I have done research on Domestic Adoption & International Adoption for my own knowledge since my husband and I may be taking that route in the near future.
I have spoken with Kids Peace, Catholic Charities, and Diakon. Also, my husband and I attended an orientation at Diakon.
For Domestic Adoption (Public Adoption) - Most of these children are 5 years and up. They are considered special needs by either race, age, siblings, or mental, physical, emotional issues. They could have any combination of these. They often require some sort of counseling and constant supervision for an extented period of time. These children are in many cases not adopted-out to parents with prior children due to their extensive needs.
There are on occassion children under the age of 5-years-old. However, these children suffer with maybe Fetal Acohol Syndrome, HIV, CF, Down's, or other life-threating disease or disorders. These children are up for public adoption because finding a proper equipped family is very difficult.
My husband and I looked into this a few months ago decided this was not for us. We are both 25 and this would be our first child. I'm not saying we had to adopt a baby by any means, but we were hoping to adopt a baby/toddler no more than 2-years-old. When we went to the hour orientation, you could tell they really didn't take interest into us. They were looking for foster families, or families willing to adopt an older child or sibling group. Plus, I told them I had CF, which I could see backed them up a few feet. They said it could take 2-3 years for a 2-year-old. They kept trying to push an older child. We both said, "no", because we are only 25!!! Just because I have CF and may not be able to have a child naturally shouldn't mean that I must "settle" for an older child. This would be our first child. I think I have a right to be able to at least adopt the child of my choice.
So, we ruled out domestic adoption. There is the fost-adopt program which gives you access to any infact; however, you are a foster parent only and for 2-3 years. In that 2-3 years, the child may end up yours or may go back to the biological parents. Both my husband and I weren't willing to take that risk. We may not be able to have biological children yet they give you this child saying that it's yours someday when truthfully it may not be. I couldn't imagine raising this child for 2-3 years and having to give it up. Plus for those 2-3 years, you take the child to visitation, which may be unsupervised. It's a lot of running and emotional roller coasters.
International Adoption - With this option, you have access to adopting babies with fewer health-issues vs. Domestic Adoption. In my opinion, this is what method I would go to adopt if we so choose to. Yes, it carries a hefty price tag, but it would be so worth it. We have to take out an adoption loan because really who has $30,000 right now on the spot? I do think the cost to adopt a child in need is ridiculous, but these "baby businesses" know that you WILL pay it for a child. That is the name of their game - and they are right.
However, you must look at the requirements for each country prior to stepping into the ring. I HAVE CF. Many adoption agencies already turn their head no matter how good I am, no matter what life-expectency my doc states, no matter whether I run 2 miles a day or not, and so on. The last thing you want to do is start something and be unable to finish.
My personal choice has always been to seeking a natural, biological pregnancy first. If achieved, great. If not, I would turn to adoption. Even if I achieved a natural pregnancy and wanted more children, I wished to adopt. I did not/do not have any intentions of having more than 1 pregnancy.
I do feel strongly, though, that the adoption/fostering system needs amends. To adopt younger children, there is such a wait. By law, parental rights are to be terminated after 18 months if the parents are still "unfit". Well, my county, Schuylkill County, ignores that law. Parental rights drag on for as much as 5 years, and the county gets away with it. My husband and I were advised to adopt from Berks County by Diakon (an agency) because of how corrupt our county is. All the agencies that we looked into were from out-of-county. But then, you are flagged because you don't live nearby. So infants are available, but unattainable because of the system. It's the systems fault that there are as many older children in the system that there is. They make it that way.
Private adoption is something that I have only recently been introduced to. I'm only learning about that right now so I can't comment.
Well, I'm sure that's plenty enough of a life story. Sorry about that. I just thought you wanted some questions answered, and I had lots of answers. Take care!
