Teacher 'outed' my daughter!

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

I may not be any help in how to potty train a child, or when their bedtime should be... but if we're talking about any aspect of CF, my two cents are still worth sharing. *shrug*</end quote></div>



This is where CF parents on this board go wrong.....

Instead of listening to those who are successful adults in good health with CF, you throw your "well it's not a perfect world and we don't have to listen to what you say" nonsense in.

Clearly, there are CFers on this site whose parents were able to raise their kids this way. So the "perfect bubble" holds no water and is just an easy out to not do what it takes to raise a kid correctly.

Emily is right.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

I may not be any help in how to potty train a child, or when their bedtime should be... but if we're talking about any aspect of CF, my two cents are still worth sharing. *shrug*</end quote></div>



This is where CF parents on this board go wrong.....

Instead of listening to those who are successful adults in good health with CF, you throw your "well it's not a perfect world and we don't have to listen to what you say" nonsense in.

Clearly, there are CFers on this site whose parents were able to raise their kids this way. So the "perfect bubble" holds no water and is just an easy out to not do what it takes to raise a kid correctly.

Emily is right.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Emily65Roses</b></i>

I may not be any help in how to potty train a child, or when their bedtime should be... but if we're talking about any aspect of CF, my two cents are still worth sharing. *shrug*</end quote></div>



This is where CF parents on this board go wrong.....

Instead of listening to those who are successful adults in good health with CF, you throw your "well it's not a perfect world and we don't have to listen to what you say" nonsense in.

Clearly, there are CFers on this site whose parents were able to raise their kids this way. So the "perfect bubble" holds no water and is just an easy out to not do what it takes to raise a kid correctly.

Emily is right.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>



Ok drumroll please.....I actually couldn't agree more with Amy, and this doesn't happen often as she will attest to! LOL.



Now to be serious, I'm trying to put myself in your place as a mother. Yes I can see why you'd be mad, and understand how the protective side of you would come out. But just speaking as a cfer with experience in this, I'm really concerned that she is growing up with the idea that her cf is embarassing or shameful. If she was embarassed that the teacher told everyone I don't think thats a good sign. When I was in school I remember the teacher made a similar announcement, and the whole class sent me cards in the hosp. My mom was supportive and happy when I received them.



You have to remember this teacher's motive-I'm sure she was saying it out of care and concern for you daughter. I'm certain she didn't get up and decide-you know what, I'm gonna violate a hippa regulation today and tell everyone her private business. That doesn't make sense. I'm sure she wanted to tell the class, be supportive of this girl, be kind, she has a serious illness and is out bc of this...another thing is with kids of school age when one misses alot of school, kids start talking and teasing and making up rumors...she probably helped squash alot of that garbage by saying you know what guys, she has cf, so be compasisonate.



Cf isn't something that you have to be proud of and wear your cf badge with honor, but you shouldn't be ashamed! That really can carry big emotional problems into your adulthood-believe me. With all due respect, and I really do mean that, the best thing you can do when your kid comes home and tells you that this happened is say, so what honey-she was just trying to be nice, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And blow it off. Just like that. I think the worst thing you can do is make a stink, call the school, bring up hipaa laws, threaten the teacher....believe me it will translate to your daughter-my mom wants my cf to be secretive bc she thinks its shameful....not, my mom is doing this bc she wants to protect me. (even if that it only your motive which of course I'm sure it is)



Just my thoughts, and really only trying to be heplful.</end quote></div>



Hell just froze over. J/k.

But well said..... important words from someone who has been there.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>



Ok drumroll please.....I actually couldn't agree more with Amy, and this doesn't happen often as she will attest to! LOL.



Now to be serious, I'm trying to put myself in your place as a mother. Yes I can see why you'd be mad, and understand how the protective side of you would come out. But just speaking as a cfer with experience in this, I'm really concerned that she is growing up with the idea that her cf is embarassing or shameful. If she was embarassed that the teacher told everyone I don't think thats a good sign. When I was in school I remember the teacher made a similar announcement, and the whole class sent me cards in the hosp. My mom was supportive and happy when I received them.



You have to remember this teacher's motive-I'm sure she was saying it out of care and concern for you daughter. I'm certain she didn't get up and decide-you know what, I'm gonna violate a hippa regulation today and tell everyone her private business. That doesn't make sense. I'm sure she wanted to tell the class, be supportive of this girl, be kind, she has a serious illness and is out bc of this...another thing is with kids of school age when one misses alot of school, kids start talking and teasing and making up rumors...she probably helped squash alot of that garbage by saying you know what guys, she has cf, so be compasisonate.



Cf isn't something that you have to be proud of and wear your cf badge with honor, but you shouldn't be ashamed! That really can carry big emotional problems into your adulthood-believe me. With all due respect, and I really do mean that, the best thing you can do when your kid comes home and tells you that this happened is say, so what honey-she was just trying to be nice, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And blow it off. Just like that. I think the worst thing you can do is make a stink, call the school, bring up hipaa laws, threaten the teacher....believe me it will translate to your daughter-my mom wants my cf to be secretive bc she thinks its shameful....not, my mom is doing this bc she wants to protect me. (even if that it only your motive which of course I'm sure it is)



Just my thoughts, and really only trying to be heplful.</end quote></div>



Hell just froze over. J/k.

But well said..... important words from someone who has been there.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Scarlett81</b></i>



Ok drumroll please.....I actually couldn't agree more with Amy, and this doesn't happen often as she will attest to! LOL.



Now to be serious, I'm trying to put myself in your place as a mother. Yes I can see why you'd be mad, and understand how the protective side of you would come out. But just speaking as a cfer with experience in this, I'm really concerned that she is growing up with the idea that her cf is embarassing or shameful. If she was embarassed that the teacher told everyone I don't think thats a good sign. When I was in school I remember the teacher made a similar announcement, and the whole class sent me cards in the hosp. My mom was supportive and happy when I received them.



You have to remember this teacher's motive-I'm sure she was saying it out of care and concern for you daughter. I'm certain she didn't get up and decide-you know what, I'm gonna violate a hippa regulation today and tell everyone her private business. That doesn't make sense. I'm sure she wanted to tell the class, be supportive of this girl, be kind, she has a serious illness and is out bc of this...another thing is with kids of school age when one misses alot of school, kids start talking and teasing and making up rumors...she probably helped squash alot of that garbage by saying you know what guys, she has cf, so be compasisonate.



Cf isn't something that you have to be proud of and wear your cf badge with honor, but you shouldn't be ashamed! That really can carry big emotional problems into your adulthood-believe me. With all due respect, and I really do mean that, the best thing you can do when your kid comes home and tells you that this happened is say, so what honey-she was just trying to be nice, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And blow it off. Just like that. I think the worst thing you can do is make a stink, call the school, bring up hipaa laws, threaten the teacher....believe me it will translate to your daughter-my mom wants my cf to be secretive bc she thinks its shameful....not, my mom is doing this bc she wants to protect me. (even if that it only your motive which of course I'm sure it is)



Just my thoughts, and really only trying to be heplful.</end quote></div>



Hell just froze over. J/k.

But well said..... important words from someone who has been there.

 

[AnD]

I have to agree that I would be very upset at what the teacher did! She could have simply explained that she was sick and in the hospital and would be back soon- it was your daughter's choice about who is "in the know" and who isn't.

And nothing quite like knowing that someone <i><u>else</u></i> was allowed to tell the entire class about your condition! That's the part that burns me up!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0"> At that age, they can be so sensitive and private about their bodies. And yes, kids can be very insensitive when it comes to <i>other</i> people's feelings, and ask stupid, embarrassing questions, whether out of curiosity or just to be mean- no kid needs to have more fodder for that. Hopefully, your daughter has nicer classmates than I grew up with at that age, and you can help her handle it better than I did <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .

I would certainly say something to the principal, so it doesn't happen again to someone else's child. I don't think the teacher may have realized how embarrassing cf can be socially in other ways (for example- digestion issues! Especially when you are at that age!). I would hope that she wouldn't have told the class that someone was in the hospital for, say, explosive diarhea, and then let a classmate give a report!

I hate it when people don't think before they act.

 

[AnD]

I have to agree that I would be very upset at what the teacher did! She could have simply explained that she was sick and in the hospital and would be back soon- it was your daughter's choice about who is "in the know" and who isn't.

And nothing quite like knowing that someone <i><u>else</u></i> was allowed to tell the entire class about your condition! That's the part that burns me up!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0"> At that age, they can be so sensitive and private about their bodies. And yes, kids can be very insensitive when it comes to <i>other</i> people's feelings, and ask stupid, embarrassing questions, whether out of curiosity or just to be mean- no kid needs to have more fodder for that. Hopefully, your daughter has nicer classmates than I grew up with at that age, and you can help her handle it better than I did <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .

I would certainly say something to the principal, so it doesn't happen again to someone else's child. I don't think the teacher may have realized how embarrassing cf can be socially in other ways (for example- digestion issues! Especially when you are at that age!). I would hope that she wouldn't have told the class that someone was in the hospital for, say, explosive diarhea, and then let a classmate give a report!

I hate it when people don't think before they act.

 

[AnD]

I have to agree that I would be very upset at what the teacher did! She could have simply explained that she was sick and in the hospital and would be back soon- it was your daughter's choice about who is "in the know" and who isn't.

And nothing quite like knowing that someone <i><u>else</u></i> was allowed to tell the entire class about your condition! That's the part that burns me up!<img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-mad.gif" border="0"> At that age, they can be so sensitive and private about their bodies. And yes, kids can be very insensitive when it comes to <i>other</i> people's feelings, and ask stupid, embarrassing questions, whether out of curiosity or just to be mean- no kid needs to have more fodder for that. Hopefully, your daughter has nicer classmates than I grew up with at that age, and you can help her handle it better than I did <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> .

I would certainly say something to the principal, so it doesn't happen again to someone else's child. I don't think the teacher may have realized how embarrassing cf can be socially in other ways (for example- digestion issues! Especially when you are at that age!). I would hope that she wouldn't have told the class that someone was in the hospital for, say, explosive diarhea, and then let a classmate give a report!

I hate it when people don't think before they act.

 

[jfarel]

I was ticked and embarrassed when a similar situation happened at my school. I felt normal and wanted to be treated as normal. In hindsight, I wish there was some way I could have just got over this self-consciousness, but the bottom line is sometimes, even at age 27, I still struggle with it and want to be treated like everyone else. I think if I could have done what Amy did it would have been better.

In the long run, this actually hurt me because I should have been more proactive about my disease. I wanted to be normal and I wanted to think I was normal so I avoided learning more about cf or even asking questions. I followed my doctors directions to the T but still wish I had known then what I know now.

 

[jfarel]

I was ticked and embarrassed when a similar situation happened at my school. I felt normal and wanted to be treated as normal. In hindsight, I wish there was some way I could have just got over this self-consciousness, but the bottom line is sometimes, even at age 27, I still struggle with it and want to be treated like everyone else. I think if I could have done what Amy did it would have been better.

In the long run, this actually hurt me because I should have been more proactive about my disease. I wanted to be normal and I wanted to think I was normal so I avoided learning more about cf or even asking questions. I followed my doctors directions to the T but still wish I had known then what I know now.

 

[jfarel]

I was ticked and embarrassed when a similar situation happened at my school. I felt normal and wanted to be treated as normal. In hindsight, I wish there was some way I could have just got over this self-consciousness, but the bottom line is sometimes, even at age 27, I still struggle with it and want to be treated like everyone else. I think if I could have done what Amy did it would have been better.

In the long run, this actually hurt me because I should have been more proactive about my disease. I wanted to be normal and I wanted to think I was normal so I avoided learning more about cf or even asking questions. I followed my doctors directions to the T but still wish I had known then what I know now.

 

[ReneeP]

What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. But over and over you all keep saying that the child will feel this way if the parent makes it a secretive thing... (or something to that effect)...

What are we as parents supposed to do when our teenagers don't want people to know? Are we supposed to say "who gives a sh** how you feel... this is not about you... this is about what I want and I want everyone to know"????

At what point are we as parents supposed to respect our child's right to share their disease with only those people they want to share it with? Or do they not have that right? Our children are not show and tell objects... they are people with their own feelings.

 

[ReneeP]

What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. But over and over you all keep saying that the child will feel this way if the parent makes it a secretive thing... (or something to that effect)...

What are we as parents supposed to do when our teenagers don't want people to know? Are we supposed to say "who gives a sh** how you feel... this is not about you... this is about what I want and I want everyone to know"????

At what point are we as parents supposed to respect our child's right to share their disease with only those people they want to share it with? Or do they not have that right? Our children are not show and tell objects... they are people with their own feelings.

 

[ReneeP]

What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. But over and over you all keep saying that the child will feel this way if the parent makes it a secretive thing... (or something to that effect)...

What are we as parents supposed to do when our teenagers don't want people to know? Are we supposed to say "who gives a sh** how you feel... this is not about you... this is about what I want and I want everyone to know"????

At what point are we as parents supposed to respect our child's right to share their disease with only those people they want to share it with? Or do they not have that right? Our children are not show and tell objects... they are people with their own feelings.

 

[ReneeP]

<i>Clearly, there are CFers on this site whose parents were able to raise their kids this way. So the "perfect bubble" holds no water and is just an easy out to not do what it takes to raise a kid correctly. </i>


Who do you think you are to assume any parent is using anything as out not to do what it takes to raise a kid correctly? How many kids have you raised?

I for one am raising 5 kids, currently ages 7-14, two with CF whom I have worked my ass off to keep healthy. Currently all 5 of them are on the honor roll and all are doing very well... so please don't tell me what it takes to raise a kid correctly.

Why, Amy, do you feel such a strong need to tell other people how perfect your life is and how bad everyone else is if they do things differently? What kind of rush do you get out of that? Is it like an addiction or something?

 

[ReneeP]

<i>Clearly, there are CFers on this site whose parents were able to raise their kids this way. So the "perfect bubble" holds no water and is just an easy out to not do what it takes to raise a kid correctly. </i>


Who do you think you are to assume any parent is using anything as out not to do what it takes to raise a kid correctly? How many kids have you raised?

I for one am raising 5 kids, currently ages 7-14, two with CF whom I have worked my ass off to keep healthy. Currently all 5 of them are on the honor roll and all are doing very well... so please don't tell me what it takes to raise a kid correctly.

Why, Amy, do you feel such a strong need to tell other people how perfect your life is and how bad everyone else is if they do things differently? What kind of rush do you get out of that? Is it like an addiction or something?

 

[ReneeP]

<i>Clearly, there are CFers on this site whose parents were able to raise their kids this way. So the "perfect bubble" holds no water and is just an easy out to not do what it takes to raise a kid correctly. </i>


Who do you think you are to assume any parent is using anything as out not to do what it takes to raise a kid correctly? How many kids have you raised?

I for one am raising 5 kids, currently ages 7-14, two with CF whom I have worked my ass off to keep healthy. Currently all 5 of them are on the honor roll and all are doing very well... so please don't tell me what it takes to raise a kid correctly.

Why, Amy, do you feel such a strong need to tell other people how perfect your life is and how bad everyone else is if they do things differently? What kind of rush do you get out of that? Is it like an addiction or something?

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>

What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. .</end quote></div>

Nope. Not being missed.

The kid takes cues from the parents & how the kid was raised.

I know it's convenient to take the responsibility away from the parent, but it just can't be done. The parents' raising of the child is responsible for how the child views the disease.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>

What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. .</end quote></div>

Nope. Not being missed.

The kid takes cues from the parents & how the kid was raised.

I know it's convenient to take the responsibility away from the parent, but it just can't be done. The parents' raising of the child is responsible for how the child views the disease.