HERE WE GO---UPDATED AND SAD :(

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anonymous

New member
RE:HERE WE GO :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!! I am the wife of Bengalsfan he is 30 w/cf and we went through the whole PESA/ICSI/IVF process in July of 2002 and we now have a beautiful set of twin boys that are about to turn 3 in February!!! I'm so happy for you as I know how that all feels. We were just lucky enough to have insurance through my work that paid for it. If it helps and is any encouragement, ours worked the first time. We had 3 eggs attach at first, but only 2 grew out....so we never lost anything, and to be honest the pregnancy probably went a lot smoother w/two babies than it would have with 3. Again, congrats!!!

LeAndra
 
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blindhearted

New member
RE: HERE WE GO :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations!! Hope everything goes great. Keep us updated <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
 
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anonymous

New member
RE:HERE WE GO :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Julie, I am new here, and really felt compelled to respond to you. I can relate alot to what you were saying and I will tell you this, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! My Troy is 37 and we have a 3 year old little girl from our IVF journey. I wish you much success on this road your traveling! Congrats on getting this far. Stay strong and may god bless your family!

Karen
 
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EmilysMom

New member
RE:HERE WE GO :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Julie,
Keep us posted. You know we are all so excited for you and keeping our fingers, toes and eyes crossed.
Hoping,
Barbara
 
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julie

New member
I just updated on my initial post on the first page, it's all in caps. if anyone has suggestions, i woudl really really welcome them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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anonymous

New member
Julie,

I'm very sorry for what you and Mark are going through. My brother is a Major in the Army and I have left a message for him in case he might have some advice or help for you. I will let you know.

Maria (Sami's mom)
 
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rose4cale

New member
Julie and Mark...

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It is so much harder when you're 'pressed' for time. I have no advice in dealing with the military. It is a whole other world I'm sure. Just take care and stay strong. Prayers are with you!
 
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miesl

New member
I don't think they can tell you not to get pregnant (also note, not a lawyer). It's not their f**king decision - otherwise they would mandate that all women in the military be on depo provera.

-Michelle
 
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anonymous

New member
Hi again, Julie -

I spoke to my brother today. He has been in the Military for 17 years. Unfortunately, although he was very sympathetic with your situation, he believes that you must follow the chief's orders. He definitely believes you must report on Monday. He believes that if you start the medication on Sunday, you would be violating an order not to take the drug.

He said your best bet would have been to start the meds before telling the chief. Unfortunately, the chief already is aware that you haven't begun the meds yet. He also believes the chief is within his power to make the order because it is an "elective" procedure.
I had a really hard time with the fact that this is considered elective. We discussed it for awhile. But he tried to point out how the military would view this.

He also said that he is going out to dinner tonight with a friend he was deployed with who is a military lawyer. He has printed out your post and will ask his friend what he thinks. I hope they find a solution for you. He will contact me later tonight, or early tomorrow. He also said that you could privately e-mail him, if you would like to do that, e-mail me mdgoslin@comcast.net and I will give you his email.

Maria
 
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julie

New member
Thanks for your help Maria, I really do appreciate you asking him. I have a feeling that what your brother said is true, although I don't want it to be. Part of me wonders though, since I started the treatment before I talked to him about it, and my report no later than date on my orders is Monday the 16th, and I haven't reported yet, if what the chief told me is something I would actually have to adhere to. I sat and though, prayed, cried, got mad, thought some more, weighed the consequesnces of either choice I make-all last night, I hardley even slept. And the thing is, I am not trying to be hard headed, but if they were to take me to mast for taking the meds, I am kind of like, "ok, if that's what needs to be done". I know it sounds like a stupid move but I have nothing but outstanding evaluations, emails about my good/hard work from the Command master chief of my last command, the only thing they woudl have is this one situation, which is further complicated by a womans reproductive rights. I honestly think I am still goig to take the meds, I am not going to give up easily this time. I know it sounds stupid, I really do but the other option is to wait another 2-3 years (because my cheif has told me I can't pursue this AT ALL while I am on sea duty) and have to do all these tests over again-which we all know isn't cheap and is time consuming. What to do, what to do????
 
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anonymous

New member
Julie,

As a woman and a mother I TOTALLY understand you. It's often hard for me to understand this military lifestyle. Even my brother will occasionally say, "Well, it's the life I chose." I don't envy your position right now. You have to do what you feel is right. Good luck - I will be praying for you.

Maria
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
I don't know anything about it, but what if you weren't taking IVF and just got pregnant naturally? I don't know what their legal rights are, but I just wanted to say that I think it sounds all sorts of effed up, and that they have no effing right to tell you not to get pregnant. WTF. And it's not like you chose now to do it, you've tried 100 times before. UGH.
 
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anonymous

New member
Julie, I say do what you need to do to have a family. You will kick yourself in the butt if this was THE opportunity and you didn't take it. I like Emily's opinion of what if you got pregnant naturally? I cannot believe that your superiors can make such decisions for you. Obviously I have not been in the military but I just can't imagine people thinking they can take this choice away from you. Our CF lives are so limited anyway, why will they try to postpone your future. Ok, I understand that you did choose this but I'm sure you didn't choose to have fertility problems. I think they are crappy people for being so rude about this!
Well I know this didn't help but WE support you!
Best wishes to you and Mark!!!!
~KELLI
 
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anonymous

New member
You are the only one who knows what the right decision is for you and your family. It sound crazy that they can tell you if you can or cannot get pregnant. What if you just got pregnant without treatments...then what? Do you feel like you should have gotten more information about the military's take on things ahead of time? I am so sorry.
 
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Emily65Roses

New member
I myself am a very honest person, and hate lying. But in this kind of case, your natural right as a woman to get pregnant is being denied, so I say lie. Can you lie to them and tell them you won't take the IVF.... and then take it anyway? And when you get pregnant, you can say you guys were one of the lucky 2% and it just happened naturally. Then they can't fault you for it. Just an idea. *shrug*
 
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JazzysMom

New member
My understanding is that she should start it if she cant be followed up on. Blood work & other check ups need to be done & that wont be available to her on the ship even if she was allowed to go while starting it. Its a tough decision & I dont envy U having to make it. I hope U hear from the military lawyer so you dont screw up your career. I would hate to see you lose the opportunity to become a Mom and mess with your career. What does Mark say about all of it?
 
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anonymous

New member
Julie, Emily etc..

My brother's first advice was ... "tell her to just get pregnant, they can't stop or prevent or punish her for that" . . . my reply was, "Well that is what she is trying to do!" He had not heard all the details yet.

Seems the military cannot deny a woman the right to get pregnant if it occurs naturally. But it can dictate a person's elective meds and procedures . . . I don't know . . .

Maria
 
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