littledebbie
New member
Mom2lillian you make good points about why someone would post this question on the internet. I concede. I apologize for critizing that.
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Help me am i making the right decision?
- Thread starter Vampy
- Start date
While I will disagree with Amy on the point that a child needs two parents to turn out well (just about every friend I have comes from a broken home, including Rick, who is the most well-adjusted person I know), I don't see why the suggestion of adoption is so demonized. Remember, this is a discussion about the best interests of the CHILD, which should come first in any situation. Depending on the severity, its hard for some Cystic Fibrosis patients to take care of <i>themselves</i>, let alone a child who can't do anything for itself and is completely dependant on the mother. And that's aside from the complications of a messy divorce and abusive husband.
Vampy, while I find your situation difficult and can understand the emotional ramifications that may come from putting your child up for adoption, I urge you to at least keep that suggestion in the back of your mind should your situation become all the more unstable. I am also with Debbie in questioning the judgment involved in this entire mess. For me, the real question would be as to why anyone would even risk pregancy with a man they did not intend to marry, but that goes way back and is neither here nor there at this point. I will admit that I don't even know the whole story, but based on my moral judgements, the whole thing seems out of place.
Either way, however, I do hope that you can get yourself out of this situation safely, Vampy. But please put the interests of the child first, whatever you decide.
Vampy, while I find your situation difficult and can understand the emotional ramifications that may come from putting your child up for adoption, I urge you to at least keep that suggestion in the back of your mind should your situation become all the more unstable. I am also with Debbie in questioning the judgment involved in this entire mess. For me, the real question would be as to why anyone would even risk pregancy with a man they did not intend to marry, but that goes way back and is neither here nor there at this point. I will admit that I don't even know the whole story, but based on my moral judgements, the whole thing seems out of place.
Either way, however, I do hope that you can get yourself out of this situation safely, Vampy. But please put the interests of the child first, whatever you decide.
While I will disagree with Amy on the point that a child needs two parents to turn out well (just about every friend I have comes from a broken home, including Rick, who is the most well-adjusted person I know), I don't see why the suggestion of adoption is so demonized. Remember, this is a discussion about the best interests of the CHILD, which should come first in any situation. Depending on the severity, its hard for some Cystic Fibrosis patients to take care of <i>themselves</i>, let alone a child who can't do anything for itself and is completely dependant on the mother. And that's aside from the complications of a messy divorce and abusive husband.
Vampy, while I find your situation difficult and can understand the emotional ramifications that may come from putting your child up for adoption, I urge you to at least keep that suggestion in the back of your mind should your situation become all the more unstable. I am also with Debbie in questioning the judgment involved in this entire mess. For me, the real question would be as to why anyone would even risk pregancy with a man they did not intend to marry, but that goes way back and is neither here nor there at this point. I will admit that I don't even know the whole story, but based on my moral judgements, the whole thing seems out of place.
Either way, however, I do hope that you can get yourself out of this situation safely, Vampy. But please put the interests of the child first, whatever you decide.
Vampy, while I find your situation difficult and can understand the emotional ramifications that may come from putting your child up for adoption, I urge you to at least keep that suggestion in the back of your mind should your situation become all the more unstable. I am also with Debbie in questioning the judgment involved in this entire mess. For me, the real question would be as to why anyone would even risk pregancy with a man they did not intend to marry, but that goes way back and is neither here nor there at this point. I will admit that I don't even know the whole story, but based on my moral judgements, the whole thing seems out of place.
Either way, however, I do hope that you can get yourself out of this situation safely, Vampy. But please put the interests of the child first, whatever you decide.
While I will disagree with Amy on the point that a child needs two parents to turn out well (just about every friend I have comes from a broken home, including Rick, who is the most well-adjusted person I know), I don't see why the suggestion of adoption is so demonized. Remember, this is a discussion about the best interests of the CHILD, which should come first in any situation. Depending on the severity, its hard for some Cystic Fibrosis patients to take care of <i>themselves</i>, let alone a child who can't do anything for itself and is completely dependant on the mother. And that's aside from the complications of a messy divorce and abusive husband.
Vampy, while I find your situation difficult and can understand the emotional ramifications that may come from putting your child up for adoption, I urge you to at least keep that suggestion in the back of your mind should your situation become all the more unstable. I am also with Debbie in questioning the judgment involved in this entire mess. For me, the real question would be as to why anyone would even risk pregancy with a man they did not intend to marry, but that goes way back and is neither here nor there at this point. I will admit that I don't even know the whole story, but based on my moral judgements, the whole thing seems out of place.
Either way, however, I do hope that you can get yourself out of this situation safely, Vampy. But please put the interests of the child first, whatever you decide.
Vampy, while I find your situation difficult and can understand the emotional ramifications that may come from putting your child up for adoption, I urge you to at least keep that suggestion in the back of your mind should your situation become all the more unstable. I am also with Debbie in questioning the judgment involved in this entire mess. For me, the real question would be as to why anyone would even risk pregancy with a man they did not intend to marry, but that goes way back and is neither here nor there at this point. I will admit that I don't even know the whole story, but based on my moral judgements, the whole thing seems out of place.
Either way, however, I do hope that you can get yourself out of this situation safely, Vampy. But please put the interests of the child first, whatever you decide.
D
DarceyMaysey
Guest
I hope you follow the advice about going to a shelter. Check into Section 8...if you are in a shelter you get bumped to the top of the list because you are considered to be homeless. You can also get bumped to the top of the list for having CF. Also check into TANF. In my state if you are on TANF you can get daycare, medical and foodstamps while you go to school. Feel free to PM me if you need help finding out about services that are available in your area. Good luck!
Darcey 36f w/ CF
P.S. I have CF and am a single mom so it can be done. It can get pretty rough sometimes so I hope you have some supportive people in your life. If your husband has alienated you from friends and family contact them when you and Lucas are in a safe place. Please let us know what you decide to do!
Darcey 36f w/ CF
P.S. I have CF and am a single mom so it can be done. It can get pretty rough sometimes so I hope you have some supportive people in your life. If your husband has alienated you from friends and family contact them when you and Lucas are in a safe place. Please let us know what you decide to do!
D
DarceyMaysey
Guest
I hope you follow the advice about going to a shelter. Check into Section 8...if you are in a shelter you get bumped to the top of the list because you are considered to be homeless. You can also get bumped to the top of the list for having CF. Also check into TANF. In my state if you are on TANF you can get daycare, medical and foodstamps while you go to school. Feel free to PM me if you need help finding out about services that are available in your area. Good luck!
Darcey 36f w/ CF
P.S. I have CF and am a single mom so it can be done. It can get pretty rough sometimes so I hope you have some supportive people in your life. If your husband has alienated you from friends and family contact them when you and Lucas are in a safe place. Please let us know what you decide to do!
Darcey 36f w/ CF
P.S. I have CF and am a single mom so it can be done. It can get pretty rough sometimes so I hope you have some supportive people in your life. If your husband has alienated you from friends and family contact them when you and Lucas are in a safe place. Please let us know what you decide to do!
D
DarceyMaysey
Guest
I hope you follow the advice about going to a shelter. Check into Section 8...if you are in a shelter you get bumped to the top of the list because you are considered to be homeless. You can also get bumped to the top of the list for having CF. Also check into TANF. In my state if you are on TANF you can get daycare, medical and foodstamps while you go to school. Feel free to PM me if you need help finding out about services that are available in your area. Good luck!
Darcey 36f w/ CF
P.S. I have CF and am a single mom so it can be done. It can get pretty rough sometimes so I hope you have some supportive people in your life. If your husband has alienated you from friends and family contact them when you and Lucas are in a safe place. Please let us know what you decide to do!
Darcey 36f w/ CF
P.S. I have CF and am a single mom so it can be done. It can get pretty rough sometimes so I hope you have some supportive people in your life. If your husband has alienated you from friends and family contact them when you and Lucas are in a safe place. Please let us know what you decide to do!
mom2lillian
New member
wow Debbie-thanks for the note. It is nice that you not only considered the other side of the coin but were willing to admit that you did and that it might be valid!
thanks!
Vampy-what are you thinking?
thanks!
Vampy-what are you thinking?
mom2lillian
New member
wow Debbie-thanks for the note. It is nice that you not only considered the other side of the coin but were willing to admit that you did and that it might be valid!
thanks!
Vampy-what are you thinking?
thanks!
Vampy-what are you thinking?
mom2lillian
New member
wow Debbie-thanks for the note. It is nice that you not only considered the other side of the coin but were willing to admit that you did and that it might be valid!
thanks!
Vampy-what are you thinking?
thanks!
Vampy-what are you thinking?
ok for one i will not NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT put my child up for adoption!! like sashanna said we sacrifice our bodies and health to have our children and i do not wish to hear of adoption anymore. THATS like me telling you to put your child up for adoption due to a relationship break down.
for another i posted this on here bc i figured you guys would understand what the hell i was going through and would have had some suggestions or something and thank you to the ppl that did andi appreciate that. i dont like being critisized about putting up a help me post.
If you dont like my post or dont see the reason to fully post it on here then dont reply to it. keep your negativity to yourselves.
ANYWAYS talked it over with mom. shes giving me the money to get my own place bc the government messed up my dads taxes and owe him LOTS of cash so she is gonna help me . meanwhile im going to the courthouse to file temporary custody of lucas. Going other places and getting things done so i have a soft spot to land on.
for another i posted this on here bc i figured you guys would understand what the hell i was going through and would have had some suggestions or something and thank you to the ppl that did andi appreciate that. i dont like being critisized about putting up a help me post.
If you dont like my post or dont see the reason to fully post it on here then dont reply to it. keep your negativity to yourselves.
ANYWAYS talked it over with mom. shes giving me the money to get my own place bc the government messed up my dads taxes and owe him LOTS of cash so she is gonna help me . meanwhile im going to the courthouse to file temporary custody of lucas. Going other places and getting things done so i have a soft spot to land on.
ok for one i will not NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT put my child up for adoption!! like sashanna said we sacrifice our bodies and health to have our children and i do not wish to hear of adoption anymore. THATS like me telling you to put your child up for adoption due to a relationship break down.
for another i posted this on here bc i figured you guys would understand what the hell i was going through and would have had some suggestions or something and thank you to the ppl that did andi appreciate that. i dont like being critisized about putting up a help me post.
If you dont like my post or dont see the reason to fully post it on here then dont reply to it. keep your negativity to yourselves.
ANYWAYS talked it over with mom. shes giving me the money to get my own place bc the government messed up my dads taxes and owe him LOTS of cash so she is gonna help me . meanwhile im going to the courthouse to file temporary custody of lucas. Going other places and getting things done so i have a soft spot to land on.
for another i posted this on here bc i figured you guys would understand what the hell i was going through and would have had some suggestions or something and thank you to the ppl that did andi appreciate that. i dont like being critisized about putting up a help me post.
If you dont like my post or dont see the reason to fully post it on here then dont reply to it. keep your negativity to yourselves.
ANYWAYS talked it over with mom. shes giving me the money to get my own place bc the government messed up my dads taxes and owe him LOTS of cash so she is gonna help me . meanwhile im going to the courthouse to file temporary custody of lucas. Going other places and getting things done so i have a soft spot to land on.
ok for one i will not NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT put my child up for adoption!! like sashanna said we sacrifice our bodies and health to have our children and i do not wish to hear of adoption anymore. THATS like me telling you to put your child up for adoption due to a relationship break down.
for another i posted this on here bc i figured you guys would understand what the hell i was going through and would have had some suggestions or something and thank you to the ppl that did andi appreciate that. i dont like being critisized about putting up a help me post.
If you dont like my post or dont see the reason to fully post it on here then dont reply to it. keep your negativity to yourselves.
ANYWAYS talked it over with mom. shes giving me the money to get my own place bc the government messed up my dads taxes and owe him LOTS of cash so she is gonna help me . meanwhile im going to the courthouse to file temporary custody of lucas. Going other places and getting things done so i have a soft spot to land on.
for another i posted this on here bc i figured you guys would understand what the hell i was going through and would have had some suggestions or something and thank you to the ppl that did andi appreciate that. i dont like being critisized about putting up a help me post.
If you dont like my post or dont see the reason to fully post it on here then dont reply to it. keep your negativity to yourselves.
ANYWAYS talked it over with mom. shes giving me the money to get my own place bc the government messed up my dads taxes and owe him LOTS of cash so she is gonna help me . meanwhile im going to the courthouse to file temporary custody of lucas. Going other places and getting things done so i have a soft spot to land on.
M
MCGrad2006
Guest
Good for you Vampy for taking action! I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted, you and your son are beautiful! Good luck and stay safe.
M
MCGrad2006
Guest
Good for you Vampy for taking action! I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted, you and your son are beautiful! Good luck and stay safe.
M
MCGrad2006
Guest
Good for you Vampy for taking action! I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted, you and your son are beautiful! Good luck and stay safe.
I agree with some of the other posters and think you should do what is best for the baby. I hope that you have a plan in order or will make one for what will happen to him when you die. It doesn't sound like the father is going to be there. i think that is why people brought up adoption. This isn't like other mothers who leave their husbands, this is a mother with a terminal illness.
I agree with some of the other posters and think you should do what is best for the baby. I hope that you have a plan in order or will make one for what will happen to him when you die. It doesn't sound like the father is going to be there. i think that is why people brought up adoption. This isn't like other mothers who leave their husbands, this is a mother with a terminal illness.
I agree with some of the other posters and think you should do what is best for the baby. I hope that you have a plan in order or will make one for what will happen to him when you die. It doesn't sound like the father is going to be there. i think that is why people brought up adoption. This isn't like other mothers who leave their husbands, this is a mother with a terminal illness.
Vampy, I am glad your mom is able to help you get off to a good start. I wish you and baby Lucas the best of luck. I absolutely understand your reasons for not wanting to put your baby up for adoption and i support your decision. YOU love your baby and made sacrifices for him just to be born, in my opinion putting him up for adoption does NOT guarantee him a good life and a happy home ( what if the adoptive parents divorce? or one of them passes away?) I dont think the subject of adoption was meant to be cruel, but i did think it was going a bit overboard myself. There are lots of single parents out there with well adjusted kids.