Teacher 'outed' my daughter!

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>

What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. .</end quote></div>

Nope. Not being missed.

The kid takes cues from the parents & how the kid was raised.

I know it's convenient to take the responsibility away from the parent, but it just can't be done. The parents' raising of the child is responsible for how the child views the disease.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I didn't miss anything. I got the point. But I also very clearly saw:
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>When you have raised a couple of kids to at least 18, and at least one of them has a chronic illness, then you can start giving parenting advice... but not until then.</end quote></div>
And that makes to say that what I have to say is no good because I'm not a parent. I was simply disagreeing.

As for the secretive CF kid whose parent has been open, I think that's probably rare (at least more so). Most of the embarrassed kids are so because of the way their family treats it. And most of the open kids are so because of the way their family treats it. That has always been my experience anyway. For some cases, kids will be secretive no matter what, and that's not the parent's fault. I just wanted to make it clear that the more open you are about it, the more likely the kid is to accept it and not freak out about it.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I didn't miss anything. I got the point. But I also very clearly saw:
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>When you have raised a couple of kids to at least 18, and at least one of them has a chronic illness, then you can start giving parenting advice... but not until then.</end quote></div>
And that makes to say that what I have to say is no good because I'm not a parent. I was simply disagreeing.

As for the secretive CF kid whose parent has been open, I think that's probably rare (at least more so). Most of the embarrassed kids are so because of the way their family treats it. And most of the open kids are so because of the way their family treats it. That has always been my experience anyway. For some cases, kids will be secretive no matter what, and that's not the parent's fault. I just wanted to make it clear that the more open you are about it, the more likely the kid is to accept it and not freak out about it.

 

[Emily65Roses]

I didn't miss anything. I got the point. But I also very clearly saw:
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>When you have raised a couple of kids to at least 18, and at least one of them has a chronic illness, then you can start giving parenting advice... but not until then.</end quote></div>
And that makes to say that what I have to say is no good because I'm not a parent. I was simply disagreeing.

As for the secretive CF kid whose parent has been open, I think that's probably rare (at least more so). Most of the embarrassed kids are so because of the way their family treats it. And most of the open kids are so because of the way their family treats it. That has always been my experience anyway. For some cases, kids will be secretive no matter what, and that's not the parent's fault. I just wanted to make it clear that the more open you are about it, the more likely the kid is to accept it and not freak out about it.

 

[AnD]

</end quote></div>

"Cf isn't something that you have to be proud of and wear your cf badge with honor, but you shouldn't be ashamed! That really can carry big emotional problems into your adulthood-believe me. With all due respect, and I really do mean that, the best thing you can do when your kid comes home and tells you that this happened is say, so what honey-she was just trying to be nice, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And blow it off. Just like that. I think the worst thing you can do is make a stink, call the school, bring up hipaa laws, threaten the teacher....believe me it will translate to your daughter-my mom wants my cf to be secretive bc she thinks its shameful....not, my mom is doing this bc she wants to protect me. (even if that it only your motive which of course I'm sure it is)



Just my thoughts, and really only trying to be heplful".</end quote></div>[unquote]


It's not the "having cf" that is embarassing or shameful , especially if she is comfortable about it with her friends and family- it's just that it makes us different, especially at an age where most kids just want to fit in- just like the freckles, or the taller than everybody else thing, etc. and she'd rather not have everyone know. She's old enough to realize that some will treat her differently, whether it's with compassion, in ignorance, or with spite. Nothing wrong with feeling that way (especially at that age) to me, or not wanting certain people to know with whom you have no real relationship with. Do I care who knows I have cf? Not a bit, I try to educate people about it. Was I wanting the world to know when I was a preteen/teenager (especially?). No thanks. I had my friends and family to help me deal with my cf issues- I didn't need or want the "compassion" of the entire school.

IMHO, it's not being "ashamed" of having cf- it's being a normal preteen/teen. <img src="">

 

[AnD]

</end quote></div>

"Cf isn't something that you have to be proud of and wear your cf badge with honor, but you shouldn't be ashamed! That really can carry big emotional problems into your adulthood-believe me. With all due respect, and I really do mean that, the best thing you can do when your kid comes home and tells you that this happened is say, so what honey-she was just trying to be nice, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And blow it off. Just like that. I think the worst thing you can do is make a stink, call the school, bring up hipaa laws, threaten the teacher....believe me it will translate to your daughter-my mom wants my cf to be secretive bc she thinks its shameful....not, my mom is doing this bc she wants to protect me. (even if that it only your motive which of course I'm sure it is)



Just my thoughts, and really only trying to be heplful".</end quote></div>[unquote]


It's not the "having cf" that is embarassing or shameful , especially if she is comfortable about it with her friends and family- it's just that it makes us different, especially at an age where most kids just want to fit in- just like the freckles, or the taller than everybody else thing, etc. and she'd rather not have everyone know. She's old enough to realize that some will treat her differently, whether it's with compassion, in ignorance, or with spite. Nothing wrong with feeling that way (especially at that age) to me, or not wanting certain people to know with whom you have no real relationship with. Do I care who knows I have cf? Not a bit, I try to educate people about it. Was I wanting the world to know when I was a preteen/teenager (especially?). No thanks. I had my friends and family to help me deal with my cf issues- I didn't need or want the "compassion" of the entire school.

IMHO, it's not being "ashamed" of having cf- it's being a normal preteen/teen. <img src="">

 

[AnD]

</end quote></div>

"Cf isn't something that you have to be proud of and wear your cf badge with honor, but you shouldn't be ashamed! That really can carry big emotional problems into your adulthood-believe me. With all due respect, and I really do mean that, the best thing you can do when your kid comes home and tells you that this happened is say, so what honey-she was just trying to be nice, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. And blow it off. Just like that. I think the worst thing you can do is make a stink, call the school, bring up hipaa laws, threaten the teacher....believe me it will translate to your daughter-my mom wants my cf to be secretive bc she thinks its shameful....not, my mom is doing this bc she wants to protect me. (even if that it only your motive which of course I'm sure it is)



Just my thoughts, and really only trying to be heplful".</end quote></div>[unquote]


It's not the "having cf" that is embarassing or shameful , especially if she is comfortable about it with her friends and family- it's just that it makes us different, especially at an age where most kids just want to fit in- just like the freckles, or the taller than everybody else thing, etc. and she'd rather not have everyone know. She's old enough to realize that some will treat her differently, whether it's with compassion, in ignorance, or with spite. Nothing wrong with feeling that way (especially at that age) to me, or not wanting certain people to know with whom you have no real relationship with. Do I care who knows I have cf? Not a bit, I try to educate people about it. Was I wanting the world to know when I was a preteen/teenager (especially?). No thanks. I had my friends and family to help me deal with my cf issues- I didn't need or want the "compassion" of the entire school.

IMHO, it's not being "ashamed" of having cf- it's being a normal preteen/teen. <img src="">

 

[chrissyd]

This thread made me think....just my two cents. I am 30 (YAY) with CF (I say yay b/c my birthday is saturday) I have a daughter and I was a preschool teacher. (so I'd like to think I know a bit about kids)

Every child is different. That being said; there is a difference between a child who is sick wanting to be private about it, and the child who is sick seeing it as a weakness. No parent can predict how their child will react to certain situations. However; our child do learn most (although many would never admit it; from watching mom and dad)

Rather than saying this is what I think you should do, I'll tell you a story about my daughter. (Take what you want from in!) Her name is Kate and she is 10. When she was 6, we went to mcdonalds...long story short they forgot her toy. She looked up at me and my reply was, "Go tell them. They can fix it for you, but you have to tell them the problem." So I watched from the booth across the isle as she walked up there and told the manager. She got her toy.

About a year ago; we were all at a Chick Fil A and they forgot my husbands cole slaw. My husband looked at me (just like my 6 year old did years ago) and I told him to go say something. People can't fix it if they don't know its a problem. My husband shook his head and was like no they are busy. My daughter went right up to the counter and told them. And she came back with the cole slaw.

The moral of the story? People need to know when something isn't right. If my daughter were upset by something the teacher did...she would tell them. It is important to all children to learn good communication skills.

So If the roles were reversed; and my daughter asked me for advice I would say, tell her. Tell the teacher (low key obviously) that it embarassed you. This way she will know better next time, and can tell the other teachers that it's something you would like to talk to people about.

BTW ~ Please take it or leave it. I'm not telling people their kids should be like mine. Just thought I'd throw it out there.

I know as a teen/preteen I got more embarassed when my mom and dad freaked out and made a big deal out of things. So they let me handle it; and my life was less embarassing (except for the mistakes I made myself...LOL!)

 

[chrissyd]

This thread made me think....just my two cents. I am 30 (YAY) with CF (I say yay b/c my birthday is saturday) I have a daughter and I was a preschool teacher. (so I'd like to think I know a bit about kids)

Every child is different. That being said; there is a difference between a child who is sick wanting to be private about it, and the child who is sick seeing it as a weakness. No parent can predict how their child will react to certain situations. However; our child do learn most (although many would never admit it; from watching mom and dad)

Rather than saying this is what I think you should do, I'll tell you a story about my daughter. (Take what you want from in!) Her name is Kate and she is 10. When she was 6, we went to mcdonalds...long story short they forgot her toy. She looked up at me and my reply was, "Go tell them. They can fix it for you, but you have to tell them the problem." So I watched from the booth across the isle as she walked up there and told the manager. She got her toy.

About a year ago; we were all at a Chick Fil A and they forgot my husbands cole slaw. My husband looked at me (just like my 6 year old did years ago) and I told him to go say something. People can't fix it if they don't know its a problem. My husband shook his head and was like no they are busy. My daughter went right up to the counter and told them. And she came back with the cole slaw.

The moral of the story? People need to know when something isn't right. If my daughter were upset by something the teacher did...she would tell them. It is important to all children to learn good communication skills.

So If the roles were reversed; and my daughter asked me for advice I would say, tell her. Tell the teacher (low key obviously) that it embarassed you. This way she will know better next time, and can tell the other teachers that it's something you would like to talk to people about.

BTW ~ Please take it or leave it. I'm not telling people their kids should be like mine. Just thought I'd throw it out there.

I know as a teen/preteen I got more embarassed when my mom and dad freaked out and made a big deal out of things. So they let me handle it; and my life was less embarassing (except for the mistakes I made myself...LOL!)

 

[chrissyd]

This thread made me think....just my two cents. I am 30 (YAY) with CF (I say yay b/c my birthday is saturday) I have a daughter and I was a preschool teacher. (so I'd like to think I know a bit about kids)

Every child is different. That being said; there is a difference between a child who is sick wanting to be private about it, and the child who is sick seeing it as a weakness. No parent can predict how their child will react to certain situations. However; our child do learn most (although many would never admit it; from watching mom and dad)

Rather than saying this is what I think you should do, I'll tell you a story about my daughter. (Take what you want from in!) Her name is Kate and she is 10. When she was 6, we went to mcdonalds...long story short they forgot her toy. She looked up at me and my reply was, "Go tell them. They can fix it for you, but you have to tell them the problem." So I watched from the booth across the isle as she walked up there and told the manager. She got her toy.

About a year ago; we were all at a Chick Fil A and they forgot my husbands cole slaw. My husband looked at me (just like my 6 year old did years ago) and I told him to go say something. People can't fix it if they don't know its a problem. My husband shook his head and was like no they are busy. My daughter went right up to the counter and told them. And she came back with the cole slaw.

The moral of the story? People need to know when something isn't right. If my daughter were upset by something the teacher did...she would tell them. It is important to all children to learn good communication skills.

So If the roles were reversed; and my daughter asked me for advice I would say, tell her. Tell the teacher (low key obviously) that it embarassed you. This way she will know better next time, and can tell the other teachers that it's something you would like to talk to people about.

BTW ~ Please take it or leave it. I'm not telling people their kids should be like mine. Just thought I'd throw it out there.

I know as a teen/preteen I got more embarassed when my mom and dad freaked out and made a big deal out of things. So they let me handle it; and my life was less embarassing (except for the mistakes I made myself...LOL!)

 

[ReneeP]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>



What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. .</end quote></div>



Nope. Not being missed.



The kid takes cues from the parents & how the kid was raised.



I know it's convenient to take the responsibility away from the parent, but it just can't be done. The parents' raising of the child is responsible for how the child views the disease.</end quote></div>

Man, you are tough. I sure hope I never have to ask you for advice when my girls are sick because you'd probably push me right to suicide. I'd have to blame myself for everything that is wrong.

I don't understand you at all, Amy. You can be so insensitive. No, I take that back. You ARE so insensitive. You are like a doctor with no bedside manner. You have so much knowledge but no tact with which to present it.

 

[ReneeP]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>



What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. .</end quote></div>



Nope. Not being missed.



The kid takes cues from the parents & how the kid was raised.



I know it's convenient to take the responsibility away from the parent, but it just can't be done. The parents' raising of the child is responsible for how the child views the disease.</end quote></div>

Man, you are tough. I sure hope I never have to ask you for advice when my girls are sick because you'd probably push me right to suicide. I'd have to blame myself for everything that is wrong.

I don't understand you at all, Amy. You can be so insensitive. No, I take that back. You ARE so insensitive. You are like a doctor with no bedside manner. You have so much knowledge but no tact with which to present it.

 

[ReneeP]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>



What I think is being missed here is that it is not the parent who is secretive about CF. It's the teenager. .</end quote></div>



Nope. Not being missed.



The kid takes cues from the parents & how the kid was raised.



I know it's convenient to take the responsibility away from the parent, but it just can't be done. The parents' raising of the child is responsible for how the child views the disease.</end quote></div>

Man, you are tough. I sure hope I never have to ask you for advice when my girls are sick because you'd probably push me right to suicide. I'd have to blame myself for everything that is wrong.

I don't understand you at all, Amy. You can be so insensitive. No, I take that back. You ARE so insensitive. You are like a doctor with no bedside manner. You have so much knowledge but no tact with which to present it.

 

[AnD]

And all kids are different, too, don't forget. And so are families personalities. If a person or family is private about such things, then fine. If they are forward and open with everything, that's fine too. There is a big difference between being ashamed about something and being private about something. For example, I don't think that certain things about my marriage are anybody else's business either (and since this is the family section, I'll leave it at that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> ), but does that mean I'm ashamed? Um, nope, not by a long shot, LOL. It's just personal and private to me. That's the difference.

 

[AnD]

And all kids are different, too, don't forget. And so are families personalities. If a person or family is private about such things, then fine. If they are forward and open with everything, that's fine too. There is a big difference between being ashamed about something and being private about something. For example, I don't think that certain things about my marriage are anybody else's business either (and since this is the family section, I'll leave it at that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> ), but does that mean I'm ashamed? Um, nope, not by a long shot, LOL. It's just personal and private to me. That's the difference.

 

[AnD]

And all kids are different, too, don't forget. And so are families personalities. If a person or family is private about such things, then fine. If they are forward and open with everything, that's fine too. There is a big difference between being ashamed about something and being private about something. For example, I don't think that certain things about my marriage are anybody else's business either (and since this is the family section, I'll leave it at that <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-wink.gif" border="0"> ), but does that mean I'm ashamed? Um, nope, not by a long shot, LOL. It's just personal and private to me. That's the difference.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>When you have raised a couple of kids to at least 18, and at least one of them has a chronic illness, then you can start giving parenting advice... but not until then.</end quote></div>


I like this one too.

You better never give advice on CF since you don't have it....

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>When you have raised a couple of kids to at least 18, and at least one of them has a chronic illness, then you can start giving parenting advice... but not until then.</end quote></div>


I like this one too.

You better never give advice on CF since you don't have it....

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>When you have raised a couple of kids to at least 18, and at least one of them has a chronic illness, then you can start giving parenting advice... but not until then.</end quote></div>


I like this one too.

You better never give advice on CF since you don't have it....

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>ReneeP</b></i>

Man, you are tough. I sure hope I never have to ask you for advice when my girls are sick because you'd probably push me right to suicide. I'd have to blame myself for everything that is wrong.



I don't understand you at all, Amy. You can be so insensitive. No, I take that back. You ARE so insensitive. You are like a doctor with no bedside manner. You have so much knowledge but no tact with which to present it.</end quote></div>


It's easy to attack the person when you don't like what's being said. It's a solid way to detract from the facts....

And the difference between me and a doc is you don't have to listen to me. Doc's don't have a block feature. This site does.

If you don't like it, Renee, then block me.