Question for Spouses

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Emily65Roses

New member
Allie found this disgusting forum for the spouses of sick and disabled people. Mmm, that's not fair. The whole site isn't disgusting, just this one area. They have a section dedicated to intimacy issues. MANY MANY MANY of the people on this site talk about how they're cheating because their spouse is unable to have sex anymore. I am really really offended. I wrote a very level-headed virtually emotion-free logical response. This woman commented back justifying cheating on a sick spouse because they need love, even if the person is sick/disabled.

I think it's really really disgusting, as does Allie. And I'm just curious what anyone else thinks? Am I overreacting because I myself have CF, or is this really offensive?
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
Allie found this disgusting forum for the spouses of sick and disabled people. Mmm, that's not fair. The whole site isn't disgusting, just this one area. They have a section dedicated to intimacy issues. MANY MANY MANY of the people on this site talk about how they're cheating because their spouse is unable to have sex anymore. I am really really offended. I wrote a very level-headed virtually emotion-free logical response. This woman commented back justifying cheating on a sick spouse because they need love, even if the person is sick/disabled.

I think it's really really disgusting, as does Allie. And I'm just curious what anyone else thinks? Am I overreacting because I myself have CF, or is this really offensive?
 
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julie

New member
It's quite offensive and very wrong! Sex isn't all there is to a relationship or feeling good and you don't always have to involve another person to orgasm, that should be something intimate with your spouse and yourself (if necessary). Very sad!
 
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julie

New member
It's quite offensive and very wrong! Sex isn't all there is to a relationship or feeling good and you don't always have to involve another person to orgasm, that should be something intimate with your spouse and yourself (if necessary). Very sad!
 
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miesl

New member
That's absolutely horrible.

"Miss Needs Love" Someone needs to tell that nit that love is not cheating on your spouse - no matter what.
 
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miesl

New member
That's absolutely horrible.

"Miss Needs Love" Someone needs to tell that nit that love is not cheating on your spouse - no matter what.
 
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perl

Guest
Where is this board? Can't really state my opinion on something I haven't read. Did you provide a link & I just missed it? From what you describe, I can't say that it is offensive to me, as I am not married to any of these people. Thankfully :)

It's really none of my business what other people do in their personal relationships, as it is none of anyone else's business what I choose to do w/ my man.
 
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perl

Guest
Where is this board? Can't really state my opinion on something I haven't read. Did you provide a link & I just missed it? From what you describe, I can't say that it is offensive to me, as I am not married to any of these people. Thankfully :)

It's really none of my business what other people do in their personal relationships, as it is none of anyone else's business what I choose to do w/ my man.
 
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Purplelungz

New member
I find it offensive too. Having sex isnt part of needing "love". Sure its a bonus but when two people love each other they dont 'need' to have sex to keep the relationship going. If she thinks she needs sex to feel loved somethings wrong. Plus what about her sick spouse? Doesnt he feel like he needs love too? Just because he is unable to perform doesnt mean he doesnt want to. What kinda of emotional burnden does he have because he cant please his wife sexually? or vis versa? Just like Julie said there are other ways to please each other or at least the spouse. To me this sounds like people who thought they were committed to each other but once things got bad they want to run away. There are hardly any people out there any more willing to deal with the bad.

Allie and Mike, and all other cf spouses, lovers, or partners what have you. I want to thank you for all you do for your cfer. This post just shows how special you are.

Sorry for my long post.
Amanda
 
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Purplelungz

New member
I find it offensive too. Having sex isnt part of needing "love". Sure its a bonus but when two people love each other they dont 'need' to have sex to keep the relationship going. If she thinks she needs sex to feel loved somethings wrong. Plus what about her sick spouse? Doesnt he feel like he needs love too? Just because he is unable to perform doesnt mean he doesnt want to. What kinda of emotional burnden does he have because he cant please his wife sexually? or vis versa? Just like Julie said there are other ways to please each other or at least the spouse. To me this sounds like people who thought they were committed to each other but once things got bad they want to run away. There are hardly any people out there any more willing to deal with the bad.

Allie and Mike, and all other cf spouses, lovers, or partners what have you. I want to thank you for all you do for your cfer. This post just shows how special you are.

Sorry for my long post.
Amanda
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
The woman herself doesn't cheat. She was justifying those that do. And here's the link to the site:
<a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.wellspouse.org/phpBB2/
">http://www.wellspouse.org/phpBB2/
</a>The threads I looked at are in the section "Intimacy and Personal Issues."

I only ask one thing. If anyone decides to post, don't tell them you got the link from me. I don't want them thinking I'm making it my job to rally up people to come in and attack them. I just had to ask about it because I'm really offended.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
The woman herself doesn't cheat. She was justifying those that do. And here's the link to the site:
<a target=new class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.wellspouse.org/phpBB2/
">http://www.wellspouse.org/phpBB2/
</a>The threads I looked at are in the section "Intimacy and Personal Issues."

I only ask one thing. If anyone decides to post, don't tell them you got the link from me. I don't want them thinking I'm making it my job to rally up people to come in and attack them. I just had to ask about it because I'm really offended.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
A solid relationship is not solely based on sex. Its based on trust, honesty, companionship, love, repect, etc. Sex is just one component of a good relationship. You don't need the physical touch of someone else to orgasm. There are many ways in which to have a healthy sexual relationship without actual physical sex. Cheating is the cowards way out. I would sonner talk to my spouse about finding alternative ways to please each other before I went and had an affair. That being said I would never have an affair.
 
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thelizardqueen

New member
A solid relationship is not solely based on sex. Its based on trust, honesty, companionship, love, repect, etc. Sex is just one component of a good relationship. You don't need the physical touch of someone else to orgasm. There are many ways in which to have a healthy sexual relationship without actual physical sex. Cheating is the cowards way out. I would sonner talk to my spouse about finding alternative ways to please each other before I went and had an affair. That being said I would never have an affair.
 
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miesl

New member
Note to self. Stick to CF boards for WS(CF) support - it's ten million times better.

*hugs to Allie*
 
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miesl

New member
Note to self. Stick to CF boards for WS(CF) support - it's ten million times better.

*hugs to Allie*
 
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JennifersHope

New member
HOW RUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


I read some of the posts,, I agree well spouses need a place to vent.. but this is very sad... it makes me wonder.... what the heck our loved ones really think...... GEEZ.... The women has it hard.. but she is speaking terrible about her own husband....

Not going back to that forum.. or I will go Prednisone on them..


Jennifer
 
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JennifersHope

New member
HOW RUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


I read some of the posts,, I agree well spouses need a place to vent.. but this is very sad... it makes me wonder.... what the heck our loved ones really think...... GEEZ.... The women has it hard.. but she is speaking terrible about her own husband....

Not going back to that forum.. or I will go Prednisone on them..


Jennifer
 
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