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Relationships with CF Patients
- Thread starter natalie
- Start date
Emily65Roses
New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>I think you should go back to your comfortable little life where you can play princess and let him find REAL love
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
*sigh* This doesn't help anyone, guys. Don't get me wrong, I was a little less than pleased when I read Natalie's post. That's the last kind of thing most of us want to hear. BUT!....
If she's really one of the ones who can't handle it, it's better that she know now. And if coming here and talking to us helps her figure out whether or not she can, then I'm glad she came to us. If nothing else, if it opens her eyes to what really lies in store for her, and she can't handle it, then we've helped her boyfriend. Granted we don't know him, but he's a fellow CFer, and I'll be happy if I can help him through her in whatever way possible.
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
*sigh* This doesn't help anyone, guys. Don't get me wrong, I was a little less than pleased when I read Natalie's post. That's the last kind of thing most of us want to hear. BUT!....
If she's really one of the ones who can't handle it, it's better that she know now. And if coming here and talking to us helps her figure out whether or not she can, then I'm glad she came to us. If nothing else, if it opens her eyes to what really lies in store for her, and she can't handle it, then we've helped her boyfriend. Granted we don't know him, but he's a fellow CFer, and I'll be happy if I can help him through her in whatever way possible.
Emily65Roses
New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>I think you should go back to your comfortable little life where you can play princess and let him find REAL love
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
*sigh* This doesn't help anyone, guys. Don't get me wrong, I was a little less than pleased when I read Natalie's post. That's the last kind of thing most of us want to hear. BUT!....
If she's really one of the ones who can't handle it, it's better that she know now. And if coming here and talking to us helps her figure out whether or not she can, then I'm glad she came to us. If nothing else, if it opens her eyes to what really lies in store for her, and she can't handle it, then we've helped her boyfriend. Granted we don't know him, but he's a fellow CFer, and I'll be happy if I can help him through her in whatever way possible.
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
*sigh* This doesn't help anyone, guys. Don't get me wrong, I was a little less than pleased when I read Natalie's post. That's the last kind of thing most of us want to hear. BUT!....
If she's really one of the ones who can't handle it, it's better that she know now. And if coming here and talking to us helps her figure out whether or not she can, then I'm glad she came to us. If nothing else, if it opens her eyes to what really lies in store for her, and she can't handle it, then we've helped her boyfriend. Granted we don't know him, but he's a fellow CFer, and I'll be happy if I can help him through her in whatever way possible.
lilMeggies
New member
** Message has been deleted **
lilMeggies
New member
** Message has been deleted **
thelizardqueen
New member
You've got to think long term when it comes to CF. I hate to say it, but its true. Can you still be with him, when he's consistantly on IVS, when he's got a feeding tube in his stomach, and you have to change all of these things? When he's on oxygen 24/7? Can you stay with him, knowing that you won't travel with him, that you'll have to carry the bulk of the financial anmd physical things in the relationship? I don't see anything wrong in being selfish and thinking of yourself. Because that's what you have to do, you have to think of whether YOU can handle this.
thelizardqueen
New member
You've got to think long term when it comes to CF. I hate to say it, but its true. Can you still be with him, when he's consistantly on IVS, when he's got a feeding tube in his stomach, and you have to change all of these things? When he's on oxygen 24/7? Can you stay with him, knowing that you won't travel with him, that you'll have to carry the bulk of the financial anmd physical things in the relationship? I don't see anything wrong in being selfish and thinking of yourself. Because that's what you have to do, you have to think of whether YOU can handle this.
Emily65Roses
New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>lilMeggies</b></i><br>Forgot to login in
THAT WAS ME
and if it isn't for everyone then they shouldn't be in here complaining about it to us<hr></blockquote>
In all fairness, she's not complaining. She has come here to be honest with herself and evaluate the situation as objectively as possible. Which is a very intelligent move. It's a lot more responsible of her to think about all this now and make a decision than just assume she can do it only to find out otherwise later.
THAT WAS ME
and if it isn't for everyone then they shouldn't be in here complaining about it to us<hr></blockquote>
In all fairness, she's not complaining. She has come here to be honest with herself and evaluate the situation as objectively as possible. Which is a very intelligent move. It's a lot more responsible of her to think about all this now and make a decision than just assume she can do it only to find out otherwise later.
Emily65Roses
New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>lilMeggies</b></i><br>Forgot to login in
THAT WAS ME
and if it isn't for everyone then they shouldn't be in here complaining about it to us<hr></blockquote>
In all fairness, she's not complaining. She has come here to be honest with herself and evaluate the situation as objectively as possible. Which is a very intelligent move. It's a lot more responsible of her to think about all this now and make a decision than just assume she can do it only to find out otherwise later.
THAT WAS ME
and if it isn't for everyone then they shouldn't be in here complaining about it to us<hr></blockquote>
In all fairness, she's not complaining. She has come here to be honest with herself and evaluate the situation as objectively as possible. Which is a very intelligent move. It's a lot more responsible of her to think about all this now and make a decision than just assume she can do it only to find out otherwise later.
We support everyone associated with CF, Meghan. Now, I don't want to start a fight with you, but I think it's better than she gain some idea of reality and decide for herself than be guilted into a relationship she can't deal with later. It will be better for them both if she gets a perspective.
We support everyone associated with CF, Meghan. Now, I don't want to start a fight with you, but I think it's better than she gain some idea of reality and decide for herself than be guilted into a relationship she can't deal with later. It will be better for them both if she gets a perspective.
thelizardqueen
New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>I think you should go back to your comfortable little life where you can play princess and let him find REAL love
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
I don't think its a matter of her not "really" loving him. Its just a matter of her, not being able to love him regardless of her dreams. The fact that already she has a problem with certain "minority" things to me, means that she may not be capable of this relationship long term. Like I've said - she's got to do a lot of thinking and soul searching on her part. Not everyone can deal with a CFer long term. It takes a very special individual who is willing to drop all of their needs, and focus on the spouse with CF. I hate to say it, but its true. Your boyfriend will always have to come before you and your needs, or your dreams.
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
I don't think its a matter of her not "really" loving him. Its just a matter of her, not being able to love him regardless of her dreams. The fact that already she has a problem with certain "minority" things to me, means that she may not be capable of this relationship long term. Like I've said - she's got to do a lot of thinking and soul searching on her part. Not everyone can deal with a CFer long term. It takes a very special individual who is willing to drop all of their needs, and focus on the spouse with CF. I hate to say it, but its true. Your boyfriend will always have to come before you and your needs, or your dreams.
thelizardqueen
New member
<blockquote>Quote<br><hr><i>Originally posted by: <b>Anonymous</b></i><br>I think you should go back to your comfortable little life where you can play princess and let him find REAL love
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
I don't think its a matter of her not "really" loving him. Its just a matter of her, not being able to love him regardless of her dreams. The fact that already she has a problem with certain "minority" things to me, means that she may not be capable of this relationship long term. Like I've said - she's got to do a lot of thinking and soul searching on her part. Not everyone can deal with a CFer long term. It takes a very special individual who is willing to drop all of their needs, and focus on the spouse with CF. I hate to say it, but its true. Your boyfriend will always have to come before you and your needs, or your dreams.
Nobody in their right mind who actually loves a person would even doubt being with them so go tell your sob story to someone who cares<hr></blockquote>
I don't think its a matter of her not "really" loving him. Its just a matter of her, not being able to love him regardless of her dreams. The fact that already she has a problem with certain "minority" things to me, means that she may not be capable of this relationship long term. Like I've said - she's got to do a lot of thinking and soul searching on her part. Not everyone can deal with a CFer long term. It takes a very special individual who is willing to drop all of their needs, and focus on the spouse with CF. I hate to say it, but its true. Your boyfriend will always have to come before you and your needs, or your dreams.
I'm sorry that you are afraid and confused.
Well, my opinion is that love is the ultimate thing. You could marry a perfectly healthy man, and he could walk out his front door and get hit by a bus, and be a parapalegic for the reat of his life. But, if you love him, you would care for him wholeheartedly.
If you didn't really deeply love him, his care would be nothing but a burden and a thorn in your side.
You are walking into a relationship where you already know these things, and don't need the what-ifs. But, if there is true love here, that comes first and all other dreams and hopes fall into 2nd place. I may be wrong, but as someone else here also said, it sounds like you may love this man in a way, but are not yet in real love.
I don't fault you for coming here and asking. That is what dating is after all, and you're not engaged I presume. You're just trying to inform yourself, and that's good.
I would give this a little more time. There are some major stresses to life with CF, but remarkably, some people with it are among the most incredible you'll ever meet. Be fair to him, and don't prolong something if you have major doubts.
Again, whatever baggage and burdens you BOTH have, they all become just part of life when you truly are in love with a person.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Christian
Well, my opinion is that love is the ultimate thing. You could marry a perfectly healthy man, and he could walk out his front door and get hit by a bus, and be a parapalegic for the reat of his life. But, if you love him, you would care for him wholeheartedly.
If you didn't really deeply love him, his care would be nothing but a burden and a thorn in your side.
You are walking into a relationship where you already know these things, and don't need the what-ifs. But, if there is true love here, that comes first and all other dreams and hopes fall into 2nd place. I may be wrong, but as someone else here also said, it sounds like you may love this man in a way, but are not yet in real love.
I don't fault you for coming here and asking. That is what dating is after all, and you're not engaged I presume. You're just trying to inform yourself, and that's good.
I would give this a little more time. There are some major stresses to life with CF, but remarkably, some people with it are among the most incredible you'll ever meet. Be fair to him, and don't prolong something if you have major doubts.
Again, whatever baggage and burdens you BOTH have, they all become just part of life when you truly are in love with a person.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Christian
I'm sorry that you are afraid and confused.
Well, my opinion is that love is the ultimate thing. You could marry a perfectly healthy man, and he could walk out his front door and get hit by a bus, and be a parapalegic for the reat of his life. But, if you love him, you would care for him wholeheartedly.
If you didn't really deeply love him, his care would be nothing but a burden and a thorn in your side.
You are walking into a relationship where you already know these things, and don't need the what-ifs. But, if there is true love here, that comes first and all other dreams and hopes fall into 2nd place. I may be wrong, but as someone else here also said, it sounds like you may love this man in a way, but are not yet in real love.
I don't fault you for coming here and asking. That is what dating is after all, and you're not engaged I presume. You're just trying to inform yourself, and that's good.
I would give this a little more time. There are some major stresses to life with CF, but remarkably, some people with it are among the most incredible you'll ever meet. Be fair to him, and don't prolong something if you have major doubts.
Again, whatever baggage and burdens you BOTH have, they all become just part of life when you truly are in love with a person.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Christian
Well, my opinion is that love is the ultimate thing. You could marry a perfectly healthy man, and he could walk out his front door and get hit by a bus, and be a parapalegic for the reat of his life. But, if you love him, you would care for him wholeheartedly.
If you didn't really deeply love him, his care would be nothing but a burden and a thorn in your side.
You are walking into a relationship where you already know these things, and don't need the what-ifs. But, if there is true love here, that comes first and all other dreams and hopes fall into 2nd place. I may be wrong, but as someone else here also said, it sounds like you may love this man in a way, but are not yet in real love.
I don't fault you for coming here and asking. That is what dating is after all, and you're not engaged I presume. You're just trying to inform yourself, and that's good.
I would give this a little more time. There are some major stresses to life with CF, but remarkably, some people with it are among the most incredible you'll ever meet. Be fair to him, and don't prolong something if you have major doubts.
Again, whatever baggage and burdens you BOTH have, they all become just part of life when you truly are in love with a person.
If it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Christian
PS- I find that anonymous comment about the 'princess' extremely offensive and just plain stupid.
This girl is 21!!! She doesn't know what she wants!!
At least she was good enough to come here and ask strangers for advice and be honest about her fears. Some people would just walk away and dump a person with no explanation.
I'm not saying I think she's on the right track, I'm just saying don't knock someone for asking a question.
Christian
This girl is 21!!! She doesn't know what she wants!!
At least she was good enough to come here and ask strangers for advice and be honest about her fears. Some people would just walk away and dump a person with no explanation.
I'm not saying I think she's on the right track, I'm just saying don't knock someone for asking a question.
Christian
PS- I find that anonymous comment about the 'princess' extremely offensive and just plain stupid.
This girl is 21!!! She doesn't know what she wants!!
At least she was good enough to come here and ask strangers for advice and be honest about her fears. Some people would just walk away and dump a person with no explanation.
I'm not saying I think she's on the right track, I'm just saying don't knock someone for asking a question.
Christian
This girl is 21!!! She doesn't know what she wants!!
At least she was good enough to come here and ask strangers for advice and be honest about her fears. Some people would just walk away and dump a person with no explanation.
I'm not saying I think she's on the right track, I'm just saying don't knock someone for asking a question.
Christian