To have more children (with possible CF) or not

shamrock · Apr 7, 2007

Chrissyd,

Do you not feel with your cf that you know no other norm? You say you didn't have a normal childhood, and you don't have a 'normal' life now. You take a bazillion tablets, physio yadda yadda. My regime was the same, but apart from stays in hospital (and perhaps in my naievity) I always considered myself to be 'normal'. My cf never really held me back apart from a handful of occasions.

Perhaps you are very sick but I don't understand why you are unable to particiapte so much with your friends/family. What is holding you back? I hope I don't come off too judgemental, I'm just curious.

Emily,
I take your point about cancer/genetic thing. I was simply commenting on the person who said 'what's the point if you're going to die early' comment, which I felt was ridiculous, as to me length of life has nothing to do with how you live your life.

Emily65Roses · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>shamrock</b></i>
Emily,

I take your point about cancer/genetic thing. I was simply commenting on the person who said 'what's the point if you're going to die early' comment, <b>which I felt was ridiculous</b>, as to me length of life has nothing to do with how you live your life.</end quote></div>

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Agreed.

Emily65Roses · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>shamrock</b></i>
Emily,

I take your point about cancer/genetic thing. I was simply commenting on the person who said 'what's the point if you're going to die early' comment, <b>which I felt was ridiculous</b>, as to me length of life has nothing to do with how you live your life.</end quote></div>

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Agreed.

Emily65Roses · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>shamrock</b></i>
Emily,

I take your point about cancer/genetic thing. I was simply commenting on the person who said 'what's the point if you're going to die early' comment, <b>which I felt was ridiculous</b>, as to me length of life has nothing to do with how you live your life.</end quote></div>

<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> Agreed.

Hermit · Apr 7, 2007

There is no genome for the human spirit.

Knowing or not shouldn't matter, if you want another child go for it...who cares if he ends up with CF or not? That should not affect your decision. There are so many things that could end up happening even to a "normal" child that CF shouldn't be a factor.

I am the eldest of five kids. My mom is a doctor--an obstetrician, in fact--who knew when I was born that I had CF (meconium ileus). She went on to have four more kids, three of whom don't have CF, and one of whom did. He sadly passed away a few years ago, at the age of 18.

I'm almost 26, am happily married, an athlete and professional artist and there is no way that either myself, or my brother, would ever have felt resentful towards our parents for having us. Life is sad and tragic sometimes, and there is suffering. That's what life is. We can grow from it, right?

I just feel extremely lucky that mom and dad went on to have all of my siblings, and we're a very close, loving family. I'm also happy that when I eventually pass on, as Bill did, my Mom and Dad will still have my three "healthy, normal" siblings, and they will have each other.

That's my opinion, based on personal experience.

Hermit · Apr 7, 2007

There is no genome for the human spirit.

Knowing or not shouldn't matter, if you want another child go for it...who cares if he ends up with CF or not? That should not affect your decision. There are so many things that could end up happening even to a "normal" child that CF shouldn't be a factor.

I am the eldest of five kids. My mom is a doctor--an obstetrician, in fact--who knew when I was born that I had CF (meconium ileus). She went on to have four more kids, three of whom don't have CF, and one of whom did. He sadly passed away a few years ago, at the age of 18.

I'm almost 26, am happily married, an athlete and professional artist and there is no way that either myself, or my brother, would ever have felt resentful towards our parents for having us. Life is sad and tragic sometimes, and there is suffering. That's what life is. We can grow from it, right?

I just feel extremely lucky that mom and dad went on to have all of my siblings, and we're a very close, loving family. I'm also happy that when I eventually pass on, as Bill did, my Mom and Dad will still have my three "healthy, normal" siblings, and they will have each other.

That's my opinion, based on personal experience.

Hermit · Apr 7, 2007

There is no genome for the human spirit.

Knowing or not shouldn't matter, if you want another child go for it...who cares if he ends up with CF or not? That should not affect your decision. There are so many things that could end up happening even to a "normal" child that CF shouldn't be a factor.

I am the eldest of five kids. My mom is a doctor--an obstetrician, in fact--who knew when I was born that I had CF (meconium ileus). She went on to have four more kids, three of whom don't have CF, and one of whom did. He sadly passed away a few years ago, at the age of 18.

I'm almost 26, am happily married, an athlete and professional artist and there is no way that either myself, or my brother, would ever have felt resentful towards our parents for having us. Life is sad and tragic sometimes, and there is suffering. That's what life is. We can grow from it, right?

I just feel extremely lucky that mom and dad went on to have all of my siblings, and we're a very close, loving family. I'm also happy that when I eventually pass on, as Bill did, my Mom and Dad will still have my three "healthy, normal" siblings, and they will have each other.

That's my opinion, based on personal experience.

JazzysMom · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Hermit</b></i>

Knowing or not shouldn't matter, if you want another child go for it...who cares if he ends up with CF or not? That should not affect your decision. There are so many things that could end up happening even to a "normal" child that CF shouldn't be a factor.

That's my opinion, based on personal experience.</end quote></div>

For some reason I am surprised that you are so "easy going" about this. I just had to say that because I was taken back. No offense I hope you realize. I just didnt think you would respond this way......SORRY ON WITH THE THREAD!

JazzysMom · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Hermit</b></i>

Knowing or not shouldn't matter, if you want another child go for it...who cares if he ends up with CF or not? That should not affect your decision. There are so many things that could end up happening even to a "normal" child that CF shouldn't be a factor.

That's my opinion, based on personal experience.</end quote></div>

For some reason I am surprised that you are so "easy going" about this. I just had to say that because I was taken back. No offense I hope you realize. I just didnt think you would respond this way......SORRY ON WITH THE THREAD!

JazzysMom · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Hermit</b></i>

Knowing or not shouldn't matter, if you want another child go for it...who cares if he ends up with CF or not? That should not affect your decision. There are so many things that could end up happening even to a "normal" child that CF shouldn't be a factor.

That's my opinion, based on personal experience.</end quote></div>

For some reason I am surprised that you are so "easy going" about this. I just had to say that because I was taken back. No offense I hope you realize. I just didnt think you would respond this way......SORRY ON WITH THE THREAD!

Lilith · Apr 7, 2007

Oh, boy...here we go! I'm going to throw in my lot with Emily and bash my head against a wall, too! Wee!

In all seriousness, I ask all of you people with the "who cares if the child ends up with CF? There are so many other things that could happen to a normal kid" argument;

Do you consciously KNOW these other things you speak of? Do you consciously KNOW your kid will get cancer, or get hit by a truck? Of course you don't. If you do, please, send me next week's lotto numbers.

However, if both parents are carriers... That would give the kid a REALLY GOOD CHANCE of having CF, would it not? Therefore, you consciously KNOW you're putting your kid's life and health at risk, no?

Its common sense! The "a child could end up with anything" argument is totally illogical!! You <b>know</b> about CF, you <b>know</b> the risk, you <b>know</b> what has an extremely good chance of happening! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HEALTH OF THAT CHILD, period, end of story! Primal urges to breed do not override that! And yes, I say primal urges because that's what it is. Human beings are animals, too, so don't take that as "oh, you guys are monkeys" or something stupid like that.

Of course, I have no idea why I'm even commenting because all of the "pro-lifers" will make excuses until their faces turn blue, despite facts, moral or otherwise. But whatever. Its not my life, its not my kid. I'm just really going to shake my head in disgust when more and more CFers are born into the world despite the parents knowing the facts <b>and having options</b>. And that's the truth about how I really feel. I'm not holding back, and I'm not trying to be tactful anymore, because that obviously doesn't work and I'm frustrated to death with this topic.

Lilith · Apr 7, 2007

Oh, boy...here we go! I'm going to throw in my lot with Emily and bash my head against a wall, too! Wee!

In all seriousness, I ask all of you people with the "who cares if the child ends up with CF? There are so many other things that could happen to a normal kid" argument;

Do you consciously KNOW these other things you speak of? Do you consciously KNOW your kid will get cancer, or get hit by a truck? Of course you don't. If you do, please, send me next week's lotto numbers.

However, if both parents are carriers... That would give the kid a REALLY GOOD CHANCE of having CF, would it not? Therefore, you consciously KNOW you're putting your kid's life and health at risk, no?

Its common sense! The "a child could end up with anything" argument is totally illogical!! You <b>know</b> about CF, you <b>know</b> the risk, you <b>know</b> what has an extremely good chance of happening! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HEALTH OF THAT CHILD, period, end of story! Primal urges to breed do not override that! And yes, I say primal urges because that's what it is. Human beings are animals, too, so don't take that as "oh, you guys are monkeys" or something stupid like that.

Of course, I have no idea why I'm even commenting because all of the "pro-lifers" will make excuses until their faces turn blue, despite facts, moral or otherwise. But whatever. Its not my life, its not my kid. I'm just really going to shake my head in disgust when more and more CFers are born into the world despite the parents knowing the facts <b>and having options</b>. And that's the truth about how I really feel. I'm not holding back, and I'm not trying to be tactful anymore, because that obviously doesn't work and I'm frustrated to death with this topic.

Lilith · Apr 7, 2007

Oh, boy...here we go! I'm going to throw in my lot with Emily and bash my head against a wall, too! Wee!

In all seriousness, I ask all of you people with the "who cares if the child ends up with CF? There are so many other things that could happen to a normal kid" argument;

Do you consciously KNOW these other things you speak of? Do you consciously KNOW your kid will get cancer, or get hit by a truck? Of course you don't. If you do, please, send me next week's lotto numbers.

However, if both parents are carriers... That would give the kid a REALLY GOOD CHANCE of having CF, would it not? Therefore, you consciously KNOW you're putting your kid's life and health at risk, no?

Its common sense! The "a child could end up with anything" argument is totally illogical!! You <b>know</b> about CF, you <b>know</b> the risk, you <b>know</b> what has an extremely good chance of happening! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HEALTH OF THAT CHILD, period, end of story! Primal urges to breed do not override that! And yes, I say primal urges because that's what it is. Human beings are animals, too, so don't take that as "oh, you guys are monkeys" or something stupid like that.

Of course, I have no idea why I'm even commenting because all of the "pro-lifers" will make excuses until their faces turn blue, despite facts, moral or otherwise. But whatever. Its not my life, its not my kid. I'm just really going to shake my head in disgust when more and more CFers are born into the world despite the parents knowing the facts <b>and having options</b>. And that's the truth about how I really feel. I'm not holding back, and I'm not trying to be tactful anymore, because that obviously doesn't work and I'm frustrated to death with this topic.

shamrock · Apr 7, 2007

Lilith,

I can't speak for others, but perhaps (if you read my post) you missed my point. Indeed I may have missed yours.

When people are saying 'child could have cancer, hit by truck yadda yadda', they are saying that life has a way of working itself, so even if you prevent CF, something ridiculously crappy could happen anyway. I DO see the point that with CF you KNOW you are taking a risk, unlike cancer/truck hitting, but I think when people say these things they are trying to say that there is only so much prevention and protection you can give a child... I think people 'like me' are using that example to say that anything can happen. It may be a poor example because prehaps there are no good examples or way to justify risking CF.

But seriously, are all your lives THAT bad?? That's the part I can't get my head around. CF is annoying, frustrating, and all things negative, but its only a part of who you are.

shamrock · Apr 7, 2007

Lilith,

I can't speak for others, but perhaps (if you read my post) you missed my point. Indeed I may have missed yours.

When people are saying 'child could have cancer, hit by truck yadda yadda', they are saying that life has a way of working itself, so even if you prevent CF, something ridiculously crappy could happen anyway. I DO see the point that with CF you KNOW you are taking a risk, unlike cancer/truck hitting, but I think when people say these things they are trying to say that there is only so much prevention and protection you can give a child... I think people 'like me' are using that example to say that anything can happen. It may be a poor example because prehaps there are no good examples or way to justify risking CF.

But seriously, are all your lives THAT bad?? That's the part I can't get my head around. CF is annoying, frustrating, and all things negative, but its only a part of who you are.

shamrock · Apr 7, 2007

Lilith,

I can't speak for others, but perhaps (if you read my post) you missed my point. Indeed I may have missed yours.

When people are saying 'child could have cancer, hit by truck yadda yadda', they are saying that life has a way of working itself, so even if you prevent CF, something ridiculously crappy could happen anyway. I DO see the point that with CF you KNOW you are taking a risk, unlike cancer/truck hitting, but I think when people say these things they are trying to say that there is only so much prevention and protection you can give a child... I think people 'like me' are using that example to say that anything can happen. It may be a poor example because prehaps there are no good examples or way to justify risking CF.

But seriously, are all your lives THAT bad?? That's the part I can't get my head around. CF is annoying, frustrating, and all things negative, but its only a part of who you are.

lightNlife · Apr 7, 2007

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/122843/cystic_fibrosis_and_goalsetting.html">Can't Vs. Shouldn't</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/81704/a_day_in_the_life_of_an_adult_with.html">A Day in the Life of an Adult with CF</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://helium.com/tm/184843/lewis-future-something-which">Living with Invisible Illness</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=12726&catid=1107">Between a Rock and a Hard Place</a>

lightNlife · Apr 7, 2007

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/122843/cystic_fibrosis_and_goalsetting.html">Can't Vs. Shouldn't</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/81704/a_day_in_the_life_of_an_adult_with.html">A Day in the Life of an Adult with CF</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://helium.com/tm/184843/lewis-future-something-which">Living with Invisible Illness</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=12726&catid=1107">Between a Rock and a Hard Place</a>

lightNlife · Apr 7, 2007

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/122843/cystic_fibrosis_and_goalsetting.html">Can't Vs. Shouldn't</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/81704/a_day_in_the_life_of_an_adult_with.html">A Day in the Life of an Adult with CF</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://helium.com/tm/184843/lewis-future-something-which">Living with Invisible Illness</a>

<a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://blogs.cysticfibrosis.com/blogpost.cfm?threadid=12726&catid=1107">Between a Rock and a Hard Place</a>

chrissyd · Apr 7, 2007

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>TextPerhaps you are very sick but I don't understand why you are unable to particiapte so much with your friends/family. What is holding you back? I hope I don't come off too judgemental, I'm just curious. </end quote></div>

No worries! I didn't explain my situation a lot; but wanted to sat that my life; my childhood is no where near normal. Never has been. When I was younger they didn't know I had CF. So my not normal childhood was also a product of not recieveing the correct treatmenst.
Now; however even with the correct treatments I still feel hindered.
I am not able to attend functions held outside; because of sinus problems.
I am not able to go to parties with friends and/or family (65% of them; not all) because of cigarette smoke.
I also have huge ear problems; mainly because my eustation (sp?) tubes are clogged often. So I get headaches and ear aches frequently.
Like I siad, many but not all. My CF could be worse but b/c of my mutations and my current care (knock on wood) it's good right now. I do think that many "normal" people don't worry about the little things I do with CF. As achild even not knowing that it was CF; I didn't understand why I had so many ear infections, or why I was always coughing. The othe kids didn't.

I guess I was just trying to explain that having CF makes you different. Not different in a bad way; but it changes how you live, even how you think about things.
Do I think I'm "normal"? No. Many on this site might not see anything wrong with me but as a child I was not like other children seen as "normal" and as an adult...it is still the same.
My mild mutation doesn't feel mild to me; although reading what many on this site expirience it is.

To have more children (with possible CF) or not

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