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Stats on People with CF and Carriers having Children with CF?
- Thread starter chantelfox
- Start date
*sigh* Said I wasn't going to post again, but this got me a
little miffed...<br>
<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i> Some are balking at
religion but maybe if you had faith in God it would make it easier
for you to handle your disease.</end quote></div><br>
<br>
That would be a no for me. I don't need to believe in God to
handle my disease. That's great for people who do. I'm
surely not one of them.<br>
<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Yes, I have watched people with CF die also. But, it has
definitely not made me bitter (which is how some of you
sound).</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Okay...so because some of us have a different opinion, now we're
bitter... Okay, so this is how the game is played around
here. Nice to know.<br>
<br>
I would take Allie's advice about talking to your daughters, also.
If you try to downplay their disease, comparing her to
others, they will not be getting the support they need. We
all know there are people who have it worse, but it has nothing to
do with us and how we feel in a time of depression. My
parents have NEVER downplayed my illness or compared me to someone
else, in all the times we've talked about CF. Not once.
And I myself was quite grateful for that. When I'm down
and out, I don't need to be reminded of how bad everyone else might
have it. I need to have my feelings looked out for, as
well.<br>
<br>
Not telling you how to raise your kids, but that's my bit of
advice...
little miffed...<br>
<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i> Some are balking at
religion but maybe if you had faith in God it would make it easier
for you to handle your disease.</end quote></div><br>
<br>
That would be a no for me. I don't need to believe in God to
handle my disease. That's great for people who do. I'm
surely not one of them.<br>
<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Yes, I have watched people with CF die also. But, it has
definitely not made me bitter (which is how some of you
sound).</end quote></div><br>
<br>
Okay...so because some of us have a different opinion, now we're
bitter... Okay, so this is how the game is played around
here. Nice to know.<br>
<br>
I would take Allie's advice about talking to your daughters, also.
If you try to downplay their disease, comparing her to
others, they will not be getting the support they need. We
all know there are people who have it worse, but it has nothing to
do with us and how we feel in a time of depression. My
parents have NEVER downplayed my illness or compared me to someone
else, in all the times we've talked about CF. Not once.
And I myself was quite grateful for that. When I'm down
and out, I don't need to be reminded of how bad everyone else might
have it. I need to have my feelings looked out for, as
well.<br>
<br>
Not telling you how to raise your kids, but that's my bit of
advice...
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i>
This has got to be the saddest forum I have read!!
Some are balking at religion but maybe if you had faith in
God it would make it easier for you to handle your disease. Believing that there is a reason why things happen the way they do.
I have two girls with CF. Did I intentionally set out to get pregnant again - no -but
it did happen. When it did happen - the odds were in my favor 25% that she would have CF -- 75% that she would NOT!!! If someone told me, I had a 75% chance at winning the lottery I would be out there buying my ticket.
I do not regret one minute the decision I made to have my daughter. My girls are
so close and share a special bond that I cannot even explain. CF has made our
family closer than I could have ever imagined. I believe that this disease as bad
as it may be has taught our family the value of life and the beauty in each day.
Something that I didnt appreciate or value when I had my son.
Yes, I have watched people with CF die also. But, it has definitely not made me
bitter (which is how some of you sound). Life throws curves to everyone. CF just
happens to be ours.
If my daughters were to start whining about CF, I would remind them of other people who have to suffer with other diseases. I teach them about other kids who have other illnesses and explain the different symptoms so that they see that everyone has something to deal with.
You are right, I dont know what the future will hold but I know that whatever it is
we will be one family together who has incredible memories and a love & bond that will outlive death!!
Deb<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
Mom to Thomas (15 no CF)
Tara (13 w/CF)
Tina (10 w/CF)</end quote></div>
<b>WARNING!! THIS POST MENTIONS GOD SO BEWARE!!!</b>
<b>Deb--this post if for you.</b> I did not want to add any more to this thread but my heart goes out to you. I want to address some points you made.
<b>FOR ME,</b> God is the center of my life. Yes, living with cf my life has struggles, sufferings, crosses to bear, whatever you want to call them... much like everyone else does who is on this journey of life. Granted mine are different than others but does that make them anymore or less painful than theirs? Pain and suffering is pain and suffering whether it is physical or mental.
So how do I handle the difficult times? I trust that God, who I said is the center of my life, is always with me. That he has a purpose, whether I am aware of it or not, for why I go through each struggle. I know that he loves me beyond anything I can comprehend and I totally trust that He will bring good out of any situation when I remain faithful to Him. Now that doesn't mean things will turn out the way I want them to but again I am not in control, He is. God can see the bigger picture and my faith is in Him. Having faith has brought me so much peace and real joy, the kind that is not fleeting but that is constant in my life.
I have received so many blessings over the years that I do not at all get ticked off at having cf. I never will. God has put so many wonderful people in my life to help me on this journey, my parents, siblings, husband and children to name a few. My children have witnessed my disease and the progression of it their whole lives. When they look at their mom, they do not see a bitter woman. They see a woman who is at peace and finds joy is all she does, even through surgeries, hospitalizations, treatments, loss of lung function, etc... I do not focus on things I can't do because of having cf but rather keep busy doing things that I can and using my gifts and talents, that God has given me, to help others too along in their journey.
It is good to hear your love and commitment you have for your daughters. Your girls will flourish in it and they will grow to be strong women who feel valuable and worthy of this precious gift of life. They as you said will find beauty in each day. May they come to trust in the Lord and lean on him at all times. He will never fail them.
As you said Deb, no one knows what the future will hold but I sure as heck am not going to waste any precious time worrying about what will happen tomorrow when I have the gift of today to live. If you believe in eternal life after death than life on earth is fleeting whether you live a single year or a 100 years.
Enjoy that beautiful family of yours. Live in the moment and trust in God's incredible love for you. He will grace you and your family with whatever you need to get through the tough times and along the way you will have the incredible memories that you talked about and a love & bond that will, as you so aptly said, outlive death!
God Bless,
Almost 50 years old with cf
This has got to be the saddest forum I have read!!
Some are balking at religion but maybe if you had faith in
God it would make it easier for you to handle your disease. Believing that there is a reason why things happen the way they do.
I have two girls with CF. Did I intentionally set out to get pregnant again - no -but
it did happen. When it did happen - the odds were in my favor 25% that she would have CF -- 75% that she would NOT!!! If someone told me, I had a 75% chance at winning the lottery I would be out there buying my ticket.
I do not regret one minute the decision I made to have my daughter. My girls are
so close and share a special bond that I cannot even explain. CF has made our
family closer than I could have ever imagined. I believe that this disease as bad
as it may be has taught our family the value of life and the beauty in each day.
Something that I didnt appreciate or value when I had my son.
Yes, I have watched people with CF die also. But, it has definitely not made me
bitter (which is how some of you sound). Life throws curves to everyone. CF just
happens to be ours.
If my daughters were to start whining about CF, I would remind them of other people who have to suffer with other diseases. I teach them about other kids who have other illnesses and explain the different symptoms so that they see that everyone has something to deal with.
You are right, I dont know what the future will hold but I know that whatever it is
we will be one family together who has incredible memories and a love & bond that will outlive death!!
Deb<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
Mom to Thomas (15 no CF)
Tara (13 w/CF)
Tina (10 w/CF)</end quote></div>
<b>WARNING!! THIS POST MENTIONS GOD SO BEWARE!!!</b>
<b>Deb--this post if for you.</b> I did not want to add any more to this thread but my heart goes out to you. I want to address some points you made.
<b>FOR ME,</b> God is the center of my life. Yes, living with cf my life has struggles, sufferings, crosses to bear, whatever you want to call them... much like everyone else does who is on this journey of life. Granted mine are different than others but does that make them anymore or less painful than theirs? Pain and suffering is pain and suffering whether it is physical or mental.
So how do I handle the difficult times? I trust that God, who I said is the center of my life, is always with me. That he has a purpose, whether I am aware of it or not, for why I go through each struggle. I know that he loves me beyond anything I can comprehend and I totally trust that He will bring good out of any situation when I remain faithful to Him. Now that doesn't mean things will turn out the way I want them to but again I am not in control, He is. God can see the bigger picture and my faith is in Him. Having faith has brought me so much peace and real joy, the kind that is not fleeting but that is constant in my life.
I have received so many blessings over the years that I do not at all get ticked off at having cf. I never will. God has put so many wonderful people in my life to help me on this journey, my parents, siblings, husband and children to name a few. My children have witnessed my disease and the progression of it their whole lives. When they look at their mom, they do not see a bitter woman. They see a woman who is at peace and finds joy is all she does, even through surgeries, hospitalizations, treatments, loss of lung function, etc... I do not focus on things I can't do because of having cf but rather keep busy doing things that I can and using my gifts and talents, that God has given me, to help others too along in their journey.
It is good to hear your love and commitment you have for your daughters. Your girls will flourish in it and they will grow to be strong women who feel valuable and worthy of this precious gift of life. They as you said will find beauty in each day. May they come to trust in the Lord and lean on him at all times. He will never fail them.
As you said Deb, no one knows what the future will hold but I sure as heck am not going to waste any precious time worrying about what will happen tomorrow when I have the gift of today to live. If you believe in eternal life after death than life on earth is fleeting whether you live a single year or a 100 years.
Enjoy that beautiful family of yours. Live in the moment and trust in God's incredible love for you. He will grace you and your family with whatever you need to get through the tough times and along the way you will have the incredible memories that you talked about and a love & bond that will, as you so aptly said, outlive death!
God Bless,
Almost 50 years old with cf
I know many have seen this thread and thought, "Wow! These people are really out of control." That is not the case. We are simply having a discussion/debate. There is nothing wrong with that. People have different opinions and this is definitely the place to talk about them. However I do think that this thread has gone into an area that is quite dangerous... religion/faith.
That said, I would like to pose a question to the "faithful"...
If God is so loving then why would he allow Ry (and other CFers) to suffer and die young whilst allowing a bunch of evil people (i.e. those that cause suffering) to live here on earth? I don't expect you to answer this question because quite frankly I don't want to hear your God works in mysterious ways arguement. That's not an arguement. It's just something you tell yourself to get through the day. I believe in God but I don't think he/she has anything to do with CF, poverty, tsunami's, or Jeff Gordon winning a friggin' NASCAR race.
That said, we do have an area for religious postings.
Peace out.
That said, I would like to pose a question to the "faithful"...
If God is so loving then why would he allow Ry (and other CFers) to suffer and die young whilst allowing a bunch of evil people (i.e. those that cause suffering) to live here on earth? I don't expect you to answer this question because quite frankly I don't want to hear your God works in mysterious ways arguement. That's not an arguement. It's just something you tell yourself to get through the day. I believe in God but I don't think he/she has anything to do with CF, poverty, tsunami's, or Jeff Gordon winning a friggin' NASCAR race.
That said, we do have an area for religious postings.
Peace out.
coltsfan715
New member
Ok I know I said I wouldn't post again but ...
ROFLMAO ....
What kind of God WOULD allow mullets to exist? LOL Oh dear..
Thank you for the laugh
Mullets. ... I guess I have seen funnier things I just can't think of many.
Lindsey
ROFLMAO ....
What kind of God WOULD allow mullets to exist? LOL Oh dear..
Thank you for the laugh
Mullets. ... I guess I have seen funnier things I just can't think of many.
Lindsey
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i>
I have two girls with CF. Did I intentionally set out to get pregnant again - no -but
it did happen. When it did happen - the odds were in my favor 25% that she would have CF -- 75% that she would NOT!!! If someone told me, I had a 75% chance at winning the lottery I would be out there buying my ticket.</end quote></div>
This is why the two side will never agree. I put a much larger value on life than a dollar lottery ticket. If you had to pay 100million dollars to get the ticket, would you take a 25% chance of loosing it?
I have two girls with CF. Did I intentionally set out to get pregnant again - no -but
it did happen. When it did happen - the odds were in my favor 25% that she would have CF -- 75% that she would NOT!!! If someone told me, I had a 75% chance at winning the lottery I would be out there buying my ticket.</end quote></div>
This is why the two side will never agree. I put a much larger value on life than a dollar lottery ticket. If you had to pay 100million dollars to get the ticket, would you take a 25% chance of loosing it?
thelizardqueen
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i>
maybe if you had faith in God it would make it easier for you to handle your disease.
<i>This comment made me upset. Are you saying that if I were to believe in God than life would be oh so much more easier for me and CF would be so much easier to handle? I highly doubt it. This is a terrible disease and hard to handle whether God is involved or not. Don't push God down my throat. Its good that you believe this statement, but I do not.</i>
If my daughters were to start whining about CF, I would remind them of other people who have to suffer with other diseases. I teach them about other kids who have other illnesses and explain the different symptoms so that they see that everyone has something to deal with.
<i>Not everyone has a disease to suffer with. I've seen plently of people go through life without anything to worry about, health wise or other wise. And you can't even compare CF to another disease - its like comparing apples to oranges. Are you saying that you don't allow your children to complain about how hard CF is? I believe its within their right to complain about the disease that will kill them prematuraley and not have to compare it to some other condition that may not end their life.</i></end quote></div>
maybe if you had faith in God it would make it easier for you to handle your disease.
<i>This comment made me upset. Are you saying that if I were to believe in God than life would be oh so much more easier for me and CF would be so much easier to handle? I highly doubt it. This is a terrible disease and hard to handle whether God is involved or not. Don't push God down my throat. Its good that you believe this statement, but I do not.</i>
If my daughters were to start whining about CF, I would remind them of other people who have to suffer with other diseases. I teach them about other kids who have other illnesses and explain the different symptoms so that they see that everyone has something to deal with.
<i>Not everyone has a disease to suffer with. I've seen plently of people go through life without anything to worry about, health wise or other wise. And you can't even compare CF to another disease - its like comparing apples to oranges. Are you saying that you don't allow your children to complain about how hard CF is? I believe its within their right to complain about the disease that will kill them prematuraley and not have to compare it to some other condition that may not end their life.</i></end quote></div>
Scarlett81
New member
I really don't think this should start going into God or religion-
But just to show how different we all think, I"ve been thinking the SAME exact thoughts, while I've been following this thread, that Deb posted and then the 50yr old ANON reiterated. So some including me do think that way, especially when it comes to the issue of children and having children. It's very much a spiritual decision. Maybe more so for some, including myself. For others, its their own reason.
Everyone does or doesnt decide to have kids for their own personal reason. I think with the issue of family most people carry in their own heart a desire or feeling on it that tells them what to do. The reasons are varying as our own DNA!
Which is why I feel that no blanket statements should be made and there is no right or wrong, or moral issue, or 'not thinking' even.
I've stayed silent during this thread on the fact that, my cousin had a child with Cf 10 yrs ago, then had another- no Cf, and just gave birth to another a few months ago and it is still undetermined wether it has it or not. I'm not even going to state how I feel about it b/c I don't know. I'm not her or her husband. I don't know how it feels to have a kid with it, or even how it feels to be a mom yet.
I do know a few things. They love their children so very deeply. They've had HARD times with their Cf daughter, so they've been given a real dose of the, lets say ugly face of it. She's a sick little girl. Alot worse than me. I also know that when they decided to have the 2nd kid then the 3rd, they got alot of grief from it from their families. That more than anything caused pain in the family, division, and anger. And that's not the way either.
I don't think I would choose to have kids under that circumstance. Esp after one being so sick, like my little cousin. But I'm not going to judge them either. I just don't think its right to assume that parents are being selfish when they choose to take the chance.
That's just how I feel. Maybe it goes against the "grain" here, but that's it.
But just to show how different we all think, I"ve been thinking the SAME exact thoughts, while I've been following this thread, that Deb posted and then the 50yr old ANON reiterated. So some including me do think that way, especially when it comes to the issue of children and having children. It's very much a spiritual decision. Maybe more so for some, including myself. For others, its their own reason.
Everyone does or doesnt decide to have kids for their own personal reason. I think with the issue of family most people carry in their own heart a desire or feeling on it that tells them what to do. The reasons are varying as our own DNA!
Which is why I feel that no blanket statements should be made and there is no right or wrong, or moral issue, or 'not thinking' even.
I've stayed silent during this thread on the fact that, my cousin had a child with Cf 10 yrs ago, then had another- no Cf, and just gave birth to another a few months ago and it is still undetermined wether it has it or not. I'm not even going to state how I feel about it b/c I don't know. I'm not her or her husband. I don't know how it feels to have a kid with it, or even how it feels to be a mom yet.
I do know a few things. They love their children so very deeply. They've had HARD times with their Cf daughter, so they've been given a real dose of the, lets say ugly face of it. She's a sick little girl. Alot worse than me. I also know that when they decided to have the 2nd kid then the 3rd, they got alot of grief from it from their families. That more than anything caused pain in the family, division, and anger. And that's not the way either.
I don't think I would choose to have kids under that circumstance. Esp after one being so sick, like my little cousin. But I'm not going to judge them either. I just don't think its right to assume that parents are being selfish when they choose to take the chance.
That's just how I feel. Maybe it goes against the "grain" here, but that's it.
lightNlife
New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>thelizardqueen</b></i>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i> maybe if you had faith
in God it would make it easier for you to handle your disease.<br>
<br>
This reminded me of a few lines from that movie "As Good as It
Gets". Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) asks Simon (Greg Kinnear)
about whether Simon thinks his life is hard because of his
homosexual lifestyle.<br>
<br>
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000197/"><b>Melvin
Udall</b></a>: I mean, wouldn't your life be easier if you
weren't...<br>
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001427/"><b>Simon
Bishop</b></a>: You consider your life easy?<br>
[<i class="fine">pause</i>]<br>
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000197/"><b>Melvin
Udall</b></a>: All right, I give you that one.<br>
<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Debra</b></i> maybe if you had faith
in God it would make it easier for you to handle your disease.<br>
<br>
This reminded me of a few lines from that movie "As Good as It
Gets". Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) asks Simon (Greg Kinnear)
about whether Simon thinks his life is hard because of his
homosexual lifestyle.<br>
<br>
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000197/"><b>Melvin
Udall</b></a>: I mean, wouldn't your life be easier if you
weren't...<br>
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001427/"><b>Simon
Bishop</b></a>: You consider your life easy?<br>
[<i class="fine">pause</i>]<br>
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000197/"><b>Melvin
Udall</b></a>: All right, I give you that one.<br>
<br>
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>This is why the two side will never agree. I put a much larger value on life than a dollar lottery ticket. If you had to pay 100million dollars to get the ticket, would you take a 25% chance of loosing it? </end quote></div>
Agreed. If you don't win the lottery, no harm, no foul. If your kid has CF, you've just given them a a 50% chance of dying before 36. (that's what the median age means, yes, 50% of people die before that)
As far saying you don't judge, people judge everyday. Saying murder is wrong is a judgement call. This is just another one we make. Honestly, and this is just MY if I see parents of a CFer decide to have another one, my first thought is that they don't care about what thier kid has to go through. They don't care about the cross contamination between siblings. They don't care about the fact that one of the siblings will have to watch the other die, knowing that they are next.
Agreed. If you don't win the lottery, no harm, no foul. If your kid has CF, you've just given them a a 50% chance of dying before 36. (that's what the median age means, yes, 50% of people die before that)
As far saying you don't judge, people judge everyday. Saying murder is wrong is a judgement call. This is just another one we make. Honestly, and this is just MY if I see parents of a CFer decide to have another one, my first thought is that they don't care about what thier kid has to go through. They don't care about the cross contamination between siblings. They don't care about the fact that one of the siblings will have to watch the other die, knowing that they are next.
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>anonymous</b></i> I won't have kids
because there is a chance it will be a dumb@#$.</end quote></div><br>
<br>
So you're afraid it will take after you huh. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
because there is a chance it will be a dumb@#$.</end quote></div><br>
<br>
So you're afraid it will take after you huh. <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0">
Scarlett81
New member
Allie, to respond to what you just said, I think that in this particular case I'm not judging. Yes people judge every day. However, I feel that, and again its just my opinion, that comparing having a Cf child (obviously under the circumstances we're talking about here), can not (or should not?) be compared to judging a murderer.
I don't want to sound like I"m telling anyone what to do or say, esp you b/c I admire you very much Allie. But, to me its not a great analogy.
People do judge, people do steal, people do lie-it doesn't mean they always should. There's a difference.
Of course people judge parents (no matter what the issue, health-like this, parenting style, rules, what they permit, what they allow their kids to eat...), b/c we as a human race are judgmental and backbiting and not far off from a pack of hyenas.<img src="i/expressions/devil.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I'm just saying I don't think its right to do so in this instance. That's all.
As far as not having kids b/c I'm afraid they'll be dumb! lol. Good one. I'm more afraid of messing my kids up the way my parents messed me up! I'll keep my fingers crossed!
I don't want to sound like I"m telling anyone what to do or say, esp you b/c I admire you very much Allie. But, to me its not a great analogy.
People do judge, people do steal, people do lie-it doesn't mean they always should. There's a difference.
Of course people judge parents (no matter what the issue, health-like this, parenting style, rules, what they permit, what they allow their kids to eat...), b/c we as a human race are judgmental and backbiting and not far off from a pack of hyenas.<img src="i/expressions/devil.gif" border="0"><img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-smile.gif" border="0">
I'm just saying I don't think its right to do so in this instance. That's all.
As far as not having kids b/c I'm afraid they'll be dumb! lol. Good one. I'm more afraid of messing my kids up the way my parents messed me up! I'll keep my fingers crossed!
I care. I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child about two months ago. This was not planned and is definitly a surprise. These fears and thoughts plague me every minute of the day. I am scared that this baby will also have CF, I don't know how to feel. The selfish part of me is happy that I'm going to have another baby, we wanted to have three until our son was diagnosed. I'm scared that all the nightmares mentioned on this thread will come through. Will I beat myself up with guilt if this baby has CF? AAAGGGHHHH!!
<i>"Allie, to respond to what you just said, I think that in this particular case I'm not judging. Yes people judge every day. However, I feel that, and again its just my opinion, that comparing having a Cf child (obviously under the circumstances we're talking about here), can not (or should not?) be compared to judging a murderer."</i>
She didn't compare having another child with CF murder. She was just refuting the statement about making judgements and explaining saying murder is wrong is making a judgment.....I hope that made sense and I'm not just confusing myself and everyone else.
She didn't compare having another child with CF murder. She was just refuting the statement about making judgements and explaining saying murder is wrong is making a judgment.....I hope that made sense and I'm not just confusing myself and everyone else.