Need Parents' Advice - HELP

izemmom · Jul 17, 2009

Just bumping this up, because I'd really like some input.

Dad and big sister left for camping a few hours ago and Emily and I are engaged in "boot camp." I took away all the stuff she usually does to pass time and set up a system to earn them back one by one, by demonstrating appropriate behaviors. It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm making it developmentally appropriate. She has already earned back reading stories with mom and listening to mom. So far, she has used the toilet twice and is using impeccable manners.

I am just lost, though,wondering if not going with the rest of the family was the right thing to do, and I'll admit it, I'm still upset that I didn't get to go.

Input, anyone?!?!

izemmom · Jul 17, 2009

Just bumping this up, because I'd really like some input.

Dad and big sister left for camping a few hours ago and Emily and I are engaged in "boot camp." I took away all the stuff she usually does to pass time and set up a system to earn them back one by one, by demonstrating appropriate behaviors. It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm making it developmentally appropriate. She has already earned back reading stories with mom and listening to mom. So far, she has used the toilet twice and is using impeccable manners.

I am just lost, though,wondering if not going with the rest of the family was the right thing to do, and I'll admit it, I'm still upset that I didn't get to go.

Input, anyone?!?!

izemmom · Jul 17, 2009

Just bumping this up, because I'd really like some input.

Dad and big sister left for camping a few hours ago and Emily and I are engaged in "boot camp." I took away all the stuff she usually does to pass time and set up a system to earn them back one by one, by demonstrating appropriate behaviors. It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm making it developmentally appropriate. She has already earned back reading stories with mom and listening to mom. So far, she has used the toilet twice and is using impeccable manners.

I am just lost, though,wondering if not going with the rest of the family was the right thing to do, and I'll admit it, I'm still upset that I didn't get to go.

Input, anyone?!?!

izemmom · Jul 17, 2009

Just bumping this up, because I'd really like some input.

Dad and big sister left for camping a few hours ago and Emily and I are engaged in "boot camp." I took away all the stuff she usually does to pass time and set up a system to earn them back one by one, by demonstrating appropriate behaviors. It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm making it developmentally appropriate. She has already earned back reading stories with mom and listening to mom. So far, she has used the toilet twice and is using impeccable manners.

I am just lost, though,wondering if not going with the rest of the family was the right thing to do, and I'll admit it, I'm still upset that I didn't get to go.

Input, anyone?!?!

izemmom · Jul 17, 2009

Just bumping this up, because I'd really like some input.
 
 Dad and big sister left for camping a few hours ago and Emily and I are engaged in "boot camp." I took away all the stuff she usually does to pass time and set up a system to earn them back one by one, by demonstrating appropriate behaviors. It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm making it developmentally appropriate. She has already earned back reading stories with mom and listening to mom. So far, she has used the toilet twice and is using impeccable manners.
 
 I am just lost, though,wondering if not going with the rest of the family was the right thing to do, and I'll admit it, I'm still upset that I didn't get to go.
 
 Input, anyone?!?!

JazzysMom · Jul 17, 2009

Sorry but I was laughing just as you said you would be too!

I think a lot is the age because Jazz did it. I remember vividly sitting in the kitchen & she was doing her "pee dance".

I asked if she had to go potty. No sooner did the word NO come out of her mouth & the pee came out of her.

That is a time when I literally had to walk away from her to calm down.

I just worked harder/closer/diligently with her. I praised her up & down when she peed. I even put her on the toilet crying with her saying she didnt have to go. Just for her to pee!

Now granted that Jazz doesnt have CF, but I do think that CF plays a power play at times whether the kid has CF or not.....

I am still chuckling at the whole thing Tami. I also do not agree with your hubby making that statement. You get punished too.

Hope you find solutions.....

HUGS

JazzysMom · Jul 17, 2009

Sorry but I was laughing just as you said you would be too!

I think a lot is the age because Jazz did it. I remember vividly sitting in the kitchen & she was doing her "pee dance".

I asked if she had to go potty. No sooner did the word NO come out of her mouth & the pee came out of her.

That is a time when I literally had to walk away from her to calm down.

I just worked harder/closer/diligently with her. I praised her up & down when she peed. I even put her on the toilet crying with her saying she didnt have to go. Just for her to pee!

Now granted that Jazz doesnt have CF, but I do think that CF plays a power play at times whether the kid has CF or not.....

I am still chuckling at the whole thing Tami. I also do not agree with your hubby making that statement. You get punished too.

Hope you find solutions.....

HUGS

JazzysMom · Jul 17, 2009

Sorry but I was laughing just as you said you would be too!

I think a lot is the age because Jazz did it. I remember vividly sitting in the kitchen & she was doing her "pee dance".

I asked if she had to go potty. No sooner did the word NO come out of her mouth & the pee came out of her.

That is a time when I literally had to walk away from her to calm down.

I just worked harder/closer/diligently with her. I praised her up & down when she peed. I even put her on the toilet crying with her saying she didnt have to go. Just for her to pee!

Now granted that Jazz doesnt have CF, but I do think that CF plays a power play at times whether the kid has CF or not.....

I am still chuckling at the whole thing Tami. I also do not agree with your hubby making that statement. You get punished too.

Hope you find solutions.....

HUGS

JazzysMom · Jul 17, 2009

Sorry but I was laughing just as you said you would be too!

I think a lot is the age because Jazz did it. I remember vividly sitting in the kitchen & she was doing her "pee dance".

I asked if she had to go potty. No sooner did the word NO come out of her mouth & the pee came out of her.

That is a time when I literally had to walk away from her to calm down.

I just worked harder/closer/diligently with her. I praised her up & down when she peed. I even put her on the toilet crying with her saying she didnt have to go. Just for her to pee!

Now granted that Jazz doesnt have CF, but I do think that CF plays a power play at times whether the kid has CF or not.....

I am still chuckling at the whole thing Tami. I also do not agree with your hubby making that statement. You get punished too.

Hope you find solutions.....

HUGS

JazzysMom · Jul 17, 2009

Sorry but I was laughing just as you said you would be too!
 
 I think a lot is the age because Jazz did it. I remember vividly sitting in the kitchen & she was doing her "pee dance".
 
 I asked if she had to go potty. No sooner did the word NO come out of her mouth & the pee came out of her.
 
 That is a time when I literally had to walk away from her to calm down.
 
 I just worked harder/closer/diligently with her. I praised her up & down when she peed. I even put her on the toilet crying with her saying she didnt have to go. Just for her to pee!
 
 Now granted that Jazz doesnt have CF, but I do think that CF plays a power play at times whether the kid has CF or not.....
 
 I am still chuckling at the whole thing Tami. I also do not agree with your hubby making that statement. You get punished too.
 
 Hope you find solutions.....
 
 HUGS

TestifyToLove · Jul 18, 2009

Is your signature correct and she's 2?

You do realize that CF or not it is developmentally appropriate to be doing this potty accident then off and on until 4-5 for some kids, right? The more you consequence a 2 year old over the potty, the more likely they are going to have accidents. Potty issues are the first thing a child has absolute control over. You can want what you want. You can threaten what you threaten. But, at the end of the day, you cannot MAKE them do it your way.

And, 2 year olds completely lack logical thinking skills so you can argue the why with them. They are just starting to develop empathy, so you can't make them want to do it for your feelings.

I do feel your pain. My toddler potty trained at 2y4m and was accident free from February until about a week ago at 2y9m. She's now peeing on the floor more than the potty, insisted on putting diapers back on at night and will announce she's peeing on my floor as she does it.

Last night, we had dinner at a friend's house. They had a little training potty next to the regular toilet. She peed herself while trying to decide which potty she wanted to use.

I'm back to packing spare clothes for her when we travel. And, I have her help clean up her messes. But, otherwise I'm not doing anything but waiting her out. Its a phase. Its normal. She's not my first to do this, so I'm reminding myself to be thankful that she's not pooping outside the toilets too. It truly will pass with time. The more you call attention to it and address it, the longer it will linger.

TestifyToLove · Jul 18, 2009

Is your signature correct and she's 2?

You do realize that CF or not it is developmentally appropriate to be doing this potty accident then off and on until 4-5 for some kids, right? The more you consequence a 2 year old over the potty, the more likely they are going to have accidents. Potty issues are the first thing a child has absolute control over. You can want what you want. You can threaten what you threaten. But, at the end of the day, you cannot MAKE them do it your way.

And, 2 year olds completely lack logical thinking skills so you can argue the why with them. They are just starting to develop empathy, so you can't make them want to do it for your feelings.

I do feel your pain. My toddler potty trained at 2y4m and was accident free from February until about a week ago at 2y9m. She's now peeing on the floor more than the potty, insisted on putting diapers back on at night and will announce she's peeing on my floor as she does it.

Last night, we had dinner at a friend's house. They had a little training potty next to the regular toilet. She peed herself while trying to decide which potty she wanted to use.

I'm back to packing spare clothes for her when we travel. And, I have her help clean up her messes. But, otherwise I'm not doing anything but waiting her out. Its a phase. Its normal. She's not my first to do this, so I'm reminding myself to be thankful that she's not pooping outside the toilets too. It truly will pass with time. The more you call attention to it and address it, the longer it will linger.

TestifyToLove · Jul 18, 2009

Is your signature correct and she's 2?

You do realize that CF or not it is developmentally appropriate to be doing this potty accident then off and on until 4-5 for some kids, right? The more you consequence a 2 year old over the potty, the more likely they are going to have accidents. Potty issues are the first thing a child has absolute control over. You can want what you want. You can threaten what you threaten. But, at the end of the day, you cannot MAKE them do it your way.

And, 2 year olds completely lack logical thinking skills so you can argue the why with them. They are just starting to develop empathy, so you can't make them want to do it for your feelings.

I do feel your pain. My toddler potty trained at 2y4m and was accident free from February until about a week ago at 2y9m. She's now peeing on the floor more than the potty, insisted on putting diapers back on at night and will announce she's peeing on my floor as she does it.

Last night, we had dinner at a friend's house. They had a little training potty next to the regular toilet. She peed herself while trying to decide which potty she wanted to use.

I'm back to packing spare clothes for her when we travel. And, I have her help clean up her messes. But, otherwise I'm not doing anything but waiting her out. Its a phase. Its normal. She's not my first to do this, so I'm reminding myself to be thankful that she's not pooping outside the toilets too. It truly will pass with time. The more you call attention to it and address it, the longer it will linger.

TestifyToLove · Jul 18, 2009

Is your signature correct and she's 2?

You do realize that CF or not it is developmentally appropriate to be doing this potty accident then off and on until 4-5 for some kids, right? The more you consequence a 2 year old over the potty, the more likely they are going to have accidents. Potty issues are the first thing a child has absolute control over. You can want what you want. You can threaten what you threaten. But, at the end of the day, you cannot MAKE them do it your way.

And, 2 year olds completely lack logical thinking skills so you can argue the why with them. They are just starting to develop empathy, so you can't make them want to do it for your feelings.

I do feel your pain. My toddler potty trained at 2y4m and was accident free from February until about a week ago at 2y9m. She's now peeing on the floor more than the potty, insisted on putting diapers back on at night and will announce she's peeing on my floor as she does it.

Last night, we had dinner at a friend's house. They had a little training potty next to the regular toilet. She peed herself while trying to decide which potty she wanted to use.

I'm back to packing spare clothes for her when we travel. And, I have her help clean up her messes. But, otherwise I'm not doing anything but waiting her out. Its a phase. Its normal. She's not my first to do this, so I'm reminding myself to be thankful that she's not pooping outside the toilets too. It truly will pass with time. The more you call attention to it and address it, the longer it will linger.

TestifyToLove · Jul 18, 2009

Is your signature correct and she's 2?
 
 You do realize that CF or not it is developmentally appropriate to be doing this potty accident then off and on until 4-5 for some kids, right? The more you consequence a 2 year old over the potty, the more likely they are going to have accidents. Potty issues are the first thing a child has absolute control over. You can want what you want. You can threaten what you threaten. But, at the end of the day, you cannot MAKE them do it your way.
 
 And, 2 year olds completely lack logical thinking skills so you can argue the why with them. They are just starting to develop empathy, so you can't make them want to do it for your feelings.
 
 I do feel your pain. My toddler potty trained at 2y4m and was accident free from February until about a week ago at 2y9m. She's now peeing on the floor more than the potty, insisted on putting diapers back on at night and will announce she's peeing on my floor as she does it.
 
 Last night, we had dinner at a friend's house. They had a little training potty next to the regular toilet. She peed herself while trying to decide which potty she wanted to use.
 
 I'm back to packing spare clothes for her when we travel. And, I have her help clean up her messes. But, otherwise I'm not doing anything but waiting her out. Its a phase. Its normal. She's not my first to do this, so I'm reminding myself to be thankful that she's not pooping outside the toilets too. It truly will pass with time. The more you call attention to it and address it, the longer it will linger.

izemmom · Jul 18, 2009

Emily is 3 1/2 and has been trained for over a year. When she started having issues a week ago I first went the route of looking for a physical cause (given her recent long course of omnicef, her recent concussion inducing fall from a swing...) and when nothing seemed to be the cause I figured it was yet another control issue for her.

Of course I know that toilet issues are normal up until age 8. I teach second grade and plenty of my kids still have issues. I wasn't as worried about the "accidents" as I was interested in trying to help her resolve whatever was causing her setback. As stated above, I figured she needed to gain control over something for this to be resolved.

It was Dad who laid down the ultimatum...not me. My original post was really intended to see if anyone thought I might be able to get away with backing out of Dad's threat and still go camping. Which, I already knew I wouldn't do...a "rule" is a "rule." Granted, I think it was a pretty bad rule...not at all appropriate for a 3 year old, but once it's made, it has to be stuck to.

Anyway, Em and I had a good day. With Dad and sister gone, I was able to focus more on what her issues with the tiolet were. Turns out this roadblock is tied to another issue we've been having lately - fear of the bathtub. She is afraid that her collection of "little things" (She has tons of little trinkets that are all very very important to her) will be flushed away or go down the drain. Twice today she ran into the bathroom while I was going to make sure that none of her stuff was in the toilet. After I figured it out and we made a very special box with a cover to keep her things in, she was fine. She has gone on the toilet with no issues and also did not fight her vest or bath or bedtime like she has been.

So, I"m still sad that I"m not camping with my other daughter, but, it was worth it to help Emily gain control of her fear, at least for now. We also played some serious GO FISH tonight, which is always fun.

Thanks for the input.

izemmom · Jul 18, 2009

Emily is 3 1/2 and has been trained for over a year. When she started having issues a week ago I first went the route of looking for a physical cause (given her recent long course of omnicef, her recent concussion inducing fall from a swing...) and when nothing seemed to be the cause I figured it was yet another control issue for her.

Of course I know that toilet issues are normal up until age 8. I teach second grade and plenty of my kids still have issues. I wasn't as worried about the "accidents" as I was interested in trying to help her resolve whatever was causing her setback. As stated above, I figured she needed to gain control over something for this to be resolved.

It was Dad who laid down the ultimatum...not me. My original post was really intended to see if anyone thought I might be able to get away with backing out of Dad's threat and still go camping. Which, I already knew I wouldn't do...a "rule" is a "rule." Granted, I think it was a pretty bad rule...not at all appropriate for a 3 year old, but once it's made, it has to be stuck to.

Anyway, Em and I had a good day. With Dad and sister gone, I was able to focus more on what her issues with the tiolet were. Turns out this roadblock is tied to another issue we've been having lately - fear of the bathtub. She is afraid that her collection of "little things" (She has tons of little trinkets that are all very very important to her) will be flushed away or go down the drain. Twice today she ran into the bathroom while I was going to make sure that none of her stuff was in the toilet. After I figured it out and we made a very special box with a cover to keep her things in, she was fine. She has gone on the toilet with no issues and also did not fight her vest or bath or bedtime like she has been.

So, I"m still sad that I"m not camping with my other daughter, but, it was worth it to help Emily gain control of her fear, at least for now. We also played some serious GO FISH tonight, which is always fun.

Thanks for the input.

izemmom · Jul 18, 2009

Emily is 3 1/2 and has been trained for over a year. When she started having issues a week ago I first went the route of looking for a physical cause (given her recent long course of omnicef, her recent concussion inducing fall from a swing...) and when nothing seemed to be the cause I figured it was yet another control issue for her.

Of course I know that toilet issues are normal up until age 8. I teach second grade and plenty of my kids still have issues. I wasn't as worried about the "accidents" as I was interested in trying to help her resolve whatever was causing her setback. As stated above, I figured she needed to gain control over something for this to be resolved.

It was Dad who laid down the ultimatum...not me. My original post was really intended to see if anyone thought I might be able to get away with backing out of Dad's threat and still go camping. Which, I already knew I wouldn't do...a "rule" is a "rule." Granted, I think it was a pretty bad rule...not at all appropriate for a 3 year old, but once it's made, it has to be stuck to.

Anyway, Em and I had a good day. With Dad and sister gone, I was able to focus more on what her issues with the tiolet were. Turns out this roadblock is tied to another issue we've been having lately - fear of the bathtub. She is afraid that her collection of "little things" (She has tons of little trinkets that are all very very important to her) will be flushed away or go down the drain. Twice today she ran into the bathroom while I was going to make sure that none of her stuff was in the toilet. After I figured it out and we made a very special box with a cover to keep her things in, she was fine. She has gone on the toilet with no issues and also did not fight her vest or bath or bedtime like she has been.

So, I"m still sad that I"m not camping with my other daughter, but, it was worth it to help Emily gain control of her fear, at least for now. We also played some serious GO FISH tonight, which is always fun.

Thanks for the input.

izemmom · Jul 18, 2009

Emily is 3 1/2 and has been trained for over a year. When she started having issues a week ago I first went the route of looking for a physical cause (given her recent long course of omnicef, her recent concussion inducing fall from a swing...) and when nothing seemed to be the cause I figured it was yet another control issue for her.

Of course I know that toilet issues are normal up until age 8. I teach second grade and plenty of my kids still have issues. I wasn't as worried about the "accidents" as I was interested in trying to help her resolve whatever was causing her setback. As stated above, I figured she needed to gain control over something for this to be resolved.

It was Dad who laid down the ultimatum...not me. My original post was really intended to see if anyone thought I might be able to get away with backing out of Dad's threat and still go camping. Which, I already knew I wouldn't do...a "rule" is a "rule." Granted, I think it was a pretty bad rule...not at all appropriate for a 3 year old, but once it's made, it has to be stuck to.

Anyway, Em and I had a good day. With Dad and sister gone, I was able to focus more on what her issues with the tiolet were. Turns out this roadblock is tied to another issue we've been having lately - fear of the bathtub. She is afraid that her collection of "little things" (She has tons of little trinkets that are all very very important to her) will be flushed away or go down the drain. Twice today she ran into the bathroom while I was going to make sure that none of her stuff was in the toilet. After I figured it out and we made a very special box with a cover to keep her things in, she was fine. She has gone on the toilet with no issues and also did not fight her vest or bath or bedtime like she has been.

So, I"m still sad that I"m not camping with my other daughter, but, it was worth it to help Emily gain control of her fear, at least for now. We also played some serious GO FISH tonight, which is always fun.

Thanks for the input.

izemmom · Jul 18, 2009

Emily is 3 1/2 and has been trained for over a year. When she started having issues a week ago I first went the route of looking for a physical cause (given her recent long course of omnicef, her recent concussion inducing fall from a swing...) and when nothing seemed to be the cause I figured it was yet another control issue for her.
 
 Of course I know that toilet issues are normal up until age 8. I teach second grade and plenty of my kids still have issues. I wasn't as worried about the "accidents" as I was interested in trying to help her resolve whatever was causing her setback. As stated above, I figured she needed to gain control over something for this to be resolved.
 
 It was Dad who laid down the ultimatum...not me. My original post was really intended to see if anyone thought I might be able to get away with backing out of Dad's threat and still go camping. Which, I already knew I wouldn't do...a "rule" is a "rule." Granted, I think it was a pretty bad rule...not at all appropriate for a 3 year old, but once it's made, it has to be stuck to.
 
 Anyway, Em and I had a good day. With Dad and sister gone, I was able to focus more on what her issues with the tiolet were. Turns out this roadblock is tied to another issue we've been having lately - fear of the bathtub. She is afraid that her collection of "little things" (She has tons of little trinkets that are all very very important to her) will be flushed away or go down the drain. Twice today she ran into the bathroom while I was going to make sure that none of her stuff was in the toilet. After I figured it out and we made a very special box with a cover to keep her things in, she was fine. She has gone on the toilet with no issues and also did not fight her vest or bath or bedtime like she has been.
 
 So, I"m still sad that I"m not camping with my other daughter, but, it was worth it to help Emily gain control of her fear, at least for now. We also played some serious GO FISH tonight, which is always fun.
 
 Thanks for the input.

Need Parents' Advice - HELP

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