Amnio test said my baby is positive for CF

[Peanut2008]

Hello everyone, I know it has been a long time since I was here and I am sure some of you are wondering of what decision me and finacee took in ref to our peanut...Well I finally have found the strength to tell you what we have chosen to do and how hard it has been since that day...We decided after viewing several videos on YouTube showing children and young adults suffering and recieving treatments for this dreaded disease to terminate our pregnancy....It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make....I cry everyday and think about my peanut and when I think about my peanut I cant help but think about each and everyone of you....think about everything that you are all going through, think about your special children and I cant help but feel that I was somehow meant to have all of you to come across my life. All of you and this disease has changed me, although I am not affected by this disease directly I feel that I need to let people know that this disease is out there and that this disease needs a cure ASAP. I am not a doctor nor am I rich but I feel that I will somehow do something, maybe not now, in order to help. I come here everyday and read everyones blogs I have you all in my heart...I hope that although I didnt continue with my pregnancy that some of you will understand my reason behind it. I dont mean for anyone to be offended or be upset for not following anyones advised, my desicion was made because I feel that life is hard already, and to add something like this disease with the needles, PICC lines, hospitals, treatments, pain, sadness,tears and everything else that comes with this would be even worse. Had I not known that my peanut was going to be sick I would have probably dealt with it, I probably would have ended up in the hospital along with my peanut and I would have hated myself for not being able to protect my child from this. I said it before and I will say it again, I am not woman enough to handle such a serious disease....I can handle my pains when i go to the hospitals, i cna handle when i get depresed and I can handle when I dont want to get off of the bed because I am in pain but I cannot handle that seeing someone else go through that. Pls forgive me if I offended anyone and pls forgive me for not being strong. I just wanted to give all of you the courtesy of telling you what happened and to let you know again how much you all have touched me<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Peanut 2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hello everyone, I know it has been a long time since I was here and I am sure some of you are wondering of what decision me and finacee took in ref to our peanut...Well I finally have found the strength to tell you what we have chosen to do and how hard it has been since that day...We decided after viewing several videos on YouTube showing children and young adults suffering and recieving treatments for this dreaded disease to terminate our pregnancy....It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make....I cry everyday and think about my peanut and when I think about my peanut I cant help but think about each and everyone of you....think about everything that you are all going through, think about your special children and I cant help but feel that I was somehow meant to have all of you to come across my life. All of you and this disease has changed me, although I am not affected by this disease directly I feel that I need to let people know that this disease is out there and that this disease needs a cure ASAP. I am not a doctor nor am I rich but I feel that I will somehow do something, maybe not now, in order to help. I come here everyday and read everyones blogs I have you all in my heart...I hope that although I didnt continue with my pregnancy that some of you will understand my reason behind it. I dont mean for anyone to be offended or be upset for not following anyones advised, my desicion was made because I feel that life is hard already, and to add something like this disease with the needles, PICC lines, hospitals, treatments, pain, sadness,tears and everything else that comes with this would be even worse. Had I not known that my peanut was going to be sick I would have probably dealt with it, I probably would have ended up in the hospital along with my peanut and I would have hated myself for not being able to protect my child from this. I said it before and I will say it again, I am not woman enough to handle such a serious disease....I can handle my pains when i go to the hospitals, i cna handle when i get depresed and I can handle when I dont want to get off of the bed because I am in pain but I cannot handle that seeing someone else go through that. Pls forgive me if I offended anyone and pls forgive me for not being strong. I just wanted to give all of you the courtesy of telling you what happened and to let you know again how much you all have touched me<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Peanut 2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hello everyone, I know it has been a long time since I was here and I am sure some of you are wondering of what decision me and finacee took in ref to our peanut...Well I finally have found the strength to tell you what we have chosen to do and how hard it has been since that day...We decided after viewing several videos on YouTube showing children and young adults suffering and recieving treatments for this dreaded disease to terminate our pregnancy....It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make....I cry everyday and think about my peanut and when I think about my peanut I cant help but think about each and everyone of you....think about everything that you are all going through, think about your special children and I cant help but feel that I was somehow meant to have all of you to come across my life. All of you and this disease has changed me, although I am not affected by this disease directly I feel that I need to let people know that this disease is out there and that this disease needs a cure ASAP. I am not a doctor nor am I rich but I feel that I will somehow do something, maybe not now, in order to help. I come here everyday and read everyones blogs I have you all in my heart...I hope that although I didnt continue with my pregnancy that some of you will understand my reason behind it. I dont mean for anyone to be offended or be upset for not following anyones advised, my desicion was made because I feel that life is hard already, and to add something like this disease with the needles, PICC lines, hospitals, treatments, pain, sadness,tears and everything else that comes with this would be even worse. Had I not known that my peanut was going to be sick I would have probably dealt with it, I probably would have ended up in the hospital along with my peanut and I would have hated myself for not being able to protect my child from this. I said it before and I will say it again, I am not woman enough to handle such a serious disease....I can handle my pains when i go to the hospitals, i cna handle when i get depresed and I can handle when I dont want to get off of the bed because I am in pain but I cannot handle that seeing someone else go through that. Pls forgive me if I offended anyone and pls forgive me for not being strong. I just wanted to give all of you the courtesy of telling you what happened and to let you know again how much you all have touched me<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Peanut 2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hello everyone, I know it has been a long time since I was here and I am sure some of you are wondering of what decision me and finacee took in ref to our peanut...Well I finally have found the strength to tell you what we have chosen to do and how hard it has been since that day...We decided after viewing several videos on YouTube showing children and young adults suffering and recieving treatments for this dreaded disease to terminate our pregnancy....It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make....I cry everyday and think about my peanut and when I think about my peanut I cant help but think about each and everyone of you....think about everything that you are all going through, think about your special children and I cant help but feel that I was somehow meant to have all of you to come across my life. All of you and this disease has changed me, although I am not affected by this disease directly I feel that I need to let people know that this disease is out there and that this disease needs a cure ASAP. I am not a doctor nor am I rich but I feel that I will somehow do something, maybe not now, in order to help. I come here everyday and read everyones blogs I have you all in my heart...I hope that although I didnt continue with my pregnancy that some of you will understand my reason behind it. I dont mean for anyone to be offended or be upset for not following anyones advised, my desicion was made because I feel that life is hard already, and to add something like this disease with the needles, PICC lines, hospitals, treatments, pain, sadness,tears and everything else that comes with this would be even worse. Had I not known that my peanut was going to be sick I would have probably dealt with it, I probably would have ended up in the hospital along with my peanut and I would have hated myself for not being able to protect my child from this. I said it before and I will say it again, I am not woman enough to handle such a serious disease....I can handle my pains when i go to the hospitals, i cna handle when i get depresed and I can handle when I dont want to get off of the bed because I am in pain but I cannot handle that seeing someone else go through that. Pls forgive me if I offended anyone and pls forgive me for not being strong. I just wanted to give all of you the courtesy of telling you what happened and to let you know again how much you all have touched me<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">

Peanut 2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hello everyone, I know it has been a long time since I was here and I am sure some of you are wondering of what decision me and finacee took in ref to our peanut...Well I finally have found the strength to tell you what we have chosen to do and how hard it has been since that day...We decided after viewing several videos on YouTube showing children and young adults suffering and recieving treatments for this dreaded disease to terminate our pregnancy....It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make....I cry everyday and think about my peanut and when I think about my peanut I cant help but think about each and everyone of you....think about everything that you are all going through, think about your special children and I cant help but feel that I was somehow meant to have all of you to come across my life. All of you and this disease has changed me, although I am not affected by this disease directly I feel that I need to let people know that this disease is out there and that this disease needs a cure ASAP. I am not a doctor nor am I rich but I feel that I will somehow do something, maybe not now, in order to help. I come here everyday and read everyones blogs I have you all in my heart...I hope that although I didnt continue with my pregnancy that some of you will understand my reason behind it. I dont mean for anyone to be offended or be upset for not following anyones advised, my desicion was made because I feel that life is hard already, and to add something like this disease with the needles, PICC lines, hospitals, treatments, pain, sadness,tears and everything else that comes with this would be even worse. Had I not known that my peanut was going to be sick I would have probably dealt with it, I probably would have ended up in the hospital along with my peanut and I would have hated myself for not being able to protect my child from this. I said it before and I will say it again, I am not woman enough to handle such a serious disease....I can handle my pains when i go to the hospitals, i cna handle when i get depresed and I can handle when I dont want to get off of the bed because I am in pain but I cannot handle that seeing someone else go through that. Pls forgive me if I offended anyone and pls forgive me for not being strong. I just wanted to give all of you the courtesy of telling you what happened and to let you know again how much you all have touched me<img src="i/expressions/heart.gif" border="0">
<br />
<br />Peanut 2008

 

[julie]

Thank you for coming back and letting us know, I was wondering what you guys decided on. I don't think anyone has a right to judge a decision that you made, you did what you felt was necessary for you, and your unborn child and your family. I don't envy the position you were in and the decision you had to make. I just wish you had the opportunity to meet someone with CF in person...

thank you again for having the guts to let us know. I wish you and your family the best!

 

[julie]

Thank you for coming back and letting us know, I was wondering what you guys decided on. I don't think anyone has a right to judge a decision that you made, you did what you felt was necessary for you, and your unborn child and your family. I don't envy the position you were in and the decision you had to make. I just wish you had the opportunity to meet someone with CF in person...

thank you again for having the guts to let us know. I wish you and your family the best!

 

[julie]

Thank you for coming back and letting us know, I was wondering what you guys decided on. I don't think anyone has a right to judge a decision that you made, you did what you felt was necessary for you, and your unborn child and your family. I don't envy the position you were in and the decision you had to make. I just wish you had the opportunity to meet someone with CF in person...

thank you again for having the guts to let us know. I wish you and your family the best!

 

[julie]

Thank you for coming back and letting us know, I was wondering what you guys decided on. I don't think anyone has a right to judge a decision that you made, you did what you felt was necessary for you, and your unborn child and your family. I don't envy the position you were in and the decision you had to make. I just wish you had the opportunity to meet someone with CF in person...

thank you again for having the guts to let us know. I wish you and your family the best!

 

[julie]

Thank you for coming back and letting us know, I was wondering what you guys decided on. I don't think anyone has a right to judge a decision that you made, you did what you felt was necessary for you, and your unborn child and your family. I don't envy the position you were in and the decision you had to make. I just wish you had the opportunity to meet someone with CF in person...
<br />
<br />thank you again for having the guts to let us know. I wish you and your family the best!

 

[Peanut2008]

Hey Pepe,
I understand how you feel and you have everyr ight to feel the way you do....I saw all of the videos, i was grasping at straws anything that would let me know that everything would be ok....i spk to some kids that were 13,15, and i even spk to a young lady that was going to be 21. The younger kids told me how they felt even though they did tell me that they are happy they are here, they told me that they wish they didnt have to go to the hospitals, that they wish in the summers they could hang out instead of going through tune ups and they told me that they wish that although they are not constantly in pain they said that there are times when they are in alot of pain and cant breath...The 21 year old wrote that she was sad because she didnt want her family to suffer because of her and so she didnt want to let them know when she was scared or not feeling well, she said that she would think about the pain she was going to cause the people that love her if she passed away...Believe me before I made my decision i tried to look everywhere because I wanted to keep my baby but I didnt want to be selfish, I didnt want to bring my baby into this world and see him suffering, like i said had i not known then yes I would have had my son but knowing that this disease may take him away from me and those that love him early was killing me.

I saw the videos of the people that have suffered from CF and have done amazing things, I saw the video of the beaufitul young girl that was jumping on the trampeline looking happy and beautiful and smiling and then I saw another girl who couldnt even talk because she was coughing like crazy, she was coughing up blood, I saw the young man who couldnt breath, I saw the movie of the little nine year old girl that passed away because of CF. I know that there are alot of different diseases out there and i know everyday people die of different things but for me to know that my baby would be born and that I could nt take away his pain when he would be sick I would nt be able to handle that.

Today I just found out that someone who I worked with only 28 years old passed away after being in a coma, so yes i know people do get sick but I also think of how much it would hurt seeing someone i love with the same intensity I love my little girl suffer. When my daughter gets sick from something no where as severe as CF I go crazy....I cry with her if they give her a needle...i go crazy if she does nt stop throwing up if she has a virus and I cant sleep wondering if she is ok and she is a healthy little girl..How do u think I would be with a sick child? I admire all of the parents that are able to have the strength to be strong when their children are sick. I admire you for your strength. I really hope that you can understand how i feel and how hard it was for me to make the decision i made.

I hope you do get your transplant ASAP!
I know that I dont know you personally but I do believe that you are someone who will make a difference in this world and to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing you.

Peanut2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hey Pepe,
I understand how you feel and you have everyr ight to feel the way you do....I saw all of the videos, i was grasping at straws anything that would let me know that everything would be ok....i spk to some kids that were 13,15, and i even spk to a young lady that was going to be 21. The younger kids told me how they felt even though they did tell me that they are happy they are here, they told me that they wish they didnt have to go to the hospitals, that they wish in the summers they could hang out instead of going through tune ups and they told me that they wish that although they are not constantly in pain they said that there are times when they are in alot of pain and cant breath...The 21 year old wrote that she was sad because she didnt want her family to suffer because of her and so she didnt want to let them know when she was scared or not feeling well, she said that she would think about the pain she was going to cause the people that love her if she passed away...Believe me before I made my decision i tried to look everywhere because I wanted to keep my baby but I didnt want to be selfish, I didnt want to bring my baby into this world and see him suffering, like i said had i not known then yes I would have had my son but knowing that this disease may take him away from me and those that love him early was killing me.

I saw the videos of the people that have suffered from CF and have done amazing things, I saw the video of the beaufitul young girl that was jumping on the trampeline looking happy and beautiful and smiling and then I saw another girl who couldnt even talk because she was coughing like crazy, she was coughing up blood, I saw the young man who couldnt breath, I saw the movie of the little nine year old girl that passed away because of CF. I know that there are alot of different diseases out there and i know everyday people die of different things but for me to know that my baby would be born and that I could nt take away his pain when he would be sick I would nt be able to handle that.

Today I just found out that someone who I worked with only 28 years old passed away after being in a coma, so yes i know people do get sick but I also think of how much it would hurt seeing someone i love with the same intensity I love my little girl suffer. When my daughter gets sick from something no where as severe as CF I go crazy....I cry with her if they give her a needle...i go crazy if she does nt stop throwing up if she has a virus and I cant sleep wondering if she is ok and she is a healthy little girl..How do u think I would be with a sick child? I admire all of the parents that are able to have the strength to be strong when their children are sick. I admire you for your strength. I really hope that you can understand how i feel and how hard it was for me to make the decision i made.

I hope you do get your transplant ASAP!
I know that I dont know you personally but I do believe that you are someone who will make a difference in this world and to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing you.

Peanut2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hey Pepe,
I understand how you feel and you have everyr ight to feel the way you do....I saw all of the videos, i was grasping at straws anything that would let me know that everything would be ok....i spk to some kids that were 13,15, and i even spk to a young lady that was going to be 21. The younger kids told me how they felt even though they did tell me that they are happy they are here, they told me that they wish they didnt have to go to the hospitals, that they wish in the summers they could hang out instead of going through tune ups and they told me that they wish that although they are not constantly in pain they said that there are times when they are in alot of pain and cant breath...The 21 year old wrote that she was sad because she didnt want her family to suffer because of her and so she didnt want to let them know when she was scared or not feeling well, she said that she would think about the pain she was going to cause the people that love her if she passed away...Believe me before I made my decision i tried to look everywhere because I wanted to keep my baby but I didnt want to be selfish, I didnt want to bring my baby into this world and see him suffering, like i said had i not known then yes I would have had my son but knowing that this disease may take him away from me and those that love him early was killing me.

I saw the videos of the people that have suffered from CF and have done amazing things, I saw the video of the beaufitul young girl that was jumping on the trampeline looking happy and beautiful and smiling and then I saw another girl who couldnt even talk because she was coughing like crazy, she was coughing up blood, I saw the young man who couldnt breath, I saw the movie of the little nine year old girl that passed away because of CF. I know that there are alot of different diseases out there and i know everyday people die of different things but for me to know that my baby would be born and that I could nt take away his pain when he would be sick I would nt be able to handle that.

Today I just found out that someone who I worked with only 28 years old passed away after being in a coma, so yes i know people do get sick but I also think of how much it would hurt seeing someone i love with the same intensity I love my little girl suffer. When my daughter gets sick from something no where as severe as CF I go crazy....I cry with her if they give her a needle...i go crazy if she does nt stop throwing up if she has a virus and I cant sleep wondering if she is ok and she is a healthy little girl..How do u think I would be with a sick child? I admire all of the parents that are able to have the strength to be strong when their children are sick. I admire you for your strength. I really hope that you can understand how i feel and how hard it was for me to make the decision i made.

I hope you do get your transplant ASAP!
I know that I dont know you personally but I do believe that you are someone who will make a difference in this world and to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing you.

Peanut2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hey Pepe,
I understand how you feel and you have everyr ight to feel the way you do....I saw all of the videos, i was grasping at straws anything that would let me know that everything would be ok....i spk to some kids that were 13,15, and i even spk to a young lady that was going to be 21. The younger kids told me how they felt even though they did tell me that they are happy they are here, they told me that they wish they didnt have to go to the hospitals, that they wish in the summers they could hang out instead of going through tune ups and they told me that they wish that although they are not constantly in pain they said that there are times when they are in alot of pain and cant breath...The 21 year old wrote that she was sad because she didnt want her family to suffer because of her and so she didnt want to let them know when she was scared or not feeling well, she said that she would think about the pain she was going to cause the people that love her if she passed away...Believe me before I made my decision i tried to look everywhere because I wanted to keep my baby but I didnt want to be selfish, I didnt want to bring my baby into this world and see him suffering, like i said had i not known then yes I would have had my son but knowing that this disease may take him away from me and those that love him early was killing me.

I saw the videos of the people that have suffered from CF and have done amazing things, I saw the video of the beaufitul young girl that was jumping on the trampeline looking happy and beautiful and smiling and then I saw another girl who couldnt even talk because she was coughing like crazy, she was coughing up blood, I saw the young man who couldnt breath, I saw the movie of the little nine year old girl that passed away because of CF. I know that there are alot of different diseases out there and i know everyday people die of different things but for me to know that my baby would be born and that I could nt take away his pain when he would be sick I would nt be able to handle that.

Today I just found out that someone who I worked with only 28 years old passed away after being in a coma, so yes i know people do get sick but I also think of how much it would hurt seeing someone i love with the same intensity I love my little girl suffer. When my daughter gets sick from something no where as severe as CF I go crazy....I cry with her if they give her a needle...i go crazy if she does nt stop throwing up if she has a virus and I cant sleep wondering if she is ok and she is a healthy little girl..How do u think I would be with a sick child? I admire all of the parents that are able to have the strength to be strong when their children are sick. I admire you for your strength. I really hope that you can understand how i feel and how hard it was for me to make the decision i made.

I hope you do get your transplant ASAP!
I know that I dont know you personally but I do believe that you are someone who will make a difference in this world and to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing you.

Peanut2008

 

[Peanut2008]

Hey Pepe,
<br />I understand how you feel and you have everyr ight to feel the way you do....I saw all of the videos, i was grasping at straws anything that would let me know that everything would be ok....i spk to some kids that were 13,15, and i even spk to a young lady that was going to be 21. The younger kids told me how they felt even though they did tell me that they are happy they are here, they told me that they wish they didnt have to go to the hospitals, that they wish in the summers they could hang out instead of going through tune ups and they told me that they wish that although they are not constantly in pain they said that there are times when they are in alot of pain and cant breath...The 21 year old wrote that she was sad because she didnt want her family to suffer because of her and so she didnt want to let them know when she was scared or not feeling well, she said that she would think about the pain she was going to cause the people that love her if she passed away...Believe me before I made my decision i tried to look everywhere because I wanted to keep my baby but I didnt want to be selfish, I didnt want to bring my baby into this world and see him suffering, like i said had i not known then yes I would have had my son but knowing that this disease may take him away from me and those that love him early was killing me.
<br />
<br />I saw the videos of the people that have suffered from CF and have done amazing things, I saw the video of the beaufitul young girl that was jumping on the trampeline looking happy and beautiful and smiling and then I saw another girl who couldnt even talk because she was coughing like crazy, she was coughing up blood, I saw the young man who couldnt breath, I saw the movie of the little nine year old girl that passed away because of CF. I know that there are alot of different diseases out there and i know everyday people die of different things but for me to know that my baby would be born and that I could nt take away his pain when he would be sick I would nt be able to handle that.
<br />
<br />Today I just found out that someone who I worked with only 28 years old passed away after being in a coma, so yes i know people do get sick but I also think of how much it would hurt seeing someone i love with the same intensity I love my little girl suffer. When my daughter gets sick from something no where as severe as CF I go crazy....I cry with her if they give her a needle...i go crazy if she does nt stop throwing up if she has a virus and I cant sleep wondering if she is ok and she is a healthy little girl..How do u think I would be with a sick child? I admire all of the parents that are able to have the strength to be strong when their children are sick. I admire you for your strength. I really hope that you can understand how i feel and how hard it was for me to make the decision i made.
<br />
<br />I hope you do get your transplant ASAP!
<br />I know that I dont know you personally but I do believe that you are someone who will make a difference in this world and to everyone who has the pleasure of knowing you.
<br />
<br />Peanut2008

 

[julie]

Peanut, you did what you needed to do. You are one strong woman and I wish you the best. I am sad that you had to make this decision, but know that it's the right thing for you.

 

[julie]

Peanut, you did what you needed to do. You are one strong woman and I wish you the best. I am sad that you had to make this decision, but know that it's the right thing for you.

 

[julie]

Peanut, you did what you needed to do. You are one strong woman and I wish you the best. I am sad that you had to make this decision, but know that it's the right thing for you.

 

[julie]

Peanut, you did what you needed to do. You are one strong woman and I wish you the best. I am sad that you had to make this decision, but know that it's the right thing for you.

 

[julie]

Peanut, you did what you needed to do. You are one strong woman and I wish you the best. I am sad that you had to make this decision, but know that it's the right thing for you.