Teacher 'outed' my daughter!

W

welshgirl

New member
this is our experience<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0"> joe was dx aged 6 yrs after contracting pnuemonia. i told his headmistress joe would be off school for a couple of weeks.
in assembly she told the whole school ( albeit a small school). some of joe's friends told their parents and the parents obviously looked up the illness somewhere in all its glory!!!!
when joe returned to school he was told " your gonna die".he was 6 yrs old<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
well! strangely after that he's not to keen to let people know. !!!!!!!!!!!!
thats his decision and we go along with it. IT IS OUR RIGHT AS HIS PARENTS.
we are very open as a family and joe knows ALL he needs to know.
 
W

welshgirl

New member
this is our experience<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-frown.gif" border="0"> joe was dx aged 6 yrs after contracting pnuemonia. i told his headmistress joe would be off school for a couple of weeks.
in assembly she told the whole school ( albeit a small school). some of joe's friends told their parents and the parents obviously looked up the illness somewhere in all its glory!!!!
when joe returned to school he was told " your gonna die".he was 6 yrs old<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-sad.gif" border="0">
well! strangely after that he's not to keen to let people know. !!!!!!!!!!!!
thats his decision and we go along with it. IT IS OUR RIGHT AS HIS PARENTS.
we are very open as a family and joe knows ALL he needs to know.
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
In terms of when to tell a partner or friend, for me, it was done on an individual basis depending on my comfort level. I've had boyfriends who never knew for years and others who knew within 3 weeks. Same with friends. As a child I had a mild case of CF so with the exception of a little cough I could hide it. Now I'm older and I can't, plus I'm more mature and ready to be true to myself. As a teenager I wasn't ready and so keeping it private was what I needed to do. I think it all depends on the people involved and their comfort level. Some people want to shout it out to the world, others like me, wanted to be more prudent and discreet. Again, it's all very personal...no right or wrong.
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
In terms of when to tell a partner or friend, for me, it was done on an individual basis depending on my comfort level. I've had boyfriends who never knew for years and others who knew within 3 weeks. Same with friends. As a child I had a mild case of CF so with the exception of a little cough I could hide it. Now I'm older and I can't, plus I'm more mature and ready to be true to myself. As a teenager I wasn't ready and so keeping it private was what I needed to do. I think it all depends on the people involved and their comfort level. Some people want to shout it out to the world, others like me, wanted to be more prudent and discreet. Again, it's all very personal...no right or wrong.
 
S

Shoshanna

Guest
In terms of when to tell a partner or friend, for me, it was done on an individual basis depending on my comfort level. I've had boyfriends who never knew for years and others who knew within 3 weeks. Same with friends. As a child I had a mild case of CF so with the exception of a little cough I could hide it. Now I'm older and I can't, plus I'm more mature and ready to be true to myself. As a teenager I wasn't ready and so keeping it private was what I needed to do. I think it all depends on the people involved and their comfort level. Some people want to shout it out to the world, others like me, wanted to be more prudent and discreet. Again, it's all very personal...no right or wrong.
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>welshgirl</b></i>

this is our experience
joe was dx aged 6 yrs after contracting pnuemonia. i told his headmistress joe would be off school for a couple of weeks.

in assembly she told the whole school ( albeit a small school). some of joe's friends told their parents and the parents obviously looked up the illness somewhere in all its glory!!!!

when joe returned to school he was told " your gonna die".he was 6 yrs old


well! strangely after that he's not to keen to let people know. !!!!!!!!!!!!

thats his decision and we go along with it. IT IS OUR RIGHT AS HIS PARENTS.

we are very open as a family and joe knows ALL he needs to know.</end quote></div>

What a terrible experience, but not uncommon I believe with the web and all. I think that's the main reason why it is important for you to be the one to "out" your kid or yourself . The diagnosis does have a way of becoming public no matter what eventually.

If you are the one to make it so then you can frame the illness in whatever way you see as most constructive at the time. You can frame it as living with an illness rather than dying from it. Every person's experience with the illness is so unique and there is so much outdated information on the web. In the best of all possible worlds (and in a small school and town) it is sometimes possible to be able to talk with teachers and other parents and let them know the dx, its present impact on your child, and your wishes as to how it be handled. But you need to proactive or it just comes out without your guidance and care.
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>welshgirl</b></i>

this is our experience
joe was dx aged 6 yrs after contracting pnuemonia. i told his headmistress joe would be off school for a couple of weeks.

in assembly she told the whole school ( albeit a small school). some of joe's friends told their parents and the parents obviously looked up the illness somewhere in all its glory!!!!

when joe returned to school he was told " your gonna die".he was 6 yrs old


well! strangely after that he's not to keen to let people know. !!!!!!!!!!!!

thats his decision and we go along with it. IT IS OUR RIGHT AS HIS PARENTS.

we are very open as a family and joe knows ALL he needs to know.</end quote></div>

What a terrible experience, but not uncommon I believe with the web and all. I think that's the main reason why it is important for you to be the one to "out" your kid or yourself . The diagnosis does have a way of becoming public no matter what eventually.

If you are the one to make it so then you can frame the illness in whatever way you see as most constructive at the time. You can frame it as living with an illness rather than dying from it. Every person's experience with the illness is so unique and there is so much outdated information on the web. In the best of all possible worlds (and in a small school and town) it is sometimes possible to be able to talk with teachers and other parents and let them know the dx, its present impact on your child, and your wishes as to how it be handled. But you need to proactive or it just comes out without your guidance and care.
 
L

LisaV

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>welshgirl</b></i>

this is our experience
joe was dx aged 6 yrs after contracting pnuemonia. i told his headmistress joe would be off school for a couple of weeks.

in assembly she told the whole school ( albeit a small school). some of joe's friends told their parents and the parents obviously looked up the illness somewhere in all its glory!!!!

when joe returned to school he was told " your gonna die".he was 6 yrs old


well! strangely after that he's not to keen to let people know. !!!!!!!!!!!!

thats his decision and we go along with it. IT IS OUR RIGHT AS HIS PARENTS.

we are very open as a family and joe knows ALL he needs to know.</end quote></div>

What a terrible experience, but not uncommon I believe with the web and all. I think that's the main reason why it is important for you to be the one to "out" your kid or yourself . The diagnosis does have a way of becoming public no matter what eventually.

If you are the one to make it so then you can frame the illness in whatever way you see as most constructive at the time. You can frame it as living with an illness rather than dying from it. Every person's experience with the illness is so unique and there is so much outdated information on the web. In the best of all possible worlds (and in a small school and town) it is sometimes possible to be able to talk with teachers and other parents and let them know the dx, its present impact on your child, and your wishes as to how it be handled. But you need to proactive or it just comes out without your guidance and care.
 
P

PACmommy

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>. I thought I was a perfect parent too when all I had was one child and he was 2 or 3 years old... heck, where's the challenge in that? </end quote></div>

I personally think this is a little rude, my children are young and I believe anybody with an experience in CF is entitled to an opinion and has had a challenge. People who tend to have older children disregard as wellas forget the challenges that younger children who rely on you for literally everything from taking enzymes to wiping thier butt can be physically and emotionally draining.
Let's uplift eachother and support eachother rather than diminishing eachother's experiences.
 
P

PACmommy

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>. I thought I was a perfect parent too when all I had was one child and he was 2 or 3 years old... heck, where's the challenge in that? </end quote></div>

I personally think this is a little rude, my children are young and I believe anybody with an experience in CF is entitled to an opinion and has had a challenge. People who tend to have older children disregard as wellas forget the challenges that younger children who rely on you for literally everything from taking enzymes to wiping thier butt can be physically and emotionally draining.
Let's uplift eachother and support eachother rather than diminishing eachother's experiences.
 
P

PACmommy

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>. I thought I was a perfect parent too when all I had was one child and he was 2 or 3 years old... heck, where's the challenge in that? </end quote></div>

I personally think this is a little rude, my children are young and I believe anybody with an experience in CF is entitled to an opinion and has had a challenge. People who tend to have older children disregard as wellas forget the challenges that younger children who rely on you for literally everything from taking enzymes to wiping thier butt can be physically and emotionally draining.
Let's uplift eachother and support eachother rather than diminishing eachother's experiences.
 
E

EmilysMom

New member
I have to say I agree with Scarlett81. Bringing the Hippa law into it will only bring more attention to your daughter and if that's what you (or she) is trying to avoid, you are going about that the wrong way. If your daughter is comfortable with it, have her discuss her CF with the class so they understand it better. Make them more aware of what she is dealing with.....let them ask questions and next time she is out, there won't be any questions as to where she is or why she is out. No harm can come from teaching the other kids about CF.
Emily was always outspoken (really...my Emily??) about CF and tried to tell everyone about it...whether they wanted to know or not. Every school in town that she went through knew what CF was by the time she was done at that school. Actually she has made it easier for the next kids that are in school now who have CF. There are two in our system that have CF and most of the teachers know what they are dealing with because of having had Emily years before. Their parents were pleasantly surprised when told that they had a previous student with CF so they knew some about it but needed to be updated.
I have rambled on long enough now, but back to the original thought of letting the anger go and having her talk to her fellow students and answer their questions about CF.
 
E

EmilysMom

New member
I have to say I agree with Scarlett81. Bringing the Hippa law into it will only bring more attention to your daughter and if that's what you (or she) is trying to avoid, you are going about that the wrong way. If your daughter is comfortable with it, have her discuss her CF with the class so they understand it better. Make them more aware of what she is dealing with.....let them ask questions and next time she is out, there won't be any questions as to where she is or why she is out. No harm can come from teaching the other kids about CF.
Emily was always outspoken (really...my Emily??) about CF and tried to tell everyone about it...whether they wanted to know or not. Every school in town that she went through knew what CF was by the time she was done at that school. Actually she has made it easier for the next kids that are in school now who have CF. There are two in our system that have CF and most of the teachers know what they are dealing with because of having had Emily years before. Their parents were pleasantly surprised when told that they had a previous student with CF so they knew some about it but needed to be updated.
I have rambled on long enough now, but back to the original thought of letting the anger go and having her talk to her fellow students and answer their questions about CF.
 
E

EmilysMom

New member
I have to say I agree with Scarlett81. Bringing the Hippa law into it will only bring more attention to your daughter and if that's what you (or she) is trying to avoid, you are going about that the wrong way. If your daughter is comfortable with it, have her discuss her CF with the class so they understand it better. Make them more aware of what she is dealing with.....let them ask questions and next time she is out, there won't be any questions as to where she is or why she is out. No harm can come from teaching the other kids about CF.
Emily was always outspoken (really...my Emily??) about CF and tried to tell everyone about it...whether they wanted to know or not. Every school in town that she went through knew what CF was by the time she was done at that school. Actually she has made it easier for the next kids that are in school now who have CF. There are two in our system that have CF and most of the teachers know what they are dealing with because of having had Emily years before. Their parents were pleasantly surprised when told that they had a previous student with CF so they knew some about it but needed to be updated.
I have rambled on long enough now, but back to the original thought of letting the anger go and having her talk to her fellow students and answer their questions about CF.
 
L

Liza

New member
I just want to say that I agree with being angry with the teacher who had no right to tell the class. I too would have been livid. It is the <b>childs</b> choice to choose who to tell, especially at this age. We never kept it a secret that our girls have CF but never thought about making an announcement to each class each year either. We spoke to the new teacher every year in elementary school, let them know about CF and gave them the pamplet. We as parents told their best friends parents. (Of course that didn't keep them from telling other parents.) The teacher should have asked if she could tell the class in detail why your daughter was in the hospital. The fact is that teacher's are not supposed to discuss students issues with anyone unless given permission by the parent. Anna was hospitalized during third grade one year but didn't like telling everyone she has CF. We let her decide which kids she wanted to tell. The teacher asked what she could tell the class because she wanted them to make her get well cards. She simply told them that Anna was in the hospital and getting antibiotics through an IV. These are delicate years and if she didn't want every one and their brother to know that she has CF, for what ever reason, then that is <b>her right</b>. It doesn't matter whether she is or isn't embarrassed about having CF. Would we announce that little Suzi is out of class for a few days because she got her first period and has terrible cramps? It's a privacy issue plain and simple. At this point though there really isn't anything that can be done. I though, would ask my daughter... do you want me to talk to the principal about this? What else could this teacher be discussing about students? Maybe she needs to reminded about student privacy, whether it's about health issues, learning issues, or test scores.
 
L

Liza

New member
I just want to say that I agree with being angry with the teacher who had no right to tell the class. I too would have been livid. It is the <b>childs</b> choice to choose who to tell, especially at this age. We never kept it a secret that our girls have CF but never thought about making an announcement to each class each year either. We spoke to the new teacher every year in elementary school, let them know about CF and gave them the pamplet. We as parents told their best friends parents. (Of course that didn't keep them from telling other parents.) The teacher should have asked if she could tell the class in detail why your daughter was in the hospital. The fact is that teacher's are not supposed to discuss students issues with anyone unless given permission by the parent. Anna was hospitalized during third grade one year but didn't like telling everyone she has CF. We let her decide which kids she wanted to tell. The teacher asked what she could tell the class because she wanted them to make her get well cards. She simply told them that Anna was in the hospital and getting antibiotics through an IV. These are delicate years and if she didn't want every one and their brother to know that she has CF, for what ever reason, then that is <b>her right</b>. It doesn't matter whether she is or isn't embarrassed about having CF. Would we announce that little Suzi is out of class for a few days because she got her first period and has terrible cramps? It's a privacy issue plain and simple. At this point though there really isn't anything that can be done. I though, would ask my daughter... do you want me to talk to the principal about this? What else could this teacher be discussing about students? Maybe she needs to reminded about student privacy, whether it's about health issues, learning issues, or test scores.
 
L

Liza

New member
I just want to say that I agree with being angry with the teacher who had no right to tell the class. I too would have been livid. It is the <b>childs</b> choice to choose who to tell, especially at this age. We never kept it a secret that our girls have CF but never thought about making an announcement to each class each year either. We spoke to the new teacher every year in elementary school, let them know about CF and gave them the pamplet. We as parents told their best friends parents. (Of course that didn't keep them from telling other parents.) The teacher should have asked if she could tell the class in detail why your daughter was in the hospital. The fact is that teacher's are not supposed to discuss students issues with anyone unless given permission by the parent. Anna was hospitalized during third grade one year but didn't like telling everyone she has CF. We let her decide which kids she wanted to tell. The teacher asked what she could tell the class because she wanted them to make her get well cards. She simply told them that Anna was in the hospital and getting antibiotics through an IV. These are delicate years and if she didn't want every one and their brother to know that she has CF, for what ever reason, then that is <b>her right</b>. It doesn't matter whether she is or isn't embarrassed about having CF. Would we announce that little Suzi is out of class for a few days because she got her first period and has terrible cramps? It's a privacy issue plain and simple. At this point though there really isn't anything that can be done. I though, would ask my daughter... do you want me to talk to the principal about this? What else could this teacher be discussing about students? Maybe she needs to reminded about student privacy, whether it's about health issues, learning issues, or test scores.
 
R

robert321

New member
when i was diagnosed in 8th grade, my band teacher told the band, that didn't bother me b/c i was telling everyone who called me anyway asking why i wasn't at school, but that is illegal and i think you should go talk to the school principle or write a letter to the school board if you are offended by this, and to let another student give a report about it, that would tick me off, sounds like they're treating her like a science expirement instead of a student! That isn't right, if your daughter wants to tell about her cf thats one thing but the teacher letting another student give a report on her, thats just not right.
 
R

robert321

New member
when i was diagnosed in 8th grade, my band teacher told the band, that didn't bother me b/c i was telling everyone who called me anyway asking why i wasn't at school, but that is illegal and i think you should go talk to the school principle or write a letter to the school board if you are offended by this, and to let another student give a report about it, that would tick me off, sounds like they're treating her like a science expirement instead of a student! That isn't right, if your daughter wants to tell about her cf thats one thing but the teacher letting another student give a report on her, thats just not right.
 
R

robert321

New member
when i was diagnosed in 8th grade, my band teacher told the band, that didn't bother me b/c i was telling everyone who called me anyway asking why i wasn't at school, but that is illegal and i think you should go talk to the school principle or write a letter to the school board if you are offended by this, and to let another student give a report about it, that would tick me off, sounds like they're treating her like a science expirement instead of a student! That isn't right, if your daughter wants to tell about her cf thats one thing but the teacher letting another student give a report on her, thats just not right.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top