Need Parents' Advice - HELP

I

izemmom

New member
I'm posting this in Off Topic because it's not strictly CF related. But, We all know that our Cf kiddos are a stubborn lot, so I'm hoping that someone will have a suggestion or idea, or at least can empathize. I'm going crazy!

For about the last week, Emily has been having "accidents." Only, we are convinced that they are not accidents anymore. She has, apparently just decided not to pee on the toilet anymore. She walks into the bathroom, then pees on the floor in front of the toilet. (I know, I'd be chuckling at this too, if one of you had written it...)

I've talked to the pediatrician and we've pretty much ruled out a physical cause - she's not complining of pain, there's no increased frequency, no (unusual) foul smell. It seems to be a total power play type of thing. I've tried to stay calm to take the "payoff" of the fight out of it. We've tried to find some natural consequences (she has to "help" clean up and can't play or watch tv until the floor and she are cleaned up), I've tried my hardest to use the love and logic ideas...,being sad for her and not mad at her.....but it's been a WEEK now and I'd just about DONE with it!

And here's the kicker. I went out last night and Dad was in charge. Emily. of course, pulled one of her tricks again. Dad made the threat that if she had any more "accidents" she couldn't go camping with the family this weekend. SInce the trip with with Dad's side of the family he told her that if she peed on the floor in the morning, she and mom (me!) would be staying home.

Guess what? She got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, turned to look at me, said "I don't want to go camping this week, maybe next week." And let loose. UUUUGGGHHH! (Go ahead, laugh. I'll laugh about it when she's 30...right now I'm MAD!)

So, we have to follow through on his threat, right? There is NO way that we can back off and still go and enjoy a camping trip, right? I've already informed Dad that I am very upset that HE made a threat that I have to enforce (And I've given him all the reasons that we don't makre threats.....) but, what's done is done, right?

I'm just so upset that now our family camping trip no longer included half of our family. And, I have to stay home when DAd gets to go (Petty, I know, but it was my vacation, too!)

Uuuugggghhh! Any suggestions, anyone?
 
I

izemmom

New member
I'm posting this in Off Topic because it's not strictly CF related. But, We all know that our Cf kiddos are a stubborn lot, so I'm hoping that someone will have a suggestion or idea, or at least can empathize. I'm going crazy!

For about the last week, Emily has been having "accidents." Only, we are convinced that they are not accidents anymore. She has, apparently just decided not to pee on the toilet anymore. She walks into the bathroom, then pees on the floor in front of the toilet. (I know, I'd be chuckling at this too, if one of you had written it...)

I've talked to the pediatrician and we've pretty much ruled out a physical cause - she's not complining of pain, there's no increased frequency, no (unusual) foul smell. It seems to be a total power play type of thing. I've tried to stay calm to take the "payoff" of the fight out of it. We've tried to find some natural consequences (she has to "help" clean up and can't play or watch tv until the floor and she are cleaned up), I've tried my hardest to use the love and logic ideas...,being sad for her and not mad at her.....but it's been a WEEK now and I'd just about DONE with it!

And here's the kicker. I went out last night and Dad was in charge. Emily. of course, pulled one of her tricks again. Dad made the threat that if she had any more "accidents" she couldn't go camping with the family this weekend. SInce the trip with with Dad's side of the family he told her that if she peed on the floor in the morning, she and mom (me!) would be staying home.

Guess what? She got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, turned to look at me, said "I don't want to go camping this week, maybe next week." And let loose. UUUUGGGHHH! (Go ahead, laugh. I'll laugh about it when she's 30...right now I'm MAD!)

So, we have to follow through on his threat, right? There is NO way that we can back off and still go and enjoy a camping trip, right? I've already informed Dad that I am very upset that HE made a threat that I have to enforce (And I've given him all the reasons that we don't makre threats.....) but, what's done is done, right?

I'm just so upset that now our family camping trip no longer included half of our family. And, I have to stay home when DAd gets to go (Petty, I know, but it was my vacation, too!)

Uuuugggghhh! Any suggestions, anyone?
 
I

izemmom

New member
I'm posting this in Off Topic because it's not strictly CF related. But, We all know that our Cf kiddos are a stubborn lot, so I'm hoping that someone will have a suggestion or idea, or at least can empathize. I'm going crazy!

For about the last week, Emily has been having "accidents." Only, we are convinced that they are not accidents anymore. She has, apparently just decided not to pee on the toilet anymore. She walks into the bathroom, then pees on the floor in front of the toilet. (I know, I'd be chuckling at this too, if one of you had written it...)

I've talked to the pediatrician and we've pretty much ruled out a physical cause - she's not complining of pain, there's no increased frequency, no (unusual) foul smell. It seems to be a total power play type of thing. I've tried to stay calm to take the "payoff" of the fight out of it. We've tried to find some natural consequences (she has to "help" clean up and can't play or watch tv until the floor and she are cleaned up), I've tried my hardest to use the love and logic ideas...,being sad for her and not mad at her.....but it's been a WEEK now and I'd just about DONE with it!

And here's the kicker. I went out last night and Dad was in charge. Emily. of course, pulled one of her tricks again. Dad made the threat that if she had any more "accidents" she couldn't go camping with the family this weekend. SInce the trip with with Dad's side of the family he told her that if she peed on the floor in the morning, she and mom (me!) would be staying home.

Guess what? She got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, turned to look at me, said "I don't want to go camping this week, maybe next week." And let loose. UUUUGGGHHH! (Go ahead, laugh. I'll laugh about it when she's 30...right now I'm MAD!)

So, we have to follow through on his threat, right? There is NO way that we can back off and still go and enjoy a camping trip, right? I've already informed Dad that I am very upset that HE made a threat that I have to enforce (And I've given him all the reasons that we don't makre threats.....) but, what's done is done, right?

I'm just so upset that now our family camping trip no longer included half of our family. And, I have to stay home when DAd gets to go (Petty, I know, but it was my vacation, too!)

Uuuugggghhh! Any suggestions, anyone?
 
I

izemmom

New member
I'm posting this in Off Topic because it's not strictly CF related. But, We all know that our Cf kiddos are a stubborn lot, so I'm hoping that someone will have a suggestion or idea, or at least can empathize. I'm going crazy!

For about the last week, Emily has been having "accidents." Only, we are convinced that they are not accidents anymore. She has, apparently just decided not to pee on the toilet anymore. She walks into the bathroom, then pees on the floor in front of the toilet. (I know, I'd be chuckling at this too, if one of you had written it...)

I've talked to the pediatrician and we've pretty much ruled out a physical cause - she's not complining of pain, there's no increased frequency, no (unusual) foul smell. It seems to be a total power play type of thing. I've tried to stay calm to take the "payoff" of the fight out of it. We've tried to find some natural consequences (she has to "help" clean up and can't play or watch tv until the floor and she are cleaned up), I've tried my hardest to use the love and logic ideas...,being sad for her and not mad at her.....but it's been a WEEK now and I'd just about DONE with it!

And here's the kicker. I went out last night and Dad was in charge. Emily. of course, pulled one of her tricks again. Dad made the threat that if she had any more "accidents" she couldn't go camping with the family this weekend. SInce the trip with with Dad's side of the family he told her that if she peed on the floor in the morning, she and mom (me!) would be staying home.

Guess what? She got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, turned to look at me, said "I don't want to go camping this week, maybe next week." And let loose. UUUUGGGHHH! (Go ahead, laugh. I'll laugh about it when she's 30...right now I'm MAD!)

So, we have to follow through on his threat, right? There is NO way that we can back off and still go and enjoy a camping trip, right? I've already informed Dad that I am very upset that HE made a threat that I have to enforce (And I've given him all the reasons that we don't makre threats.....) but, what's done is done, right?

I'm just so upset that now our family camping trip no longer included half of our family. And, I have to stay home when DAd gets to go (Petty, I know, but it was my vacation, too!)

Uuuugggghhh! Any suggestions, anyone?
 
I

izemmom

New member
I'm posting this in Off Topic because it's not strictly CF related. But, We all know that our Cf kiddos are a stubborn lot, so I'm hoping that someone will have a suggestion or idea, or at least can empathize. I'm going crazy!
<br />
<br />For about the last week, Emily has been having "accidents." Only, we are convinced that they are not accidents anymore. She has, apparently just decided not to pee on the toilet anymore. She walks into the bathroom, then pees on the floor in front of the toilet. (I know, I'd be chuckling at this too, if one of you had written it...)
<br />
<br />I've talked to the pediatrician and we've pretty much ruled out a physical cause - she's not complining of pain, there's no increased frequency, no (unusual) foul smell. It seems to be a total power play type of thing. I've tried to stay calm to take the "payoff" of the fight out of it. We've tried to find some natural consequences (she has to "help" clean up and can't play or watch tv until the floor and she are cleaned up), I've tried my hardest to use the love and logic ideas...,being sad for her and not mad at her.....but it's been a WEEK now and I'd just about DONE with it!
<br />
<br />And here's the kicker. I went out last night and Dad was in charge. Emily. of course, pulled one of her tricks again. Dad made the threat that if she had any more "accidents" she couldn't go camping with the family this weekend. SInce the trip with with Dad's side of the family he told her that if she peed on the floor in the morning, she and mom (me!) would be staying home.
<br />
<br />Guess what? She got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, turned to look at me, said "I don't want to go camping this week, maybe next week." And let loose. UUUUGGGHHH! (Go ahead, laugh. I'll laugh about it when she's 30...right now I'm MAD!)
<br />
<br />So, we have to follow through on his threat, right? There is NO way that we can back off and still go and enjoy a camping trip, right? I've already informed Dad that I am very upset that HE made a threat that I have to enforce (And I've given him all the reasons that we don't makre threats.....) but, what's done is done, right?
<br />
<br />I'm just so upset that now our family camping trip no longer included half of our family. And, I have to stay home when DAd gets to go (Petty, I know, but it was my vacation, too!)
<br />
<br />Uuuugggghhh! Any suggestions, anyone?
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Ugh, I have no suggestions, but I feel your pain. DS was doing similar things to get out of his vest treatments and other things while he was at the hospital. And after spending two weeks trying to GET him to go to the bathroom, was kinda tricky to scold him for going even if he most likely had an ulterior motive and was using potty to get out of something.

We too threatened to take something away, but we had to make DARNED sure that it was something that he really wanted to do and that we weren't going to get punished ourselves in the process. We started little and worked our way up -- at this point I really didn't want to take him to a family event if he wasn't going to behave himself and possibly pee on my inlaws couch.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Ugh, I have no suggestions, but I feel your pain. DS was doing similar things to get out of his vest treatments and other things while he was at the hospital. And after spending two weeks trying to GET him to go to the bathroom, was kinda tricky to scold him for going even if he most likely had an ulterior motive and was using potty to get out of something.

We too threatened to take something away, but we had to make DARNED sure that it was something that he really wanted to do and that we weren't going to get punished ourselves in the process. We started little and worked our way up -- at this point I really didn't want to take him to a family event if he wasn't going to behave himself and possibly pee on my inlaws couch.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Ugh, I have no suggestions, but I feel your pain. DS was doing similar things to get out of his vest treatments and other things while he was at the hospital. And after spending two weeks trying to GET him to go to the bathroom, was kinda tricky to scold him for going even if he most likely had an ulterior motive and was using potty to get out of something.

We too threatened to take something away, but we had to make DARNED sure that it was something that he really wanted to do and that we weren't going to get punished ourselves in the process. We started little and worked our way up -- at this point I really didn't want to take him to a family event if he wasn't going to behave himself and possibly pee on my inlaws couch.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Ugh, I have no suggestions, but I feel your pain. DS was doing similar things to get out of his vest treatments and other things while he was at the hospital. And after spending two weeks trying to GET him to go to the bathroom, was kinda tricky to scold him for going even if he most likely had an ulterior motive and was using potty to get out of something.

We too threatened to take something away, but we had to make DARNED sure that it was something that he really wanted to do and that we weren't going to get punished ourselves in the process. We started little and worked our way up -- at this point I really didn't want to take him to a family event if he wasn't going to behave himself and possibly pee on my inlaws couch.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Ugh, I have no suggestions, but I feel your pain. DS was doing similar things to get out of his vest treatments and other things while he was at the hospital. And after spending two weeks trying to GET him to go to the bathroom, was kinda tricky to scold him for going even if he most likely had an ulterior motive and was using potty to get out of something.
<br />
<br />We too threatened to take something away, but we had to make DARNED sure that it was something that he really wanted to do and that we weren't going to get punished ourselves in the process. We started little and worked our way up -- at this point I really didn't want to take him to a family event if he wasn't going to behave himself and possibly pee on my inlaws couch.
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Oh and don't threaten to put her back in pull ups or diapers, it might backfire. DS had to wear overnights a couple times during his hospital stay do to lots of IV fluids AND things finally moving thru and he decided that he liked just being able to sit and watch tv or play video games without having to take a potty break. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Oh and don't threaten to put her back in pull ups or diapers, it might backfire. DS had to wear overnights a couple times during his hospital stay do to lots of IV fluids AND things finally moving thru and he decided that he liked just being able to sit and watch tv or play video games without having to take a potty break. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Oh and don't threaten to put her back in pull ups or diapers, it might backfire. DS had to wear overnights a couple times during his hospital stay do to lots of IV fluids AND things finally moving thru and he decided that he liked just being able to sit and watch tv or play video games without having to take a potty break. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Oh and don't threaten to put her back in pull ups or diapers, it might backfire. DS had to wear overnights a couple times during his hospital stay do to lots of IV fluids AND things finally moving thru and he decided that he liked just being able to sit and watch tv or play video games without having to take a potty break. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
R

Ratatosk

Administrator
Staff member
Oh and don't threaten to put her back in pull ups or diapers, it might backfire. DS had to wear overnights a couple times during his hospital stay do to lots of IV fluids AND things finally moving thru and he decided that he liked just being able to sit and watch tv or play video games without having to take a potty break. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
I

izemmom

New member
Thanks LIza!

I was jsut about ready to go out and get some pull ups and go on the damn camping trip...but you're right, she'd jsut go in them and that doesn't solve anything.

I am mostly upset that dad just "jumped" to the big thing while I wasn't home. You are right, consequences should start small and shouldn't punish the parents. THAT's what's getting me right now.

I suppose I should just try to make the best of it and give her some extra attention while it's just the 2 of us. I'll make a potty chart and we'll set up some "rewards." Maybe that will get her back on track. But, staying home is supposed to be her punishment...so, how does the extra attention and rewards factor into THAT??

Where was this chapter in the parenting handbook????
 
I

izemmom

New member
Thanks LIza!

I was jsut about ready to go out and get some pull ups and go on the damn camping trip...but you're right, she'd jsut go in them and that doesn't solve anything.

I am mostly upset that dad just "jumped" to the big thing while I wasn't home. You are right, consequences should start small and shouldn't punish the parents. THAT's what's getting me right now.

I suppose I should just try to make the best of it and give her some extra attention while it's just the 2 of us. I'll make a potty chart and we'll set up some "rewards." Maybe that will get her back on track. But, staying home is supposed to be her punishment...so, how does the extra attention and rewards factor into THAT??

Where was this chapter in the parenting handbook????
 
I

izemmom

New member
Thanks LIza!

I was jsut about ready to go out and get some pull ups and go on the damn camping trip...but you're right, she'd jsut go in them and that doesn't solve anything.

I am mostly upset that dad just "jumped" to the big thing while I wasn't home. You are right, consequences should start small and shouldn't punish the parents. THAT's what's getting me right now.

I suppose I should just try to make the best of it and give her some extra attention while it's just the 2 of us. I'll make a potty chart and we'll set up some "rewards." Maybe that will get her back on track. But, staying home is supposed to be her punishment...so, how does the extra attention and rewards factor into THAT??

Where was this chapter in the parenting handbook????
 
I

izemmom

New member
Thanks LIza!

I was jsut about ready to go out and get some pull ups and go on the damn camping trip...but you're right, she'd jsut go in them and that doesn't solve anything.

I am mostly upset that dad just "jumped" to the big thing while I wasn't home. You are right, consequences should start small and shouldn't punish the parents. THAT's what's getting me right now.

I suppose I should just try to make the best of it and give her some extra attention while it's just the 2 of us. I'll make a potty chart and we'll set up some "rewards." Maybe that will get her back on track. But, staying home is supposed to be her punishment...so, how does the extra attention and rewards factor into THAT??

Where was this chapter in the parenting handbook????
 
I

izemmom

New member
Thanks LIza!
<br />
<br />I was jsut about ready to go out and get some pull ups and go on the damn camping trip...but you're right, she'd jsut go in them and that doesn't solve anything.
<br />
<br />I am mostly upset that dad just "jumped" to the big thing while I wasn't home. You are right, consequences should start small and shouldn't punish the parents. THAT's what's getting me right now.
<br />
<br />I suppose I should just try to make the best of it and give her some extra attention while it's just the 2 of us. I'll make a potty chart and we'll set up some "rewards." Maybe that will get her back on track. But, staying home is supposed to be her punishment...so, how does the extra attention and rewards factor into THAT??
<br />
<br />Where was this chapter in the parenting handbook????
 
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