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Question for Spouses
- Thread starter Emily65Roses
- Start date
This: <blockquote>Quote<br><hr>Might I suggest that by saying that we are in the wrong for not being under lock and key that you are practicing a bit of rationalization and blame the victim. Something like "Sorry judge, I should not have assaulted that woman, but she should not have been out at night and she shouldn't have been wearing clothes that made me lose control." Just something to think about... <hr></blockquote>
Also Irritates me. Isn't that exactly what you're saying? "It's not my fault I cheat, my spouse is sick." "Honestly sir, when I said in sickness and health I didn't think he'd get sick!"
As has been pointed out, Miesl and I are wellspouses, and so techinically we have every right to be there.
Also Irritates me. Isn't that exactly what you're saying? "It's not my fault I cheat, my spouse is sick." "Honestly sir, when I said in sickness and health I didn't think he'd get sick!"
As has been pointed out, Miesl and I are wellspouses, and so techinically we have every right to be there.
This: <blockquote>Quote<br><hr>Might I suggest that by saying that we are in the wrong for not being under lock and key that you are practicing a bit of rationalization and blame the victim. Something like "Sorry judge, I should not have assaulted that woman, but she should not have been out at night and she shouldn't have been wearing clothes that made me lose control." Just something to think about... <hr></blockquote>
Also Irritates me. Isn't that exactly what you're saying? "It's not my fault I cheat, my spouse is sick." "Honestly sir, when I said in sickness and health I didn't think he'd get sick!"
As has been pointed out, Miesl and I are wellspouses, and so techinically we have every right to be there.
Also Irritates me. Isn't that exactly what you're saying? "It's not my fault I cheat, my spouse is sick." "Honestly sir, when I said in sickness and health I didn't think he'd get sick!"
As has been pointed out, Miesl and I are wellspouses, and so techinically we have every right to be there.
Wow. After reading today's posts, I can see that any attempts by WS's to help you all understand where we are coming from are futile. Maybe in ten years or so (when you've hopefully grown up), you will be less self-absorbed and more receptive to actually listening to how WS's can feel after spending years as a caregiver. Perhaps we can then continue the discussion.
p.s. Don't worry. I won't let the door hit me.
p.s. Don't worry. I won't let the door hit me.
Wow. After reading today's posts, I can see that any attempts by WS's to help you all understand where we are coming from are futile. Maybe in ten years or so (when you've hopefully grown up), you will be less self-absorbed and more receptive to actually listening to how WS's can feel after spending years as a caregiver. Perhaps we can then continue the discussion.
p.s. Don't worry. I won't let the door hit me.
p.s. Don't worry. I won't let the door hit me.
i agree its very wrong! to cheat on the person there with the person they "love" obviously they dont love them that much. Disabled/sick people need love just as much as they do. It just disgusts me how people can claim to love someone and then cheat on them...spec if its a disabled or sick person. Angers me <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">
i agree its very wrong! to cheat on the person there with the person they "love" obviously they dont love them that much. Disabled/sick people need love just as much as they do. It just disgusts me how people can claim to love someone and then cheat on them...spec if its a disabled or sick person. Angers me <img src="i/expressions/face-icon-small-disgusted.gif" border="0">
Wunderkin23
New member
How can someone being offended by something that was written, and responding by saying they were offended be compaired to BEING A RAPIST?!? That's the whole problem. Nobody was the "victim". Not the WellSpouses OR the people who were offended. And I like discussions like this. Some of us don't need to be sheltered from opposing opinions. A good debate and exchange of ideas is healthy. I enjoy getting all riled up. Just because a discussion is heated, doesn't automatically make it bad....
Wunderkin23
New member
How can someone being offended by something that was written, and responding by saying they were offended be compaired to BEING A RAPIST?!? That's the whole problem. Nobody was the "victim". Not the WellSpouses OR the people who were offended. And I like discussions like this. Some of us don't need to be sheltered from opposing opinions. A good debate and exchange of ideas is healthy. I enjoy getting all riled up. Just because a discussion is heated, doesn't automatically make it bad....
All im saying allie is that if i had a husband who was ill or diabled i wouldnt go cheating on them. Id be there 100 percent all the way to comfort him to love him. Id be there to make sure he takes his treatments and to make sure he eats well. I couldnt see myself running out on him because i cant get laid by someone who cant help it. its not right. Love isnt always about sex.
All im saying allie is that if i had a husband who was ill or diabled i wouldnt go cheating on them. Id be there 100 percent all the way to comfort him to love him. Id be there to make sure he takes his treatments and to make sure he eats well. I couldnt see myself running out on him because i cant get laid by someone who cant help it. its not right. Love isnt always about sex.
either way. my fiance rory could have cheated on me many times from me being to ill to do anything but he didnt he sat there and held me..if i couldnt lift my arm he'd feed me. he showed me love that no one else before had..and in return if he ever gets as sick as me or whatnot ill be there to return the love he gave to me.
either way. my fiance rory could have cheated on me many times from me being to ill to do anything but he didnt he sat there and held me..if i couldnt lift my arm he'd feed me. he showed me love that no one else before had..and in return if he ever gets as sick as me or whatnot ill be there to return the love he gave to me.
Wunderkin23
New member
PS- I in fact DO understand where you're coming from.... I just flat out don't agree. I think people often mix the two up. I've spent 25 years of my life with an illness. Ten more years is going to do nothing to change my views. And I've talked to MY OWN "Well Spouse" and you know what? He thinks you people are nuts to think an illness gives you a license to cheat. (For those WS who feel this way I mean, I realize not everyone on that site holds that opinion). When I read about this, he was the FIRST person I talked to to hear his views. I wanted to know if I was being ridiculous for being upset, and to know how he felt about it being on the opposite side of the fence. But when it all comes down to it, as partners, we're on the same side of the fence at all times. He knows that at some point he's going to have to take care of me. I also on the other side of that realize that at times it's going to feel burdonsome to him. And if I could have it any other way.... trust me, I would. I think it's WAY more self-absorbed to expect people with opposing opinions to hold there tongues because your site doesn't value their opinion than it is for us to openly discuss (Fully accepting comments from opposing views) that we disapprove of something that was said. I listen to my own caregiver. He doesn't expect a pat on the back from anyone, he does what he does because he loves me. And if he wronged me, and then used my illness as an EXCUSE TO EXPLAIN IT AWAY.... well, I'm sorry... I just wouldn't stand for that. In fact, I think it would piss me off more....
I AM listening. I've read every response.... I "hear" you.... you just haven't changed my mind on the matter. And when I feel passionately about something, I don't let it go.
And hell... I'm fired up.
I AM listening. I've read every response.... I "hear" you.... you just haven't changed my mind on the matter. And when I feel passionately about something, I don't let it go.
And hell... I'm fired up.
Wunderkin23
New member
PS- I in fact DO understand where you're coming from.... I just flat out don't agree. I think people often mix the two up. I've spent 25 years of my life with an illness. Ten more years is going to do nothing to change my views. And I've talked to MY OWN "Well Spouse" and you know what? He thinks you people are nuts to think an illness gives you a license to cheat. (For those WS who feel this way I mean, I realize not everyone on that site holds that opinion). When I read about this, he was the FIRST person I talked to to hear his views. I wanted to know if I was being ridiculous for being upset, and to know how he felt about it being on the opposite side of the fence. But when it all comes down to it, as partners, we're on the same side of the fence at all times. He knows that at some point he's going to have to take care of me. I also on the other side of that realize that at times it's going to feel burdonsome to him. And if I could have it any other way.... trust me, I would. I think it's WAY more self-absorbed to expect people with opposing opinions to hold there tongues because your site doesn't value their opinion than it is for us to openly discuss (Fully accepting comments from opposing views) that we disapprove of something that was said. I listen to my own caregiver. He doesn't expect a pat on the back from anyone, he does what he does because he loves me. And if he wronged me, and then used my illness as an EXCUSE TO EXPLAIN IT AWAY.... well, I'm sorry... I just wouldn't stand for that. In fact, I think it would piss me off more....
I AM listening. I've read every response.... I "hear" you.... you just haven't changed my mind on the matter. And when I feel passionately about something, I don't let it go.
And hell... I'm fired up.
I AM listening. I've read every response.... I "hear" you.... you just haven't changed my mind on the matter. And when I feel passionately about something, I don't let it go.
And hell... I'm fired up.