Teacher 'outed' my daughter!

[2perfectboys]

I don't see anything "obscene" about it, prehaps the teacher could have asked first if it was okay to tell the class, but she probably did not realize how much your daughter is embarrassed about her CF, as u stated, she did not want u to do anything, because "it would embarrass her more".....

Unless all of her friends, go to a different school, then I would say there are a lot of people that know she had CF. WOuld u rather the teacher not said anything, and the kids wondering if she was at the hospital having a baby or locked up in Juvenile detention for something obscene.

I believe CF does make u different, she is different because of her CF. Most healthy kids don't go to the hospital. But that does not mean she has to be treated differently and her classmate probably was worried about her just as they would be anyother child that was in the hospital for whatever reason. CF is a part of people, but don't define who they are.

Lori

 

[janddburke]

Thanks to all for your feedback.

she's not usually embarassed by it. she's used to it.

the problem was what was reported back to the class. You all know, when you look up CF who knows where, it sounds really really bad.

the kids in her class, her friends, all know her and all of a sudden they thought she was going to die.

 

[janddburke]

Thanks to all for your feedback.

she's not usually embarassed by it. she's used to it.

the problem was what was reported back to the class. You all know, when you look up CF who knows where, it sounds really really bad.

the kids in her class, her friends, all know her and all of a sudden they thought she was going to die.

 

[janddburke]

Thanks to all for your feedback.

she's not usually embarassed by it. she's used to it.

the problem was what was reported back to the class. You all know, when you look up CF who knows where, it sounds really really bad.

the kids in her class, her friends, all know her and all of a sudden they thought she was going to die.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>mom2lillian</b></i>

We took the pro-active approcah with my friends daughter she got to stand up in front of the class and tell what she wanted to about her disease and explain things how she wanted to. Now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak perhaps she can tell what she wants to tell so as to clarify the situation and make it 'cool' if thats possible.</end quote></div>


That's exactly what I did.

I have great oral presentation skills now because I did a pres in front of my class every year from age 6 about CF.

It wasn't a big deal. I wasn't different. In fact, I was cool... I had a nebulizer. No one else had one.... but I got to have one. And it was cool.

It's all in how you sell it....

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>mom2lillian</b></i>

We took the pro-active approcah with my friends daughter she got to stand up in front of the class and tell what she wanted to about her disease and explain things how she wanted to. Now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak perhaps she can tell what she wants to tell so as to clarify the situation and make it 'cool' if thats possible.</end quote></div>


That's exactly what I did.

I have great oral presentation skills now because I did a pres in front of my class every year from age 6 about CF.

It wasn't a big deal. I wasn't different. In fact, I was cool... I had a nebulizer. No one else had one.... but I got to have one. And it was cool.

It's all in how you sell it....

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>mom2lillian</b></i>

We took the pro-active approcah with my friends daughter she got to stand up in front of the class and tell what she wanted to about her disease and explain things how she wanted to. Now that the cat is out of the bag so to speak perhaps she can tell what she wants to tell so as to clarify the situation and make it 'cool' if thats possible.</end quote></div>


That's exactly what I did.

I have great oral presentation skills now because I did a pres in front of my class every year from age 6 about CF.

It wasn't a big deal. I wasn't different. In fact, I was cool... I had a nebulizer. No one else had one.... but I got to have one. And it was cool.

It's all in how you sell it....

 

[Emily65Roses]

I'm with Amy (sakasuka). Everyone in school always knew I had CF. No big deal. No one treated me different. They all knew, but they knew from day one, so it was nothing anyone really paid attention to. It was just something they knew about me, like I have brown hair and blue eyes. Same idea.

It may have been against privacy laws for her to do that, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, because as she already said, it'll embarrass her. On top of that, now the kids know. No real harm done. If she's afraid of them being weird about it, suggest she stand in front of the class herself and talk about it. People take the cue from the CFer (or the parents) on how to act about it. I was always open and matter of fact about it, so no one made a huge deal about it. They came to me with questions if they had them, and then invited me out to play like I was anyone else.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I'm with Amy (sakasuka). Everyone in school always knew I had CF. No big deal. No one treated me different. They all knew, but they knew from day one, so it was nothing anyone really paid attention to. It was just something they knew about me, like I have brown hair and blue eyes. Same idea.

It may have been against privacy laws for her to do that, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, because as she already said, it'll embarrass her. On top of that, now the kids know. No real harm done. If she's afraid of them being weird about it, suggest she stand in front of the class herself and talk about it. People take the cue from the CFer (or the parents) on how to act about it. I was always open and matter of fact about it, so no one made a huge deal about it. They came to me with questions if they had them, and then invited me out to play like I was anyone else.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I'm with Amy (sakasuka). Everyone in school always knew I had CF. No big deal. No one treated me different. They all knew, but they knew from day one, so it was nothing anyone really paid attention to. It was just something they knew about me, like I have brown hair and blue eyes. Same idea.

It may have been against privacy laws for her to do that, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, because as she already said, it'll embarrass her. On top of that, now the kids know. No real harm done. If she's afraid of them being weird about it, suggest she stand in front of the class herself and talk about it. People take the cue from the CFer (or the parents) on how to act about it. I was always open and matter of fact about it, so no one made a huge deal about it. They came to me with questions if they had them, and then invited me out to play like I was anyone else.

 

[blindhearted]

I understand how she and you could be upset. CF is a personal thing and she should be able to tell who she wants when she wants. My personal opinion is the teacher did not have the right to tell everyone. It should have been left at "she is in the hospital". When your daughter returned and kids asked question, then she could tell them if she wanted. Just because you dont go around broadcasting CF doesnt mean you are ashamed of it or hiding it. I have never hid or been ashamed of my CF. Everyone knew about it when I was growing up. More than one time I became a "class project" while out sick, even in high school. Which in all honestly makes you feel a little crappy. A person should be able to tell who they want, when they want. That should be one thing we have control over when dealing with CF. Since the cat is out of the bag, there isnt much you can do now. You might be able to look into the HIPPA thing on the teacher and maybe get something done, but I doubt it. As far as parenting is concern, even if you dont make your child feel different and tell her she isnt different, most children will blow that right out of the water. A lot will point out that you are different (as far as they are concern) and treat you as such. Kids can be cruel. And at school age from 12 to 17...it matters (to most) how you are seen by your peers, especially since you have to see them everyday. As bad as it is to say it, CF can make you a target among you peers reguardless if you hide it or its common knowledge. Hopefully most of the kids will forget and move on from this. If not, give your daughter love and support (which it seems you already do) and help her handle this the best way possible. Good luck.

 

[blindhearted]

I understand how she and you could be upset. CF is a personal thing and she should be able to tell who she wants when she wants. My personal opinion is the teacher did not have the right to tell everyone. It should have been left at "she is in the hospital". When your daughter returned and kids asked question, then she could tell them if she wanted. Just because you dont go around broadcasting CF doesnt mean you are ashamed of it or hiding it. I have never hid or been ashamed of my CF. Everyone knew about it when I was growing up. More than one time I became a "class project" while out sick, even in high school. Which in all honestly makes you feel a little crappy. A person should be able to tell who they want, when they want. That should be one thing we have control over when dealing with CF. Since the cat is out of the bag, there isnt much you can do now. You might be able to look into the HIPPA thing on the teacher and maybe get something done, but I doubt it. As far as parenting is concern, even if you dont make your child feel different and tell her she isnt different, most children will blow that right out of the water. A lot will point out that you are different (as far as they are concern) and treat you as such. Kids can be cruel. And at school age from 12 to 17...it matters (to most) how you are seen by your peers, especially since you have to see them everyday. As bad as it is to say it, CF can make you a target among you peers reguardless if you hide it or its common knowledge. Hopefully most of the kids will forget and move on from this. If not, give your daughter love and support (which it seems you already do) and help her handle this the best way possible. Good luck.

 

[blindhearted]

I understand how she and you could be upset. CF is a personal thing and she should be able to tell who she wants when she wants. My personal opinion is the teacher did not have the right to tell everyone. It should have been left at "she is in the hospital". When your daughter returned and kids asked question, then she could tell them if she wanted. Just because you dont go around broadcasting CF doesnt mean you are ashamed of it or hiding it. I have never hid or been ashamed of my CF. Everyone knew about it when I was growing up. More than one time I became a "class project" while out sick, even in high school. Which in all honestly makes you feel a little crappy. A person should be able to tell who they want, when they want. That should be one thing we have control over when dealing with CF. Since the cat is out of the bag, there isnt much you can do now. You might be able to look into the HIPPA thing on the teacher and maybe get something done, but I doubt it. As far as parenting is concern, even if you dont make your child feel different and tell her she isnt different, most children will blow that right out of the water. A lot will point out that you are different (as far as they are concern) and treat you as such. Kids can be cruel. And at school age from 12 to 17...it matters (to most) how you are seen by your peers, especially since you have to see them everyday. As bad as it is to say it, CF can make you a target among you peers reguardless if you hide it or its common knowledge. Hopefully most of the kids will forget and move on from this. If not, give your daughter love and support (which it seems you already do) and help her handle this the best way possible. Good luck.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>janddburke</b></i>

Thanks to all for your feedback.



she's not usually embarassed by it. she's used to it.



the problem was what was reported back to the class. You all know, when you look up CF who knows where, it sounds really really bad.



the kids in her class, her friends, all know her and all of a sudden they thought she was going to die.</end quote></div>

This is where I'd suggest she talk to her class herself. If she had been taught to be open about it in the first place, the teacher wouldn't have outed her, the kid wouldn't have looked up CF info, and everything would be a lot better than it is now.

<b>Edited to add:</b><i> I realize this sound kind of snarky. It wasn't meant to be. My simple point is that, if your family treats it like brown hair or glasses or braces or blue eyes, that's the way she'll treat it. The faster she learns to accept it as part of her, the better. It may make her different, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's just part of her.</i>

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>janddburke</b></i>

Thanks to all for your feedback.



she's not usually embarassed by it. she's used to it.



the problem was what was reported back to the class. You all know, when you look up CF who knows where, it sounds really really bad.



the kids in her class, her friends, all know her and all of a sudden they thought she was going to die.</end quote></div>

This is where I'd suggest she talk to her class herself. If she had been taught to be open about it in the first place, the teacher wouldn't have outed her, the kid wouldn't have looked up CF info, and everything would be a lot better than it is now.

<b>Edited to add:</b><i> I realize this sound kind of snarky. It wasn't meant to be. My simple point is that, if your family treats it like brown hair or glasses or braces or blue eyes, that's the way she'll treat it. The faster she learns to accept it as part of her, the better. It may make her different, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's just part of her.</i>

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>janddburke</b></i>

Thanks to all for your feedback.



she's not usually embarassed by it. she's used to it.



the problem was what was reported back to the class. You all know, when you look up CF who knows where, it sounds really really bad.



the kids in her class, her friends, all know her and all of a sudden they thought she was going to die.</end quote></div>

This is where I'd suggest she talk to her class herself. If she had been taught to be open about it in the first place, the teacher wouldn't have outed her, the kid wouldn't have looked up CF info, and everything would be a lot better than it is now.

<b>Edited to add:</b><i> I realize this sound kind of snarky. It wasn't meant to be. My simple point is that, if your family treats it like brown hair or glasses or braces or blue eyes, that's the way she'll treat it. The faster she learns to accept it as part of her, the better. It may make her different, but there's nothing wrong with that. It's just part of her.</i>

 

[mneville]

I can see why you would be upset but I agree that Aidan will always have the freedom to talk about CF. I fully intend to teach him about it and let him share it with others and educate others. I am a special ed teacher and deal with kids with all different kinds of issues. We just did a lecture with our 3rd graders why two of their classmates are "different", They are autistic. The kids are so much better with it once they understand more.

Aidan's cousins now talk about his CF and why everyone has to wash their hands alot. My 3 and 4 year old nieces say "Cystic Fibrosis" perfectly- they are already great at the necessary precautions when it comes to Aidan.

Megan

 

[mneville]

I can see why you would be upset but I agree that Aidan will always have the freedom to talk about CF. I fully intend to teach him about it and let him share it with others and educate others. I am a special ed teacher and deal with kids with all different kinds of issues. We just did a lecture with our 3rd graders why two of their classmates are "different", They are autistic. The kids are so much better with it once they understand more.

Aidan's cousins now talk about his CF and why everyone has to wash their hands alot. My 3 and 4 year old nieces say "Cystic Fibrosis" perfectly- they are already great at the necessary precautions when it comes to Aidan.

Megan

 

[mneville]

I can see why you would be upset but I agree that Aidan will always have the freedom to talk about CF. I fully intend to teach him about it and let him share it with others and educate others. I am a special ed teacher and deal with kids with all different kinds of issues. We just did a lecture with our 3rd graders why two of their classmates are "different", They are autistic. The kids are so much better with it once they understand more.

Aidan's cousins now talk about his CF and why everyone has to wash their hands alot. My 3 and 4 year old nieces say "Cystic Fibrosis" perfectly- they are already great at the necessary precautions when it comes to Aidan.

Megan

 

[ReneeP]

I can certainly sympathize with you here. My daughter is in the 6th grade and would feel that her world were ending if her teacher told everyone she had CF. And I would be highly pissed off. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it now because it's over with and there's nothing you can do. It may turn out to be a good thing because maybe your daughter will realize her fears were unfounded and that people are not going to treat her differently.

I have tried and tried and tried to convince Kaitlyn that having CF is nothing to hide. I have encouraged her to be open and talk about it... but there is a point where you have to respect their wishes. She doesn't want to be treated differently. She doesn't want people to feel sorry for her. That's her right.

I HATE it when people try to make you feel like you are a bad parent because your children don't feel exactly the way they do. Just because your child doesn't want people to know she has CF doesn't mean you have done something wrong as a parent. Please don't let people who live in a "perfect world bubble" make you feel that way. Your child has the right to feel the way she feels and it doesn't mean you caused it. I know I have NEVER acted like CF was a bad thing. And my other daughter is very open about having CF. Every individual is different.