TO THE CFERS

Seana30 · Jun 19, 2007

Courtney is at her dad's house in North Carolina.

Got a text message from her today that said.........

Mom, just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Would have called but I am sick, throat hurts, real bad cough, and a headache.

Now, the mom side of me wanted to jump on a plane and fly 1000 miles just to see how my baby was. The rational side of me called her up and asked her how she was doing. I asked her if she felt she needed to see a doctor and if she had a fever.

This got me thinking today, so I have some questions for y'all.

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you?

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility?

Thanks!!

Seana

Seana30 · Jun 19, 2007

Courtney is at her dad's house in North Carolina.

Got a text message from her today that said.........

Mom, just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Would have called but I am sick, throat hurts, real bad cough, and a headache.

Now, the mom side of me wanted to jump on a plane and fly 1000 miles just to see how my baby was. The rational side of me called her up and asked her how she was doing. I asked her if she felt she needed to see a doctor and if she had a fever.

This got me thinking today, so I have some questions for y'all.

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you?

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility?

Thanks!!

Seana

Seana30 · Jun 19, 2007

Courtney is at her dad's house in North Carolina.

Got a text message from her today that said.........

Mom, just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Would have called but I am sick, throat hurts, real bad cough, and a headache.

Now, the mom side of me wanted to jump on a plane and fly 1000 miles just to see how my baby was. The rational side of me called her up and asked her how she was doing. I asked her if she felt she needed to see a doctor and if she had a fever.

This got me thinking today, so I have some questions for y'all.

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you?

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility?

Thanks!!

Seana

Seana30 · Jun 19, 2007

Courtney is at her dad's house in North Carolina.

Got a text message from her today that said.........

Mom, just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Would have called but I am sick, throat hurts, real bad cough, and a headache.

Now, the mom side of me wanted to jump on a plane and fly 1000 miles just to see how my baby was. The rational side of me called her up and asked her how she was doing. I asked her if she felt she needed to see a doctor and if she had a fever.

This got me thinking today, so I have some questions for y'all.

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you?

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility?

Thanks!!

Seana

Seana30 · Jun 19, 2007

Courtney is at her dad's house in North Carolina.

Got a text message from her today that said.........

Mom, just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Would have called but I am sick, throat hurts, real bad cough, and a headache.

Now, the mom side of me wanted to jump on a plane and fly 1000 miles just to see how my baby was. The rational side of me called her up and asked her how she was doing. I asked her if she felt she needed to see a doctor and if she had a fever.

This got me thinking today, so I have some questions for y'all.

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you?

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility?

Thanks!!

Seana

Seana30 · Jun 19, 2007

Courtney is at her dad's house in North Carolina.

Got a text message from her today that said.........

Mom, just wanted to tell you happy birthday. Would have called but I am sick, throat hurts, real bad cough, and a headache.

Now, the mom side of me wanted to jump on a plane and fly 1000 miles just to see how my baby was. The rational side of me called her up and asked her how she was doing. I asked her if she felt she needed to see a doctor and if she had a fever.

This got me thinking today, so I have some questions for y'all.

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you?

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility?

Thanks!!

Seana

spicyone18 · Jun 19, 2007

Seana sorry to hear Courtney isn't feeling well. The moment I say somthing about not feeling to well my mom starts telling me to call the doctor.

My mom pretty much turned everything over to me at 18. Thats when she also stopped going to the doctors with me.

Now this doesn't mean she still doesn't nag at me about doing treatments, night feedings and what not.

There is only a few times where she has dragged me to the ER or called the doctor when I thought I didn't need to go and she ended up being right. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

spicyone18 · Jun 19, 2007

Seana sorry to hear Courtney isn't feeling well. The moment I say somthing about not feeling to well my mom starts telling me to call the doctor.

My mom pretty much turned everything over to me at 18. Thats when she also stopped going to the doctors with me.

Now this doesn't mean she still doesn't nag at me about doing treatments, night feedings and what not.

There is only a few times where she has dragged me to the ER or called the doctor when I thought I didn't need to go and she ended up being right. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

spicyone18 · Jun 19, 2007

Seana sorry to hear Courtney isn't feeling well. The moment I say somthing about not feeling to well my mom starts telling me to call the doctor.

My mom pretty much turned everything over to me at 18. Thats when she also stopped going to the doctors with me.

Now this doesn't mean she still doesn't nag at me about doing treatments, night feedings and what not.

There is only a few times where she has dragged me to the ER or called the doctor when I thought I didn't need to go and she ended up being right. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

spicyone18 · Jun 19, 2007

Seana sorry to hear Courtney isn't feeling well. The moment I say somthing about not feeling to well my mom starts telling me to call the doctor.

My mom pretty much turned everything over to me at 18. Thats when she also stopped going to the doctors with me.

Now this doesn't mean she still doesn't nag at me about doing treatments, night feedings and what not.

There is only a few times where she has dragged me to the ER or called the doctor when I thought I didn't need to go and she ended up being right. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

spicyone18 · Jun 19, 2007

Seana sorry to hear Courtney isn't feeling well. The moment I say somthing about not feeling to well my mom starts telling me to call the doctor.

My mom pretty much turned everything over to me at 18. Thats when she also stopped going to the doctors with me.

Now this doesn't mean she still doesn't nag at me about doing treatments, night feedings and what not.

There is only a few times where she has dragged me to the ER or called the doctor when I thought I didn't need to go and she ended up being right. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

spicyone18 · Jun 19, 2007

Seana sorry to hear Courtney isn't feeling well. The moment I say somthing about not feeling to well my mom starts telling me to call the doctor.

My mom pretty much turned everything over to me at 18. Thats when she also stopped going to the doctors with me.

Now this doesn't mean she still doesn't nag at me about doing treatments, night feedings and what not.

There is only a few times where she has dragged me to the ER or called the doctor when I thought I didn't need to go and she ended up being right. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Emily65Roses · Jun 19, 2007

All the stuff was my responsibility from fairly early on. After I became able to do it myself, I did. After my mom knew that I understood the seriousness of it all, she left it up to me whether or not to do it. My mom kept coming to my appointments with me longer than that, though. Until I was 19 or 20. I didn't mind, so when she wanted to come, I let her. Mike sort of replaced her in that aspect. Now he always comes, and my mom comes maybe once a year (she likes my doc too, likes to pop her head in say hi, see how things are, etc). But as she knows I'm not a moron, after she pops her head in, she goes back to letting me take care of it myself.

It's not going to be the same all around, as you know. You have to go by the individual. Once you feel Courtney is old and responsible enough to take care of the stuff (or when she starts doing it on her own, or tells you to back off or whatever), let her. I can't say there's an age that that works. Some kids do fine by the time they're 10, others need to be prodded into and through adulthood. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking about meds and appointments and stuff, though, that would be the cue to back off a bit. Other than that, go with the flow. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Even if she's not doing them properly, it may be hard, but you may need to let her run that course. I did that around the time I was 16, 17. I decided I didn't want to do all my crap, and my mom knew she couldn't force me, so she didn't try. She also knew I was smoking pot, but again other than a quick "I don't care about the pot, I just wish you wouldn't smoke it," she kept out of it because she knew it'd spur me on if she told me not to. Eventually, I got my head out of my ass, and I started back being responsible. It didn't take too long, maybe only a year or two... and mind you, even for a rebellious little butthead, I still did all my nebs. Just no therapy and I was iffy on my enzymes.

I think I'm done now. Haha.

Emily65Roses · Jun 19, 2007

All the stuff was my responsibility from fairly early on. After I became able to do it myself, I did. After my mom knew that I understood the seriousness of it all, she left it up to me whether or not to do it. My mom kept coming to my appointments with me longer than that, though. Until I was 19 or 20. I didn't mind, so when she wanted to come, I let her. Mike sort of replaced her in that aspect. Now he always comes, and my mom comes maybe once a year (she likes my doc too, likes to pop her head in say hi, see how things are, etc). But as she knows I'm not a moron, after she pops her head in, she goes back to letting me take care of it myself.

It's not going to be the same all around, as you know. You have to go by the individual. Once you feel Courtney is old and responsible enough to take care of the stuff (or when she starts doing it on her own, or tells you to back off or whatever), let her. I can't say there's an age that that works. Some kids do fine by the time they're 10, others need to be prodded into and through adulthood. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking about meds and appointments and stuff, though, that would be the cue to back off a bit. Other than that, go with the flow. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Even if she's not doing them properly, it may be hard, but you may need to let her run that course. I did that around the time I was 16, 17. I decided I didn't want to do all my crap, and my mom knew she couldn't force me, so she didn't try. She also knew I was smoking pot, but again other than a quick "I don't care about the pot, I just wish you wouldn't smoke it," she kept out of it because she knew it'd spur me on if she told me not to. Eventually, I got my head out of my ass, and I started back being responsible. It didn't take too long, maybe only a year or two... and mind you, even for a rebellious little butthead, I still did all my nebs. Just no therapy and I was iffy on my enzymes.

I think I'm done now. Haha.

Emily65Roses · Jun 19, 2007

All the stuff was my responsibility from fairly early on. After I became able to do it myself, I did. After my mom knew that I understood the seriousness of it all, she left it up to me whether or not to do it. My mom kept coming to my appointments with me longer than that, though. Until I was 19 or 20. I didn't mind, so when she wanted to come, I let her. Mike sort of replaced her in that aspect. Now he always comes, and my mom comes maybe once a year (she likes my doc too, likes to pop her head in say hi, see how things are, etc). But as she knows I'm not a moron, after she pops her head in, she goes back to letting me take care of it myself.

It's not going to be the same all around, as you know. You have to go by the individual. Once you feel Courtney is old and responsible enough to take care of the stuff (or when she starts doing it on her own, or tells you to back off or whatever), let her. I can't say there's an age that that works. Some kids do fine by the time they're 10, others need to be prodded into and through adulthood. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking about meds and appointments and stuff, though, that would be the cue to back off a bit. Other than that, go with the flow. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Even if she's not doing them properly, it may be hard, but you may need to let her run that course. I did that around the time I was 16, 17. I decided I didn't want to do all my crap, and my mom knew she couldn't force me, so she didn't try. She also knew I was smoking pot, but again other than a quick "I don't care about the pot, I just wish you wouldn't smoke it," she kept out of it because she knew it'd spur me on if she told me not to. Eventually, I got my head out of my ass, and I started back being responsible. It didn't take too long, maybe only a year or two... and mind you, even for a rebellious little butthead, I still did all my nebs. Just no therapy and I was iffy on my enzymes.

I think I'm done now. Haha.

Emily65Roses · Jun 19, 2007

All the stuff was my responsibility from fairly early on. After I became able to do it myself, I did. After my mom knew that I understood the seriousness of it all, she left it up to me whether or not to do it. My mom kept coming to my appointments with me longer than that, though. Until I was 19 or 20. I didn't mind, so when she wanted to come, I let her. Mike sort of replaced her in that aspect. Now he always comes, and my mom comes maybe once a year (she likes my doc too, likes to pop her head in say hi, see how things are, etc). But as she knows I'm not a moron, after she pops her head in, she goes back to letting me take care of it myself.

It's not going to be the same all around, as you know. You have to go by the individual. Once you feel Courtney is old and responsible enough to take care of the stuff (or when she starts doing it on her own, or tells you to back off or whatever), let her. I can't say there's an age that that works. Some kids do fine by the time they're 10, others need to be prodded into and through adulthood. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking about meds and appointments and stuff, though, that would be the cue to back off a bit. Other than that, go with the flow. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Even if she's not doing them properly, it may be hard, but you may need to let her run that course. I did that around the time I was 16, 17. I decided I didn't want to do all my crap, and my mom knew she couldn't force me, so she didn't try. She also knew I was smoking pot, but again other than a quick "I don't care about the pot, I just wish you wouldn't smoke it," she kept out of it because she knew it'd spur me on if she told me not to. Eventually, I got my head out of my ass, and I started back being responsible. It didn't take too long, maybe only a year or two... and mind you, even for a rebellious little butthead, I still did all my nebs. Just no therapy and I was iffy on my enzymes.

I think I'm done now. Haha.

Emily65Roses · Jun 19, 2007

All the stuff was my responsibility from fairly early on. After I became able to do it myself, I did. After my mom knew that I understood the seriousness of it all, she left it up to me whether or not to do it. My mom kept coming to my appointments with me longer than that, though. Until I was 19 or 20. I didn't mind, so when she wanted to come, I let her. Mike sort of replaced her in that aspect. Now he always comes, and my mom comes maybe once a year (she likes my doc too, likes to pop her head in say hi, see how things are, etc). But as she knows I'm not a moron, after she pops her head in, she goes back to letting me take care of it myself.

It's not going to be the same all around, as you know. You have to go by the individual. Once you feel Courtney is old and responsible enough to take care of the stuff (or when she starts doing it on her own, or tells you to back off or whatever), let her. I can't say there's an age that that works. Some kids do fine by the time they're 10, others need to be prodded into and through adulthood. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking about meds and appointments and stuff, though, that would be the cue to back off a bit. Other than that, go with the flow. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Even if she's not doing them properly, it may be hard, but you may need to let her run that course. I did that around the time I was 16, 17. I decided I didn't want to do all my crap, and my mom knew she couldn't force me, so she didn't try. She also knew I was smoking pot, but again other than a quick "I don't care about the pot, I just wish you wouldn't smoke it," she kept out of it because she knew it'd spur me on if she told me not to. Eventually, I got my head out of my ass, and I started back being responsible. It didn't take too long, maybe only a year or two... and mind you, even for a rebellious little butthead, I still did all my nebs. Just no therapy and I was iffy on my enzymes.

I think I'm done now. Haha.

Emily65Roses · Jun 19, 2007

All the stuff was my responsibility from fairly early on. After I became able to do it myself, I did. After my mom knew that I understood the seriousness of it all, she left it up to me whether or not to do it. My mom kept coming to my appointments with me longer than that, though. Until I was 19 or 20. I didn't mind, so when she wanted to come, I let her. Mike sort of replaced her in that aspect. Now he always comes, and my mom comes maybe once a year (she likes my doc too, likes to pop her head in say hi, see how things are, etc). But as she knows I'm not a moron, after she pops her head in, she goes back to letting me take care of it myself.

It's not going to be the same all around, as you know. You have to go by the individual. Once you feel Courtney is old and responsible enough to take care of the stuff (or when she starts doing it on her own, or tells you to back off or whatever), let her. I can't say there's an age that that works. Some kids do fine by the time they're 10, others need to be prodded into and through adulthood. If she starts to get annoyed by you asking about meds and appointments and stuff, though, that would be the cue to back off a bit. Other than that, go with the flow. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

Even if she's not doing them properly, it may be hard, but you may need to let her run that course. I did that around the time I was 16, 17. I decided I didn't want to do all my crap, and my mom knew she couldn't force me, so she didn't try. She also knew I was smoking pot, but again other than a quick "I don't care about the pot, I just wish you wouldn't smoke it," she kept out of it because she knew it'd spur me on if she told me not to. Eventually, I got my head out of my ass, and I started back being responsible. It didn't take too long, maybe only a year or two... and mind you, even for a rebellious little butthead, I still did all my nebs. Just no therapy and I was iffy on my enzymes.

I think I'm done now. Haha.

lightNlife · Jun 19, 2007

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

By the time I was 10, I was in charge of bringing my enzymes and vitamins with me to the table at mealtimes. It's hard for me to remember my mom or dad ever setting up my meds or anything and then handing them to me. Most often I was just told to "go do your breather." It was like being told "Go clean your room."


2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you? 

When I was old enough to drive, Mom went with me to the doc less and less. Most of the time I invited her along, so I'd have someone to talk to while I waited! Also, doctor appointments were sort of a mom/daughter bonding thing. After the appointment (usually late in the afternoon) we'd stop for dinner somewhere.

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility? 

Like I said before, it was my responsibility from as young as 10. As far as calories go, I've always been a foody, so I took charge of preparing healthy snacks and big school lunches around 5th grade. Basically I learned to cook so that mom would be able to get out of the kitchen now and then! Making appointments was, for the most part, pretty easy to do. The clinic would say when they wanted to see me next (1 mo, 3 mo, 6 mo, etc.) so I'd just make the next appt on my way out the clinic door. In college I started having more problems with my health, so it was up to me to call the doc. Usually after I made an appointment, I'd call mom and dad to fill them in on what was going on,

I'm extremely compliant now, but I was a total butt-head about my meds for awhile in high school--especially the enzymes and vitamins. I'd stash them in the houseplants or throw them away at school. My parents knew this. They weren't dumb. (But as a teen I thought they were!) Most teens rebel in some way. I was too much of a goody two-shoes to be promiscuous or have a smart mouth to my folks, so I rebelled quietly. By the time I graduated from high school, I had my act together and stopped the bad behavior. There was no cathartic moment that made this happen. I just grew up.

If some of you are parents who are having a tough time getting teens to take responsibility is this: choose your battles, and remember that no matter how "adult" your kid thinks s/he is, your job and responsibility is to be a PARENT--not a friend, not a buddy, not a confidant--a PARENT.

My mom and dad let me learn from my own mistakes, but stepped in at the exact moment when my stupidity would have gotten me in more trouble than I could handle. I was given the go-ahead to walk a tightrope of my own life, but when I was under their care (up to age 18) their way of instructing me and helping me learn my limitations served as a great safety net. Had they not been such awesome, attentive parents, I wouldn't be the responsible, well-adjust adult I am today. And I don't just mean in terms of CF.

lightNlife · Jun 19, 2007

1. At what age did your parents hand over all treatments to you. When did they make your meds and treatments your full responsibility?

By the time I was 10, I was in charge of bringing my enzymes and vitamins with me to the table at mealtimes. It's hard for me to remember my mom or dad ever setting up my meds or anything and then handing them to me. Most often I was just told to "go do your breather." It was like being told "Go clean your room."


2. At what age did they stop going into the doctors office with you? 

When I was old enough to drive, Mom went with me to the doc less and less. Most of the time I invited her along, so I'd have someone to talk to while I waited! Also, doctor appointments were sort of a mom/daughter bonding thing. After the appointment (usually late in the afternoon) we'd stop for dinner somewhere.

3. When do you feel your parents made all aspects of CF (meds, calorie intake, setting up doc appointments, etc) your full responsibility? 

Like I said before, it was my responsibility from as young as 10. As far as calories go, I've always been a foody, so I took charge of preparing healthy snacks and big school lunches around 5th grade. Basically I learned to cook so that mom would be able to get out of the kitchen now and then! Making appointments was, for the most part, pretty easy to do. The clinic would say when they wanted to see me next (1 mo, 3 mo, 6 mo, etc.) so I'd just make the next appt on my way out the clinic door. In college I started having more problems with my health, so it was up to me to call the doc. Usually after I made an appointment, I'd call mom and dad to fill them in on what was going on,

I'm extremely compliant now, but I was a total butt-head about my meds for awhile in high school--especially the enzymes and vitamins. I'd stash them in the houseplants or throw them away at school. My parents knew this. They weren't dumb. (But as a teen I thought they were!) Most teens rebel in some way. I was too much of a goody two-shoes to be promiscuous or have a smart mouth to my folks, so I rebelled quietly. By the time I graduated from high school, I had my act together and stopped the bad behavior. There was no cathartic moment that made this happen. I just grew up.

If some of you are parents who are having a tough time getting teens to take responsibility is this: choose your battles, and remember that no matter how "adult" your kid thinks s/he is, your job and responsibility is to be a PARENT--not a friend, not a buddy, not a confidant--a PARENT.

My mom and dad let me learn from my own mistakes, but stepped in at the exact moment when my stupidity would have gotten me in more trouble than I could handle. I was given the go-ahead to walk a tightrope of my own life, but when I was under their care (up to age 18) their way of instructing me and helping me learn my limitations served as a great safety net. Had they not been such awesome, attentive parents, I wouldn't be the responsible, well-adjust adult I am today. And I don't just mean in terms of CF.

TO THE CFERS

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