jdprecious
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Sheridan</b></i>
Okay, I have an 8 yo with CF and a 1yo with CF too. We always planned on having 3 children since before we were even married, when Jordan was diagnosed it really knocked us for six. We took a couple of years to think about things and then decided to try again for another baby naturally. After 2.5 years with nothing we began to look into IVF with PGD. We had a cycle and got some eggs and they were fertilised, but unfortunilty I developed Overian Hyper Stimulation and they could not go ahead withthe cyle and PGD. I had to take a break for 6 months. However during that time the science lab closed and we ran into all sorts of problems with the IVF.
I went through terrible highs and lows with the whole process of just trying to get the IVF going again, and the intense desire to have another child. My husband was very scared of having another CF baby, as he felt it would detract from the care we could provide. Finally when Jordan was 6.5 I came to a point were I thought I would be able to cope just fine with only having one child, but that is when my hubbys clcukiness came to the forfront. I felt that I couldn't face that whole IVF thing again and he was still scared of CF. And he knew that even if I got pregant and we found out the baby had CF I had every intention of going through with the pregancyso we brokered a deal.
Try naturally for 12 months - just through normal relationship sex (not baby making sex if you know what i mean!, If it was unsuccessful (did I mentioned that he was diagnosed as very low fertility), we would once again go through IVF, but only 3 cycles, if that was unsuccessful look into overseas adoption.
Things took a while to get going before we bagan to work on the contract. Meanwhile Hubby got called up to go overseas for work for 6 months. He came home and for 10 days and lo and behold 2 weeks after he went back two blue lines turned up on prenancy test. Of course I was over the moon. When I called him up - his intial reaction was anger over the situation. Needless to say once his shock wore off he was absolutly exstatic.
He returned home when I was 19 weeks pregnant, and I, as I always planned refused to have any testing. although on this return date i had an ultrasound and the technician recoginsed bright bowel syndrome which can be an indicator for CF. I had a great pregnancy. CF never raised it ugly head to ruin our joy. We did make plans to get the baby blood cord bank, which was free through a partnership between the cord blood bank and CF Australia.
When Aidan was born, Chris and I knew right away he had CF because he was salty to kiss. After 2 weeks the official diagnosis confirmed our own.
Has it been smooth sailing - no. Aidan was hospitalised in March (5 months) for 3 weeks with phsydomonus (sp?). We worried about cross infection, but there was none.
Jordan has been great with having his little brother, when I was pregnant we told him that his brother might have CF and his response was 'that's okay I can tell him all about CF and how the doctors are there to look after you' - damn near cried with pride when he said that.
Would I change anything - NO! Did I do the right thing for me and us - YES! But that is us. We made a choice not to allow CF make the decision in our lives.
However, we have just decided that 2 is enough, as we belive it is not fair to have a third child. As if we have 3 CF children it will be incredibly hard, but then to have a non CF child and 2 CF children will be unfair on the non CF - how do you say no you can't have chocolate or ice cream, when the other 2 can.
I think we have the easiest way to have 2 CF children though, as we have no other children and we know no different - it is normal for us to give our children pills, it is normal to take them to the doctors ever few weeks, it is normal to do nebs, physio, it is normal to spend weeks at time in hospital.
Am I reccommending other people have 2 CF child - NO! No one can make that decision for you or even really advise you, you need to discover where you are and what is right for your family, weigh up all the factors - financially, emotionally, strength of relationship, health of current child and use these to influence you decision.
This is my story, I love my boys do I ever feel guilty NO! Not even after knowing the 25% chance, he is loved, made from love and is more precious than any child (equal with my first obviously) and we have genetics to prove that he is a rare gem indeed.
Good luck with your decision and whatever you decided know in your heart that you have made the right decision.
One other thing I will mention is that in our pregnancy contract we made a point that if we went through PGD it was never ever to be discussed with Jordan; that we selected a baby that did not have CF over those that did. Think as to how that information would make him feel.</end quote></div>
This is one of the most touching stories and fresh perspectives on this topic that I have read on this board in a very long time. If I had been in that position, I would hope that I had handled it as well and with the same level of unconditional love as you. <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
Okay, I have an 8 yo with CF and a 1yo with CF too. We always planned on having 3 children since before we were even married, when Jordan was diagnosed it really knocked us for six. We took a couple of years to think about things and then decided to try again for another baby naturally. After 2.5 years with nothing we began to look into IVF with PGD. We had a cycle and got some eggs and they were fertilised, but unfortunilty I developed Overian Hyper Stimulation and they could not go ahead withthe cyle and PGD. I had to take a break for 6 months. However during that time the science lab closed and we ran into all sorts of problems with the IVF.
I went through terrible highs and lows with the whole process of just trying to get the IVF going again, and the intense desire to have another child. My husband was very scared of having another CF baby, as he felt it would detract from the care we could provide. Finally when Jordan was 6.5 I came to a point were I thought I would be able to cope just fine with only having one child, but that is when my hubbys clcukiness came to the forfront. I felt that I couldn't face that whole IVF thing again and he was still scared of CF. And he knew that even if I got pregant and we found out the baby had CF I had every intention of going through with the pregancyso we brokered a deal.
Try naturally for 12 months - just through normal relationship sex (not baby making sex if you know what i mean!, If it was unsuccessful (did I mentioned that he was diagnosed as very low fertility), we would once again go through IVF, but only 3 cycles, if that was unsuccessful look into overseas adoption.
Things took a while to get going before we bagan to work on the contract. Meanwhile Hubby got called up to go overseas for work for 6 months. He came home and for 10 days and lo and behold 2 weeks after he went back two blue lines turned up on prenancy test. Of course I was over the moon. When I called him up - his intial reaction was anger over the situation. Needless to say once his shock wore off he was absolutly exstatic.
He returned home when I was 19 weeks pregnant, and I, as I always planned refused to have any testing. although on this return date i had an ultrasound and the technician recoginsed bright bowel syndrome which can be an indicator for CF. I had a great pregnancy. CF never raised it ugly head to ruin our joy. We did make plans to get the baby blood cord bank, which was free through a partnership between the cord blood bank and CF Australia.
When Aidan was born, Chris and I knew right away he had CF because he was salty to kiss. After 2 weeks the official diagnosis confirmed our own.
Has it been smooth sailing - no. Aidan was hospitalised in March (5 months) for 3 weeks with phsydomonus (sp?). We worried about cross infection, but there was none.
Jordan has been great with having his little brother, when I was pregnant we told him that his brother might have CF and his response was 'that's okay I can tell him all about CF and how the doctors are there to look after you' - damn near cried with pride when he said that.
Would I change anything - NO! Did I do the right thing for me and us - YES! But that is us. We made a choice not to allow CF make the decision in our lives.
However, we have just decided that 2 is enough, as we belive it is not fair to have a third child. As if we have 3 CF children it will be incredibly hard, but then to have a non CF child and 2 CF children will be unfair on the non CF - how do you say no you can't have chocolate or ice cream, when the other 2 can.
I think we have the easiest way to have 2 CF children though, as we have no other children and we know no different - it is normal for us to give our children pills, it is normal to take them to the doctors ever few weeks, it is normal to do nebs, physio, it is normal to spend weeks at time in hospital.
Am I reccommending other people have 2 CF child - NO! No one can make that decision for you or even really advise you, you need to discover where you are and what is right for your family, weigh up all the factors - financially, emotionally, strength of relationship, health of current child and use these to influence you decision.
This is my story, I love my boys do I ever feel guilty NO! Not even after knowing the 25% chance, he is loved, made from love and is more precious than any child (equal with my first obviously) and we have genetics to prove that he is a rare gem indeed.
Good luck with your decision and whatever you decided know in your heart that you have made the right decision.
One other thing I will mention is that in our pregnancy contract we made a point that if we went through PGD it was never ever to be discussed with Jordan; that we selected a baby that did not have CF over those that did. Think as to how that information would make him feel.</end quote></div>
This is one of the most touching stories and fresh perspectives on this topic that I have read on this board in a very long time. If I had been in that position, I would hope that I had handled it as well and with the same level of unconditional love as you. <img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">