First of all, THERE WAS NO DEBATE. There seems to be the opinon around here that we aren't allowed to write what we want in our own blogs. If I try to write what happened, even if I try to be fair and present both sides, some one will still say its not fair because of personal feelings. This whole thing is about opinions and perceptions. I had no problems with Allies's blog, but after reading some of the comments to her blog, but it seemed to me (<i>and this is my opinion only) </i>that people were getting off on how immoral we Santa people were to LIE to our children, cause it was TEACHING them that LYING was ok. I PERCEIVED that they thought it was not only funny that our kids still believed in Santa, but that us Santa people were terrible parents because we had low ethics and by promoting the santa myth we were teaching our children that it was ok to lie. They were so proud of their kids for being so much more moral, (because they don't teach their children to lie), and they thought it was so cute that their kids thought it was their job to show other kids that their parents were lying to them. <i>I did not have a problem with their kids trying to convince other kids there was no santa--but with the parents' attitude.</i> ( I already had an anwer for my kids.) Oh, and I also thought it would be good that while they were teaching moral values, a little teaching about tact would be nice--that was translated into "you raise your child wrong, and she's a rude little brat". I never knew it was a mortal and moral sin to teach my chldren the same wonderful tradition I had grown up with. Hence my Santa blog.
Allie responded with her own blog that some of us (santa people) would be HAPPY to know that Ahava had a terrible day at art class because the other kids were making presents for their dad's, and she couldn't. Allie also felt that we thought Ahava was a "evil twit". So this is where the problem happened. Jennifer was upset that Allie got upset with what I said and that she (Allie) had turned what I had said into an attack on Ahava--which it wasn't. I do not remember all that Jennifer said, but it was offensive to Allie. I took it to mean that (mind you, I am paraphrasing what I can remember, so this is not actual words)--"Allie, you are too judgemental and can not take it of someone disagrees with you. I disagree with practically everything you say, but I still love you as an important person here on the site. Just because we disagree doesn't mean we hate each other or Ahava." Here's where a perception problem comes in again. Allie thought this was the equivalent of saying, in Emily's words-- "she should drown in a vat of piss". Jennifer's words pained Allie very much.
So Allie DECIDED to leave for a while. She DECIDED to erase all her beautiflul blogs so that we would feel bad. Well, she got me there, because I, for one ,am DEVESTATED that they are gone! She wasn't "chased"away, though she thinks she was. I tried to convince her that she should stay and talk it through, but her mind was made up that she had been insulted, we were all against her, and thought she was a terrible person, and had attacked Ahava. I can not change that perception. I can only say it was not true, and I'm so sorry some of
you "perceive" it that way . Melissa and I tried to say that Allie is very emotional now, but that is "perceived" as a cop-out. She is emotional, and she is in deep, dark mourning--still--no matter what you may say. If we don't have to walk on eggshells around her, why did she flip out over my blog?
Why is it that when someone threatens to leave the foreum, some people say sneeringly that this just a way of getting attention, and seeing how many people beg them to stay. I have seen people roasted for saying their feelings were hurt and they were leaving. I mean slash and burn! But when Allie decides to leave, it is because we "drove" her away? I truly don't understand the difference here.
I do not think my blog was that controversial., and I usually try not to say anything harmful or hurtful to other people. I did not tell you if you didn't agree with me to f***k off, just be more empathetic. There is a option to delete a comment to your blog if you don't like it--Emily had threatened to use it a time or two. I wish Allie would have done that.
I love her and will miss her, and I don't know how she views our friendship
now. I hope that she will come back sometime soon.
