thought about that decision. That child may or may not have been born w/cf, the child may or may not have been born a carrier. There are days when i believe i made the wrong decision. When my son smiles, when he brings home straight A's, when he's laughing his butt off, out playing football, dirtbiking, when he tells me I love you. Those are the times that I feel that maybe I made the wrong decision.
There are times when I feel my decision was the right one. When they can't find a good vein, when he starts laughing and it throws him into a coughing fit, when he doesn't have the energy to play, when he asked why this happened to him, when he was real sick in the hospital and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me he was afraid to go to sleep because he thought he might not wake up. Those are the times when I know I made the right decision.</end quote></div>
I can not judge you. It seems you yourself are torn between the choice you made. It would have not been my choice but I wish you peace. I hope that your son finds meaning and purpose to his life. I can tell he is well loved so that is a great blessing.
Of course, there is a difference between a CFer and a carrier. However, eventually the carriers gene will make a CFer even if it is decades from now. Most people do not know they are carriers until after their children are born and diagnosed.
My point is a carrier is still passing the CF gene along and continuing to keep CF in the world generation after generation. Deb
My point is a carrier is still passing the CF gene along and continuing to keep CF in the world generation after generation. Deb
you sound like a nazi!!!!!!!!!! no offence<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"> do you mean to say all people who are cf carriers should not have children ? if you do , why stop there. how about people who are predisposed to have cancer, diabetes etc. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-confused.gif" border="0">
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i> Of course, there is a
difference between a CFer and a carrier. However, eventually the
carriers gene will make a CFer even if it is decades from now. Most
people do not know they are carriers until after their children are
born and diagnosed. My point is a carrier is still passing the CF
gene along and continuing to keep CF in the world generation after
generation. Deb</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Bloody hell, that is a bit harsh isn't it? People would then have
the choice though whether they wanted to try for a baby, if they
knew they were a carrier of the CF gene that is. So as I said
previously, it is then their choice and no-one elses.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
difference between a CFer and a carrier. However, eventually the
carriers gene will make a CFer even if it is decades from now. Most
people do not know they are carriers until after their children are
born and diagnosed. My point is a carrier is still passing the CF
gene along and continuing to keep CF in the world generation after
generation. Deb</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Bloody hell, that is a bit harsh isn't it? People would then have
the choice though whether they wanted to try for a baby, if they
knew they were a carrier of the CF gene that is. So as I said
previously, it is then their choice and no-one elses.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0">
I was responding to the others that say that a parent with one CF child should not try to have another but yet are happy when someone has a child who is a carrier. What I wrote is not how I feel, I am saying this to them because they dont want parents of CF children to continue having children.
I believe that a life is a life and no one knows what the future holds!! When you
have a child you are never guaranteed a perfect child. (Who would want one
anyway?)
Sorry for the confusion I was just replying to the older posts!! I am the furthest thing from a Nazi!! Deb<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> Mom of three -- Two w/CF
I believe that a life is a life and no one knows what the future holds!! When you
have a child you are never guaranteed a perfect child. (Who would want one
anyway?)
Sorry for the confusion I was just replying to the older posts!! I am the furthest thing from a Nazi!! Deb<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0"> Mom of three -- Two w/CF
I understood what you were trying to say, Deb, because I had read your prior post. I think welshgirl and charl72 had not connected what you said in your second post to your first one.
BTW--I agree that a life is a life and I am grateful for mine even if it means I am living with cf.<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
Ellen
BTW--I agree that a life is a life and I am grateful for mine even if it means I am living with cf.<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
Ellen
I am right there with you too Brad. I am the fourth
child in my family and the second with cf. Yikes! If my
parents stopped after their first cf child I and my non cf
siblings would not be here. Come to think about it neither
would my three children and my 4 nieces and nephews. Thanks
mom and dad for giving me life. I feel very
blessed.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"><br>
<br>
child in my family and the second with cf. Yikes! If my
parents stopped after their first cf child I and my non cf
siblings would not be here. Come to think about it neither
would my three children and my 4 nieces and nephews. Thanks
mom and dad for giving me life. I feel very
blessed.<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-happy.gif" border="0"><br>
<br>
Thats what I like to hear -- people who are happy to be alive!! That WAS the point I was trying to make that a life is a life with CF or not. There are no guarantees
with any pregnancy. So, many things can go wrong. I have two beautiful girls w/CF and they are wonderful. They are so close and although I would never have
wanted my 3rd to have the CF. The two sisters now share such a close bond that
only they can understand with one another. Deb <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
with any pregnancy. So, many things can go wrong. I have two beautiful girls w/CF and they are wonderful. They are so close and although I would never have
wanted my 3rd to have the CF. The two sisters now share such a close bond that
only they can understand with one another. Deb <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">