Hi everyone, it seems only natural to question god as to why we would have CF. I myself am 29 and despite doctors attempts to try and control me I have developed a sense of what my body needs, providing myself with good nutrition, excersice, plenty of fun and most importantly, a positive outlook on life. I am absolutlely rubbish at taking my medicine though now that im older I do try a bit harder. This is the first time I've been on a CF forum as I have always maintained that CF is the smallest part of me, and that I'm so much more than an illness, tonight reading through the posts I sense that CF and the downsides of CF are a huge part for some. Before addressing the issue of God, I ask those of you whose lives seem consumed by there CF to close your eyes and using your imaginations, remove your cystic fibrosis,then take a deep look at the person you are, identify your strong points, the cool quirky things that make you you, realise your ambitions as they stand without limitation, and realise the so many likable characteristics that make you you. Focus on this, and hold on to this and then once you have a strong sense of the person you are without CF,allow your CF back into the equation but forgetting not to focus on the other areas of yourself which you have just identified. When you do this realise that you are still the same person which you identified without CF. Don't allow CF to control your mind as well as your body and try not to identify yourself as an illness. This should stop or at least dampen the sense of 'why me'.
Back to God. I can only describe my own take on why we have CF and I can tell you how I have arrived at this conclusion but it is up to you wether you find it helpful or not.
It is my personal belief that life is programmed by god to continually evolve and develop and that each of us are small parts that make up 'the bigger picture', an that each of us have an equallly important role in the intended progression of our society. I beleive it is all planned before we even arrive on earth. You may not know it now and you may not become aware of it for years, if at all, but your cystic fibrosis may be the catalyst for another event crucial to the bigger picture.
In the last two years I've opened up to god in a way that I never imagined possible. It has been since then that I feel he has shown me my purpose and directed me along my correct path. I know that my choices have been inspired by the devine because although I now know where I'm going I can't actually remember the moment that I decided to go that way.
I've alsways been lazy and have only ever been driven by money, and have always been a drop out. Last september at the last minute I joined college sure as sure could be that I was going to qualify for uni and then go into CF research and cure it. I have put my trust in god that if I do my duty down here, he'll continue to take me along the correct road. Nothing in my life has ever worked out exactly as planned, yet this has. I completed college with excellent grades and attendance and start Uni at the end of this month.
I have been lucky enough to manage my CF and have made deamned sure that I get everything out of life, but I have also seen the devestation it can cause. My sister was born in 1976 and back then the doctors had no clue, she and her friends whom at that time were encouraged to play and socialise together, all died. I have also walked down the corridor of the hospital ward when I have been admitted, and passed fellow patients that looked so fed up with life, that there seemed no fight or will left in them. It's painful to see someone with the same condition give up. I also know how it feels to be so consumed by infection that standing up even gets you out of breath, and having to face the embarressmnet of taking a coughing fit in public and being looked at like I got the plague. These are all horrible consequences of CF yet these are inspiring forces that drive me on. If god hadn't given me CF, if my childhood and my family hadn't been shattered by the death of my sister, then I wouldn't be embarking on a life of research. Your CF is not a punishment, it will have a purpose in the bigger picture, and perhaps may become your inspiration too. Try to identify all the positive outcomes of bad situations and life should become a far more pleasant journey.
