Should I have more children?

CFHockeyMom · Jul 18, 2008

As stated, this is a very personal decision. One that has been debated here several times and usually ends up in a locked thread.

That said, since you are asking for our input, I'll give you my mine...

Do you have the time to dedicate to another CFer (keeping in mind your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Are you financially able to take care of two CFers (not just now but in the future; many CFers live with Mom/Dad even into adulthood)?

Can you handle the emotional issues related with another CFer (again, keeping in mind that your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Your son is still very young. You and he have just begun your CF journey; a journey into the unknown. The progression of disease in your son may be slow or it may be quick. Don't underestimate CF.

The fact is that if you are going to take the chance then you need to prepare for the worst possible outcome. It is irresponsible and selfish not to.

As you can probably tell, my answer to your question (a question that my husband and I also dealt with) is NO you shouldn't have any more children the natural way.

I don't agree that IVF w/ PGD is abortion but some do. That's something you'll have to wrestle with.

Sperm or egg donation is not guarantee of no CF so you may as well just take your chances with yours.

Adoption, adoption, adoption. It is the most selfless and loving thing you can do.

CFHockeyMom · Jul 18, 2008

As stated, this is a very personal decision. One that has been debated here several times and usually ends up in a locked thread.

That said, since you are asking for our input, I'll give you my mine...

Do you have the time to dedicate to another CFer (keeping in mind your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Are you financially able to take care of two CFers (not just now but in the future; many CFers live with Mom/Dad even into adulthood)?

Can you handle the emotional issues related with another CFer (again, keeping in mind that your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Your son is still very young. You and he have just begun your CF journey; a journey into the unknown. The progression of disease in your son may be slow or it may be quick. Don't underestimate CF.

The fact is that if you are going to take the chance then you need to prepare for the worst possible outcome. It is irresponsible and selfish not to.

As you can probably tell, my answer to your question (a question that my husband and I also dealt with) is NO you shouldn't have any more children the natural way.

I don't agree that IVF w/ PGD is abortion but some do. That's something you'll have to wrestle with.

Sperm or egg donation is not guarantee of no CF so you may as well just take your chances with yours.

Adoption, adoption, adoption. It is the most selfless and loving thing you can do.

CFHockeyMom · Jul 18, 2008

As stated, this is a very personal decision. One that has been debated here several times and usually ends up in a locked thread.

That said, since you are asking for our input, I'll give you my mine...

Do you have the time to dedicate to another CFer (keeping in mind your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Are you financially able to take care of two CFers (not just now but in the future; many CFers live with Mom/Dad even into adulthood)?

Can you handle the emotional issues related with another CFer (again, keeping in mind that your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Your son is still very young. You and he have just begun your CF journey; a journey into the unknown. The progression of disease in your son may be slow or it may be quick. Don't underestimate CF.

The fact is that if you are going to take the chance then you need to prepare for the worst possible outcome. It is irresponsible and selfish not to.

As you can probably tell, my answer to your question (a question that my husband and I also dealt with) is NO you shouldn't have any more children the natural way.

I don't agree that IVF w/ PGD is abortion but some do. That's something you'll have to wrestle with.

Sperm or egg donation is not guarantee of no CF so you may as well just take your chances with yours.

Adoption, adoption, adoption. It is the most selfless and loving thing you can do.

CFHockeyMom · Jul 18, 2008

As stated, this is a very personal decision. One that has been debated here several times and usually ends up in a locked thread.

That said, since you are asking for our input, I'll give you my mine...

Do you have the time to dedicate to another CFer (keeping in mind your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Are you financially able to take care of two CFers (not just now but in the future; many CFers live with Mom/Dad even into adulthood)?

Can you handle the emotional issues related with another CFer (again, keeping in mind that your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?

Your son is still very young. You and he have just begun your CF journey; a journey into the unknown. The progression of disease in your son may be slow or it may be quick. Don't underestimate CF.

The fact is that if you are going to take the chance then you need to prepare for the worst possible outcome. It is irresponsible and selfish not to.

As you can probably tell, my answer to your question (a question that my husband and I also dealt with) is NO you shouldn't have any more children the natural way.

I don't agree that IVF w/ PGD is abortion but some do. That's something you'll have to wrestle with.

Sperm or egg donation is not guarantee of no CF so you may as well just take your chances with yours.

Adoption, adoption, adoption. It is the most selfless and loving thing you can do.

CFHockeyMom · Jul 18, 2008

As stated, this is a very personal decision. One that has been debated here several times and usually ends up in a locked thread.
 
 That said, since you are asking for our input, I'll give you my mine...
 
 Do you have the time to dedicate to another CFer (keeping in mind your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?
 
 Are you financially able to take care of two CFers (not just now but in the future; many CFers live with Mom/Dad even into adulthood)?
 
 Can you handle the emotional issues related with another CFer (again, keeping in mind that your next CFer may not be as healthy as your first)?
 
 Your son is still very young. You and he have just begun your CF journey; a journey into the unknown. The progression of disease in your son may be slow or it may be quick. Don't underestimate CF.
 
 The fact is that if you are going to take the chance then you need to prepare for the worst possible outcome. It is irresponsible and selfish not to.
 
 As you can probably tell, my answer to your question (a question that my husband and I also dealt with) is NO you shouldn't have any more children the natural way.
 
 I don't agree that IVF w/ PGD is abortion but some do. That's something you'll have to wrestle with.
 
 Sperm or egg donation is not guarantee of no CF so you may as well just take your chances with yours.
 
 Adoption, adoption, adoption. It is the most selfless and loving thing you can do.

Transplantmommy · Jul 18, 2008

I have CF and had a child knowing that there was a chance my husband could carry the gene. My docs wanted me to abort the pregnancy for many reason, including that Brady could have CF. I just could not do it!! He was already in my belly and he was mine, CF or not. Brady does not have CF but he does have some vision problems (blind in right eye and wears glasses because vision is not great in left eye).

My point is, no matter if CF is a risk in your family or not, there are other things that the child could have. Everyone is taking chances when they have a child. It is a very personal decision and it is your decision. I have two siblings who are older and two siblings who are younger and none of them have CF. I was diagnosed at 6 months, so my parents knew that they carried the gene and had more children.

I would love to have another child but I had my tubes tied when they did the c-section for Brady because I was already being evaluated for transplants and couldn't risk getting pregnant again. Now that I have had the transplants, it would be a risk to get pregnant because of the transplant meds.

I am sure that this doesn't make your decision any easier, but I just wanted to show you that others have been in the same boat. You will make the decision that is right for you.

Transplantmommy · Jul 18, 2008

I have CF and had a child knowing that there was a chance my husband could carry the gene. My docs wanted me to abort the pregnancy for many reason, including that Brady could have CF. I just could not do it!! He was already in my belly and he was mine, CF or not. Brady does not have CF but he does have some vision problems (blind in right eye and wears glasses because vision is not great in left eye).

My point is, no matter if CF is a risk in your family or not, there are other things that the child could have. Everyone is taking chances when they have a child. It is a very personal decision and it is your decision. I have two siblings who are older and two siblings who are younger and none of them have CF. I was diagnosed at 6 months, so my parents knew that they carried the gene and had more children.

I would love to have another child but I had my tubes tied when they did the c-section for Brady because I was already being evaluated for transplants and couldn't risk getting pregnant again. Now that I have had the transplants, it would be a risk to get pregnant because of the transplant meds.

I am sure that this doesn't make your decision any easier, but I just wanted to show you that others have been in the same boat. You will make the decision that is right for you.

Transplantmommy · Jul 18, 2008

I have CF and had a child knowing that there was a chance my husband could carry the gene. My docs wanted me to abort the pregnancy for many reason, including that Brady could have CF. I just could not do it!! He was already in my belly and he was mine, CF or not. Brady does not have CF but he does have some vision problems (blind in right eye and wears glasses because vision is not great in left eye).

My point is, no matter if CF is a risk in your family or not, there are other things that the child could have. Everyone is taking chances when they have a child. It is a very personal decision and it is your decision. I have two siblings who are older and two siblings who are younger and none of them have CF. I was diagnosed at 6 months, so my parents knew that they carried the gene and had more children.

I would love to have another child but I had my tubes tied when they did the c-section for Brady because I was already being evaluated for transplants and couldn't risk getting pregnant again. Now that I have had the transplants, it would be a risk to get pregnant because of the transplant meds.

I am sure that this doesn't make your decision any easier, but I just wanted to show you that others have been in the same boat. You will make the decision that is right for you.

Transplantmommy · Jul 18, 2008

I have CF and had a child knowing that there was a chance my husband could carry the gene. My docs wanted me to abort the pregnancy for many reason, including that Brady could have CF. I just could not do it!! He was already in my belly and he was mine, CF or not. Brady does not have CF but he does have some vision problems (blind in right eye and wears glasses because vision is not great in left eye).

My point is, no matter if CF is a risk in your family or not, there are other things that the child could have. Everyone is taking chances when they have a child. It is a very personal decision and it is your decision. I have two siblings who are older and two siblings who are younger and none of them have CF. I was diagnosed at 6 months, so my parents knew that they carried the gene and had more children.

I would love to have another child but I had my tubes tied when they did the c-section for Brady because I was already being evaluated for transplants and couldn't risk getting pregnant again. Now that I have had the transplants, it would be a risk to get pregnant because of the transplant meds.

I am sure that this doesn't make your decision any easier, but I just wanted to show you that others have been in the same boat. You will make the decision that is right for you.

Transplantmommy · Jul 18, 2008

I have CF and had a child knowing that there was a chance my husband could carry the gene. My docs wanted me to abort the pregnancy for many reason, including that Brady could have CF. I just could not do it!! He was already in my belly and he was mine, CF or not. Brady does not have CF but he does have some vision problems (blind in right eye and wears glasses because vision is not great in left eye).
 
 My point is, no matter if CF is a risk in your family or not, there are other things that the child could have. Everyone is taking chances when they have a child. It is a very personal decision and it is your decision. I have two siblings who are older and two siblings who are younger and none of them have CF. I was diagnosed at 6 months, so my parents knew that they carried the gene and had more children.
 
 I would love to have another child but I had my tubes tied when they did the c-section for Brady because I was already being evaluated for transplants and couldn't risk getting pregnant again. Now that I have had the transplants, it would be a risk to get pregnant because of the transplant meds.
 
 I am sure that this doesn't make your decision any easier, but I just wanted to show you that others have been in the same boat. You will make the decision that is right for you.

Mommy2Alysa · Jul 18, 2008

I agree that adoption is a good solution but I will also say (as I have two CF kids) that we always wanted more then one. I was an only child and hated and I didnt want to have to have the talk with Alysa where we had to tell her that her health was the reason we didnt have any more. I know that sounds silly but I didnt want her to feel like it was her fault in a way.. some may say that she wouldnt, some may agree but for us we took our chance and rolled the dice. I will say in my defense before anyone jumps down my throat <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> that like I said before we had just found out about Alysa when I became preg again, we didnt really know much about CF and the ball was already rolling for us to have another baby.

Maybe it is because we live in Canada but hte financial "burden" of a CF child is not that great. All her meds are paid for (except her Tobi and Pulmozyme but work benefits cover that) even her pediasure is covered by the foundation up here - plus we have her on disability which helps us out when it comes to buying all the extra food we normally wouldnt (like real butter).

it was hard recently with Alysa in the hospital. We had to ship Kiana to Grandma's and I saw her for maybe 5 hours during those two weeks. It was rough.

This is ultimately your decision and I was in your shoes. I didnt know what to do when I found out that Kiana had CF but I decided (and I am not very religious) that I wouldnt be given more then I could handle and so far we are doing alright. There are ALOT more happy days then sad and I am sooo glad that Alysa has a little sister to love and like I said before they can understand each other / support each other in a way that the rest of my family cant.

Good luck with your decision adn like I said before - feel free to pm me.

Mommy2Alysa · Jul 18, 2008

I agree that adoption is a good solution but I will also say (as I have two CF kids) that we always wanted more then one. I was an only child and hated and I didnt want to have to have the talk with Alysa where we had to tell her that her health was the reason we didnt have any more. I know that sounds silly but I didnt want her to feel like it was her fault in a way.. some may say that she wouldnt, some may agree but for us we took our chance and rolled the dice. I will say in my defense before anyone jumps down my throat <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> that like I said before we had just found out about Alysa when I became preg again, we didnt really know much about CF and the ball was already rolling for us to have another baby.

Maybe it is because we live in Canada but hte financial "burden" of a CF child is not that great. All her meds are paid for (except her Tobi and Pulmozyme but work benefits cover that) even her pediasure is covered by the foundation up here - plus we have her on disability which helps us out when it comes to buying all the extra food we normally wouldnt (like real butter).

it was hard recently with Alysa in the hospital. We had to ship Kiana to Grandma's and I saw her for maybe 5 hours during those two weeks. It was rough.

This is ultimately your decision and I was in your shoes. I didnt know what to do when I found out that Kiana had CF but I decided (and I am not very religious) that I wouldnt be given more then I could handle and so far we are doing alright. There are ALOT more happy days then sad and I am sooo glad that Alysa has a little sister to love and like I said before they can understand each other / support each other in a way that the rest of my family cant.

Good luck with your decision adn like I said before - feel free to pm me.

Mommy2Alysa · Jul 18, 2008

I agree that adoption is a good solution but I will also say (as I have two CF kids) that we always wanted more then one. I was an only child and hated and I didnt want to have to have the talk with Alysa where we had to tell her that her health was the reason we didnt have any more. I know that sounds silly but I didnt want her to feel like it was her fault in a way.. some may say that she wouldnt, some may agree but for us we took our chance and rolled the dice. I will say in my defense before anyone jumps down my throat <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> that like I said before we had just found out about Alysa when I became preg again, we didnt really know much about CF and the ball was already rolling for us to have another baby.

Maybe it is because we live in Canada but hte financial "burden" of a CF child is not that great. All her meds are paid for (except her Tobi and Pulmozyme but work benefits cover that) even her pediasure is covered by the foundation up here - plus we have her on disability which helps us out when it comes to buying all the extra food we normally wouldnt (like real butter).

it was hard recently with Alysa in the hospital. We had to ship Kiana to Grandma's and I saw her for maybe 5 hours during those two weeks. It was rough.

This is ultimately your decision and I was in your shoes. I didnt know what to do when I found out that Kiana had CF but I decided (and I am not very religious) that I wouldnt be given more then I could handle and so far we are doing alright. There are ALOT more happy days then sad and I am sooo glad that Alysa has a little sister to love and like I said before they can understand each other / support each other in a way that the rest of my family cant.

Good luck with your decision adn like I said before - feel free to pm me.

Mommy2Alysa · Jul 18, 2008

I agree that adoption is a good solution but I will also say (as I have two CF kids) that we always wanted more then one. I was an only child and hated and I didnt want to have to have the talk with Alysa where we had to tell her that her health was the reason we didnt have any more. I know that sounds silly but I didnt want her to feel like it was her fault in a way.. some may say that she wouldnt, some may agree but for us we took our chance and rolled the dice. I will say in my defense before anyone jumps down my throat <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> that like I said before we had just found out about Alysa when I became preg again, we didnt really know much about CF and the ball was already rolling for us to have another baby.

Maybe it is because we live in Canada but hte financial "burden" of a CF child is not that great. All her meds are paid for (except her Tobi and Pulmozyme but work benefits cover that) even her pediasure is covered by the foundation up here - plus we have her on disability which helps us out when it comes to buying all the extra food we normally wouldnt (like real butter).

it was hard recently with Alysa in the hospital. We had to ship Kiana to Grandma's and I saw her for maybe 5 hours during those two weeks. It was rough.

This is ultimately your decision and I was in your shoes. I didnt know what to do when I found out that Kiana had CF but I decided (and I am not very religious) that I wouldnt be given more then I could handle and so far we are doing alright. There are ALOT more happy days then sad and I am sooo glad that Alysa has a little sister to love and like I said before they can understand each other / support each other in a way that the rest of my family cant.

Good luck with your decision adn like I said before - feel free to pm me.

Mommy2Alysa · Jul 18, 2008

I agree that adoption is a good solution but I will also say (as I have two CF kids) that we always wanted more then one. I was an only child and hated and I didnt want to have to have the talk with Alysa where we had to tell her that her health was the reason we didnt have any more. I know that sounds silly but I didnt want her to feel like it was her fault in a way.. some may say that she wouldnt, some may agree but for us we took our chance and rolled the dice. I will say in my defense before anyone jumps down my throat <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0"> that like I said before we had just found out about Alysa when I became preg again, we didnt really know much about CF and the ball was already rolling for us to have another baby.
 
 Maybe it is because we live in Canada but hte financial "burden" of a CF child is not that great. All her meds are paid for (except her Tobi and Pulmozyme but work benefits cover that) even her pediasure is covered by the foundation up here - plus we have her on disability which helps us out when it comes to buying all the extra food we normally wouldnt (like real butter).
 
 it was hard recently with Alysa in the hospital. We had to ship Kiana to Grandma's and I saw her for maybe 5 hours during those two weeks. It was rough.
 
 This is ultimately your decision and I was in your shoes. I didnt know what to do when I found out that Kiana had CF but I decided (and I am not very religious) that I wouldnt be given more then I could handle and so far we are doing alright. There are ALOT more happy days then sad and I am sooo glad that Alysa has a little sister to love and like I said before they can understand each other / support each other in a way that the rest of my family cant.
 
 Good luck with your decision adn like I said before - feel free to pm me.

Buckeye · Jul 18, 2008

If you do a search you will find that this question comes up often and people tend to be very opinionated one way or the other. That being said, my opinion would be that if your child was just born a few months ago you have plenty of time to really think about this decision. No need to rush into a new baby or make a life altering decision right now. I would suggest thinking about it for at least a year or two until you have had experience in raising your current CF child so you can view the realities of CF and the amount of work involved.My situation is slightly different, but still very similar. My son is 9 years old and was only diagnosed with CF in the last few years. But my son was born 10 weeks prematurely and I found out during the c-section that I have a weird birth defect that would not allow me to ever carry a baby to full-term. My son has had many very seriously complications from being born prematurely including Cerebral Palsy, visual impairment, seizures and the list goes on. Any future babies I had would also be premature and not be able to make it much further than 30 weeks if that. That being said and all the complications associated with having a preemie we decided that we could not in good conscious knowingly do that to another child. Sure there was a chance that the baby would be born prematurely AND not have any of the devastating problems that can come with preemies, but that was no guarantee. So we chose not to just close our eyes and jump. Now that we have found out that he has CF also, I am forever grateful for that decision.

Buckeye · Jul 18, 2008

If you do a search you will find that this question comes up often and people tend to be very opinionated one way or the other. That being said, my opinion would be that if your child was just born a few months ago you have plenty of time to really think about this decision. No need to rush into a new baby or make a life altering decision right now. I would suggest thinking about it for at least a year or two until you have had experience in raising your current CF child so you can view the realities of CF and the amount of work involved.My situation is slightly different, but still very similar. My son is 9 years old and was only diagnosed with CF in the last few years. But my son was born 10 weeks prematurely and I found out during the c-section that I have a weird birth defect that would not allow me to ever carry a baby to full-term. My son has had many very seriously complications from being born prematurely including Cerebral Palsy, visual impairment, seizures and the list goes on. Any future babies I had would also be premature and not be able to make it much further than 30 weeks if that. That being said and all the complications associated with having a preemie we decided that we could not in good conscious knowingly do that to another child. Sure there was a chance that the baby would be born prematurely AND not have any of the devastating problems that can come with preemies, but that was no guarantee. So we chose not to just close our eyes and jump. Now that we have found out that he has CF also, I am forever grateful for that decision.

Buckeye · Jul 18, 2008

If you do a search you will find that this question comes up often and people tend to be very opinionated one way or the other. That being said, my opinion would be that if your child was just born a few months ago you have plenty of time to really think about this decision. No need to rush into a new baby or make a life altering decision right now. I would suggest thinking about it for at least a year or two until you have had experience in raising your current CF child so you can view the realities of CF and the amount of work involved.My situation is slightly different, but still very similar. My son is 9 years old and was only diagnosed with CF in the last few years. But my son was born 10 weeks prematurely and I found out during the c-section that I have a weird birth defect that would not allow me to ever carry a baby to full-term. My son has had many very seriously complications from being born prematurely including Cerebral Palsy, visual impairment, seizures and the list goes on. Any future babies I had would also be premature and not be able to make it much further than 30 weeks if that. That being said and all the complications associated with having a preemie we decided that we could not in good conscious knowingly do that to another child. Sure there was a chance that the baby would be born prematurely AND not have any of the devastating problems that can come with preemies, but that was no guarantee. So we chose not to just close our eyes and jump. Now that we have found out that he has CF also, I am forever grateful for that decision.

Buckeye · Jul 18, 2008

If you do a search you will find that this question comes up often and people tend to be very opinionated one way or the other. That being said, my opinion would be that if your child was just born a few months ago you have plenty of time to really think about this decision. No need to rush into a new baby or make a life altering decision right now. I would suggest thinking about it for at least a year or two until you have had experience in raising your current CF child so you can view the realities of CF and the amount of work involved.My situation is slightly different, but still very similar. My son is 9 years old and was only diagnosed with CF in the last few years. But my son was born 10 weeks prematurely and I found out during the c-section that I have a weird birth defect that would not allow me to ever carry a baby to full-term. My son has had many very seriously complications from being born prematurely including Cerebral Palsy, visual impairment, seizures and the list goes on. Any future babies I had would also be premature and not be able to make it much further than 30 weeks if that. That being said and all the complications associated with having a preemie we decided that we could not in good conscious knowingly do that to another child. Sure there was a chance that the baby would be born prematurely AND not have any of the devastating problems that can come with preemies, but that was no guarantee. So we chose not to just close our eyes and jump. Now that we have found out that he has CF also, I am forever grateful for that decision.

Buckeye · Jul 18, 2008

If you do a search you will find that this question comes up often and people tend to be very opinionated one way or the other. That being said, my opinion would be that if your child was just born a few months ago you have plenty of time to really think about this decision. No need to rush into a new baby or make a life altering decision right now. I would suggest thinking about it for at least a year or two until you have had experience in raising your current CF child so you can view the realities of CF and the amount of work involved.My situation is slightly different, but still very similar. My son is 9 years old and was only diagnosed with CF in the last few years. But my son was born 10 weeks prematurely and I found out during the c-section that I have a weird birth defect that would not allow me to ever carry a baby to full-term. My son has had many very seriously complications from being born prematurely including Cerebral Palsy, visual impairment, seizures and the list goes on. Any future babies I had would also be premature and not be able to make it much further than 30 weeks if that. That being said and all the complications associated with having a preemie we decided that we could not in good conscious knowingly do that to another child. Sure there was a chance that the baby would be born prematurely AND not have any of the devastating problems that can come with preemies, but that was no guarantee. So we chose not to just close our eyes and jump. Now that we have found out that he has CF also, I am forever grateful for that decision.

Should I have more children?

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