wedding ?

I

Isabella

Guest
this is only vaguely related to cf, but i'd just kind of like some peoples opinions whom aren't my family or close friends.

i'm getting married sometime in the next year (timing depends on a lot of things), but I've never been interested in having a wedding.

the problem is that i know my family and friends will want to see me get married. and thats where the cf comes in...especially for like my parents, but other relatives as well (i have a large irish catholic family). and since i'm marrying a guy in the military and we are planning to request overseas bases, it would very much be like a goodbye party for me.

my problem with weddings is 1) the traditions have never interested me. i'm not religious so a church is not needed, 2) big white poofy dresses are not my thing, 3) diamonds make me cringe because i think of the african blood diamonds (which i know most of them arent any more), and also....it's...like...carbon made shiney? idk...i dont want one. and 4) why spend money on a wedding when it's not even what you want! money is tighter than usual but even if it wasnt, why spend the money.

my boyfriend says it's up to me. he's already been married and had a wedding. but he is the one who noticed how much my family would want to actually see me get married.

i guess. i'm stuck on the money thing. i see why i should have one, and i will feel bad if i dont. also i know i can make it small, and as cheap as possible, and it doesnt have to be a church or a poofy dress. also, i know it will be a fun party ... because, all my families parties are fun.

but i think i just made a case against myself. why am i so resistant to this?
i'm really excited about the marriage. i've always wanted to be married, and i think that this will be perfect in it's imperfection. and i totally happy with my boyfriend. i would go to the courthouse tomorrow and marry him. it's just that damn wedding....

any input would be appreciated!!
thanks!
 
I

Isabella

Guest
this is only vaguely related to cf, but i'd just kind of like some peoples opinions whom aren't my family or close friends.

i'm getting married sometime in the next year (timing depends on a lot of things), but I've never been interested in having a wedding.

the problem is that i know my family and friends will want to see me get married. and thats where the cf comes in...especially for like my parents, but other relatives as well (i have a large irish catholic family). and since i'm marrying a guy in the military and we are planning to request overseas bases, it would very much be like a goodbye party for me.

my problem with weddings is 1) the traditions have never interested me. i'm not religious so a church is not needed, 2) big white poofy dresses are not my thing, 3) diamonds make me cringe because i think of the african blood diamonds (which i know most of them arent any more), and also....it's...like...carbon made shiney? idk...i dont want one. and 4) why spend money on a wedding when it's not even what you want! money is tighter than usual but even if it wasnt, why spend the money.

my boyfriend says it's up to me. he's already been married and had a wedding. but he is the one who noticed how much my family would want to actually see me get married.

i guess. i'm stuck on the money thing. i see why i should have one, and i will feel bad if i dont. also i know i can make it small, and as cheap as possible, and it doesnt have to be a church or a poofy dress. also, i know it will be a fun party ... because, all my families parties are fun.

but i think i just made a case against myself. why am i so resistant to this?
i'm really excited about the marriage. i've always wanted to be married, and i think that this will be perfect in it's imperfection. and i totally happy with my boyfriend. i would go to the courthouse tomorrow and marry him. it's just that damn wedding....

any input would be appreciated!!
thanks!
 
I

Isabella

Guest
this is only vaguely related to cf, but i'd just kind of like some peoples opinions whom aren't my family or close friends.

i'm getting married sometime in the next year (timing depends on a lot of things), but I've never been interested in having a wedding.

the problem is that i know my family and friends will want to see me get married. and thats where the cf comes in...especially for like my parents, but other relatives as well (i have a large irish catholic family). and since i'm marrying a guy in the military and we are planning to request overseas bases, it would very much be like a goodbye party for me.

my problem with weddings is 1) the traditions have never interested me. i'm not religious so a church is not needed, 2) big white poofy dresses are not my thing, 3) diamonds make me cringe because i think of the african blood diamonds (which i know most of them arent any more), and also....it's...like...carbon made shiney? idk...i dont want one. and 4) why spend money on a wedding when it's not even what you want! money is tighter than usual but even if it wasnt, why spend the money.

my boyfriend says it's up to me. he's already been married and had a wedding. but he is the one who noticed how much my family would want to actually see me get married.

i guess. i'm stuck on the money thing. i see why i should have one, and i will feel bad if i dont. also i know i can make it small, and as cheap as possible, and it doesnt have to be a church or a poofy dress. also, i know it will be a fun party ... because, all my families parties are fun.

but i think i just made a case against myself. why am i so resistant to this?
i'm really excited about the marriage. i've always wanted to be married, and i think that this will be perfect in it's imperfection. and i totally happy with my boyfriend. i would go to the courthouse tomorrow and marry him. it's just that damn wedding....

any input would be appreciated!!
thanks!
 
I

Isabella

Guest
this is only vaguely related to cf, but i'd just kind of like some peoples opinions whom aren't my family or close friends.

i'm getting married sometime in the next year (timing depends on a lot of things), but I've never been interested in having a wedding.

the problem is that i know my family and friends will want to see me get married. and thats where the cf comes in...especially for like my parents, but other relatives as well (i have a large irish catholic family). and since i'm marrying a guy in the military and we are planning to request overseas bases, it would very much be like a goodbye party for me.

my problem with weddings is 1) the traditions have never interested me. i'm not religious so a church is not needed, 2) big white poofy dresses are not my thing, 3) diamonds make me cringe because i think of the african blood diamonds (which i know most of them arent any more), and also....it's...like...carbon made shiney? idk...i dont want one. and 4) why spend money on a wedding when it's not even what you want! money is tighter than usual but even if it wasnt, why spend the money.

my boyfriend says it's up to me. he's already been married and had a wedding. but he is the one who noticed how much my family would want to actually see me get married.

i guess. i'm stuck on the money thing. i see why i should have one, and i will feel bad if i dont. also i know i can make it small, and as cheap as possible, and it doesnt have to be a church or a poofy dress. also, i know it will be a fun party ... because, all my families parties are fun.

but i think i just made a case against myself. why am i so resistant to this?
i'm really excited about the marriage. i've always wanted to be married, and i think that this will be perfect in it's imperfection. and i totally happy with my boyfriend. i would go to the courthouse tomorrow and marry him. it's just that damn wedding....

any input would be appreciated!!
thanks!
 
I

Isabella

Guest
this is only vaguely related to cf, but i'd just kind of like some peoples opinions whom aren't my family or close friends.
<br />
<br />i'm getting married sometime in the next year (timing depends on a lot of things), but I've never been interested in having a wedding.
<br />
<br />the problem is that i know my family and friends will want to see me get married. and thats where the cf comes in...especially for like my parents, but other relatives as well (i have a large irish catholic family). and since i'm marrying a guy in the military and we are planning to request overseas bases, it would very much be like a goodbye party for me.
<br />
<br />my problem with weddings is 1) the traditions have never interested me. i'm not religious so a church is not needed, 2) big white poofy dresses are not my thing, 3) diamonds make me cringe because i think of the african blood diamonds (which i know most of them arent any more), and also....it's...like...carbon made shiney? idk...i dont want one. and 4) why spend money on a wedding when it's not even what you want! money is tighter than usual but even if it wasnt, why spend the money.
<br />
<br />my boyfriend says it's up to me. he's already been married and had a wedding. but he is the one who noticed how much my family would want to actually see me get married.
<br />
<br />i guess. i'm stuck on the money thing. i see why i should have one, and i will feel bad if i dont. also i know i can make it small, and as cheap as possible, and it doesnt have to be a church or a poofy dress. also, i know it will be a fun party ... because, all my families parties are fun.
<br />
<br />but i think i just made a case against myself. why am i so resistant to this?
<br />i'm really excited about the marriage. i've always wanted to be married, and i think that this will be perfect in it's imperfection. and i totally happy with my boyfriend. i would go to the courthouse tomorrow and marry him. it's just that damn wedding....
<br />
<br />any input would be appreciated!!
<br />thanks!
<br />
 
J

just1more

New member
No cf, but I had no real desire to have a wedding.

In fact my wife (fiancee) tried to get me to elope about 3 months before the wedding, but I didn't for fear of how pissed my mom would be as she wanted a wedding.

While it was nice, simply put it was not worth it just to make someone else happy.

If you don't want to have the ceremony, go to the courthouse, and just do what feels good to you two. The rest will get over it.

PS: as for diamonds, I commend you on your position as my oldest son is from Sierra Leone. My wife's engagement ring (long before him) sits in jewlery box and likely will never been worn again because of what diamonds represent in his life.
 
J

just1more

New member
No cf, but I had no real desire to have a wedding.

In fact my wife (fiancee) tried to get me to elope about 3 months before the wedding, but I didn't for fear of how pissed my mom would be as she wanted a wedding.

While it was nice, simply put it was not worth it just to make someone else happy.

If you don't want to have the ceremony, go to the courthouse, and just do what feels good to you two. The rest will get over it.

PS: as for diamonds, I commend you on your position as my oldest son is from Sierra Leone. My wife's engagement ring (long before him) sits in jewlery box and likely will never been worn again because of what diamonds represent in his life.
 
J

just1more

New member
No cf, but I had no real desire to have a wedding.

In fact my wife (fiancee) tried to get me to elope about 3 months before the wedding, but I didn't for fear of how pissed my mom would be as she wanted a wedding.

While it was nice, simply put it was not worth it just to make someone else happy.

If you don't want to have the ceremony, go to the courthouse, and just do what feels good to you two. The rest will get over it.

PS: as for diamonds, I commend you on your position as my oldest son is from Sierra Leone. My wife's engagement ring (long before him) sits in jewlery box and likely will never been worn again because of what diamonds represent in his life.
 
J

just1more

New member
No cf, but I had no real desire to have a wedding.

In fact my wife (fiancee) tried to get me to elope about 3 months before the wedding, but I didn't for fear of how pissed my mom would be as she wanted a wedding.

While it was nice, simply put it was not worth it just to make someone else happy.

If you don't want to have the ceremony, go to the courthouse, and just do what feels good to you two. The rest will get over it.

PS: as for diamonds, I commend you on your position as my oldest son is from Sierra Leone. My wife's engagement ring (long before him) sits in jewlery box and likely will never been worn again because of what diamonds represent in his life.
 
J

just1more

New member
No cf, but I had no real desire to have a wedding.
<br />
<br />In fact my wife (fiancee) tried to get me to elope about 3 months before the wedding, but I didn't for fear of how pissed my mom would be as she wanted a wedding.
<br />
<br />While it was nice, simply put it was not worth it just to make someone else happy.
<br />
<br />If you don't want to have the ceremony, go to the courthouse, and just do what feels good to you two. The rest will get over it.
<br />
<br />PS: as for diamonds, I commend you on your position as my oldest son is from Sierra Leone. My wife's engagement ring (long before him) sits in jewlery box and likely will never been worn again because of what diamonds represent in his life.
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
I eloped -- went to the courthouse and got married without telling anyone initially. He later joined the military, which had been his plan all along. We stayed together about 2 decades. My sister got over being mad at me for not having a wedding. I have a large-ish mostly German- and Irish- American family. No one else ever really said a thing to me.

I think we spent about $200 (or less) on our wedding: $60 total for two plain wedding bands on sale; $20 for a license; dinner, movie and cab fare and blood tests.

I'm not a fan of big weddings either. If I had the money for a big wedding, I would probably use it as a down payment for a house. Dad grew up in The Great Depression. Mom grew up in Germany during WWII and it's aftermath. I just gag at spending big bucks on a wedding without being a multi-millionaire first. (Money is not the only reason I'm not a fan of them, but that is a big sticking point for me.)

Good luck with your decision.
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
I eloped -- went to the courthouse and got married without telling anyone initially. He later joined the military, which had been his plan all along. We stayed together about 2 decades. My sister got over being mad at me for not having a wedding. I have a large-ish mostly German- and Irish- American family. No one else ever really said a thing to me.

I think we spent about $200 (or less) on our wedding: $60 total for two plain wedding bands on sale; $20 for a license; dinner, movie and cab fare and blood tests.

I'm not a fan of big weddings either. If I had the money for a big wedding, I would probably use it as a down payment for a house. Dad grew up in The Great Depression. Mom grew up in Germany during WWII and it's aftermath. I just gag at spending big bucks on a wedding without being a multi-millionaire first. (Money is not the only reason I'm not a fan of them, but that is a big sticking point for me.)

Good luck with your decision.
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
I eloped -- went to the courthouse and got married without telling anyone initially. He later joined the military, which had been his plan all along. We stayed together about 2 decades. My sister got over being mad at me for not having a wedding. I have a large-ish mostly German- and Irish- American family. No one else ever really said a thing to me.

I think we spent about $200 (or less) on our wedding: $60 total for two plain wedding bands on sale; $20 for a license; dinner, movie and cab fare and blood tests.

I'm not a fan of big weddings either. If I had the money for a big wedding, I would probably use it as a down payment for a house. Dad grew up in The Great Depression. Mom grew up in Germany during WWII and it's aftermath. I just gag at spending big bucks on a wedding without being a multi-millionaire first. (Money is not the only reason I'm not a fan of them, but that is a big sticking point for me.)

Good luck with your decision.
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
I eloped -- went to the courthouse and got married without telling anyone initially. He later joined the military, which had been his plan all along. We stayed together about 2 decades. My sister got over being mad at me for not having a wedding. I have a large-ish mostly German- and Irish- American family. No one else ever really said a thing to me.

I think we spent about $200 (or less) on our wedding: $60 total for two plain wedding bands on sale; $20 for a license; dinner, movie and cab fare and blood tests.

I'm not a fan of big weddings either. If I had the money for a big wedding, I would probably use it as a down payment for a house. Dad grew up in The Great Depression. Mom grew up in Germany during WWII and it's aftermath. I just gag at spending big bucks on a wedding without being a multi-millionaire first. (Money is not the only reason I'm not a fan of them, but that is a big sticking point for me.)

Good luck with your decision.
 
M

MicheleGazelle

New member
I eloped -- went to the courthouse and got married without telling anyone initially. He later joined the military, which had been his plan all along. We stayed together about 2 decades. My sister got over being mad at me for not having a wedding. I have a large-ish mostly German- and Irish- American family. No one else ever really said a thing to me.
<br />
<br />I think we spent about $200 (or less) on our wedding: $60 total for two plain wedding bands on sale; $20 for a license; dinner, movie and cab fare and blood tests.
<br />
<br />I'm not a fan of big weddings either. If I had the money for a big wedding, I would probably use it as a down payment for a house. Dad grew up in The Great Depression. Mom grew up in Germany during WWII and it's aftermath. I just gag at spending big bucks on a wedding without being a multi-millionaire first. (Money is not the only reason I'm not a fan of them, but that is a big sticking point for me.)
<br />
<br />Good luck with your decision.
 
D

Diane

New member
You could always go to the court house, get married, and then have a big party where family and friends are invited to celebrate your big day. That way there is no big poofy dress, no planning a wedding, but everyone still gets to celebrate with you.
Thats the best i can come up with.
 
D

Diane

New member
You could always go to the court house, get married, and then have a big party where family and friends are invited to celebrate your big day. That way there is no big poofy dress, no planning a wedding, but everyone still gets to celebrate with you.
Thats the best i can come up with.
 
D

Diane

New member
You could always go to the court house, get married, and then have a big party where family and friends are invited to celebrate your big day. That way there is no big poofy dress, no planning a wedding, but everyone still gets to celebrate with you.
Thats the best i can come up with.
 
D

Diane

New member
You could always go to the court house, get married, and then have a big party where family and friends are invited to celebrate your big day. That way there is no big poofy dress, no planning a wedding, but everyone still gets to celebrate with you.
Thats the best i can come up with.
 
D

Diane

New member
You could always go to the court house, get married, and then have a big party where family and friends are invited to celebrate your big day. That way there is no big poofy dress, no planning a wedding, but everyone still gets to celebrate with you.
<br />Thats the best i can come up with.
 
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