To have more children (with possible CF) or not

K

karismom

New member
Thank you Allie.

GOOD to hear from you! I even started a new post asking if you were OK! You and I and SO SO many others unfortunately know the absolute HORRORS of CF, and as I said, at the time we decided to have Holli Jade, it WAS a selfish gamble. ME ME ME. someone posted earlier and asked if these moms would take any other 25% chance at their child getting hurt, etc. that was such a VALID question. I TRULY believe that if any of the moms who are even thinking about having another child had to for ONE moment watch one of their others suffer the end stages of CF <img src="i/expressions/coughing.gif" border="0"> <img src="i/expressions/noseblow.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/oxygen2.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/vest.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/neb.gif" border="0"> they would quickly change their tune.

peace.

lisa <img src="i/expressions/rose.gif" border="0">
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
Sean is 10 and is fully aware of what CF means. His CF is moderate/severe not mild like many 10 year olds. That said, I still wouldn't seek his approval or acceptance of another child. Facts are, 10 year olds still don't have any concept of the long term implications.

Just curious Laurie, but you mentioned your son would be fine with another baby not having CF. What about another baby having CF. What if that baby was sicker (requiring more care, cross infection issues, etc.)? What if that baby was healthier? Would he think that was fair?

I tire of this arguement because of the many parents here that have "healthy" children telling all of us it isn't that bad and discounting the opinions of those who have seen just how bad it can be. Take the time to learn from the experience of others (like Lisa).

Ask any parent who has watched their child die (CF or not) and <b>listen to them</b>! No normal (ie. loving and selfless) parent would choose that for their child.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
Sean is 10 and is fully aware of what CF means. His CF is moderate/severe not mild like many 10 year olds. That said, I still wouldn't seek his approval or acceptance of another child. Facts are, 10 year olds still don't have any concept of the long term implications.

Just curious Laurie, but you mentioned your son would be fine with another baby not having CF. What about another baby having CF. What if that baby was sicker (requiring more care, cross infection issues, etc.)? What if that baby was healthier? Would he think that was fair?

I tire of this arguement because of the many parents here that have "healthy" children telling all of us it isn't that bad and discounting the opinions of those who have seen just how bad it can be. Take the time to learn from the experience of others (like Lisa).

Ask any parent who has watched their child die (CF or not) and <b>listen to them</b>! No normal (ie. loving and selfless) parent would choose that for their child.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
Sean is 10 and is fully aware of what CF means. His CF is moderate/severe not mild like many 10 year olds. That said, I still wouldn't seek his approval or acceptance of another child. Facts are, 10 year olds still don't have any concept of the long term implications.

Just curious Laurie, but you mentioned your son would be fine with another baby not having CF. What about another baby having CF. What if that baby was sicker (requiring more care, cross infection issues, etc.)? What if that baby was healthier? Would he think that was fair?

I tire of this arguement because of the many parents here that have "healthy" children telling all of us it isn't that bad and discounting the opinions of those who have seen just how bad it can be. Take the time to learn from the experience of others (like Lisa).

Ask any parent who has watched their child die (CF or not) and <b>listen to them</b>! No normal (ie. loving and selfless) parent would choose that for their child.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
Sean is 10 and is fully aware of what CF means. His CF is moderate/severe not mild like many 10 year olds. That said, I still wouldn't seek his approval or acceptance of another child. Facts are, 10 year olds still don't have any concept of the long term implications.

Just curious Laurie, but you mentioned your son would be fine with another baby not having CF. What about another baby having CF. What if that baby was sicker (requiring more care, cross infection issues, etc.)? What if that baby was healthier? Would he think that was fair?

I tire of this arguement because of the many parents here that have "healthy" children telling all of us it isn't that bad and discounting the opinions of those who have seen just how bad it can be. Take the time to learn from the experience of others (like Lisa).

Ask any parent who has watched their child die (CF or not) and <b>listen to them</b>! No normal (ie. loving and selfless) parent would choose that for their child.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
Sean is 10 and is fully aware of what CF means. His CF is moderate/severe not mild like many 10 year olds. That said, I still wouldn't seek his approval or acceptance of another child. Facts are, 10 year olds still don't have any concept of the long term implications.

Just curious Laurie, but you mentioned your son would be fine with another baby not having CF. What about another baby having CF. What if that baby was sicker (requiring more care, cross infection issues, etc.)? What if that baby was healthier? Would he think that was fair?

I tire of this arguement because of the many parents here that have "healthy" children telling all of us it isn't that bad and discounting the opinions of those who have seen just how bad it can be. Take the time to learn from the experience of others (like Lisa).

Ask any parent who has watched their child die (CF or not) and <b>listen to them</b>! No normal (ie. loving and selfless) parent would choose that for their child.
 
C

CFHockeyMom

New member
Sean is 10 and is fully aware of what CF means. His CF is moderate/severe not mild like many 10 year olds. That said, I still wouldn't seek his approval or acceptance of another child. Facts are, 10 year olds still don't have any concept of the long term implications.

Just curious Laurie, but you mentioned your son would be fine with another baby not having CF. What about another baby having CF. What if that baby was sicker (requiring more care, cross infection issues, etc.)? What if that baby was healthier? Would he think that was fair?

I tire of this arguement because of the many parents here that have "healthy" children telling all of us it isn't that bad and discounting the opinions of those who have seen just how bad it can be. Take the time to learn from the experience of others (like Lisa).

Ask any parent who has watched their child die (CF or not) and <b>listen to them</b>! No normal (ie. loving and selfless) parent would choose that for their child.
 
H

hopesiris

Guest
I think there is a tremendous amount of sensitivity in the CF community about referring to someone with cystic fibrosis as "healthy" even if they are doing well. I've also noticed a lot of sarcasm from those of us adults with what is referred to as "mild" (atypical) CF since many of us are symtomatic and face the same problems as younger typical CFers.

Just stating what I'm observing. Since I'm newly diagnosed I've been surfing the forums a lot.
 
H

hopesiris

Guest
I think there is a tremendous amount of sensitivity in the CF community about referring to someone with cystic fibrosis as "healthy" even if they are doing well. I've also noticed a lot of sarcasm from those of us adults with what is referred to as "mild" (atypical) CF since many of us are symtomatic and face the same problems as younger typical CFers.

Just stating what I'm observing. Since I'm newly diagnosed I've been surfing the forums a lot.
 
H

hopesiris

Guest
I think there is a tremendous amount of sensitivity in the CF community about referring to someone with cystic fibrosis as "healthy" even if they are doing well. I've also noticed a lot of sarcasm from those of us adults with what is referred to as "mild" (atypical) CF since many of us are symtomatic and face the same problems as younger typical CFers.

Just stating what I'm observing. Since I'm newly diagnosed I've been surfing the forums a lot.
 
H

hopesiris

Guest
I think there is a tremendous amount of sensitivity in the CF community about referring to someone with cystic fibrosis as "healthy" even if they are doing well. I've also noticed a lot of sarcasm from those of us adults with what is referred to as "mild" (atypical) CF since many of us are symtomatic and face the same problems as younger typical CFers.

Just stating what I'm observing. Since I'm newly diagnosed I've been surfing the forums a lot.
 
H

hopesiris

Guest
I think there is a tremendous amount of sensitivity in the CF community about referring to someone with cystic fibrosis as "healthy" even if they are doing well. I've also noticed a lot of sarcasm from those of us adults with what is referred to as "mild" (atypical) CF since many of us are symtomatic and face the same problems as younger typical CFers.

Just stating what I'm observing. Since I'm newly diagnosed I've been surfing the forums a lot.
 
H

hopesiris

Guest
I think there is a tremendous amount of sensitivity in the CF community about referring to someone with cystic fibrosis as "healthy" even if they are doing well. I've also noticed a lot of sarcasm from those of us adults with what is referred to as "mild" (atypical) CF since many of us are symtomatic and face the same problems as younger typical CFers.

Just stating what I'm observing. Since I'm newly diagnosed I've been surfing the forums a lot.
 
T

tammykrumrey

Guest
I do have two children who both have CF. But I was 5 months pregnant with the second when my first was dx. I really wanted three children, but was terrified to try again.

Those of us whose children are young and doing well do have a tough time understanding how bad it can get. It is so hard for us to grasp that concept because we haven't been there.

So with that said, I appreciate the fact that many of you, who have seen the worst, are sharing your experiences with us, no matter how much it hurts us parents with 'healthy CFers' (although I don't think there is really such a thing as a healthy CFer). I think before coming to this forum, I could had been in a bit of denial to the fact that the girls CF will get worst. But you all have helped me learn and understand so much.

I don't think most of us parents with more than one child with CF are selfish. It truely is hard for us to understand. I know that I could easily fall into the trap thinking that my kids are perfect and always will be, because I am always told how great they look and are doing when at CF clinic. But I know better. I do know it's progressive, and it will get worst, the only thing I don't know is when and how quickly or slowly.

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or have seen the suffering and pain done from this horrible disease. I am so sorry that anyone has had to experience that. But please don't be angry at the parents who haven't experienced it. It really is so hard when you love your children so much to think that they will ever suffer. But with your patience, guidance and experiences that you share, maybe we can have a better understanding.
 
T

tammykrumrey

Guest
I do have two children who both have CF. But I was 5 months pregnant with the second when my first was dx. I really wanted three children, but was terrified to try again.

Those of us whose children are young and doing well do have a tough time understanding how bad it can get. It is so hard for us to grasp that concept because we haven't been there.

So with that said, I appreciate the fact that many of you, who have seen the worst, are sharing your experiences with us, no matter how much it hurts us parents with 'healthy CFers' (although I don't think there is really such a thing as a healthy CFer). I think before coming to this forum, I could had been in a bit of denial to the fact that the girls CF will get worst. But you all have helped me learn and understand so much.

I don't think most of us parents with more than one child with CF are selfish. It truely is hard for us to understand. I know that I could easily fall into the trap thinking that my kids are perfect and always will be, because I am always told how great they look and are doing when at CF clinic. But I know better. I do know it's progressive, and it will get worst, the only thing I don't know is when and how quickly or slowly.

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or have seen the suffering and pain done from this horrible disease. I am so sorry that anyone has had to experience that. But please don't be angry at the parents who haven't experienced it. It really is so hard when you love your children so much to think that they will ever suffer. But with your patience, guidance and experiences that you share, maybe we can have a better understanding.
 
T

tammykrumrey

Guest
I do have two children who both have CF. But I was 5 months pregnant with the second when my first was dx. I really wanted three children, but was terrified to try again.

Those of us whose children are young and doing well do have a tough time understanding how bad it can get. It is so hard for us to grasp that concept because we haven't been there.

So with that said, I appreciate the fact that many of you, who have seen the worst, are sharing your experiences with us, no matter how much it hurts us parents with 'healthy CFers' (although I don't think there is really such a thing as a healthy CFer). I think before coming to this forum, I could had been in a bit of denial to the fact that the girls CF will get worst. But you all have helped me learn and understand so much.

I don't think most of us parents with more than one child with CF are selfish. It truely is hard for us to understand. I know that I could easily fall into the trap thinking that my kids are perfect and always will be, because I am always told how great they look and are doing when at CF clinic. But I know better. I do know it's progressive, and it will get worst, the only thing I don't know is when and how quickly or slowly.

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or have seen the suffering and pain done from this horrible disease. I am so sorry that anyone has had to experience that. But please don't be angry at the parents who haven't experienced it. It really is so hard when you love your children so much to think that they will ever suffer. But with your patience, guidance and experiences that you share, maybe we can have a better understanding.
 
T

tammykrumrey

Guest
I do have two children who both have CF. But I was 5 months pregnant with the second when my first was dx. I really wanted three children, but was terrified to try again.

Those of us whose children are young and doing well do have a tough time understanding how bad it can get. It is so hard for us to grasp that concept because we haven't been there.

So with that said, I appreciate the fact that many of you, who have seen the worst, are sharing your experiences with us, no matter how much it hurts us parents with 'healthy CFers' (although I don't think there is really such a thing as a healthy CFer). I think before coming to this forum, I could had been in a bit of denial to the fact that the girls CF will get worst. But you all have helped me learn and understand so much.

I don't think most of us parents with more than one child with CF are selfish. It truely is hard for us to understand. I know that I could easily fall into the trap thinking that my kids are perfect and always will be, because I am always told how great they look and are doing when at CF clinic. But I know better. I do know it's progressive, and it will get worst, the only thing I don't know is when and how quickly or slowly.

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or have seen the suffering and pain done from this horrible disease. I am so sorry that anyone has had to experience that. But please don't be angry at the parents who haven't experienced it. It really is so hard when you love your children so much to think that they will ever suffer. But with your patience, guidance and experiences that you share, maybe we can have a better understanding.
 
T

tammykrumrey

Guest
I do have two children who both have CF. But I was 5 months pregnant with the second when my first was dx. I really wanted three children, but was terrified to try again.

Those of us whose children are young and doing well do have a tough time understanding how bad it can get. It is so hard for us to grasp that concept because we haven't been there.

So with that said, I appreciate the fact that many of you, who have seen the worst, are sharing your experiences with us, no matter how much it hurts us parents with 'healthy CFers' (although I don't think there is really such a thing as a healthy CFer). I think before coming to this forum, I could had been in a bit of denial to the fact that the girls CF will get worst. But you all have helped me learn and understand so much.

I don't think most of us parents with more than one child with CF are selfish. It truely is hard for us to understand. I know that I could easily fall into the trap thinking that my kids are perfect and always will be, because I am always told how great they look and are doing when at CF clinic. But I know better. I do know it's progressive, and it will get worst, the only thing I don't know is when and how quickly or slowly.

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or have seen the suffering and pain done from this horrible disease. I am so sorry that anyone has had to experience that. But please don't be angry at the parents who haven't experienced it. It really is so hard when you love your children so much to think that they will ever suffer. But with your patience, guidance and experiences that you share, maybe we can have a better understanding.
 
T

tammykrumrey

Guest
I do have two children who both have CF. But I was 5 months pregnant with the second when my first was dx. I really wanted three children, but was terrified to try again.

Those of us whose children are young and doing well do have a tough time understanding how bad it can get. It is so hard for us to grasp that concept because we haven't been there.

So with that said, I appreciate the fact that many of you, who have seen the worst, are sharing your experiences with us, no matter how much it hurts us parents with 'healthy CFers' (although I don't think there is really such a thing as a healthy CFer). I think before coming to this forum, I could had been in a bit of denial to the fact that the girls CF will get worst. But you all have helped me learn and understand so much.

I don't think most of us parents with more than one child with CF are selfish. It truely is hard for us to understand. I know that I could easily fall into the trap thinking that my kids are perfect and always will be, because I am always told how great they look and are doing when at CF clinic. But I know better. I do know it's progressive, and it will get worst, the only thing I don't know is when and how quickly or slowly.

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or have seen the suffering and pain done from this horrible disease. I am so sorry that anyone has had to experience that. But please don't be angry at the parents who haven't experienced it. It really is so hard when you love your children so much to think that they will ever suffer. But with your patience, guidance and experiences that you share, maybe we can have a better understanding.
 
D

Darinsmom

New member
CFHockeymom, What if our 3rd was healthy and no CF at all? I did tell Darin that if we had another one, that this one could be sicker etc...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top