Okay I Can't Stand This.

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summer732

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>For me dying with dignity means NO TRANSPLANTS. Why die twice of the same disease</end quote></div>?


Just to clarify....(and I know you said "for you") but you think that I am not going to die with dignity because I had a transplant? I have to just say that is one statement I disagree with.

<b>For me</b>, I will now die with more dignity than I ever could have before because I had a glimpse of normalcy and could actually accomplish things that I have wanted to my whole life and never could because my old lungs would not afford me that luxury. Just because you have a transplant doesn't mean that you die with less dignity than someone who lived with their own lungs until the end. And just because I had a transplant doesn't mean that I will die with more dignity than someone who didn't have a transplant. IMO, the only way to die with dignity is if you die on your terms, the way you want to. And unfortunately that doesn't happen for everyone....
 
S

summer732

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>For me dying with dignity means NO TRANSPLANTS. Why die twice of the same disease</end quote></div>?


Just to clarify....(and I know you said "for you") but you think that I am not going to die with dignity because I had a transplant? I have to just say that is one statement I disagree with.

<b>For me</b>, I will now die with more dignity than I ever could have before because I had a glimpse of normalcy and could actually accomplish things that I have wanted to my whole life and never could because my old lungs would not afford me that luxury. Just because you have a transplant doesn't mean that you die with less dignity than someone who lived with their own lungs until the end. And just because I had a transplant doesn't mean that I will die with more dignity than someone who didn't have a transplant. IMO, the only way to die with dignity is if you die on your terms, the way you want to. And unfortunately that doesn't happen for everyone....
 
S

summer732

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>For me dying with dignity means NO TRANSPLANTS. Why die twice of the same disease</end quote>?


Just to clarify....(and I know you said "for you") but you think that I am not going to die with dignity because I had a transplant? I have to just say that is one statement I disagree with.

<b>For me</b>, I will now die with more dignity than I ever could have before because I had a glimpse of normalcy and could actually accomplish things that I have wanted to my whole life and never could because my old lungs would not afford me that luxury. Just because you have a transplant doesn't mean that you die with less dignity than someone who lived with their own lungs until the end. And just because I had a transplant doesn't mean that I will die with more dignity than someone who didn't have a transplant. IMO, the only way to die with dignity is if you die on your terms, the way you want to. And unfortunately that doesn't happen for everyone....
 
S

summer732

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>For me dying with dignity means NO TRANSPLANTS. Why die twice of the same disease</end quote>?


Just to clarify....(and I know you said "for you") but you think that I am not going to die with dignity because I had a transplant? I have to just say that is one statement I disagree with.

<b>For me</b>, I will now die with more dignity than I ever could have before because I had a glimpse of normalcy and could actually accomplish things that I have wanted to my whole life and never could because my old lungs would not afford me that luxury. Just because you have a transplant doesn't mean that you die with less dignity than someone who lived with their own lungs until the end. And just because I had a transplant doesn't mean that I will die with more dignity than someone who didn't have a transplant. IMO, the only way to die with dignity is if you die on your terms, the way you want to. And unfortunately that doesn't happen for everyone....
 
K

katyf13

New member
I thought about this on my drive to work this morning and I came up with this analogy which may or may not make sense.
Let's say you are running a marathon. Before the marathon, you talk to your family and friends about how it is going to go.
Scenario one: it is mile 19. You are exhausted. You told your loved ones beforehand that you would go as far as you could possibly go and then when you couldn't go anymore, you would stop. After all, 19 miles is extremely impressive, who can claim they have done that? A few of your friends and even some strangers on the sidelines might yell at you to keep going, you can do it. But you know your wishes and you made them clear from the start. 19 miles is amazing.

Scenario 2: You tell your family that no matter what, you want to finish that damn marathon, no matter what it takes, or how much pain there is. You tell them, if I say I'm tired, remind me that this is what I want! Keep encouraging me! You get to mile 19 and you are so exhausted. "I'm tired" The people on the sidelines are cheering you and it reminds you of your ultimate goal. You keep going, whether you collapse and can't go on at mile 23 or you finish the race, this is what you wanted!

My point is that if someone says "I'm tired" for the first time it doesn't always mean "stop the presses, pull all the plugs!" There is nothing wrong with encouragement. There is a problem with bullying, but encouragement is not a bad thing, if you know what the person truly wants. You still need to listen with your ears and heart to what they truly want (you are allowed to change your mind!), but as people who truly care about our family members, I think it's a fine thing to encourage.
 
K

katyf13

New member
I thought about this on my drive to work this morning and I came up with this analogy which may or may not make sense.
Let's say you are running a marathon. Before the marathon, you talk to your family and friends about how it is going to go.
Scenario one: it is mile 19. You are exhausted. You told your loved ones beforehand that you would go as far as you could possibly go and then when you couldn't go anymore, you would stop. After all, 19 miles is extremely impressive, who can claim they have done that? A few of your friends and even some strangers on the sidelines might yell at you to keep going, you can do it. But you know your wishes and you made them clear from the start. 19 miles is amazing.

Scenario 2: You tell your family that no matter what, you want to finish that damn marathon, no matter what it takes, or how much pain there is. You tell them, if I say I'm tired, remind me that this is what I want! Keep encouraging me! You get to mile 19 and you are so exhausted. "I'm tired" The people on the sidelines are cheering you and it reminds you of your ultimate goal. You keep going, whether you collapse and can't go on at mile 23 or you finish the race, this is what you wanted!

My point is that if someone says "I'm tired" for the first time it doesn't always mean "stop the presses, pull all the plugs!" There is nothing wrong with encouragement. There is a problem with bullying, but encouragement is not a bad thing, if you know what the person truly wants. You still need to listen with your ears and heart to what they truly want (you are allowed to change your mind!), but as people who truly care about our family members, I think it's a fine thing to encourage.
 
K

katyf13

New member
I thought about this on my drive to work this morning and I came up with this analogy which may or may not make sense.
Let's say you are running a marathon. Before the marathon, you talk to your family and friends about how it is going to go.
Scenario one: it is mile 19. You are exhausted. You told your loved ones beforehand that you would go as far as you could possibly go and then when you couldn't go anymore, you would stop. After all, 19 miles is extremely impressive, who can claim they have done that? A few of your friends and even some strangers on the sidelines might yell at you to keep going, you can do it. But you know your wishes and you made them clear from the start. 19 miles is amazing.

Scenario 2: You tell your family that no matter what, you want to finish that damn marathon, no matter what it takes, or how much pain there is. You tell them, if I say I'm tired, remind me that this is what I want! Keep encouraging me! You get to mile 19 and you are so exhausted. "I'm tired" The people on the sidelines are cheering you and it reminds you of your ultimate goal. You keep going, whether you collapse and can't go on at mile 23 or you finish the race, this is what you wanted!

My point is that if someone says "I'm tired" for the first time it doesn't always mean "stop the presses, pull all the plugs!" There is nothing wrong with encouragement. There is a problem with bullying, but encouragement is not a bad thing, if you know what the person truly wants. You still need to listen with your ears and heart to what they truly want (you are allowed to change your mind!), but as people who truly care about our family members, I think it's a fine thing to encourage.
 
K

katyf13

New member
I thought about this on my drive to work this morning and I came up with this analogy which may or may not make sense.
Let's say you are running a marathon. Before the marathon, you talk to your family and friends about how it is going to go.
Scenario one: it is mile 19. You are exhausted. You told your loved ones beforehand that you would go as far as you could possibly go and then when you couldn't go anymore, you would stop. After all, 19 miles is extremely impressive, who can claim they have done that? A few of your friends and even some strangers on the sidelines might yell at you to keep going, you can do it. But you know your wishes and you made them clear from the start. 19 miles is amazing.

Scenario 2: You tell your family that no matter what, you want to finish that damn marathon, no matter what it takes, or how much pain there is. You tell them, if I say I'm tired, remind me that this is what I want! Keep encouraging me! You get to mile 19 and you are so exhausted. "I'm tired" The people on the sidelines are cheering you and it reminds you of your ultimate goal. You keep going, whether you collapse and can't go on at mile 23 or you finish the race, this is what you wanted!

My point is that if someone says "I'm tired" for the first time it doesn't always mean "stop the presses, pull all the plugs!" There is nothing wrong with encouragement. There is a problem with bullying, but encouragement is not a bad thing, if you know what the person truly wants. You still need to listen with your ears and heart to what they truly want (you are allowed to change your mind!), but as people who truly care about our family members, I think it's a fine thing to encourage.
 
K

katyf13

New member
I thought about this on my drive to work this morning and I came up with this analogy which may or may not make sense.
Let's say you are running a marathon. Before the marathon, you talk to your family and friends about how it is going to go.
Scenario one: it is mile 19. You are exhausted. You told your loved ones beforehand that you would go as far as you could possibly go and then when you couldn't go anymore, you would stop. After all, 19 miles is extremely impressive, who can claim they have done that? A few of your friends and even some strangers on the sidelines might yell at you to keep going, you can do it. But you know your wishes and you made them clear from the start. 19 miles is amazing.

Scenario 2: You tell your family that no matter what, you want to finish that damn marathon, no matter what it takes, or how much pain there is. You tell them, if I say I'm tired, remind me that this is what I want! Keep encouraging me! You get to mile 19 and you are so exhausted. "I'm tired" The people on the sidelines are cheering you and it reminds you of your ultimate goal. You keep going, whether you collapse and can't go on at mile 23 or you finish the race, this is what you wanted!

My point is that if someone says "I'm tired" for the first time it doesn't always mean "stop the presses, pull all the plugs!" There is nothing wrong with encouragement. There is a problem with bullying, but encouragement is not a bad thing, if you know what the person truly wants. You still need to listen with your ears and heart to what they truly want (you are allowed to change your mind!), but as people who truly care about our family members, I think it's a fine thing to encourage.
 
K

katyf13

New member
I thought about this on my drive to work this morning and I came up with this analogy which may or may not make sense.
Let's say you are running a marathon. Before the marathon, you talk to your family and friends about how it is going to go.
Scenario one: it is mile 19. You are exhausted. You told your loved ones beforehand that you would go as far as you could possibly go and then when you couldn't go anymore, you would stop. After all, 19 miles is extremely impressive, who can claim they have done that? A few of your friends and even some strangers on the sidelines might yell at you to keep going, you can do it. But you know your wishes and you made them clear from the start. 19 miles is amazing.

Scenario 2: You tell your family that no matter what, you want to finish that damn marathon, no matter what it takes, or how much pain there is. You tell them, if I say I'm tired, remind me that this is what I want! Keep encouraging me! You get to mile 19 and you are so exhausted. "I'm tired" The people on the sidelines are cheering you and it reminds you of your ultimate goal. You keep going, whether you collapse and can't go on at mile 23 or you finish the race, this is what you wanted!

My point is that if someone says "I'm tired" for the first time it doesn't always mean "stop the presses, pull all the plugs!" There is nothing wrong with encouragement. There is a problem with bullying, but encouragement is not a bad thing, if you know what the person truly wants. You still need to listen with your ears and heart to what they truly want (you are allowed to change your mind!), but as people who truly care about our family members, I think it's a fine thing to encourage.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
Katy I very much like your analogy. I believe the problem comes when our loved ones have seen us go a few more miles then expected (using the marathon scenario) so they push for a few more & a few more. It can get complicated & quite frankly "confusing" as to how much to encourage or "push" since we often are surprised at how much fight we have in ourselves. I think this is where the debate of what the CFer wants versus what the loved ones want comes in. I have a very good friend whose daughter died of AIDS. We referred to her daughter as the rebound girl because every time she got sick, she pulled out of it. My friend was devistated because the last time she didnt pull out of it and she thought she didnt encourage her or help enough for her to rebound one more time. It was a bitter/sweet time.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
Katy I very much like your analogy. I believe the problem comes when our loved ones have seen us go a few more miles then expected (using the marathon scenario) so they push for a few more & a few more. It can get complicated & quite frankly "confusing" as to how much to encourage or "push" since we often are surprised at how much fight we have in ourselves. I think this is where the debate of what the CFer wants versus what the loved ones want comes in. I have a very good friend whose daughter died of AIDS. We referred to her daughter as the rebound girl because every time she got sick, she pulled out of it. My friend was devistated because the last time she didnt pull out of it and she thought she didnt encourage her or help enough for her to rebound one more time. It was a bitter/sweet time.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
Katy I very much like your analogy. I believe the problem comes when our loved ones have seen us go a few more miles then expected (using the marathon scenario) so they push for a few more & a few more. It can get complicated & quite frankly "confusing" as to how much to encourage or "push" since we often are surprised at how much fight we have in ourselves. I think this is where the debate of what the CFer wants versus what the loved ones want comes in. I have a very good friend whose daughter died of AIDS. We referred to her daughter as the rebound girl because every time she got sick, she pulled out of it. My friend was devistated because the last time she didnt pull out of it and she thought she didnt encourage her or help enough for her to rebound one more time. It was a bitter/sweet time.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
Katy I very much like your analogy. I believe the problem comes when our loved ones have seen us go a few more miles then expected (using the marathon scenario) so they push for a few more & a few more. It can get complicated & quite frankly "confusing" as to how much to encourage or "push" since we often are surprised at how much fight we have in ourselves. I think this is where the debate of what the CFer wants versus what the loved ones want comes in. I have a very good friend whose daughter died of AIDS. We referred to her daughter as the rebound girl because every time she got sick, she pulled out of it. My friend was devistated because the last time she didnt pull out of it and she thought she didnt encourage her or help enough for her to rebound one more time. It was a bitter/sweet time.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
Katy I very much like your analogy. I believe the problem comes when our loved ones have seen us go a few more miles then expected (using the marathon scenario) so they push for a few more & a few more. It can get complicated & quite frankly "confusing" as to how much to encourage or "push" since we often are surprised at how much fight we have in ourselves. I think this is where the debate of what the CFer wants versus what the loved ones want comes in. I have a very good friend whose daughter died of AIDS. We referred to her daughter as the rebound girl because every time she got sick, she pulled out of it. My friend was devistated because the last time she didnt pull out of it and she thought she didnt encourage her or help enough for her to rebound one more time. It was a bitter/sweet time.
 
J

JazzysMom

New member
Katy I very much like your analogy. I believe the problem comes when our loved ones have seen us go a few more miles then expected (using the marathon scenario) so they push for a few more & a few more. It can get complicated & quite frankly "confusing" as to how much to encourage or "push" since we often are surprised at how much fight we have in ourselves. I think this is where the debate of what the CFer wants versus what the loved ones want comes in. I have a very good friend whose daughter died of AIDS. We referred to her daughter as the rebound girl because every time she got sick, she pulled out of it. My friend was devistated because the last time she didnt pull out of it and she thought she didnt encourage her or help enough for her to rebound one more time. It was a bitter/sweet time.
 
M

moxie1

Guest
Katy,

You said exactly what I was thinking. When I've gone through a rough time, I have said, "I just want it to end...I can't take this." But I really didn't mean it. I was just discouraged. We often say things we don't mean deep down.
 
M

moxie1

Guest
Katy,

You said exactly what I was thinking. When I've gone through a rough time, I have said, "I just want it to end...I can't take this." But I really didn't mean it. I was just discouraged. We often say things we don't mean deep down.
 
M

moxie1

Guest
Katy,

You said exactly what I was thinking. When I've gone through a rough time, I have said, "I just want it to end...I can't take this." But I really didn't mean it. I was just discouraged. We often say things we don't mean deep down.
 
M

moxie1

Guest
Katy,

You said exactly what I was thinking. When I've gone through a rough time, I have said, "I just want it to end...I can't take this." But I really didn't mean it. I was just discouraged. We often say things we don't mean deep down.
 
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