Insensitive people!

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Lilith

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

Damn, Allie...you go, girl! Honestly, I don't see why the subject of death is so taboo, either. Everyone dies of something someday. Its just life in general.

Lauren, I also don't think it was said to be mean, but because it was his way of making that little connection with you. As already mentioned, use it as an opportunity for awareness.
 
L

Lilith

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

Damn, Allie...you go, girl! Honestly, I don't see why the subject of death is so taboo, either. Everyone dies of something someday. Its just life in general.

Lauren, I also don't think it was said to be mean, but because it was his way of making that little connection with you. As already mentioned, use it as an opportunity for awareness.
 
L

Lilith

New member
<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>Allie</b></i>

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote>Just because a person knows someone that had CF who passed doesnt mean they are obligated to pass on the bad news. </end quote></div>





I guess I'll have to start introducing myself in Cf situations as "Allie, 33, and I can't mention my link to CF because it would be insensitive." In fact, why mention him at all if it might upset someone? Then, Ahava should never speak his name either. And he can become a whispered, forgotten memory of the past, like most dead people because our culture is more comfortable talking about sex, drugs, and gossip than death. And when the rest of us die, our children will not mention our names to others either, for fear of being insensitive.



Ignore me, I'll just go back to my hole.</end quote></div>

Damn, Allie...you go, girl! Honestly, I don't see why the subject of death is so taboo, either. Everyone dies of something someday. Its just life in general.

Lauren, I also don't think it was said to be mean, but because it was his way of making that little connection with you. As already mentioned, use it as an opportunity for awareness.
 
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ReneeP

New member
I would just like to point out that in the original post this person who was being "insensitive" was referring to a person he didn't even really know personally. That is what is insensitive about it. He was just trying to pull something out of his hat to make it sound like he could relate to the person he was talking to. There is a big difference between doing that and discussing a child or spouse or someone close to you whom you have lost. If one of my daughters were to die of CF, I would not hide that fact. However, I also would not run up to everyone I think might have a relationship with someone who has CF and throw it at them either.

There has to be some tact in the world. If someone comes to you asking you for info on CF, by all means, give them the info they are asking for. But if what you have to say does not benefit someone, its best left unsaid. There's no point. Some people just talk to hear themselves sound important. Just to prove that they know something... regardless of what affect it has on the other person. Those are the people I believe are insensitive.
 
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ReneeP

New member
I would just like to point out that in the original post this person who was being "insensitive" was referring to a person he didn't even really know personally. That is what is insensitive about it. He was just trying to pull something out of his hat to make it sound like he could relate to the person he was talking to. There is a big difference between doing that and discussing a child or spouse or someone close to you whom you have lost. If one of my daughters were to die of CF, I would not hide that fact. However, I also would not run up to everyone I think might have a relationship with someone who has CF and throw it at them either.

There has to be some tact in the world. If someone comes to you asking you for info on CF, by all means, give them the info they are asking for. But if what you have to say does not benefit someone, its best left unsaid. There's no point. Some people just talk to hear themselves sound important. Just to prove that they know something... regardless of what affect it has on the other person. Those are the people I believe are insensitive.
 
R

ReneeP

New member
I would just like to point out that in the original post this person who was being "insensitive" was referring to a person he didn't even really know personally. That is what is insensitive about it. He was just trying to pull something out of his hat to make it sound like he could relate to the person he was talking to. There is a big difference between doing that and discussing a child or spouse or someone close to you whom you have lost. If one of my daughters were to die of CF, I would not hide that fact. However, I also would not run up to everyone I think might have a relationship with someone who has CF and throw it at them either.

There has to be some tact in the world. If someone comes to you asking you for info on CF, by all means, give them the info they are asking for. But if what you have to say does not benefit someone, its best left unsaid. There's no point. Some people just talk to hear themselves sound important. Just to prove that they know something... regardless of what affect it has on the other person. Those are the people I believe are insensitive.
 
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lauren

New member
Hey,

Well some of u asked why I mentioned it in the interview. I have IV's lately about twice a year, and thus I might have to take off work, as it would be hard to cope with varsity, work and an IV. So I want to be upfront about it. Because I have good marks at varsity plus a part-time job already, the person can see that I am coping fine with the disease. Anywayz I got a phone call today from him saying I got the job! And like many suggested I did wish I had used it as a chance to raise awareness.

And yes I know "facts are facts" sakasuka I know to well of these facts, I just don't need a stranger throwing it in my face!

And Allie, I think it's different when you mention a loved one died from it, however as I said I got the impression he didn't even know the person.

Lauren
19 w, cf
 
L

lauren

New member
Hey,

Well some of u asked why I mentioned it in the interview. I have IV's lately about twice a year, and thus I might have to take off work, as it would be hard to cope with varsity, work and an IV. So I want to be upfront about it. Because I have good marks at varsity plus a part-time job already, the person can see that I am coping fine with the disease. Anywayz I got a phone call today from him saying I got the job! And like many suggested I did wish I had used it as a chance to raise awareness.

And yes I know "facts are facts" sakasuka I know to well of these facts, I just don't need a stranger throwing it in my face!

And Allie, I think it's different when you mention a loved one died from it, however as I said I got the impression he didn't even know the person.

Lauren
19 w, cf
 
L

lauren

New member
Hey,

Well some of u asked why I mentioned it in the interview. I have IV's lately about twice a year, and thus I might have to take off work, as it would be hard to cope with varsity, work and an IV. So I want to be upfront about it. Because I have good marks at varsity plus a part-time job already, the person can see that I am coping fine with the disease. Anywayz I got a phone call today from him saying I got the job! And like many suggested I did wish I had used it as a chance to raise awareness.

And yes I know "facts are facts" sakasuka I know to well of these facts, I just don't need a stranger throwing it in my face!

And Allie, I think it's different when you mention a loved one died from it, however as I said I got the impression he didn't even know the person.

Lauren
19 w, cf
 
L

lauren

New member
Hi!

thank you RenneP. I think I would have taken it totally different if this person had been a loved one of his. But like i said it sounded like no-one he knew personally!!!
 
L

lauren

New member
Hi!

thank you RenneP. I think I would have taken it totally different if this person had been a loved one of his. But like i said it sounded like no-one he knew personally!!!
 
L

lauren

New member
Hi!

thank you RenneP. I think I would have taken it totally different if this person had been a loved one of his. But like i said it sounded like no-one he knew personally!!!
 
C

CowTown

New member
I don't find it rude when people mention someone they knew who had cf and has died. I just had that experience with my neighbor 2 months ago, but it was his niece who died. I don't find it rude, but I would feel rude by saying it. I would never tell someone who has cancer that I knew someone who died of cancer. But I don't mind hearing it from someon else, it's reality. Especially since the awareness of CF isn't as high as so many other illnesses, so when someone knows of it, they try to relate however they can. That's what I have found.

I have a story of someone who I thought was being rude and insensitive though. I was about 16 years old and my PFT guy asked me if I was hoping to get married one day. Then went on to say, that he "would never marry someone with cf." I asked why, he said he wouldn't for fear of them dying. That line has stuck with me all these years and brought up a few issues for me when it was time for me to get married. I thought that was extremely insensitive of him to say to me....especially b/c he was the PFT guy at the Children's Hospital!
 
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CowTown

New member
I don't find it rude when people mention someone they knew who had cf and has died. I just had that experience with my neighbor 2 months ago, but it was his niece who died. I don't find it rude, but I would feel rude by saying it. I would never tell someone who has cancer that I knew someone who died of cancer. But I don't mind hearing it from someon else, it's reality. Especially since the awareness of CF isn't as high as so many other illnesses, so when someone knows of it, they try to relate however they can. That's what I have found.

I have a story of someone who I thought was being rude and insensitive though. I was about 16 years old and my PFT guy asked me if I was hoping to get married one day. Then went on to say, that he "would never marry someone with cf." I asked why, he said he wouldn't for fear of them dying. That line has stuck with me all these years and brought up a few issues for me when it was time for me to get married. I thought that was extremely insensitive of him to say to me....especially b/c he was the PFT guy at the Children's Hospital!
 
C

CowTown

New member
I don't find it rude when people mention someone they knew who had cf and has died. I just had that experience with my neighbor 2 months ago, but it was his niece who died. I don't find it rude, but I would feel rude by saying it. I would never tell someone who has cancer that I knew someone who died of cancer. But I don't mind hearing it from someon else, it's reality. Especially since the awareness of CF isn't as high as so many other illnesses, so when someone knows of it, they try to relate however they can. That's what I have found.

I have a story of someone who I thought was being rude and insensitive though. I was about 16 years old and my PFT guy asked me if I was hoping to get married one day. Then went on to say, that he "would never marry someone with cf." I asked why, he said he wouldn't for fear of them dying. That line has stuck with me all these years and brought up a few issues for me when it was time for me to get married. I thought that was extremely insensitive of him to say to me....especially b/c he was the PFT guy at the Children's Hospital!
 
A

Allie

New member
Yes Kelly, that's a great example of someone actually being insensitive and rude...so's kj's "The skinny ones die" .....

Not on Cf, but I got one yesterday with someone saying, in regards to remarriage "Allie, it's like a dress, you get one, it wears out, and you get rid of it and get a new one!"
 
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Allie

New member
Yes Kelly, that's a great example of someone actually being insensitive and rude...so's kj's "The skinny ones die" .....

Not on Cf, but I got one yesterday with someone saying, in regards to remarriage "Allie, it's like a dress, you get one, it wears out, and you get rid of it and get a new one!"
 
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