Jennifer,
I cannot imagine how difficult it was for you to write those letters - especially the first time. I wish that everyone you had written to had sent you a note of concern and at leat a $50 donation. I don't know exactly what your expectation was (maybe not that high) but obviously higher than what you received.
I guess what I (and some others) are suggesting is that expecting that rate of return is unrealistic. It may be that some people don't donate because they are selfish, uncaring, or lazy or, as I suggested in an earlier post, because they have a different way of donating to charity. Regardless as I read up here at <a target=_blank class=ftalternatingbarlinklarge href="http://www.charityvillage.com/cv/research/rdm38.html">http://www.charityvillage.com/cv/research/rdm38.html</a> "Acquisition mailings (designed to acquire new donors) typically generate low response rates. An acceptable response rate with an acquisition mailing is somewhere between 0.5 percent and 2.5 percent. A response rate of only half of one percent might not sound adequate to you, but it's acceptable if your costs are low or your average gift is high. " Now that refers to acquisition mailings to strangers, but even to family members I would surmise it probably isn't realistic to expect much more than 5-25%.
I think part of my ambivalence about raising money for these walks for all of the different charities is that the people who put out the effort are the very ones that the illness is ravaging and the rate of return really is so low for each of them, but still high enough (say "half of one percent" mentined above) that the charity itself benefits since the cost to the charity is low (they don't have hire letter writers, buy mailing lists, or pay postage). It almosts sets folks like you up for frustration and anger.
I am sad to see you so angry - to see you letting other folks just "own" you that way. You need your energy for yourself and your immediate family. Please, for your sake, do what you need to do to change your expectations or your interpretation of why you didn't get the returns from folks, or whatever so that you can let the anger go. It's hurting you so much more than it is hurting them.
Again, I don't even know how you could put yourself out like that. I just don't have the temperment. (Could never be in sales. Could never do the "cold calling" required or take the number of "no"s you get before you get to a "yes".)
Good for you for giving it a shot.
