To have more children (with possible CF) or not

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barbc888

New member
SKNoell,

I have 10 brothers and sisters, 2 of whom have passed away from CF -- one was 6 years older, the other 10 years older. After my brother passed away at 1 month of age -- this was in 1957 -- doctors, friends, family told my parents not to have more children, so as not to risk having another with CF. They listened, talked, agonized and decided that they would do what they had decided before they even got married: they vowed to take as many children as God would give them and love them no matter what. Believe me, I've been through a lot and have had many stressful, frustrating times, but being resentful towards my parents has never entered my mind. I'm not a particularly religious person, but I feel we are all put on this earth for a reason. If you are worried about another child resenting you for having CF, look at the other side of the coin -- maybe they'll appreciate you for giving them life and for loving them and supporting every aspect of their disease. That's just my opinion... I wish you good luck with your decision.

Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
 
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barbc888

New member
SKNoell,

I have 10 brothers and sisters, 2 of whom have passed away from CF -- one was 6 years older, the other 10 years older. After my brother passed away at 1 month of age -- this was in 1957 -- doctors, friends, family told my parents not to have more children, so as not to risk having another with CF. They listened, talked, agonized and decided that they would do what they had decided before they even got married: they vowed to take as many children as God would give them and love them no matter what. Believe me, I've been through a lot and have had many stressful, frustrating times, but being resentful towards my parents has never entered my mind. I'm not a particularly religious person, but I feel we are all put on this earth for a reason. If you are worried about another child resenting you for having CF, look at the other side of the coin -- maybe they'll appreciate you for giving them life and for loving them and supporting every aspect of their disease. That's just my opinion... I wish you good luck with your decision.

Barbara
40 w/CF & CFRD
 
L

lightNlife

New member
Knees jerking wildly. Must...control...overreaction....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Have a kid or don't. It's really up to the two of you. Why you're asking perfect strangers about their opinions (which are all HEAVILY biased) on the matter boggles my mind completely.

Do, or do not. There is no try. You know the risks, you know the rewards, and you know how to make a baby. Go forth and do something resembling mathematical operations. But only if it's right for you.
 
L

lightNlife

New member
Knees jerking wildly. Must...control...overreaction....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Have a kid or don't. It's really up to the two of you. Why you're asking perfect strangers about their opinions (which are all HEAVILY biased) on the matter boggles my mind completely.

Do, or do not. There is no try. You know the risks, you know the rewards, and you know how to make a baby. Go forth and do something resembling mathematical operations. But only if it's right for you.
 
L

lightNlife

New member
Knees jerking wildly. Must...control...overreaction....GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Have a kid or don't. It's really up to the two of you. Why you're asking perfect strangers about their opinions (which are all HEAVILY biased) on the matter boggles my mind completely.

Do, or do not. There is no try. You know the risks, you know the rewards, and you know how to make a baby. Go forth and do something resembling mathematical operations. But only if it's right for you.
 
S

sue35

New member
You are going to get two totally different responses it seems. Those from parents, and those from people who are actually living with the disease. No matter what, you will never understand what it is like to not be able to breathe. Your child will. I would resent my parents if they knew about CF. And I sure would resent them if I had an older sibling who wasn't as sick as me.

No matter how loving of a family you raise a child in, they will die from this disease and it won't be pretty. They will eventually be on their own and when they are gasping for one good breath they aren't going to be thinking about how great a family they have. They are going to be thinking about just surviving.

You are having a child that will die from a horrible disease. You can hope all you want that they won't but as of right now that is what will happen. And when they die you have to know that you willingly gave them this. Keep in mind that even if the child does resent you they might not ever tell you and they will feel all alone if they are the sick one while their sibling is not
 
S

sue35

New member
You are going to get two totally different responses it seems. Those from parents, and those from people who are actually living with the disease. No matter what, you will never understand what it is like to not be able to breathe. Your child will. I would resent my parents if they knew about CF. And I sure would resent them if I had an older sibling who wasn't as sick as me.

No matter how loving of a family you raise a child in, they will die from this disease and it won't be pretty. They will eventually be on their own and when they are gasping for one good breath they aren't going to be thinking about how great a family they have. They are going to be thinking about just surviving.

You are having a child that will die from a horrible disease. You can hope all you want that they won't but as of right now that is what will happen. And when they die you have to know that you willingly gave them this. Keep in mind that even if the child does resent you they might not ever tell you and they will feel all alone if they are the sick one while their sibling is not
 
S

sue35

New member
You are going to get two totally different responses it seems. Those from parents, and those from people who are actually living with the disease. No matter what, you will never understand what it is like to not be able to breathe. Your child will. I would resent my parents if they knew about CF. And I sure would resent them if I had an older sibling who wasn't as sick as me.

No matter how loving of a family you raise a child in, they will die from this disease and it won't be pretty. They will eventually be on their own and when they are gasping for one good breath they aren't going to be thinking about how great a family they have. They are going to be thinking about just surviving.

You are having a child that will die from a horrible disease. You can hope all you want that they won't but as of right now that is what will happen. And when they die you have to know that you willingly gave them this. Keep in mind that even if the child does resent you they might not ever tell you and they will feel all alone if they are the sick one while their sibling is not
 
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maxjor

New member
i am a mom of 2 one with cf one wo cf.....my frist one has cf and we did not know she had cf till after my son was born so us to want to have a 3rd is like testing fate but we do so we will do ivf my ins said that thay would most likley pay did you call your ins?

mom of 2 one with cf one wo\cf
 
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maxjor

New member
i am a mom of 2 one with cf one wo cf.....my frist one has cf and we did not know she had cf till after my son was born so us to want to have a 3rd is like testing fate but we do so we will do ivf my ins said that thay would most likley pay did you call your ins?

mom of 2 one with cf one wo\cf
 
M

maxjor

New member
i am a mom of 2 one with cf one wo cf.....my frist one has cf and we did not know she had cf till after my son was born so us to want to have a 3rd is like testing fate but we do so we will do ivf my ins said that thay would most likley pay did you call your ins?

mom of 2 one with cf one wo\cf
 
B

blindhearted

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>maxjor</b></i>

i am a mom of 2 one with cf one wo cf.....my frist one has cf and we did not know she had cf till after my son was born so us to want to have a 3rd is like testing fate but we do so we will do ivf my ins said that thay would most likley pay did you call your ins?</end quote></div>

That's a good point and suggestion. Ask your insurance company if they are willing to pay for IVF. They maybe more than willing to pay for a one or two time procedure then for an expensive, life-long illness. Most insurance companies will do whatever is more cost effective for them in the long run.
 
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blindhearted

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>maxjor</b></i>

i am a mom of 2 one with cf one wo cf.....my frist one has cf and we did not know she had cf till after my son was born so us to want to have a 3rd is like testing fate but we do so we will do ivf my ins said that thay would most likley pay did you call your ins?</end quote></div>

That's a good point and suggestion. Ask your insurance company if they are willing to pay for IVF. They maybe more than willing to pay for a one or two time procedure then for an expensive, life-long illness. Most insurance companies will do whatever is more cost effective for them in the long run.
 
B

blindhearted

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>maxjor</b></i>

i am a mom of 2 one with cf one wo cf.....my frist one has cf and we did not know she had cf till after my son was born so us to want to have a 3rd is like testing fate but we do so we will do ivf my ins said that thay would most likley pay did you call your ins?</end quote></div>

That's a good point and suggestion. Ask your insurance company if they are willing to pay for IVF. They maybe more than willing to pay for a one or two time procedure then for an expensive, life-long illness. Most insurance companies will do whatever is more cost effective for them in the long run.
 
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Mommy2Alysa

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>

You are going to get two totally different responses it seems. Those from parents, and those from people who are actually living with the disease. No matter what, you will never understand what it is like to not be able to breathe. Your child will. I would resent my parents if they knew about CF. And I sure would resent them if I had an older sibling who wasn't as sick as me.



No matter how loving of a family you raise a child in, they will die from this disease and it won't be pretty. They will eventually be on their own and when they are gasping for one good breath they aren't going to be thinking about how great a family they have. They are going to be thinking about just surviving.



You are having a child that will die from a horrible disease. You can hope all you want that they won't but as of right now that is what will happen. And when they die you have to know that you willingly gave them this. Keep in mind that even if the child does resent you they might not ever tell you and they will feel all alone if they are the sick one while their sibling is not</end quote></div>


Holy that is a little ummm.... upsettting shall we say? Making parents feel like they are purposely making their child sick is NOT right. There is only a 25% chance of passing both genes onto your child and therefore giving them CF. I am currently the mother of a two year old with CF and I am pregnant with another CF. (I got preg the month after our daughter was diagnosed at 18 months) I did not get pregnant intentionally just to bring another sick child into this world. I wanted a "healthy, normal" chld but that didnt work as planned and who am I to go to the doctor and say "get rid of it please".. I am not god, I am just a mother hoping to one day find a cure.

Excuse me if I sound a little upset but yes people die from this disease every day but they also die by getting hit by cars, or by cancer... should we stop having children beacuse they MAY get cancer when they are older?!
 
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Mommy2Alysa

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>

You are going to get two totally different responses it seems. Those from parents, and those from people who are actually living with the disease. No matter what, you will never understand what it is like to not be able to breathe. Your child will. I would resent my parents if they knew about CF. And I sure would resent them if I had an older sibling who wasn't as sick as me.



No matter how loving of a family you raise a child in, they will die from this disease and it won't be pretty. They will eventually be on their own and when they are gasping for one good breath they aren't going to be thinking about how great a family they have. They are going to be thinking about just surviving.



You are having a child that will die from a horrible disease. You can hope all you want that they won't but as of right now that is what will happen. And when they die you have to know that you willingly gave them this. Keep in mind that even if the child does resent you they might not ever tell you and they will feel all alone if they are the sick one while their sibling is not</end quote></div>


Holy that is a little ummm.... upsettting shall we say? Making parents feel like they are purposely making their child sick is NOT right. There is only a 25% chance of passing both genes onto your child and therefore giving them CF. I am currently the mother of a two year old with CF and I am pregnant with another CF. (I got preg the month after our daughter was diagnosed at 18 months) I did not get pregnant intentionally just to bring another sick child into this world. I wanted a "healthy, normal" chld but that didnt work as planned and who am I to go to the doctor and say "get rid of it please".. I am not god, I am just a mother hoping to one day find a cure.

Excuse me if I sound a little upset but yes people die from this disease every day but they also die by getting hit by cars, or by cancer... should we stop having children beacuse they MAY get cancer when they are older?!
 
M

Mommy2Alysa

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sue35</b></i>

You are going to get two totally different responses it seems. Those from parents, and those from people who are actually living with the disease. No matter what, you will never understand what it is like to not be able to breathe. Your child will. I would resent my parents if they knew about CF. And I sure would resent them if I had an older sibling who wasn't as sick as me.



No matter how loving of a family you raise a child in, they will die from this disease and it won't be pretty. They will eventually be on their own and when they are gasping for one good breath they aren't going to be thinking about how great a family they have. They are going to be thinking about just surviving.



You are having a child that will die from a horrible disease. You can hope all you want that they won't but as of right now that is what will happen. And when they die you have to know that you willingly gave them this. Keep in mind that even if the child does resent you they might not ever tell you and they will feel all alone if they are the sick one while their sibling is not</end quote></div>


Holy that is a little ummm.... upsettting shall we say? Making parents feel like they are purposely making their child sick is NOT right. There is only a 25% chance of passing both genes onto your child and therefore giving them CF. I am currently the mother of a two year old with CF and I am pregnant with another CF. (I got preg the month after our daughter was diagnosed at 18 months) I did not get pregnant intentionally just to bring another sick child into this world. I wanted a "healthy, normal" chld but that didnt work as planned and who am I to go to the doctor and say "get rid of it please".. I am not god, I am just a mother hoping to one day find a cure.

Excuse me if I sound a little upset but yes people die from this disease every day but they also die by getting hit by cars, or by cancer... should we stop having children beacuse they MAY get cancer when they are older?!
 
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