I know that all of us here understand just how hard it is some days to accomplish what we do- with the body we were given to do it. There are days I do not want to get out of bed- let alone, get up at 6 am, get my 6 year old and 3 year old fed/dressed, drive my 6 y/o to school, come home and take care of breathing treatments, working out, housework, laundry, running my own photography business, dr. visits, more treatments, picking my son up from school, trying to get quality time with each child, planning and preparing meals, more cleaning, packing lunches, getting kids bathed and into bed, more treatments, wife duties <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> etc. I am exhausted most days, and I do most of it with my 3 year old home (and we are potty training!) My mother-in-law is evil. There is no better word for her. She is manipulative, everyone in "her" family fears her, controlling, opinionated, and a back stabber. I tried for years (been married 7) stressing over how I can earn her approval- out of fear! She did not want her son to marry some sick girl who was going to be a financial burden on him- and then die leaving him in debt. Her words. She wore black in protest to my wedding. She complains and gossips about me to other family members (and it is a small family...her sister and mother), my husband is practically an only child since the other one moved far away and has limited contact. I am lazy because I do not work outside of the home. My house is never clean enough. My kids are being deprived of a normal life. I have heard it all. I finally came to the point of NOT allowing her words or actions to affect me. I don't care about her opinion or what she thinks of me, because I know I am a wonderful mother, wife, and person. I don't take her crap. In my mind I treat her like she is nuts and just expect her to dissaprove of me. I have lowered my expectations and you know what? My stress level is much more manageable. When she comes at you with hurtful words, I have prepared answers to say back (and she has backed off because she already knows my response! Like: 1. That sounds like a dig. Was that your intent? 2. I am sorry you are feeling that way (and then go about your business, it is HER problem, NOT yours). 3. It sounds like you are having a rough day. 4. I will get right on that when I can breathe! 5. Or you can just turn away and ignore her everytime she criticizes you, act like you didn't hear her. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
My husband has this fear of his mom- although he will deny it- he is a mama's boy. I have to stand up for myself. I have found that the best response is to just ignore her and go about my happy way. As long as you are under her roof, she is going to make her comments and feel justified doing so. BUT, you are an adult, deserve respect, and DO NOT owe her an explanation for anything. Take care of yourself and just keep being you! Good luck. I hope you can move past her negativity. Those people aren't worth an ounce of our already precious energy!