Personality

[nocode]

Hi,

I am a 27 year old female with CF. I was diagnosed at 15 and I've grown to become a cold person, for the most part, not really able to like other people because I cannot relate to them at the core (because they don't suffer from a terrible illness).

I can be friendly, extroverted and social, I am not an outcast. But at the core, I am not very nice, also due to the fact that I cannot feel a lot of empathy for other people and their problems.

When I tell my closest friends or a partner that I suffer from this illness, their reaction is that of a sudden understanding of my personality.

But I wonder.. most people I see on these forums and have spoken to in real life who also suffer from CF seem so nice, warm and empathetic. Sure, each person deals with their situation in their own way.. But I'm curious as to whether you really feel that way or you are just politically correct.. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I also notice that when it comes to relationships I try to avoid love at all costs and try not to give myself too much. Whereas other CF patients, I notice, are the contrary where they almost crave love, like everybody else. So how do you feel about all this?

Thanks for your input.

Vera

 

[nocode]

Hi,

I am a 27 year old female with CF. I was diagnosed at 15 and I've grown to become a cold person, for the most part, not really able to like other people because I cannot relate to them at the core (because they don't suffer from a terrible illness).

I can be friendly, extroverted and social, I am not an outcast. But at the core, I am not very nice, also due to the fact that I cannot feel a lot of empathy for other people and their problems.

When I tell my closest friends or a partner that I suffer from this illness, their reaction is that of a sudden understanding of my personality.

But I wonder.. most people I see on these forums and have spoken to in real life who also suffer from CF seem so nice, warm and empathetic. Sure, each person deals with their situation in their own way.. But I'm curious as to whether you really feel that way or you are just politically correct.. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I also notice that when it comes to relationships I try to avoid love at all costs and try not to give myself too much. Whereas other CF patients, I notice, are the contrary where they almost crave love, like everybody else. So how do you feel about all this?

Thanks for your input.

Vera

 

[nocode]

Hi,
<br />
<br />I am a 27 year old female with CF. I was diagnosed at 15 and I've grown to become a cold person, for the most part, not really able to like other people because I cannot relate to them at the core (because they don't suffer from a terrible illness).
<br />
<br />I can be friendly, extroverted and social, I am not an outcast. But at the core, I am not very nice, also due to the fact that I cannot feel a lot of empathy for other people and their problems.
<br />
<br />When I tell my closest friends or a partner that I suffer from this illness, their reaction is that of a sudden understanding of my personality.
<br />
<br />But I wonder.. most people I see on these forums and have spoken to in real life who also suffer from CF seem so nice, warm and empathetic. Sure, each person deals with their situation in their own way.. But I'm curious as to whether you really feel that way or you are just politically correct.. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
<br />I also notice that when it comes to relationships I try to avoid love at all costs and try not to give myself too much. Whereas other CF patients, I notice, are the contrary where they almost crave love, like everybody else. So how do you feel about all this?
<br />
<br />Thanks for your input.
<br />
<br />Vera

 

[BlueBeam]

Hi Vera

I'm a 25 year old guy. I've been diagnosed at 3 or 4. I'm a very loving person for the most part, but there is definetly a cold part of me lurking around. While I have tons of friends (maybe too many) they all get that I am somewhat distant.... but it mostly has affected me on the relationship part of things.

all my life i've avoided intimate contact with girls and now women because I can't stand the look on their faces whenever I have to explain even the smallest details of my painful existence.. to my downfall, since recently I met a girl i really liked, but at the moment when things were starting to unfold, I told her about my condition... at the worst possible time, like i sabotaged it on purpose... and now she's gone.

I am nice with everybody but myself, I think I somehow directed all my jealousy feelings towards me... and I keep smiling at everybody but my sick f*"$_ self.

I strongly believe every cystic fibrosis patient has a loose screw somewhere on the mental departement, and i think yours is more healthy than mine.

your feelings are normal, happy go lucky people are barely aware of their existence. be grateful that you were given the gift of being critical of your place in this world.

i'm pretty depressed now so i'll leave it at that..

 

[BlueBeam]

Hi Vera

I'm a 25 year old guy. I've been diagnosed at 3 or 4. I'm a very loving person for the most part, but there is definetly a cold part of me lurking around. While I have tons of friends (maybe too many) they all get that I am somewhat distant.... but it mostly has affected me on the relationship part of things.

all my life i've avoided intimate contact with girls and now women because I can't stand the look on their faces whenever I have to explain even the smallest details of my painful existence.. to my downfall, since recently I met a girl i really liked, but at the moment when things were starting to unfold, I told her about my condition... at the worst possible time, like i sabotaged it on purpose... and now she's gone.

I am nice with everybody but myself, I think I somehow directed all my jealousy feelings towards me... and I keep smiling at everybody but my sick f*"$_ self.

I strongly believe every cystic fibrosis patient has a loose screw somewhere on the mental departement, and i think yours is more healthy than mine.

your feelings are normal, happy go lucky people are barely aware of their existence. be grateful that you were given the gift of being critical of your place in this world.

i'm pretty depressed now so i'll leave it at that..

 

[BlueBeam]

Hi Vera
<br />
<br />I'm a 25 year old guy. I've been diagnosed at 3 or 4. I'm a very loving person for the most part, but there is definetly a cold part of me lurking around. While I have tons of friends (maybe too many) they all get that I am somewhat distant.... but it mostly has affected me on the relationship part of things.
<br />
<br />all my life i've avoided intimate contact with girls and now women because I can't stand the look on their faces whenever I have to explain even the smallest details of my painful existence.. to my downfall, since recently I met a girl i really liked, but at the moment when things were starting to unfold, I told her about my condition... at the worst possible time, like i sabotaged it on purpose... and now she's gone.
<br />
<br />I am nice with everybody but myself, I think I somehow directed all my jealousy feelings towards me... and I keep smiling at everybody but my sick f*"$_ self.
<br />
<br />I strongly believe every cystic fibrosis patient has a loose screw somewhere on the mental departement, and i think yours is more healthy than mine.
<br />
<br />your feelings are normal, happy go lucky people are barely aware of their existence. be grateful that you were given the gift of being critical of your place in this world.
<br />
<br />i'm pretty depressed now so i'll leave it at that..

 

[giantsfan91]

Wow, I too definitely feel distant to people that don't suffer from cf. I've pushed every girl that was interested in me away because I just felt that either 1. they would be frightened and run from the situation or 2. they would stick around for sympathy. I know that might not always be the case but rejection is a terrible feeling so neither of which of those scenarios I wanted, so I'd always come up with an excuse as to why I can't take the relationship to more than a fling sort of thing. My friends that I have all know me as the guy who always tries to lighten a crappy situation but I feel like nobody not even my own family really knows me. I feel that CF is as much of a mental battle as physical one because pretty much from the moment were diagnosed there's already a life expectancy stamped on our foreheads and if you live longer than your 30's your lucky. Like BlueBeam, I am nice to everyone unless you give me a reason not to be. I find it very rare that I feel sorry for people with problems that don't involve their health. Enough with the negative though, if I didn't have CF I definitely feel like I wouldn't be as strong of a person.

 

[giantsfan91]

Wow, I too definitely feel distant to people that don't suffer from cf. I've pushed every girl that was interested in me away because I just felt that either 1. they would be frightened and run from the situation or 2. they would stick around for sympathy. I know that might not always be the case but rejection is a terrible feeling so neither of which of those scenarios I wanted, so I'd always come up with an excuse as to why I can't take the relationship to more than a fling sort of thing. My friends that I have all know me as the guy who always tries to lighten a crappy situation but I feel like nobody not even my own family really knows me. I feel that CF is as much of a mental battle as physical one because pretty much from the moment were diagnosed there's already a life expectancy stamped on our foreheads and if you live longer than your 30's your lucky. Like BlueBeam, I am nice to everyone unless you give me a reason not to be. I find it very rare that I feel sorry for people with problems that don't involve their health. Enough with the negative though, if I didn't have CF I definitely feel like I wouldn't be as strong of a person.

 

[giantsfan91]

Wow, I too definitely feel distant to people that don't suffer from cf. I've pushed every girl that was interested in me away because I just felt that either 1. they would be frightened and run from the situation or 2. they would stick around for sympathy. I know that might not always be the case but rejection is a terrible feeling so neither of which of those scenarios I wanted, so I'd always come up with an excuse as to why I can't take the relationship to more than a fling sort of thing. My friends that I have all know me as the guy who always tries to lighten a crappy situation but I feel like nobody not even my own family really knows me. I feel that CF is as much of a mental battle as physical one because pretty much from the moment were diagnosed there's already a life expectancy stamped on our foreheads and if you live longer than your 30's your lucky. Like BlueBeam, I am nice to everyone unless you give me a reason not to be. I find it very rare that I feel sorry for people with problems that don't involve their health. Enough with the negative though, if I didn't have CF I definitely feel like I wouldn't be as strong of a person.

 

[Havoc]

I am not a very emotional person, but I don't attribute that to my having CF. I've gotta admit that I am somewhat bewildered and fascinated at how much some people seem to be affected emotionally and/or mentally by CF. I realize that it's a very time intensive disease, but I never really let that get in the way of interpersonal relationships, romantic or platonic. I also never felt that I couldn't empathize with other people who did not have a serious illness.

What I have learned over the years is that everybody has some amount of crap in their lives and it seems that, all things considered, everybody is pretty much up to their eyeballs in life's crap. Yours might be CF, someone else might have financial troubles, still others might have family issues, mental troubles, problems at work, addictions etc. Most people won't bring these things out, so it might appear that all is well, but at the root of it we all have our problems.

 

[Havoc]

I am not a very emotional person, but I don't attribute that to my having CF. I've gotta admit that I am somewhat bewildered and fascinated at how much some people seem to be affected emotionally and/or mentally by CF. I realize that it's a very time intensive disease, but I never really let that get in the way of interpersonal relationships, romantic or platonic. I also never felt that I couldn't empathize with other people who did not have a serious illness.

What I have learned over the years is that everybody has some amount of crap in their lives and it seems that, all things considered, everybody is pretty much up to their eyeballs in life's crap. Yours might be CF, someone else might have financial troubles, still others might have family issues, mental troubles, problems at work, addictions etc. Most people won't bring these things out, so it might appear that all is well, but at the root of it we all have our problems.

 

[Havoc]

I am not a very emotional person, but I don't attribute that to my having CF. I've gotta admit that I am somewhat bewildered and fascinated at how much some people seem to be affected emotionally and/or mentally by CF. I realize that it's a very time intensive disease, but I never really let that get in the way of interpersonal relationships, romantic or platonic. I also never felt that I couldn't empathize with other people who did not have a serious illness.
<br />
<br />What I have learned over the years is that everybody has some amount of crap in their lives and it seems that, all things considered, everybody is pretty much up to their eyeballs in life's crap. Yours might be CF, someone else might have financial troubles, still others might have family issues, mental troubles, problems at work, addictions etc. Most people won't bring these things out, so it might appear that all is well, but at the root of it we all have our problems.

 

[nmw615]

I've found myself to be more distant, than cold. I'm nice to everyone I meet, until I have a reason to not be. It's hard for me to trust people enough to tell them, and it's because I lost some friends when I really started to get sick and in my mind, if the people I had known for 15 years wouldn't stand by me, why would anyone I haven't known that long?

As for how I feel when other people complain, I'm usually pretty compassionate. However, when I hear someone complaining about spending a few hours, or even one night, in a hospital and how bad it was, I find myself extremely annoyed. I have been lucky enough to find a friend that understands the things I complain about better than anyone else, and I'm sure that helps.

 

[nmw615]

I've found myself to be more distant, than cold. I'm nice to everyone I meet, until I have a reason to not be. It's hard for me to trust people enough to tell them, and it's because I lost some friends when I really started to get sick and in my mind, if the people I had known for 15 years wouldn't stand by me, why would anyone I haven't known that long?

As for how I feel when other people complain, I'm usually pretty compassionate. However, when I hear someone complaining about spending a few hours, or even one night, in a hospital and how bad it was, I find myself extremely annoyed. I have been lucky enough to find a friend that understands the things I complain about better than anyone else, and I'm sure that helps.

 

[nmw615]

I've found myself to be more distant, than cold. I'm nice to everyone I meet, until I have a reason to not be. It's hard for me to trust people enough to tell them, and it's because I lost some friends when I really started to get sick and in my mind, if the people I had known for 15 years wouldn't stand by me, why would anyone I haven't known that long?
<br />
<br />As for how I feel when other people complain, I'm usually pretty compassionate. However, when I hear someone complaining about spending a few hours, or even one night, in a hospital and how bad it was, I find myself extremely annoyed. I have been lucky enough to find a friend that understands the things I complain about better than anyone else, and I'm sure that helps.

 

[mamerth]

I have to admit I am a bit dark. I have been this way even before my diagnosis. I am not a people person. I do think that CF has caused my brain to run funny... my husband thinks it a lack of oxygen issue. I don't like happy music.... I am a metal head. Happy bubbly people drive me crazy very quickly.

 

[mamerth]

I have to admit I am a bit dark. I have been this way even before my diagnosis. I am not a people person. I do think that CF has caused my brain to run funny... my husband thinks it a lack of oxygen issue. I don't like happy music.... I am a metal head. Happy bubbly people drive me crazy very quickly.

 

[mamerth]

I have to admit I am a bit dark. I have been this way even before my diagnosis. I am not a people person. I do think that CF has caused my brain to run funny... my husband thinks it a lack of oxygen issue. I don't like happy music.... I am a metal head. Happy bubbly people drive me crazy very quickly.

 

[2DIE4Corey]

I really love being with my family.
I just have problems with people who always say: this hurts and that hurts... and in the end you know that those ppl are totally well. Cant handle that ppl. Ppl always tell me, that I am that strong and dont complain about my illness. I mean what do ppl think? I have had to deal with it since 25 years. It doesnt change anything to complain the whole time and let the whole world know, that I am sick.

I handle my situtation as good as I can, I try dont miss anything in life, doin what I want, seein concerts, festivals and stuff. It sounds that good, but believe me guys, I have my depressive phases as well. Thinkin, nothin has a sense and why I am here. I used to cut my arms with knifes and drinkin much alcohol to control myself...some time ago.

Regarding being dark...
I am listening to everything I like. From Rock to Metal. (especially for MAMERTH<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I have had a freaky side my whole life. Tried any style which was possible to be different than others (From goth, to skater, I was everything)... being dark is good in some ways. Life cant be PINK the whole time. I also have my troubles with funny music or Pop.

I mean, I changed my style to ("normal" whatever that means), but in my heart there will always be a more dark part, than a happy part.

TO ALL HERE:
Try to enjoy life as much as possible, do what you want,...
and think: IT COULD BE WORSE!!!
(sounds stupid, but think about it)

 

[2DIE4Corey]

I really love being with my family.
I just have problems with people who always say: this hurts and that hurts... and in the end you know that those ppl are totally well. Cant handle that ppl. Ppl always tell me, that I am that strong and dont complain about my illness. I mean what do ppl think? I have had to deal with it since 25 years. It doesnt change anything to complain the whole time and let the whole world know, that I am sick.

I handle my situtation as good as I can, I try dont miss anything in life, doin what I want, seein concerts, festivals and stuff. It sounds that good, but believe me guys, I have my depressive phases as well. Thinkin, nothin has a sense and why I am here. I used to cut my arms with knifes and drinkin much alcohol to control myself...some time ago.

Regarding being dark...
I am listening to everything I like. From Rock to Metal. (especially for MAMERTH<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I have had a freaky side my whole life. Tried any style which was possible to be different than others (From goth, to skater, I was everything)... being dark is good in some ways. Life cant be PINK the whole time. I also have my troubles with funny music or Pop.

I mean, I changed my style to ("normal" whatever that means), but in my heart there will always be a more dark part, than a happy part.

TO ALL HERE:
Try to enjoy life as much as possible, do what you want,...
and think: IT COULD BE WORSE!!!
(sounds stupid, but think about it)