When you thought about having children what did you do?

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>julie</b></i>

I do see it as you holding yourself back and letting your CF limit what you do REGARDING a family.
</end quote>


What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.



<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> Let's not let another converstation that you are a part of blow up into something ugly.... please.</end quote>


Take your own advise Julie then and butt out. If you respond to what's going on, you're contributing to the conversastion.

 

[NoExcuses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>julie</b></i>

I do see it as you holding yourself back and letting your CF limit what you do REGARDING a family.
</end quote>


What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.



<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote> Let's not let another converstation that you are a part of blow up into something ugly.... please.</end quote>


Take your own advise Julie then and butt out. If you respond to what's going on, you're contributing to the conversastion.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.
</end quote></div>

This is a very good point. People these days (speaking in general, don't freak out) tend to take their own wants into account more than the child's. <b>I</b> want a child, <b>I</b> want to be a parent. Not... Is it the best idea for the child? Or... Can I really care for a child properly?

Amy is worrying about the child more than herself, and that takes more guts than most of you want to admit. Mike and I recently came to a similar decision, and it sucks. But we have the sense to know that we probably won't be able to offer a child everything s/he deserves. So we're keeping ourselves out of the decision and making a choice that is best for the as of yet unborn child. Do I still want to be a mother? Does Mike still want to be a father? Certainly. But that want doesn't override the fact that we should only bring a child into the world if we know we can give it everything it deserves. <i>(As I said before, this is our most recent decision. It may change with time, after a tx, who knows. I'm not saying it's set in stone. It's just something we've come to at least for now.)</i>

I'm not saying everyone with CF should not have kids. It's a very personal decision. But don't jump on Amy, because she's made a mature choice. Maybe you don't like it because it makes you feel selfish, I don't know. But if you do, that's your own problem, not hers.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.
</end quote></div>

This is a very good point. People these days (speaking in general, don't freak out) tend to take their own wants into account more than the child's. <b>I</b> want a child, <b>I</b> want to be a parent. Not... Is it the best idea for the child? Or... Can I really care for a child properly?

Amy is worrying about the child more than herself, and that takes more guts than most of you want to admit. Mike and I recently came to a similar decision, and it sucks. But we have the sense to know that we probably won't be able to offer a child everything s/he deserves. So we're keeping ourselves out of the decision and making a choice that is best for the as of yet unborn child. Do I still want to be a mother? Does Mike still want to be a father? Certainly. But that want doesn't override the fact that we should only bring a child into the world if we know we can give it everything it deserves. <i>(As I said before, this is our most recent decision. It may change with time, after a tx, who knows. I'm not saying it's set in stone. It's just something we've come to at least for now.)</i>

I'm not saying everyone with CF should not have kids. It's a very personal decision. But don't jump on Amy, because she's made a mature choice. Maybe you don't like it because it makes you feel selfish, I don't know. But if you do, that's your own problem, not hers.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.
</end quote></div>

This is a very good point. People these days (speaking in general, don't freak out) tend to take their own wants into account more than the child's. <b>I</b> want a child, <b>I</b> want to be a parent. Not... Is it the best idea for the child? Or... Can I really care for a child properly?

Amy is worrying about the child more than herself, and that takes more guts than most of you want to admit. Mike and I recently came to a similar decision, and it sucks. But we have the sense to know that we probably won't be able to offer a child everything s/he deserves. So we're keeping ourselves out of the decision and making a choice that is best for the as of yet unborn child. Do I still want to be a mother? Does Mike still want to be a father? Certainly. But that want doesn't override the fact that we should only bring a child into the world if we know we can give it everything it deserves. <i>(As I said before, this is our most recent decision. It may change with time, after a tx, who knows. I'm not saying it's set in stone. It's just something we've come to at least for now.)</i>

I'm not saying everyone with CF should not have kids. It's a very personal decision. But don't jump on Amy, because she's made a mature choice. Maybe you don't like it because it makes you feel selfish, I don't know. But if you do, that's your own problem, not hers.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.
</end quote></div>

This is a very good point. People these days (speaking in general, don't freak out) tend to take their own wants into account more than the child's. <b>I</b> want a child, <b>I</b> want to be a parent. Not... Is it the best idea for the child? Or... Can I really care for a child properly?

Amy is worrying about the child more than herself, and that takes more guts than most of you want to admit. Mike and I recently came to a similar decision, and it sucks. But we have the sense to know that we probably won't be able to offer a child everything s/he deserves. So we're keeping ourselves out of the decision and making a choice that is best for the as of yet unborn child. Do I still want to be a mother? Does Mike still want to be a father? Certainly. But that want doesn't override the fact that we should only bring a child into the world if we know we can give it everything it deserves. <i>(As I said before, this is our most recent decision. It may change with time, after a tx, who knows. I'm not saying it's set in stone. It's just something we've come to at least for now.)</i>

I'm not saying everyone with CF should not have kids. It's a very personal decision. But don't jump on Amy, because she's made a mature choice. Maybe you don't like it because it makes you feel selfish, I don't know. But if you do, that's your own problem, not hers.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.
</end quote>

This is a very good point. People these days (speaking in general, don't freak out) tend to take their own wants into account more than the child's. <b>I</b> want a child, <b>I</b> want to be a parent. Not... Is it the best idea for the child? Or... Can I really care for a child properly?

Amy is worrying about the child more than herself, and that takes more guts than most of you want to admit. Mike and I recently came to a similar decision, and it sucks. But we have the sense to know that we probably won't be able to offer a child everything s/he deserves. So we're keeping ourselves out of the decision and making a choice that is best for the as of yet unborn child. Do I still want to be a mother? Does Mike still want to be a father? Certainly. But that want doesn't override the fact that we should only bring a child into the world if we know we can give it everything it deserves. <i>(As I said before, this is our most recent decision. It may change with time, after a tx, who knows. I'm not saying it's set in stone. It's just something we've come to at least for now.)</i>

I'm not saying everyone with CF should not have kids. It's a very personal decision. But don't jump on Amy, because she's made a mature choice. Maybe you don't like it because it makes you feel selfish, I don't know. But if you do, that's your own problem, not hers.

 

[Emily65Roses]

<div class="FTQUOTE"><begin quote><i>Originally posted by: <b>sakasuka</b></i>
What you fail to see is that this decision isn't about ME. It's about a potential child.

It's not about ME missing out on anything. It's about a child missing out on a parent who is about to dedicate themselves to raising the child.
</end quote>

This is a very good point. People these days (speaking in general, don't freak out) tend to take their own wants into account more than the child's. <b>I</b> want a child, <b>I</b> want to be a parent. Not... Is it the best idea for the child? Or... Can I really care for a child properly?

Amy is worrying about the child more than herself, and that takes more guts than most of you want to admit. Mike and I recently came to a similar decision, and it sucks. But we have the sense to know that we probably won't be able to offer a child everything s/he deserves. So we're keeping ourselves out of the decision and making a choice that is best for the as of yet unborn child. Do I still want to be a mother? Does Mike still want to be a father? Certainly. But that want doesn't override the fact that we should only bring a child into the world if we know we can give it everything it deserves. <i>(As I said before, this is our most recent decision. It may change with time, after a tx, who knows. I'm not saying it's set in stone. It's just something we've come to at least for now.)</i>

I'm not saying everyone with CF should not have kids. It's a very personal decision. But don't jump on Amy, because she's made a mature choice. Maybe you don't like it because it makes you feel selfish, I don't know. But if you do, that's your own problem, not hers.

 

[julie]

Amy, I'm responding because quite franky I'm frustrated and disgusted with how you are allowed to treat other's on this website. It's one thing to say, "having children isn't for me and here is why it isn't MY cup of tea" and what you inadvertently do in most of your posts- blatantly disrespect and put down other people.

Not to drag LightNlife into this, but she continually shares why having children isn't right for her when the topic arises. But she does so with respect and class. So can you, but you choose not to and you choose to be disrespectful to others.

If you really think about it, everything we do in life is shelfish, everything has a selfish motive of some sort behind it. Furthermore, the reality of life is that at some point ALL of us are going to die. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Not the length of your life, whether you are born with a disease like CF or not. We now have MANY 50+ CFers on this website and I've had a handful of relatives (CF free) who have died at a young age for various reasons.

"I have decided to be selfless, think outside myself and not just about what I want" You are smart amy, you know that you are implying that because other's choose to have a baby they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. There is a much better way to relay your feelings than how you are continuing to do so. Please consider and respect others, it's really starting to get out of hand.

 

[julie]

Amy, I'm responding because quite franky I'm frustrated and disgusted with how you are allowed to treat other's on this website. It's one thing to say, "having children isn't for me and here is why it isn't MY cup of tea" and what you inadvertently do in most of your posts- blatantly disrespect and put down other people.

Not to drag LightNlife into this, but she continually shares why having children isn't right for her when the topic arises. But she does so with respect and class. So can you, but you choose not to and you choose to be disrespectful to others.

If you really think about it, everything we do in life is shelfish, everything has a selfish motive of some sort behind it. Furthermore, the reality of life is that at some point ALL of us are going to die. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Not the length of your life, whether you are born with a disease like CF or not. We now have MANY 50+ CFers on this website and I've had a handful of relatives (CF free) who have died at a young age for various reasons.

"I have decided to be selfless, think outside myself and not just about what I want" You are smart amy, you know that you are implying that because other's choose to have a baby they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. There is a much better way to relay your feelings than how you are continuing to do so. Please consider and respect others, it's really starting to get out of hand.

 

[julie]

Amy, I'm responding because quite franky I'm frustrated and disgusted with how you are allowed to treat other's on this website. It's one thing to say, "having children isn't for me and here is why it isn't MY cup of tea" and what you inadvertently do in most of your posts- blatantly disrespect and put down other people.

Not to drag LightNlife into this, but she continually shares why having children isn't right for her when the topic arises. But she does so with respect and class. So can you, but you choose not to and you choose to be disrespectful to others.

If you really think about it, everything we do in life is shelfish, everything has a selfish motive of some sort behind it. Furthermore, the reality of life is that at some point ALL of us are going to die. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Not the length of your life, whether you are born with a disease like CF or not. We now have MANY 50+ CFers on this website and I've had a handful of relatives (CF free) who have died at a young age for various reasons.

"I have decided to be selfless, think outside myself and not just about what I want" You are smart amy, you know that you are implying that because other's choose to have a baby they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. There is a much better way to relay your feelings than how you are continuing to do so. Please consider and respect others, it's really starting to get out of hand.

 

[julie]

Amy, I'm responding because quite franky I'm frustrated and disgusted with how you are allowed to treat other's on this website. It's one thing to say, "having children isn't for me and here is why it isn't MY cup of tea" and what you inadvertently do in most of your posts- blatantly disrespect and put down other people.

Not to drag LightNlife into this, but she continually shares why having children isn't right for her when the topic arises. But she does so with respect and class. So can you, but you choose not to and you choose to be disrespectful to others.

If you really think about it, everything we do in life is shelfish, everything has a selfish motive of some sort behind it. Furthermore, the reality of life is that at some point ALL of us are going to die. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Not the length of your life, whether you are born with a disease like CF or not. We now have MANY 50+ CFers on this website and I've had a handful of relatives (CF free) who have died at a young age for various reasons.

"I have decided to be selfless, think outside myself and not just about what I want" You are smart amy, you know that you are implying that because other's choose to have a baby they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. There is a much better way to relay your feelings than how you are continuing to do so. Please consider and respect others, it's really starting to get out of hand.

 

[julie]

Amy, I'm responding because quite franky I'm frustrated and disgusted with how you are allowed to treat other's on this website. It's one thing to say, "having children isn't for me and here is why it isn't MY cup of tea" and what you inadvertently do in most of your posts- blatantly disrespect and put down other people.

Not to drag LightNlife into this, but she continually shares why having children isn't right for her when the topic arises. But she does so with respect and class. So can you, but you choose not to and you choose to be disrespectful to others.

If you really think about it, everything we do in life is shelfish, everything has a selfish motive of some sort behind it. Furthermore, the reality of life is that at some point ALL of us are going to die. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Not the length of your life, whether you are born with a disease like CF or not. We now have MANY 50+ CFers on this website and I've had a handful of relatives (CF free) who have died at a young age for various reasons.

"I have decided to be selfless, think outside myself and not just about what I want" You are smart amy, you know that you are implying that because other's choose to have a baby they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. There is a much better way to relay your feelings than how you are continuing to do so. Please consider and respect others, it's really starting to get out of hand.

 

[julie]

Amy, I'm responding because quite franky I'm frustrated and disgusted with how you are allowed to treat other's on this website. It's one thing to say, "having children isn't for me and here is why it isn't MY cup of tea" and what you inadvertently do in most of your posts- blatantly disrespect and put down other people.

Not to drag LightNlife into this, but she continually shares why having children isn't right for her when the topic arises. But she does so with respect and class. So can you, but you choose not to and you choose to be disrespectful to others.

If you really think about it, everything we do in life is shelfish, everything has a selfish motive of some sort behind it. Furthermore, the reality of life is that at some point ALL of us are going to die. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Not the length of your life, whether you are born with a disease like CF or not. We now have MANY 50+ CFers on this website and I've had a handful of relatives (CF free) who have died at a young age for various reasons.

"I have decided to be selfless, think outside myself and not just about what I want" You are smart amy, you know that you are implying that because other's choose to have a baby they are selfish and thinking only of themselves. There is a much better way to relay your feelings than how you are continuing to do so. Please consider and respect others, it's really starting to get out of hand.

 

[coltsfan715]

I am not going to be having kids but at one time wanted too.

When I first thought of having children I wanted to have biological children ONLY if the person I married was NOT a carrier. I actually specifically told my fiance I would NOT have children with him if he were a carrier.

As for the actual having children - I was told several years ago that it should be considered out of the question because of the status of my health and my low lung function. Now I am post transplant and they still recommend against it because of the medications and the possible effects it could have on my prognosis with the transplant.

We have mentioned surrogacy or adoption. Either at this point are a no go because honestly we don't want kids right now we have gotten to a point that we are happy without them.

I will say this though - If I had kids I would tell them about being a CF carrier. I would make sure that they knew. Though I will say I am sure that it is something they would figure out in high school when they enter Biology because you learn about genetics and you learn about CF in school. They would probably put two and two together and figure out they are a carrier.

Take care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I am not going to be having kids but at one time wanted too.

When I first thought of having children I wanted to have biological children ONLY if the person I married was NOT a carrier. I actually specifically told my fiance I would NOT have children with him if he were a carrier.

As for the actual having children - I was told several years ago that it should be considered out of the question because of the status of my health and my low lung function. Now I am post transplant and they still recommend against it because of the medications and the possible effects it could have on my prognosis with the transplant.

We have mentioned surrogacy or adoption. Either at this point are a no go because honestly we don't want kids right now we have gotten to a point that we are happy without them.

I will say this though - If I had kids I would tell them about being a CF carrier. I would make sure that they knew. Though I will say I am sure that it is something they would figure out in high school when they enter Biology because you learn about genetics and you learn about CF in school. They would probably put two and two together and figure out they are a carrier.

Take care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I am not going to be having kids but at one time wanted too.

When I first thought of having children I wanted to have biological children ONLY if the person I married was NOT a carrier. I actually specifically told my fiance I would NOT have children with him if he were a carrier.

As for the actual having children - I was told several years ago that it should be considered out of the question because of the status of my health and my low lung function. Now I am post transplant and they still recommend against it because of the medications and the possible effects it could have on my prognosis with the transplant.

We have mentioned surrogacy or adoption. Either at this point are a no go because honestly we don't want kids right now we have gotten to a point that we are happy without them.

I will say this though - If I had kids I would tell them about being a CF carrier. I would make sure that they knew. Though I will say I am sure that it is something they would figure out in high school when they enter Biology because you learn about genetics and you learn about CF in school. They would probably put two and two together and figure out they are a carrier.

Take care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I am not going to be having kids but at one time wanted too.

When I first thought of having children I wanted to have biological children ONLY if the person I married was NOT a carrier. I actually specifically told my fiance I would NOT have children with him if he were a carrier.

As for the actual having children - I was told several years ago that it should be considered out of the question because of the status of my health and my low lung function. Now I am post transplant and they still recommend against it because of the medications and the possible effects it could have on my prognosis with the transplant.

We have mentioned surrogacy or adoption. Either at this point are a no go because honestly we don't want kids right now we have gotten to a point that we are happy without them.

I will say this though - If I had kids I would tell them about being a CF carrier. I would make sure that they knew. Though I will say I am sure that it is something they would figure out in high school when they enter Biology because you learn about genetics and you learn about CF in school. They would probably put two and two together and figure out they are a carrier.

Take care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I am not going to be having kids but at one time wanted too.

When I first thought of having children I wanted to have biological children ONLY if the person I married was NOT a carrier. I actually specifically told my fiance I would NOT have children with him if he were a carrier.

As for the actual having children - I was told several years ago that it should be considered out of the question because of the status of my health and my low lung function. Now I am post transplant and they still recommend against it because of the medications and the possible effects it could have on my prognosis with the transplant.

We have mentioned surrogacy or adoption. Either at this point are a no go because honestly we don't want kids right now we have gotten to a point that we are happy without them.

I will say this though - If I had kids I would tell them about being a CF carrier. I would make sure that they knew. Though I will say I am sure that it is something they would figure out in high school when they enter Biology because you learn about genetics and you learn about CF in school. They would probably put two and two together and figure out they are a carrier.

Take care,
Lindsey

 

[coltsfan715]

I am not going to be having kids but at one time wanted too.

When I first thought of having children I wanted to have biological children ONLY if the person I married was NOT a carrier. I actually specifically told my fiance I would NOT have children with him if he were a carrier.

As for the actual having children - I was told several years ago that it should be considered out of the question because of the status of my health and my low lung function. Now I am post transplant and they still recommend against it because of the medications and the possible effects it could have on my prognosis with the transplant.

We have mentioned surrogacy or adoption. Either at this point are a no go because honestly we don't want kids right now we have gotten to a point that we are happy without them.

I will say this though - If I had kids I would tell them about being a CF carrier. I would make sure that they knew. Though I will say I am sure that it is something they would figure out in high school when they enter Biology because you learn about genetics and you learn about CF in school. They would probably put two and two together and figure out they are a carrier.

Take care,
Lindsey