Will I always feel resentment??

kate620 · Mar 26, 2010

Gosh, guess I'm the oddball here. I have not experienced the jealosy emotion but I can totally understand why someone would. I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't had those emotions. Maybe because I only really wanted to have a little girl ever since I was a little girl and I got her and she's "perfect".

Katie & Tami, I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Jenny, that is what I tell myself all the time! Sometimes I just wish He didn't trust me that much <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

kate620 · Mar 26, 2010

Gosh, guess I'm the oddball here. I have not experienced the jealosy emotion but I can totally understand why someone would. I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't had those emotions. Maybe because I only really wanted to have a little girl ever since I was a little girl and I got her and she's "perfect".

Katie & Tami, I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Jenny, that is what I tell myself all the time! Sometimes I just wish He didn't trust me that much <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

kate620 · Mar 26, 2010

Gosh, guess I'm the oddball here. I have not experienced the jealosy emotion but I can totally understand why someone would. I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't had those emotions. Maybe because I only really wanted to have a little girl ever since I was a little girl and I got her and she's "perfect".

Katie & Tami, I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Jenny, that is what I tell myself all the time! Sometimes I just wish He didn't trust me that much <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

kate620 · Mar 26, 2010

Gosh, guess I'm the oddball here. I have not experienced the jealosy emotion but I can totally understand why someone would. I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't had those emotions. Maybe because I only really wanted to have a little girl ever since I was a little girl and I got her and she's "perfect".

Katie & Tami, I am sooo sorry for your loss.

Jenny, that is what I tell myself all the time! Sometimes I just wish He didn't trust me that much <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

kate620 · Mar 26, 2010

Gosh, guess I'm the oddball here. I have not experienced the jealosy emotion but I can totally understand why someone would. I'm sitting here wondering why I haven't had those emotions. Maybe because I only really wanted to have a little girl ever since I was a little girl and I got her and she's "perfect".
 
 Katie & Tami, I am sooo sorry for your loss.
 
 Jenny, that is what I tell myself all the time! Sometimes I just wish He didn't trust me that much <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">

redheadedmommy · Mar 28, 2010

I have to say I can relate.. i too have felt that twenge deep in side. I've always had my heart set on 4 or 5,but since maddy was diagnoised i'm scared, confused, and angry .. scared of losing her, we had been talking about having kids , we both knew she had a chance of getting it , since i have it , but i always figured shed just be a carrier, they sent her to my cf clinic for the sweat test , connie the head nurse and the pediatric doc came in and said she scored a 111 so she def, had it , i set there in a daze not knowing what to think , i didn't lose it till she said i know it hurts hun, i started to cry uncontrolably , thats when i became angry how did she know? she was just a nurse at the clinic this was MY BABY , that has this horrible diease she didnt know what i was feeling... but ive come to terms with it , were going to over come this diease, shes tough <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> even though i do feel jealous for my cousin and sister, im happy for them , i do think that i will eventually have another baby some time ....

sorry this came out more as a vent

redheadedmommy · Mar 28, 2010

I have to say I can relate.. i too have felt that twenge deep in side. I've always had my heart set on 4 or 5,but since maddy was diagnoised i'm scared, confused, and angry .. scared of losing her, we had been talking about having kids , we both knew she had a chance of getting it , since i have it , but i always figured shed just be a carrier, they sent her to my cf clinic for the sweat test , connie the head nurse and the pediatric doc came in and said she scored a 111 so she def, had it , i set there in a daze not knowing what to think , i didn't lose it till she said i know it hurts hun, i started to cry uncontrolably , thats when i became angry how did she know? she was just a nurse at the clinic this was MY BABY , that has this horrible diease she didnt know what i was feeling... but ive come to terms with it , were going to over come this diease, shes tough <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> even though i do feel jealous for my cousin and sister, im happy for them , i do think that i will eventually have another baby some time ....

sorry this came out more as a vent

redheadedmommy · Mar 28, 2010

I have to say I can relate.. i too have felt that twenge deep in side. I've always had my heart set on 4 or 5,but since maddy was diagnoised i'm scared, confused, and angry .. scared of losing her, we had been talking about having kids , we both knew she had a chance of getting it , since i have it , but i always figured shed just be a carrier, they sent her to my cf clinic for the sweat test , connie the head nurse and the pediatric doc came in and said she scored a 111 so she def, had it , i set there in a daze not knowing what to think , i didn't lose it till she said i know it hurts hun, i started to cry uncontrolably , thats when i became angry how did she know? she was just a nurse at the clinic this was MY BABY , that has this horrible diease she didnt know what i was feeling... but ive come to terms with it , were going to over come this diease, shes tough <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> even though i do feel jealous for my cousin and sister, im happy for them , i do think that i will eventually have another baby some time ....

sorry this came out more as a vent

redheadedmommy · Mar 28, 2010

I have to say I can relate.. i too have felt that twenge deep in side. I've always had my heart set on 4 or 5,but since maddy was diagnoised i'm scared, confused, and angry .. scared of losing her, we had been talking about having kids , we both knew she had a chance of getting it , since i have it , but i always figured shed just be a carrier, they sent her to my cf clinic for the sweat test , connie the head nurse and the pediatric doc came in and said she scored a 111 so she def, had it , i set there in a daze not knowing what to think , i didn't lose it till she said i know it hurts hun, i started to cry uncontrolably , thats when i became angry how did she know? she was just a nurse at the clinic this was MY BABY , that has this horrible diease she didnt know what i was feeling... but ive come to terms with it , were going to over come this diease, shes tough <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> even though i do feel jealous for my cousin and sister, im happy for them , i do think that i will eventually have another baby some time ....

sorry this came out more as a vent

redheadedmommy · Mar 28, 2010

I have to say I can relate.. i too have felt that twenge deep in side. I've always had my heart set on 4 or 5,but since maddy was diagnoised i'm scared, confused, and angry .. scared of losing her, we had been talking about having kids , we both knew she had a chance of getting it , since i have it , but i always figured shed just be a carrier, they sent her to my cf clinic for the sweat test , connie the head nurse and the pediatric doc came in and said she scored a 111 so she def, had it , i set there in a daze not knowing what to think , i didn't lose it till she said i know it hurts hun, i started to cry uncontrolably , thats when i became angry how did she know? she was just a nurse at the clinic this was MY BABY , that has this horrible diease she didnt know what i was feeling... but ive come to terms with it , were going to over come this diease, shes tough <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> even though i do feel jealous for my cousin and sister, im happy for them , i do think that i will eventually have another baby some time ....
 
 
 sorry this came out more as a vent

krisgabes · Mar 28, 2010

I'm not a mother, so I don't know what it is like to experience what all of you experience. However, I definately can understand to a degree. I have CF and I feel resentment and jealousy, anger and sadness, etc. towards my own friends that they do not have to deal with half of the things that I've had to deal with in my life. And I absolutely know, that in the future, if I do have a child, I will no doubt go through the same feelings you are. I think that the resentment will always be there, but when you begin to see what types of wonderful, mature, and insightful children you will have because of the urge to grow up a bit quicker than others, the resentment may melt away a bit. Because when those other mothers are talking about how immature their kids are, you will know you are certainly not in that boat with your own. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I am confident with saying that because my mother has told me that many times. If anyone ever would like to talk, I know she would be more than happy to speak through PM.

krisgabes · Mar 28, 2010

I'm not a mother, so I don't know what it is like to experience what all of you experience. However, I definately can understand to a degree. I have CF and I feel resentment and jealousy, anger and sadness, etc. towards my own friends that they do not have to deal with half of the things that I've had to deal with in my life. And I absolutely know, that in the future, if I do have a child, I will no doubt go through the same feelings you are. I think that the resentment will always be there, but when you begin to see what types of wonderful, mature, and insightful children you will have because of the urge to grow up a bit quicker than others, the resentment may melt away a bit. Because when those other mothers are talking about how immature their kids are, you will know you are certainly not in that boat with your own. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I am confident with saying that because my mother has told me that many times. If anyone ever would like to talk, I know she would be more than happy to speak through PM.

krisgabes · Mar 28, 2010

I'm not a mother, so I don't know what it is like to experience what all of you experience. However, I definately can understand to a degree. I have CF and I feel resentment and jealousy, anger and sadness, etc. towards my own friends that they do not have to deal with half of the things that I've had to deal with in my life. And I absolutely know, that in the future, if I do have a child, I will no doubt go through the same feelings you are. I think that the resentment will always be there, but when you begin to see what types of wonderful, mature, and insightful children you will have because of the urge to grow up a bit quicker than others, the resentment may melt away a bit. Because when those other mothers are talking about how immature their kids are, you will know you are certainly not in that boat with your own. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I am confident with saying that because my mother has told me that many times. If anyone ever would like to talk, I know she would be more than happy to speak through PM.

krisgabes · Mar 28, 2010

I'm not a mother, so I don't know what it is like to experience what all of you experience. However, I definately can understand to a degree. I have CF and I feel resentment and jealousy, anger and sadness, etc. towards my own friends that they do not have to deal with half of the things that I've had to deal with in my life. And I absolutely know, that in the future, if I do have a child, I will no doubt go through the same feelings you are. I think that the resentment will always be there, but when you begin to see what types of wonderful, mature, and insightful children you will have because of the urge to grow up a bit quicker than others, the resentment may melt away a bit. Because when those other mothers are talking about how immature their kids are, you will know you are certainly not in that boat with your own. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I am confident with saying that because my mother has told me that many times. If anyone ever would like to talk, I know she would be more than happy to speak through PM.

krisgabes · Mar 28, 2010

I'm not a mother, so I don't know what it is like to experience what all of you experience. However, I definately can understand to a degree. I have CF and I feel resentment and jealousy, anger and sadness, etc. towards my own friends that they do not have to deal with half of the things that I've had to deal with in my life. And I absolutely know, that in the future, if I do have a child, I will no doubt go through the same feelings you are. I think that the resentment will always be there, but when you begin to see what types of wonderful, mature, and insightful children you will have because of the urge to grow up a bit quicker than others, the resentment may melt away a bit. Because when those other mothers are talking about how immature their kids are, you will know you are certainly not in that boat with your own. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> I am confident with saying that because my mother has told me that many times. If anyone ever would like to talk, I know she would be more than happy to speak through PM.

beansmom · Mar 28, 2010

Dana

I also struggle with the same issue. My daughter is almost 4 with CF. I also have a healthy 6 year old. I always wanted a big family. My kids are both adopted and we did not know when we got our daughter that she had CF. We have bad health insurance and her CF has made our budget tighter than tight, so we are unable to have anymore children. I have really struggles with resentment as well, because we are good parents and would be a great family for another child. I have explained to many people that my heart wants more, but my head says no. It is a very hard place to be, because I am absolutely torn. I would love more, but know that with the realities of CF and my daughter it is impossible. My daughter has always been on the sicker end of the spectrum with her CF. She has been hospitalized about every 3 months since she was born, she is off and on oxygen and has been on IV's most of the winter. Her doctors can not explain why she has done so poorly because we do everything possible to help her. That said, part of the reason I know we can not have another child is time. I feel like I barely spend enough time with my son as is, with all the hospital stays and all the regular treatments.

For me it is kind of funny. I struggled with jealousy and resentment for years when everyone around me was getting pregnant with no trouble and having babies. Now that I have one, I am still struggling because I want more. I guess it is part of being human....we are never quite satisfied with what God blesses us with.

beansmom · Mar 28, 2010

Dana

I also struggle with the same issue. My daughter is almost 4 with CF. I also have a healthy 6 year old. I always wanted a big family. My kids are both adopted and we did not know when we got our daughter that she had CF. We have bad health insurance and her CF has made our budget tighter than tight, so we are unable to have anymore children. I have really struggles with resentment as well, because we are good parents and would be a great family for another child. I have explained to many people that my heart wants more, but my head says no. It is a very hard place to be, because I am absolutely torn. I would love more, but know that with the realities of CF and my daughter it is impossible. My daughter has always been on the sicker end of the spectrum with her CF. She has been hospitalized about every 3 months since she was born, she is off and on oxygen and has been on IV's most of the winter. Her doctors can not explain why she has done so poorly because we do everything possible to help her. That said, part of the reason I know we can not have another child is time. I feel like I barely spend enough time with my son as is, with all the hospital stays and all the regular treatments.

For me it is kind of funny. I struggled with jealousy and resentment for years when everyone around me was getting pregnant with no trouble and having babies. Now that I have one, I am still struggling because I want more. I guess it is part of being human....we are never quite satisfied with what God blesses us with.

beansmom · Mar 28, 2010

Dana

I also struggle with the same issue. My daughter is almost 4 with CF. I also have a healthy 6 year old. I always wanted a big family. My kids are both adopted and we did not know when we got our daughter that she had CF. We have bad health insurance and her CF has made our budget tighter than tight, so we are unable to have anymore children. I have really struggles with resentment as well, because we are good parents and would be a great family for another child. I have explained to many people that my heart wants more, but my head says no. It is a very hard place to be, because I am absolutely torn. I would love more, but know that with the realities of CF and my daughter it is impossible. My daughter has always been on the sicker end of the spectrum with her CF. She has been hospitalized about every 3 months since she was born, she is off and on oxygen and has been on IV's most of the winter. Her doctors can not explain why she has done so poorly because we do everything possible to help her. That said, part of the reason I know we can not have another child is time. I feel like I barely spend enough time with my son as is, with all the hospital stays and all the regular treatments.

For me it is kind of funny. I struggled with jealousy and resentment for years when everyone around me was getting pregnant with no trouble and having babies. Now that I have one, I am still struggling because I want more. I guess it is part of being human....we are never quite satisfied with what God blesses us with.

beansmom · Mar 28, 2010

Dana

I also struggle with the same issue. My daughter is almost 4 with CF. I also have a healthy 6 year old. I always wanted a big family. My kids are both adopted and we did not know when we got our daughter that she had CF. We have bad health insurance and her CF has made our budget tighter than tight, so we are unable to have anymore children. I have really struggles with resentment as well, because we are good parents and would be a great family for another child. I have explained to many people that my heart wants more, but my head says no. It is a very hard place to be, because I am absolutely torn. I would love more, but know that with the realities of CF and my daughter it is impossible. My daughter has always been on the sicker end of the spectrum with her CF. She has been hospitalized about every 3 months since she was born, she is off and on oxygen and has been on IV's most of the winter. Her doctors can not explain why she has done so poorly because we do everything possible to help her. That said, part of the reason I know we can not have another child is time. I feel like I barely spend enough time with my son as is, with all the hospital stays and all the regular treatments.

For me it is kind of funny. I struggled with jealousy and resentment for years when everyone around me was getting pregnant with no trouble and having babies. Now that I have one, I am still struggling because I want more. I guess it is part of being human....we are never quite satisfied with what God blesses us with.

beansmom · Mar 28, 2010

Dana
 
 I also struggle with the same issue. My daughter is almost 4 with CF. I also have a healthy 6 year old. I always wanted a big family. My kids are both adopted and we did not know when we got our daughter that she had CF. We have bad health insurance and her CF has made our budget tighter than tight, so we are unable to have anymore children. I have really struggles with resentment as well, because we are good parents and would be a great family for another child. I have explained to many people that my heart wants more, but my head says no. It is a very hard place to be, because I am absolutely torn. I would love more, but know that with the realities of CF and my daughter it is impossible. My daughter has always been on the sicker end of the spectrum with her CF. She has been hospitalized about every 3 months since she was born, she is off and on oxygen and has been on IV's most of the winter. Her doctors can not explain why she has done so poorly because we do everything possible to help her. That said, part of the reason I know we can not have another child is time. I feel like I barely spend enough time with my son as is, with all the hospital stays and all the regular treatments.
 
 For me it is kind of funny. I struggled with jealousy and resentment for years when everyone around me was getting pregnant with no trouble and having babies. Now that I have one, I am still struggling because I want more. I guess it is part of being human....we are never quite satisfied with what God blesses us with.

Will I always feel resentment??

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