HELP...I don't know what else to do...

[suziecoffeebean]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i> i can't understand why a nurse and doctor would not be more concerned about their health!!</end quote></div>

Exactly what I thought/think. I have talked with my aunt and she acts concerned but then does nothing. My mom does not have any type of insurance and neither do the kids. I found a book that I think they should read but not living in the same city I can't garantee she would let them have it. Anytime they want to talk about it in front of her she won't let us. I try to tell them what I can when we have time alone so. I don't know I feel like I been having this fight with her for too long...I just don't know what the heck she thinks she is doing. I don't get it. I appreciate your comments as well. Thanks.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i> i can't understand why a nurse and doctor would not be more concerned about their health!!</end quote></div>

Exactly what I thought/think. I have talked with my aunt and she acts concerned but then does nothing. My mom does not have any type of insurance and neither do the kids. I found a book that I think they should read but not living in the same city I can't garantee she would let them have it. Anytime they want to talk about it in front of her she won't let us. I try to tell them what I can when we have time alone so. I don't know I feel like I been having this fight with her for too long...I just don't know what the heck she thinks she is doing. I don't get it. I appreciate your comments as well. Thanks.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i> i can't understand why a nurse and doctor would not be more concerned about their health!!</end quote></div>

Exactly what I thought/think. I have talked with my aunt and she acts concerned but then does nothing. My mom does not have any type of insurance and neither do the kids. I found a book that I think they should read but not living in the same city I can't garantee she would let them have it. Anytime they want to talk about it in front of her she won't let us. I try to tell them what I can when we have time alone so. I don't know I feel like I been having this fight with her for too long...I just don't know what the heck she thinks she is doing. I don't get it. I appreciate your comments as well. Thanks.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i> i can't understand why a nurse and doctor would not be more concerned about their health!!</end quote></div>

Exactly what I thought/think. I have talked with my aunt and she acts concerned but then does nothing. My mom does not have any type of insurance and neither do the kids. I found a book that I think they should read but not living in the same city I can't garantee she would let them have it. Anytime they want to talk about it in front of her she won't let us. I try to tell them what I can when we have time alone so. I don't know I feel like I been having this fight with her for too long...I just don't know what the heck she thinks she is doing. I don't get it. I appreciate your comments as well. Thanks.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i> i can't understand why a nurse and doctor would not be more concerned about their health!!</end quote>

Exactly what I thought/think. I have talked with my aunt and she acts concerned but then does nothing. My mom does not have any type of insurance and neither do the kids. I found a book that I think they should read but not living in the same city I can't garantee she would let them have it. Anytime they want to talk about it in front of her she won't let us. I try to tell them what I can when we have time alone so. I don't know I feel like I been having this fight with her for too long...I just don't know what the heck she thinks she is doing. I don't get it. I appreciate your comments as well. Thanks.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i> i can't understand why a nurse and doctor would not be more concerned about their health!!</end quote>

Exactly what I thought/think. I have talked with my aunt and she acts concerned but then does nothing. My mom does not have any type of insurance and neither do the kids. I found a book that I think they should read but not living in the same city I can't garantee she would let them have it. Anytime they want to talk about it in front of her she won't let us. I try to tell them what I can when we have time alone so. I don't know I feel like I been having this fight with her for too long...I just don't know what the heck she thinks she is doing. I don't get it. I appreciate your comments as well. Thanks.

 

[izemmom]

I agree that talking openly to the kids is probably the way to go. It will be tough. They may deny that there is a problem with thier health and be angy...even accuse you of being disloyal to your mother. But, they have a life-shortening illness. They need to know facts. They are old enough to start taking some responsibility. If they begin to understand the importance of getting proper care, they can gradually start asking your mom to step up. She may not resist as much coming from them.

This is a heartbreaking situation. The best you can do might be to educate them. I can only imagine how their health is right now. Think how much more they'll get out of life with proper medical care. Do whatever it takes. Good Luck.

 

[izemmom]

I agree that talking openly to the kids is probably the way to go. It will be tough. They may deny that there is a problem with thier health and be angy...even accuse you of being disloyal to your mother. But, they have a life-shortening illness. They need to know facts. They are old enough to start taking some responsibility. If they begin to understand the importance of getting proper care, they can gradually start asking your mom to step up. She may not resist as much coming from them.

This is a heartbreaking situation. The best you can do might be to educate them. I can only imagine how their health is right now. Think how much more they'll get out of life with proper medical care. Do whatever it takes. Good Luck.

 

[izemmom]

I agree that talking openly to the kids is probably the way to go. It will be tough. They may deny that there is a problem with thier health and be angy...even accuse you of being disloyal to your mother. But, they have a life-shortening illness. They need to know facts. They are old enough to start taking some responsibility. If they begin to understand the importance of getting proper care, they can gradually start asking your mom to step up. She may not resist as much coming from them.

This is a heartbreaking situation. The best you can do might be to educate them. I can only imagine how their health is right now. Think how much more they'll get out of life with proper medical care. Do whatever it takes. Good Luck.

 

[izemmom]

I agree that talking openly to the kids is probably the way to go. It will be tough. They may deny that there is a problem with thier health and be angy...even accuse you of being disloyal to your mother. But, they have a life-shortening illness. They need to know facts. They are old enough to start taking some responsibility. If they begin to understand the importance of getting proper care, they can gradually start asking your mom to step up. She may not resist as much coming from them.

This is a heartbreaking situation. The best you can do might be to educate them. I can only imagine how their health is right now. Think how much more they'll get out of life with proper medical care. Do whatever it takes. Good Luck.

 

[izemmom]

I agree that talking openly to the kids is probably the way to go. It will be tough. They may deny that there is a problem with thier health and be angy...even accuse you of being disloyal to your mother. But, they have a life-shortening illness. They need to know facts. They are old enough to start taking some responsibility. If they begin to understand the importance of getting proper care, they can gradually start asking your mom to step up. She may not resist as much coming from them.

This is a heartbreaking situation. The best you can do might be to educate them. I can only imagine how their health is right now. Think how much more they'll get out of life with proper medical care. Do whatever it takes. Good Luck.

 

[izemmom]

I agree that talking openly to the kids is probably the way to go. It will be tough. They may deny that there is a problem with thier health and be angy...even accuse you of being disloyal to your mother. But, they have a life-shortening illness. They need to know facts. They are old enough to start taking some responsibility. If they begin to understand the importance of getting proper care, they can gradually start asking your mom to step up. She may not resist as much coming from them.

This is a heartbreaking situation. The best you can do might be to educate them. I can only imagine how their health is right now. Think how much more they'll get out of life with proper medical care. Do whatever it takes. Good Luck.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

Thank you all again. I just don't know how to tell them without upsetting them....Or is that even possible. They know they have it but they don't really know how it is going to effect their lives. My mom is always saying how good they have been doing since they haven't spent evey waking moment with doctors and at the hospitals so....once again...I dunno. I will be risking her not letting me be there with them if I piss her off. If that makes sense? Just trying to figure out the best way to get the doors opened here. She is around most of the time when I am around them so I am just not sure how to approach it even. The little we do talk about it. I did tell them a while back they will have to take their health into their own hands the moment they are old enough to get help on their own because mom isn't doing anything about it. But I am not so sure I got the point across as well as I wanted to.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

Thank you all again. I just don't know how to tell them without upsetting them....Or is that even possible. They know they have it but they don't really know how it is going to effect their lives. My mom is always saying how good they have been doing since they haven't spent evey waking moment with doctors and at the hospitals so....once again...I dunno. I will be risking her not letting me be there with them if I piss her off. If that makes sense? Just trying to figure out the best way to get the doors opened here. She is around most of the time when I am around them so I am just not sure how to approach it even. The little we do talk about it. I did tell them a while back they will have to take their health into their own hands the moment they are old enough to get help on their own because mom isn't doing anything about it. But I am not so sure I got the point across as well as I wanted to.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

Thank you all again. I just don't know how to tell them without upsetting them....Or is that even possible. They know they have it but they don't really know how it is going to effect their lives. My mom is always saying how good they have been doing since they haven't spent evey waking moment with doctors and at the hospitals so....once again...I dunno. I will be risking her not letting me be there with them if I piss her off. If that makes sense? Just trying to figure out the best way to get the doors opened here. She is around most of the time when I am around them so I am just not sure how to approach it even. The little we do talk about it. I did tell them a while back they will have to take their health into their own hands the moment they are old enough to get help on their own because mom isn't doing anything about it. But I am not so sure I got the point across as well as I wanted to.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

Thank you all again. I just don't know how to tell them without upsetting them....Or is that even possible. They know they have it but they don't really know how it is going to effect their lives. My mom is always saying how good they have been doing since they haven't spent evey waking moment with doctors and at the hospitals so....once again...I dunno. I will be risking her not letting me be there with them if I piss her off. If that makes sense? Just trying to figure out the best way to get the doors opened here. She is around most of the time when I am around them so I am just not sure how to approach it even. The little we do talk about it. I did tell them a while back they will have to take their health into their own hands the moment they are old enough to get help on their own because mom isn't doing anything about it. But I am not so sure I got the point across as well as I wanted to.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

Thank you all again. I just don't know how to tell them without upsetting them....Or is that even possible. They know they have it but they don't really know how it is going to effect their lives. My mom is always saying how good they have been doing since they haven't spent evey waking moment with doctors and at the hospitals so....once again...I dunno. I will be risking her not letting me be there with them if I piss her off. If that makes sense? Just trying to figure out the best way to get the doors opened here. She is around most of the time when I am around them so I am just not sure how to approach it even. The little we do talk about it. I did tell them a while back they will have to take their health into their own hands the moment they are old enough to get help on their own because mom isn't doing anything about it. But I am not so sure I got the point across as well as I wanted to.

 

[suziecoffeebean]

Thank you all again. I just don't know how to tell them without upsetting them....Or is that even possible. They know they have it but they don't really know how it is going to effect their lives. My mom is always saying how good they have been doing since they haven't spent evey waking moment with doctors and at the hospitals so....once again...I dunno. I will be risking her not letting me be there with them if I piss her off. If that makes sense? Just trying to figure out the best way to get the doors opened here. She is around most of the time when I am around them so I am just not sure how to approach it even. The little we do talk about it. I did tell them a while back they will have to take their health into their own hands the moment they are old enough to get help on their own because mom isn't doing anything about it. But I am not so sure I got the point across as well as I wanted to.

 

[okok]

I guess if i were you i would try to break it to them gently and gradually over a period of time....you know sort of slowly building on the previous info you have given them. Emphasize how much they can do to effect their health. If you make it seem like something they have power over it will be much easier for them. If it upsets your mom to hear you talk about it, i would suggest that you go on a walk to the park or grab a mocha at a cafe with them privately. Try not to blame your mom when you discuss it with them. Try to help them understand that it may be painful for you mom to think of them as having a genetic disease and so it might be easier for her to believe that they don't have it or are better off without doctors. I think that being gentle, compassionate and supportive of your mom is the best way to win her over at this point although i COMPLETELY understand how angry you must be with her (and you have every right to be.) Unfortunately i don't think anger or blame will help you get the outcome you desire. It will only antagonize her and cause her to strenghen her stance against you and alienate you from her (and possibly the kids). On the other hand it may be that no matter how gentle and compassionate you are towards your mother, she wont budge but at least she won't have much to go on for building a case against you.

Also do they like sports or any sort of exersize....?? I really believe exersize is HUGELY important in keeping CFer's healthy. If this is something they already enjoy then it is a great way for them to motivate them to take care of their health. Of course, if they haven't been treated in a while and have bad digestive problems they might feel exhausted and tired.... so they might need enzymes to get them nutritionally on track before either of them could imagine exersizing.

 

[okok]

I guess if i were you i would try to break it to them gently and gradually over a period of time....you know sort of slowly building on the previous info you have given them. Emphasize how much they can do to effect their health. If you make it seem like something they have power over it will be much easier for them. If it upsets your mom to hear you talk about it, i would suggest that you go on a walk to the park or grab a mocha at a cafe with them privately. Try not to blame your mom when you discuss it with them. Try to help them understand that it may be painful for you mom to think of them as having a genetic disease and so it might be easier for her to believe that they don't have it or are better off without doctors. I think that being gentle, compassionate and supportive of your mom is the best way to win her over at this point although i COMPLETELY understand how angry you must be with her (and you have every right to be.) Unfortunately i don't think anger or blame will help you get the outcome you desire. It will only antagonize her and cause her to strenghen her stance against you and alienate you from her (and possibly the kids). On the other hand it may be that no matter how gentle and compassionate you are towards your mother, she wont budge but at least she won't have much to go on for building a case against you.

Also do they like sports or any sort of exersize....?? I really believe exersize is HUGELY important in keeping CFer's healthy. If this is something they already enjoy then it is a great way for them to motivate them to take care of their health. Of course, if they haven't been treated in a while and have bad digestive problems they might feel exhausted and tired.... so they might need enzymes to get them nutritionally on track before either of them could imagine exersizing.